Disclaimer: Why do you think I'm here :P
So remember in the last Chapter when Ino randomly announces that she's going to throw a party...well this is it. And sorry that it's late, it's the end of the year and I have to start thinking of exams and stuff. As for the next chapter I will try for Saturday in the next 2 weeks.
Thanks Dosu Disciple for editing.
Kiba's POV
So here we are at Ino's house bored out of our freaking minds! It's pretty obvious that she wasn't prepared to throw a party, because the only thing we have to eat and drink is broccoli and water. Not exactly what you call party food. Shino thinks she announced having a party just to keep Gaara and Sakura from getting into an argument, which makes sense I guess, they get pretty annoying. I'm just sitting here looking for something, anything, to do. Then I remember we have new kids.
Kiba: Hey you, the scrawny one with the white hair.
New kid: Me? I'm not scrawny.
Kiba: What's your name?
New kid: Suigetsu.
Kiba: And what about everyone else in your little posse over there what are their names.
Suigetsu: Umm...That's Karin *points to girl*, and that guy over there is Juugo.
Kiba: And who's that guy over there?
Suigetsu: How should I know, he just sits there and draws 'til his loner heart is content.
The loner guy looked up when he realized that we were talking about him, and put on a smile.
Loner guy: Hello, my name is Sai, I like to draw.
Suigetsu: Oh my god, we know! You're so freaking annoying, and sort of creepy, and I mean I hang out with her *Points to Karin*.
Karin: Hey Suigetsu! Is there something you want to tell me!
Suigetsu: Yeah there is! You're stupid and ugly and you also somehow managed to be fat on top of it all!
Karin: Are you blind! I am sooo not fat!
Suigetsu: Hey everyone, Karin weighs 130 lbs!
Sakura: On my gosh, that's waaaay more then I weigh.
Gaara: Shut up Sakura! Your chest is so flat it practically caves inward.
Sakura: Go to hell!
Gaara: Already there!
Sakura: ...welcome!
Now this party is starting to get interesting.
Sai: Would you like to see my drawings?
Kiba: Huh?
Sai: My drawings, would you like to see them? *smile*
What's with this guy! You heard the way he introduced himself. 'Hi I'm Sai, I like to draw.' When meet I someone I don't go, 'Hey there, I'm Kiba, I like dogs.' That's just weird, plus the person your meeting probably doesn't care. There's something just not right about this guy, I mean I never asked to see his drawings! Something tells me that he could have so sort of mental problem. You know, he could be mentally handicapped or something... I wouldn't put it past him.
Kiba: Umm...Sure, I guess.
Sai: Here, help yourself.
I took the book form him. I was expecting really, really, really crappy finger paintings. Honestly, I was convinced that this guy wasn't 100% normal in the head, but when I opened the book...
Kiba: Holy shit! These are amazing. You drew these!
Sai: Of course.
Kida: It looks like a photo. How long did it take you to draw this?
Sai: Umm...I started this one in the middle of English, and I was finished before the class ended.
Kiba: Seriously? Then it didn't even take you 40 minutes to draw. I couldn't draw anything like this if I was given a whole year. You're crazy talented Sai.
Sai:*smile* Thank you.
I was so interested in Sai's drawings that I didn't even notice that Ino was right beside me.
Ino: HEY!
Kiba: Holy shit Ino! You practically gave me a heart attack!
Ino: Oh, sorry Kiba I didn't mean to scare you. I was yelling at them.
I looked to see where she was pointing to and sure enough, there was Gaara pinning Sakura to a wall with one hand by her forehead. And to make matters worse Naruto's standing right there trying to ask her out for the 10 thousandth time. Karin's chasing Sugetsu around the house with a pair of Crayola scissors, threatening to slice him up, one calorie at a time. Shikamaru's fallen asleep. Choji is digging around between couch cushions looking for forgotten snacks. Juugo was walking around with Hinata in one arm and Shino in the other. He was saying something like, 'See told you I was strong.' And of course Sasuke was standing in the corner with a look that said, 'I'd rather be raped by a hippo, then stand here and watch this.' Good times.
Ino: Okay Kiba, on the count of three we both yell 'hey.'
Kiba: Okay.
Ino: Ready?
Kiba: Yup.
Ino: 1...2...3!
