I do not own Bleach. Kubo does and I hate him for it. Also, a cameo from Ranma 1/2.
"WEEEEEEEEED!"
The residents of Hueco Mundo were in an uproar. Their daily weed supply grew thinner and thinner.
And it was all Aizen's fault.
"My people, you have nothing to fear," Aizen said before his army one day. "I know where we can get some weed."
Gin and Tousen shared concerned glances.
"We will attack the palace of Mr. Ostrich."
Loud protests and complaints filled the air. The Espada knew all too well that Mr. Ostrich was one of the most powerful gods of weed out there.
"Settle down!" Aizen raised his voice for a moment, then went back to his normal tone. " I have a plan for defeating Mr. Ostrich."
The Arrancar listened closely. "There is another weed god that goes by the name of Ms. Hippo. And she will help us get all the weed we can smoke."
Everyone in Hueco Mundo roared as Aizen waved at his fans. Weed! Beautiful weed! All the weed they could smoke!
And nothing would stop them now. Well, almost nothing.
"ICHIGO! WHERE ARE YOU?! GET BACK HERE AND WEAR YOUR CHAPPY PANTIES!"
Rukia had not gotten any better as she ran around Nerima, wearing a tutu with bunny ears on her head. The citizens looked at her as if she'd lost her mind somewhere.
"Ya can't catch me, ya tomboy!"
"RANMA, GET BACK HERE!"
Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendou were, as usual, fighting again.
Rukia looked at the scene with her bloodshot eyes.
"QUIET!" Rukia snatched the mallet from Akane and sent her flying in orbit. Ranma just looked at Rukia in shock.
The petite Shinigami looked at the cursed martial artist and held up her chappy panties. "Chappy........" She hissed.
Ranma screamed as Rukia lunged and pounced upon him. "HOLD STILL! YOU'RE GONNA TEAR THEM!"
Ichigo was sitting in his room, not knowing what to do about Aizen and the weed. "I need to think...." He grabbed a bottle of beer and drunk it. Then he grabbed another one and drunk it. Before long, Ichigo was drunk.
"I'm sick and tired of Rukia treating me like garbage! That midget needs an ass kicking! Yup!" Ichigo hiccuped as he stumbled over his feet. "Ow."
"You're pathetic!" Kon shouted as he walked towards Ichigo. "What kind of Shinigami are you?!"
Ichigo grabbed Kon and hurled him out the window. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"One bastard down, plenty others to go." Ichigo hiccuped again as he crawled to the door.
TBC?