16
I was waiting in the dark age, searching for the ones in my life
I'm so far away
But I had hit the ground running, steady as you go, I don't mind
I'm still here today.

The slick black crown of Payne's head was presented to me.
He knelt, his hands joining as if in prayer, extending up to me as though I were the holy Virgin. His fingers were steady as rocks. I tried to conceal my own trembling, in front of this great army, gathered reverently within the courtyard. All eyes were fixated upon me, as usual. It wasn't getting any easier.

I cast about, eyes dragging over the scene.
And then I spotted them. Standing forward from the soldiers, diminutive and brilliant, they waved shyly to me, their beards coarse from lack of a good wash and cut over the past few days.
Their job of watching these men would soon be over. I would perhaps be able to see them sometimes, in the gaps between this chaotic organisation. I would invite them to dine with me. We would have a real private celebration of our own, just as it was around that fire deep within the Sanctuary, not all too long ago.

A smile pulling involuntarily at my mouth, I felt a sudden swelling burst of joy. Looking at them made me realise it all over again, clear of the grief and the guilt and the strain.
We had done it. We had achieved what we'd set out to do. I had done them all proud.
Finally we were at peace, and they were certainly going to get more than a fair trade from me, when they went back to work. If they went back to work.

I thought fleetingly of Gus.

The High Constable's voice never faltered. He had learned these words well, with all the clarity and velvet sincerity anyone could ask for. Perhaps that was why I felt so uneasy. Or perhaps it was the disapproval and concern that I could sense rolling off the huntsman's body, in his awkward defensive stance, in the very tension of his muscular frame.

"I promise on my faith, that I will in the future be faithful to the princess, never cause her harm, and will observe my homage to her completely, against all persons, in good faith and without deceit."

His hands were ever so warm and smooth, as I reached down to clasp them between my own.
"I accept." my voice was strangely hollow and flat, like an echo. "Rise, and depart in my favour. May you find prosperity and goodness wherever you go."

He had sworn. There. It was done.
We were safe.

The crowd of black-clad soldiers, looking like only half an army now without their weapons, waited subserviently. Payne remained kneeling, never looking up.

They must never turn their backs on you. You must retreat inside once the ceremony is done, so that they can move, the Duke had informed me.
Now I glanced over at him, and seeing it was time I spun swiftly about and passed on through the great oak doors, leaving them to make their own way through the portcullis and out into the world.

Right now, William was riding out ahead of them. Thankfully none of them were on horseback.
They would never catch him, and if they did, they had no weapons.
Duke Hammond would never have sent him out if he'd thought it might be dangerous.

I thought these same things to myself over and over, coming to the same conclusions, finding myself scouring back across the idea again and again. I couldn't leave it alone, like an itch, like a pervading nightmare.
A few days. And he would be here. Safe.
He and the remainder of my people.

I realised that I was hungry. Ravenous. I'd had no breakfast.
Things like food were shifted to a lower priority when it came to the kingdom. I was learning it fast.
But I was used to hunger.

"Greta." I said, entering my father's counsel chambers once again.
She was there. She was always there, at my side devotedly. Now she floated towards me with a sweet shy smile.
"Majesty."
"I would appreciate you calling for breakfast to be brought to us. For yourself, and the Duke and huntsman too."

With that, I sat at the table's head as I had done an hour ago, and invited the men to follow suit.
I daren't look at him, for fear of what I'd see there. And it wasn't just because of Payne.

Now that William had gone it was like the sky had opened up above me, leaving me to scorch in the sun's glorious white heat. And I couldn't bear to burn. Not today.
No veil stood between us, between me and this overpowering force of nature, this resounding commanding call, the sheer pure light of him. I had to keep my eyes averted, in case I was caught, and could never look away again. Even though I could feel him gazing at me. Especially because I could feel him gazing at me.

Just not today.
My tasks for the morning alone had barely begun.