...HEEEEEEEY!
And of course everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at us. Well almost everyone, Shikamaru's still sleeping because he's just awesome like that.
Ino: Alright you hooligans! You need something to keep you busy before you demolish my house, so here's what were going to do! We'll play a round of dares.
Gaara: If anyone has a camera I will crush it and eat it, including the batteries! Then I will sue you for attempt at murder by trying to poison me with battery acid!
Naruto: He'll really do it; you should have seen what he ate this morning.
Gaara: Anyone who has a camera, take it out right now and put it on the coffee table!
A number a people actually listened to him and put their cameras on the coffee table, including me. I mean have you ever seen that guy get angry? It's terrifying.
Naruto: Forgive Gaara for being an asshole. He just doesn't want anyone to have anything they could blackmail him with. You guys can all understand that right?
Sakura: I don't think anyone really cares Naruto.
Ino: Alright so here's how it's going to work, everyone take a piece of paper and write down your dare and put it in this hat, and then once everyone has put their dare in we go around and randomly pick one out. And please people; make sure the dares are humanly possible. Shino you can't dare people to try and eat a thousand worms in under a minute, and no daring people to take all their clothes off or to have sex with you, because it's just not going to happen.
Naruto: Damn it!
Ino: Alright you guys think of a dare and write it down.
Shikamaru's POV
Waffles in the sky, so many pretty colours. Is Ino trying to smoke pencils?
"Shikamaru..."
"Yes magical talking kitten?"
"Shikamaru..."
"What talking kitten, what do you want!"
"Shikamaru!"
And that's when I finally woke up.
Choji looked at me funny before asking, "What magical kitten?" Great, apparently I was also talking in my sleep.
Shikamaru: It was just some retarded dream I was having.
Choji: How can someone as smart as you have 'retarded' dreams?
Shikamaru: I don't know. Hey what are we doing anyways?
"Oh right." Choji quickly filled me in on the game Ino had just come up with.
Shikamaru: What the hell that is so lame.
Seriously she couldn't come with anything better. That has got to be the most retarded and most over played game at any party, next to spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven.
"Here you go," Ino said as she handed me a piece of paper and a pen. I took them from her and said...
Shikamaru: Really? You couldn't think of anything else other then this?
Ino: Nope, now write down a dare and put it in the hat over there. Hey! It rhymes! There and dare!
"You're an idiot," I mumbled as I wrote down my dare. After a few minutes everyone had put their piece of paper into the hat. Ino passed the hat around and everyone took out a piece of paper. I really am starting to regret coming over to this 'party'.
"Alright," Ino said as she stood up. "Nobody unfold your papers yet. Well will spin this bottle around and whoever it points to has to unfold their paper and do the dare written on it, understood?" She got a series nods from everyone. "Okay good," she said as she placed the bottle on the coffee table and gave it a quick spin.
Oh shit, is it going to land on me! Nope, never mind. It stopped spinning about 2 inches to my right and landed on Choji. Oh how I feel bad for him.
Ino: Alright Choji, let's see what you have to do.
Choji unfolded the piece of paper and read the contents inside.
Choji: I don't want to do it!
Shikamaru: Huh? Why not? What does it say? *reads paper* Oh my god!
Ino: What does he have to do!
Shikamaru: It says 'give Gaara a lap dance.'
"
WHAT!" Gaara yelled jumping up from his chair. Everyone else in the room, with the exception of Choji and Gaara, was laughing, but of course no one was laughing harder than Naruto.
Ino: Alright I'll cue the music!
"No! No! No!" Gaara yelled as he tried to escape the chair Naruto was currently tying him to. The music started (the song was 'Born this Way') and me and Ino dragged Choji over to Gaara. We both pushed him onto Gaara's lap and watched Choji work his miracles. And by miracles, I mean I think that's the first time I've ever seen Gaara cry. Choji was really getting into it. He was shaking his butt, wiggling his man boobs and was flipping his hair around as well. If Choji were a woman I might actually be jealous of Gaara. But then the song ended, everyone stood and clapped and cheered for Choji. Choji blushed and did little and bowed. Gaara however, still being tied to the chair, cried.
Again Ino span the bottle, and it landed on Sasuke. We all waited silently as he unfolded his paper and read out his dare.
