Natsume's P.O.V

I don't know how long I stood there after she left. I think I was just to shocked to really do anything. I mean, what is there to say back to that. She is telling you that the girl you love is gone and has been replaced with someone that you couldn't love even if you tried.

Then slowly, I got the feeling in my feet back. I shuffled back to my door and fell onto my bed.

"That was…something," said Koko as he and Ruka came into the room, followed by the girls.

"Her heart is frozen and she kill people. I never would have though we would say that about Mikan," says Ruka.

"We ruined her," says Hotaru.

"Can we reach her and get her back?" asks Anna.

"I don't know. She told me that the Mikan we knew was dead…but," I say.

"But there is always a chance. I don't think that a kind person like Mikan can just suddenly switch like that." says Nonoko.

Unless we really messed up. I didn't say that, but I didn't have to. It was already on everybody's mind. We all knew that there was a chance that we wouldn't never see the smile that we all loved so dearly. That we would never hear the laugh the sounded better then angels singing.

There was a chance that our Mikan was completely gone.

…

Mikan's P.O.V

I had to stop this. I had to stop myself from talking to him. I was hurting me. Not emotionally, but physically.

I sat on the couch in our black and white living room, mindlessly watching television when Hate came in.

He sat down next to me.

"Was he really your boyfriend?" he asked. He already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from my lips.

"Yeah. He was." I said.

"He still loves you," Hate said.

"I know, but his love isn't real love. He just thinks it is," I say.

"Do you love him?" he ask.

I give him a blank look.

"I cant feel love." I say.

"Damnit, Mikan, you know what I mean. does your chest hurt when you are around him because you still love him. Or would love him if you could." he said.

"My heart hurts around him because every time I see his face its like pouring salt into a wound. My heart is still in pain because of him. I never properly mourned him. Some place in my heart, I will always love him. He will always have a piece of me. But he sure as hell doesn't have a whole piece." I say quietly.

For a while he is silent, mulling over my every word.

"Do you hate them?" he asks me.

"No, I don't think that I can." I say. Then humorlessly laugh. "I wish I could though. They deserve it," I say.

"We wont ever betray you. No matter what," says Hate as he takes my hand in his and looks into my eyes.

I smile at him and squeeze his hand.

"I know," I say. He leaves me and goes to bed while I sit there.

Right now they were probably all talking about me. About how I killed that boy. I can still see the look in his eyes before I killed him. The fear. The hate. The terror. The pain. The sadness. And the look that is always in the eyes of the ones leaving this place. The relief.

I closed my eyes and put a hand over my heart.

Is the Mikan they knew truly dead? Am I really to far gone to be able to go back to the way things used to be?

Is there a chance that I could ever feel again?

Then I laugh silently. Of course them coming back would make all these stupid questions pop into my head. I already knew the answer.

Of course not.

My feeling. The old me. Every thing that I used to be.

Its all dead.

…

Hotaru's P.O.V

I don't really know how to process everything that has happened today. I don't really know how a regular person would. I lay awake in my bed. Nothing can get me to sleep. Not talking to Ruka. Not being sung a lullaby. Not even all the sleeping pills I took.

I just cant sleep with the images going through my head.

I don't know who these people are. I don't know what they do. All I know is that whatever they are doing to these kids, its desensitizing them. They are losing there emotions.

I wonder if its scary.

Is it scary looking into the eyes of a person before they die and seeing the fear? Is it scary to not feeling anything when your hands are stained with blood? I wonder how that feels.

Yet, I would never want to feel that for myself.

"Mikan. I know your alive somewhere. I know that your not gone. You have to come back to us. We need you. Please forgive us. Please just return…" I pray silently as my eyes start to close and I fall into a drug induced slumber.

…

Natsume's P.O.V

Flashback

Natsume was sitting under the sakura tree, watching soft, pink petals dance to the ground, when suddenly he heart a familiar voice, and saw a familiar face hovering over his own.

He looked up into the beautiful face of Mikan Yukihara. She was smiling down at him, her smile putting the sun to shame. She was effortlessly melting the ice around his heart that came form whenever she left his side.

Yet he didn't realize any of this at the moment.

"Oi, Natsume, want to go to central town with me?" she asked him.

It wasn't an unusual occurance for them to go together. I mean, they did it practically every week, but this time was different.

She had an unfamiliar blush in her cheeks. She was nervous. Her eyes were practically pleading with him to go.

"Fine," he said as he closed his eyes. "Just go away, ugly," he said.

After the brunette left, he was left with his thoughts. Why was it that she made him feel things that he had never felt before? Why her of all people?

Then the answer suddenly dawned on him. His eyes snapped open and he sat up abruptly.

"Im in love with her." he whispered silently, his cheeks flooding with heat.

For the rest of the day he was in a state of shock. He was quieter then usual and couldn't concentrate on a single thing. All he was thinking about was his 'date' and the girl he was going on it with.

He met Mikan at the bus stop and they headed for Mikan's absolute favorite place. The Howlan shop. Natsume was in a generous mood, cough he just wanted to see her happy cough, so he decided to buy her a box. They pure joy her saw on her face made it worth it.

They both sat on the bench. Her with the box on her lap, eating the treat slowly. Him with his hands behind his head. Suddenly, an idea popped into his mind. It was perfect.

"Oi, idiot, you have some one your lip," he said as he pointed at her. She licked her lips, trying to find what he was talking about.

"Its right there," he said as he got closer and pointed.

"Where?" she asked, but she never finished. He pressed his lips against hers to shut her up. Her brown orbs went wide, the shock of this even settling in, before they went shut and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled back and concealed his blushing face behind his bangs.

"Natsume, I think that im in love with you," she said, her face bright red from the even that just took place and the confession.

He smirked at her. He could see her smile falter.

"Same, polka," he said as he lightly kissed her again, loving the way her lips tasted of sweet candy.

Maybe he could have a happy ending

Flashback end

I opened my eyes. The memory fading into the back of my mind. Hard to believe that was so long ago.

Sometimes it felt like it was just yesterday.

Others it felt like it was lifetimes ago.

It was hard to believe that at a time he was so stupid. He hadn't realized he loved her. I mean, it was so blatantly obvious. In everything he did it pointed to him loving her.

Im fairly certain that the only two people that didn't know they were in love was Mikan and himself.

That love would never die. Their love would never die. They promised each other that when she was locked up by the ESP.

He had to keep him promise. He had to make sure there love would live on.

He had to find a way to make her feel again.

…