This chapter might make more sense if you reread Chapter 17 or 24 in which Charles' ex- (my own creation) makes an off-story appearance.

Chapter 34- Cold feet part4

Charles was a man torn.

He desperately wanted a few more minutes to sift through the advice he had just received but on the other hand, he felt that time was running out if he wanted to head off a pissed Erik from barreling up the path and doing something unspeakably nasty to David. By now, someone must have told him who his surprise visitor was as unfortunately, David was infamously known to most of the mansion staff. The professor massaged the bridge of his nose as he worried about what his friend was thinking. Despite the older man's seemingly calm outlook on life in the last couple of weeks, Erik's default emotion was still anger.

The decision was taken out of his hands as he flipped over his cell to check the caller id when his phone rang. Panic welled up in him like a fever. Oh god…what should he say?

'Erik?' he finally managed to choke out in a scratchy voice.

'Your voice sounds strange,' the other man remarked, 'Do you need me? Did David say something to upset you?'

Glory hallelujah! Erik knew who his visitor was and he didn't sound like he was ready to break anyone in half. Stranger things have happened, dear readers.

'I am fine,' the professor responded simply, too bemused by Erik's mellow attitude to say anything more profound, 'Thank you so much for checking on me.'

'Of course. I'm calling because you NEED to talk to Logan when you get a chance. He's not pleased.'

Charles shook his head, not really surprised at that information but at the moment he had more pressing assumptions to clarify.

'And you Erik? Do you feel the same?'

The silence that followed caused the professor to grip his phone so hard that he heard the casing begin to crack.

'Am I upset? No, but that's only because I know David is here at your invitation,' Erik finally responded, 'but I assure you that I CAN be and WILL be as rude as Satan if you leave the property with him tonight or any other night!'

Even though he had just been crying only a few moments before, Charles had to smile at that statement. There was the Erik he knew and loved!

'Hand your phone to Logan for a second, let me talk to him.'

'We're not together. He's pacing the main corridor in the house mumbling to himself. I advise you to hurry up with your visit before he drops out of the sky like Batman on your position. I left Jean trying to talk some sense into him.'

'You're not at the reception anymore?'

'I left. Between John's irritability and McCoy refusing to dance with me, I am feeling a bit out of sorts now. I am walking towards the practice range.'

The Englishman gasped in surprise as he straightened from his comfortable slouch, 'you asked HANK to dance? Oh…buckets! What happened?'

'He just left me standing there with my hand out. I was mortified.'

He laughed at the man's peeved tone of voice, which he quickly disguised by pretending to cough, 'Don't read too much into that. Hank made and unmade his mind about dancing with me at least fifteen times during today. But thanks for asking him, he needs support.'

'Well, you know…if I can help…you'll let me know.'

Charles grinned happily as the man's voice faded off into an indecipherable mumble before he abruptly closed the call, as if ashamed that he had offered.

'Is that him?' David asked quietly, interrupting the professor's thoughts. 'Is he coming here? Maybe I should leave.' His ex-boyfriend nervously scanned the silent bushes as if expecting a wild animal attack.

'No he's not, but we are going to meet him.' The professor rose to his feet and the man reluctantly followed his lead. Charles couldn't explain it but just hearing Erik's voice had made him feel stronger and calmer.

'Thank you for coming,' the academic added, handing the man back his damp handkerchief with thanks.

'To be perfectly honest, I was quite surprised to get your message,' he confessed.

'Why?' Charles asked absently, 'You've always been a good friend to me and I really needed advice from someone who knows me. You know me better than I know myself.'

David felt his insides shrivel up at his words, wondering if a person could apologise too much for being an ass.

'You can call me anytime you want,' he muttered unsurely, glancing at the man's tear stained face, 'I am sorry that I couldn't tell you what you wanted to hear. You sound like you really like him.'

'I do,' Charles admitted quietly, wiping at his eyes again with the back of his hand, 'I really do. He's smart and he makes me laugh and he likes chess. He loves books too. He comes across a little brooding but deep down he's really nice. Although if you tell him that he would spend half an hour looming over you to try and scare you into thinking he's not.'

'He only looms because he's so tall. What is it with you and tall men?' David added, with a wink down at the man at his side. It was nice to know that HE too could still make Charles smile.

'Perhaps in light of this new information, you would like to amend your advice?'

The visitor reached over and tentatively patted the man's shoulder. 'Charles you always do this. You pick up some fascinating 'specimen' and are immediately smitten with them, and then when it comes down to the boring, everyday, 'how is this relationship actually going to work details', everything falls apart. And it isn't even your friend's fault, it's yours. At least this one, Erik you said, is upfront and has the decency to tell you that he is leaving; that he is not into anything long term.'

David knew he sounded harsh but this is what Charles had called him here for. He hadn't been such a good friend to the man in the past, despite the young man's kind words, but he could be one now. With a quiet sigh, he pushed his sodden handkerchief back into the professor's hand.

'You're not the first person or the last person, for whatever reason, to be terrified of committing to a relationship but if you are going make that leap,' the man added, glancing across into the professor's distressed face, 'do it with someone who is at least willing to take the leap with you.'

By this time they had reached the top of a small hill which then gently sloped towards the secluded target practice area in the distance. Charles stopped and stared longingly at Erik's figure, distinctly visibly against the blue black night in his crisp white shirt. Notwithstanding the occasional nightmare, the older man seemed happy here at his house. Would he still want to leave at the end of his parole? And would it even matter if he stayed?

David's words felt like a death knell echoing in his heart.