Sasuke: It's telling me to get on the table and dance to 'Whip my Hair' like a stripper. *looks up* I refuse.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Every girl in the room squealed, except for Hinata. And it might just
be my imagination, but I think Suigetsu squealed too.
Sasuke: Didn't you hear me? I said I refuse!
Sakura: Oh but Sasuke you have too!
Sasuke: No!
Suigetsu walked up to Sasuke and whispered something in his ear, and with that Sasuke was up on the table and yelled, "Cue the music!"
Once the music started Sasuke shook his hips, swung his arms, dropped low, and of course what dance would be complete without Sasuke feeling himself all over. Needless to say, the girls went wild. What a drag.
Naruto's POV
I don't see what the big deal is, it's just Sasuke. Oh great, there he goes swinging his shirt above his head...whore.
Naruto: Get a tan!
Sakura: Shut the fuck up!
Why is my future wife insisting on cheating on me with him? Hello! I have tanned skin, blond hair and blue eyes. I'm the fucking California, surfer, dream boy! Why doesn't Sakura just wake up and smell the sexy!
At long last Sasuke's little, smutty boogy woogy was done, and Ino spun the bottle once more. This time the victim was...
Ino: Alright Hinata, let's see what you have to do.
Hinata: Oh no! It says I have to call Neji and say something good about the main household.
Kiba: Oh my god! You got my dare! Hahaha, that couldn't have gone more perfectly!
Gaara: Who's Neji?
Naruto: God Gaara! At least act like you give a damn; Neji is Hinata's jealous cousin. Everyone knows that.
Gaara: Well sorry.
Ino: Here's the phone Hinata. Put it on speaker so we can all hear.
We could hear the phone ring 3 times before Neji answered.
Neji: Hello?
Hinata: umm...
Neji: ...Hello?
Hinata: ..umm...VIVA LA MAIN HOUSEHOLD!
Neji: ...
Hinata: ...
Neji: SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!
Hinata: *hangs up* ...do you think he knew it was me?
Everyone tried they best to reassure her that she disguised her voice very well, and that there was no way Neji could've know it was her. But just to be safe both Kiba and Shino offered to walk her home...and then stand guard outside her bedroom door once they got there.
Ino spun the bottle of destiny and it landed on...yours truly...that means me. I'm not going to deny the fact that I really, really hope I get a dare like Choji's. Only, I want to receive a lap dance and I want to receive it from Sakura. I looked down at my paper...
Naruto: Yes! Lap dance from Sakura! Start the music!
Sakura: What!
Gaara: I forbid it! You guys might lose you're virginity and have babies and make me babysit them! No! No! It's not happening!
Naruto: Sorry man. These things are practically written in stone, your words have no power.
Sakura: Don't I have a say in this!
Naruto and Gaara: NO!
Gaara: Let me see that paper!
Naruto: ..Umm...no.
Gaara: Let me see it!
Naruto: Piss off fire crotch!
Gaara: Leave my pubic hair out of this!
Gaara and I charged toward each other and tackled each other to the floor. We rolled around on the ground as I wasn't trying to stuff the piece of paper in my mouth to keep Gaara from reading it. However he had my face pinned to the floor a lot like the way he had Sakura's head pinned to the wall early. Everyone was chanting...
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Except for this one guy, who was chanting just a little out of sync with everyone else, he was chanting...
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Naruto: Who keeps saying kiss!
Gaara: Shut the hell up Suigetsu!
Everyone paused and looked at Suigetsu.
Suigetsu:...What?
Ino: You're a genius.
Everyone looked back at me and Gaara...
KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!
Gaara: Never! *Victoriously pulls paper out of my mouth*
Naruto: Damn you Gaara!
He was still sitting on my back to keep me from snatching the paper away from him as he read what it really said...
Gaara: It says to sneak into Orochimaru's house with a friend and take pictures.
Everyone's eyes were now on me.
Naruto: ...honestly thought it said lap dance from Sakura...
Sasuke: Who the hell would write a dare like that! What if I had gotten it!
Sakura: I wrote it. I thought it would be really funny-
Sasuke: Bitch! You just ruined the .025 percent chance you had with me!
Gaara: Haha!
Sakura: NO! It took me three years to build up my chances that high!
