I do not own Bleach. Kuno, I mean Kubo owns it.

Ichigo woke up to the sounds of the morning. The window was open, the birds were singing, Rukia was sitting on him, wearing a Chappy costume-

Wait, Chappy costume?

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ichigo screamed as he pushed Rukia off of him. "What the hell, Rukia?!"

"Do you like Chappy?"

"What?!"

"Do YOU like Chappy?" She stared at him with big eyes.

"No!"

Then all hell broke loose.

"AAAAAGH! RUKIA, GET OFF OF ME!!"

"DIE, NON-BELIEVER!"

Ichigo ran down the stairs with Rukia hot at his heels. "COME BACK, YOU FIEND!"

Renji was lying on the ground, shit-faced. "Hehehehehehehe...." He giggled madly.

"RENJI! RENJI, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"

Unfortunately, that wasn't going to happen.

Ichigo tripped over Renji and flew across the room. Rukia landed on his back.

"DEATH TO ALL CHAPPY HATERS!" Rukia howled madly as she began whacking Ichigo with her Chappy Stick.

"OW!" Ichigo covered his head and glared at Rukia. "That's it."

He grabbed Rukia and carried her upstairs. "HEY! RELEASE ME!"

Then Ichigo turned on the bathwater and dumped Rukia into the tub.

"ACK! YOU BEAST!" Rukia thrashed around as Ichigo put a soap bar in her mouth.

"Stay in there and cool off!"

Ichigo stormed out of the house and ran into an ostrich.

"What the hell?"

"Ichigo Kurosaki, am I correct?"

"You're an ostrich."

"I'm here to tell you something."

"You're an ostrich!"

"I bring you a warning."

"YOU'RE AN OSTRICH!"

The ostrich pecked him on his head. "I KNOW, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Ichigo rubbed his head as the ostrich continued.

"There will be a war for the weed and everyone will get stoned in a really big way."

"Yeah...."

"So, you are the only one to stop Aizen to obtaining the weed."

"What?"

"Our lives depend upon you, Ichigo Kurosaki."

The ostrich vainshed in a poof of smoke.

"Wait a- ACK!"

A very wet and pissed off Rukia tackled him. "YOU IDIOT! YOU MADE ME MISS THE APPEARANCE OF MASTER OSTRICH!" She proceeded to beat the snot out of him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Ichigo's screams could be heard thorughout Karakura Town.

The End of Chapter 2.