This was my chance! I managed to get Gaara off my back and ran over to her faster than Choji to an all you can eat buffet. I wrapped my arms around her, which by the way, have pretty good sized biceps. If this doesn't make her melt into me and fucking beg to have my babies with this then I don't even think she's human.
Naruto: Sakura, you are a beautiful human being. Please don't waste your tears on that boy, he's isn't worth it. In fact no one who makes you cry is worth it. I what to see you laugh and be happy so why don't you come with me and-
Sakura: No fucking way! I am not going to Orochimaru's house with you!
Damnit! How did she know that's what I was getting at!
Naruto: Alright Gaara lets go.
Gaara: Obviously. I can't believe you were going to take her with you.
Naruto: Just let it go.
We were already half way to principal Orochimaru's house before I realized that we didn't have a camera.
Naruto: We have to go back and get a camera!
Gaara: Quit being a spaz. I grabbed one off the coffee table as I walked out the door.
Naruto: Look through the picture and see whose it is.
Gaara started looking through the photos. I almost pissed myself. Every single picture was an up close and personal shot of someone's crotch. My crotch was even in there, as well as Gaara's. In fact, I think everyone in our class had at least one picture of their crotch taken. Not that I have studied the crotch of everyone in our class, I'm just guessing.
Gaara: I don't recall anyone ever taking a glamour shot of my crotch, you?
Naruto: No, not at all. How can someone take a picture like this without us knowing!
Gaara: Now I really want to know whose camera this is.
Naruto: Yah no kidding...Oh! My! God! I think we're here.
Gaara: Holy shit! Do you think he could get arrested for this?
Looking at the front yard you could just tell this was Orochimaru's place. There were hundreds and hundreds, maybe even thousands of lawn gnomes. All over his yard, some were even on the roof, but that's not the creepiest part. The creepiest part was the fact that each gnome had a mask of Sasuke's face! The details were perfect, down to the last pore. I think this is the first time that I have ever felt bad for Sasuke.
Naruto: I'm scared.
Gaara: We just need to take a few pictures and then we can go.
Gaara took a picture of the lawn and we moved on to the window. He gave me a leg up so I could climb through. Once I was in, I gave him my hand to pull him in. However, I think Gaara has had few too many caramel sundaes over the summer break because, damn it, he's a lot heavier then he looks! We both fell back to the floor, with him landing on top of me. We looked at each other.
Gaara:...Naruto...
Naruto: Please don't say something creepy like, 'I'm hard.'
Gaara: Okay never mind.
Naruto: Don't freak me out like that! I can feel that you're not-
Gaara: ...
Naruto: ...Just get off.
Gaara got off and helped me up as well.
Gaara: Suigetsu will be sorry he missed that.
I was about to slap Gaara upside the head for mentioning that freak, but then I saw it! And I'm not really sure how to explain it, but it was like those crappy rides for little kids that you see in front of grocery stores or in malls. Their usually in the shape horses or cars or even air planes. Well Orochimaru had one, in his house, in the shape of SASUKE FUCKING UCHIHA!
Naruto: Take a picture of me riding this thing! *jumps on*
Gaara: Naruto that's probably Orochimaru favorite sex toy.
Naruto: So? Just take a picture
Gaara: Maybe I should word this differently. That is the thing that Principal Orochimaru's likes to cum on! If you don't get off, you'll get pregnant!
I got off. Gaara took a picture. We moved on. The next room was his bedroom. Gaara tapped me on the shoulder and pointed up at the ceiling. It was just like the ceiling of the Sistine chapel, only instead of God and Adam, it was Orochimaru and Sasuke. Of course it was. I'm not even really surprised anymore. Gaara snapped a picture and we were on our way out when Orochimaru and Kabuto walked in. Both Gaara and I dived under Orochimaru's bed.
Orochimaru: I'm telling you Kabuto, we should change the school's team name from, The Charging Bulls, to the Sexy Sasukes! It would be perfect! Our mascot could Sasuke himself, he would be so honored!
Kabuto:...Or really horrified.
Orochimaru: No, he would definitely be honored.
Orochimaru and Kabuto started arguing about the team name and me and Gaara gave each other terrified looks. We whispered to each other.
Naruto: What do we do?
Gaara: *holds up underwear* This touched my face...
Naruto: Dude!
I slapped it out of his hand. Not smart. I forgot that slapping someone's hand makes a noise, a loud noise.
Orochimaru: What was that!
Kabuto: Where did it come from?
Orochimaru: Oh no! My Horny Daddy Sasuke Dream ride! I bet there are some thieves trying to steal it!
Orochimaru and Kabuto both ran out of the room as if loosing that creepy toy would have actually been a bad thing. I looked over at Gaara who had his mouth covered trying his hardest not to laugh. I had no problem not to laugh because I was too busy being disgusted with our principal. But then I heard Orochimaru yell...
Orochimaru: Someone else's bum has sat upon my Sasuke!
Then I had to cover my mouth because 'bum' is the funniest word ever. Its way funnier the ass or butt, I'm not sure why, but it is. I tried to think of sad things like; dying puppies, dying birds, or Gaara getting a lap dance from Sakura. But the word 'bum' had too much power over me, and I burst out laughing. Gaara is going to kill me later.
Kabuto: That noise came from our bedroom!
Orochimaru: Right we have to-...What do you mean, our bedroom?
Kabuto: ...didn't I say your bedroom.
Orochimaru: I don't know, did you?
Kabuto: ...yes...
As Kabuto and Orochimaru argued, me and Gaara made our escape by jumping out the bedroom window and running until we were at least six blocks away. Then we slowed down to catch our breath when we figured it was safe and continued walking.
Gaara: That was the second most horrifying dare I've had to be a part of today. I don't think I can take much more.
Naruto: Yah, and you still have your dare to do. What is it anyways?
He took out the piece of paper from his pocket and read through it
Gaara: Wow! Of course I would get this!
I took the paper from him, the paper that said, 'get a lap dance from Sakura'.
Naruto: Why! How do the gods figure you're the one to get all of Sakura's lovin'! You don't even want it!
Gaara: Because the gods hate me...let's not go back to the party.
Naruto: But what about the camera?
Gaara: We'll just give it back tomorrow, besides we can find out who's it is then.
I agreed and we went to his house and played video games until we felt human again.
~At the party~
Shino's POV
Ino: Well we've through almost everyone's dare except Gaara's. I wonder what could have happened to him and Naruto.
Sasuke: They went to Orochimaru's house. I could give you about fifty possible situations they could have gotten themselves into, and in none of them do they return to us with their virginity.
Shikamaru: Sasuke, that's just gross.
Sasuke: Have you met Orochimaru! Let's face it, I'm just being realistic.
Karin: What makes you think they were virgins to start with?
Suigetsu: Bitch please.
Karin: I wasn't even talking to you!
Kiba: Well Naruto is a virgin for sure; everything about him screams 'never got laid'. I don't know about Gaara though.
Shino: Trust me, they're both virgins.
Everyone stopped and stared at me, typical.
Kiba: ...and how do you know this?
Shino: I just do. I won't go into details, but I can just tell if people have had sex or not.
Again they all just stared at me as if I were sort of god...Worship me bitches!
Sakura: Shino you're just being silly.
Shino: Well I know for a fact that you, Sakura, are not a virgin.
Kiba: WHAT!
Sakura: S-s-shino! Who told you-
Shino: No one told me I just can tell.
More staring.
Ino: Alright party's over, everybody out!
Shino: Oh, I see. Sakura lost her virginity to-
Ino flew across the couch and covered my mouth with her hand.
Ino: Breathe a word to anyone and I will kill you!
People started clearly out as Ino continued whispering death threats to me. Once everyone was gone I slapped her hand away from my mouth. I got up and started to walk towards the coffee table.
Shino: There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian Ino. But if you and Sakura aren't ready to come out of the closet then I guess that's your business. It's funny, I honestly though you to where going to have sort of death match over Sasuke someday.
Ino: As if! He's so over rated.
Shino: ...Hmm...
Ino: What?
Shino: I can't seem to find my camera.
I didn't even see that ending coming until I wrote it, no joke. And don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a SakuraXIno romance thing. I don't even think I'll make them a couple. I wasn't really even all that happy with this chapter. I thought it was going to be better then it turned out. I thought it would be funnier or something, I think I'm starting to lose my confidence with this one, and I only just started it :P Anyway please review.