Erik had never shown the least amount of interest in anything but being his close friend. Now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense that they got along so well on a day to day basis; Erik didn't want to be tied down and Charles was petrified of becoming too attached to anyone, especially someone who he suspected was mentally strong enough to walk out his life and not even look back.

With a hopeless sigh, he was about to stroll down when David put a restraining hand on his shoulder. 'Stay here with me for awhile, you look awful. I am not delivering you to him like this, not until you calm down a bit. My nose STILL hurts just before a storm.'

Charles looked sympathetically at the slightly off centered appendage, 'he's not going to assault you if that is what you are thinking.'

'I am not reassured,' the other man snapped as he stared down to observe Charles' new paramour closely, 'What the heck is he doing?'

The Englishman looked and then shrugged, 'He thinks guns are an unreliable and unsophisticated means of defense.'

Alrighty then. He would be saying his goodbyes to the professor right here on this nice, safe hill, far away from Erik's reach. He hoped that he had been of some help to the small man.

'Have you decided what you are going to do?' he murmured compassionately, not insensible to the fact that the Englishman was severely grieved by the situation that he had found himself in.

There was no response from the man at his side.

'From the way that you haven't argued with my point of view, I am going to go out on a limb and say that everything I have said tonight, you have already worked out for yourself,' his visitor suggested.

The professor abruptly stopped his nervous pulling of his tie.

'And you already know what you are going to do.'

'I don't know,' the small man confessed in a quiet whisper, 'not yet.'

It was the truth. He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't know if it would be better to just rip off the proverbial bandage in one go and ask the older man to leave or if to allow the slow passage of time to torture him until the day Erik packed a bag and walked away to pursue the life that had been interrupted by his incarceration. Both options held no real appeal; a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea.

In the meantime, he returned the comforting embrace that David offered him, stiffening in surprise when the taller man kissed him before walking away.

Lord love a duck! He hoped Erik hadn't seen that. As if he didn't have enough to worry about!

With a heavy heart he approached the practice clearing, calling out his presence to the older man who immediately put his weapon to one side.

'What happened? I would have liked to meet him,' Erik commented, gesturing towards the figure that was retreating in the distance.

The corner of his mouth hitched slightly as Charles smiled, 'I think your knife throwing put him off.'

'I don't know why it should, considering that you have EVERY trophy, ribbon, medal and certificate ever offered for the sport of archery.'

The Englishman groaned at this bit of exaggeration. He didn't realize that Erik had seen his awards. How embarrassing! 'Well in this part of the world, archery is thought to be eccentric but being able to manipulate a knife the way you do my friend, is considered to be downright scary.'

He remained still as the older man put one hand under his chin to better tilt his face towards the light.

'He hurt you. Why didn't you call me?' Erik hissed angrily, his hand bunching in a tight fist at his side. The professor's eyes were red and puffy. Logan was right! Damn David to hell!

Erik started as Charles pulled away from his touch unexpectedly. Maybe in his anger he had been holding him too hard.

'He didn't hurt me,' the young man murmured, 'we were … we were discussing something distressing.'

He waited patiently for the man to continue but all Charles seemed interested in was fingering his borrowed collection of knives, laid out on a convenient bundle of hay.

'Is someone dead?' he inquired of the bent head under his nose.

'It feels like it,' the young man remarked quietly, 'I don't want to talk about this right now. I could really use a drink.'

Erik scowled as the man turned to walk away and he immediately whipped out a hand to stop him. 'That's nice but you don't get the 'let's talk about it later maybe never' option. We had a deal.'

Charles bounced off his chest as he pulled him closer.

'Look I said no, alright? Not NOW!'

'I don't give a damn what you want and you are not drinking anything, not on my watch! Why have you been crying?' Erik insisted worriedly, gripping the man's forearm tightly as the professor struggled to get away from him. 'Stop that! You are going to hurt yourself.'

The older man staggered as Charles unexpectedly struck him so hard across the face that he saw stars.

'Why can't you take no for an answer, YOU STUPID FUCK?' the small man screamed at him as he darted away. Charles felt as though his heart was beating a million miles a minute and he panted uncomfortably as adrenaline surged through his body like a jolt of high voltage.

Shit.

There was going to be hell to pay for that.

He sneaked a quick glance behind his shoulder and was dismayed that Erik was following him; his long stride easily keeping pace with his jog.

Better to go on the offensive. 'I don't want to talk about it!'

Erik's eyes glittered like hard, diamonds. 'So I've heard.'

'Then leave me alone!' the young man yelled out over his shoulder. He felt so out of control and Erik's calm manner was not helping. He had NO business being this calm when he was so upset!

'Sorry. Can't do that,' the large man replied, 'you are behaving far too irrationally for me to let you go off on your own.'

Charles felt like screaming again. Erik knew he hated when he used his physical strength over him and if he thought he was going to apologise then he would be waiting for a VERY long time. Erik deserved that slap and indeed if he came closer, the professor would be happy to demonstrate the technique again. He was not sorry! Not one bit!

But Erik wasn't getting any closer even though the small man knew that he could. He came up abruptly as a stitch in his side stopped him in dead in his tracks. Trying to catch his breath, he doubled over gripping his side tightly. The pain was severe enough to clear his head and together with the deep breaths he had been forced to take, the professor soon felt like the master of his emotions once again.

Oh god… Erik was going to crucify him. He had hit him, cursed him and broken the promise that the older man had taken as a given; so much for being the only person that Erik trusted. And just imagine… he did it all in the space of ten minutes. Charles absently speculated on what he could manage given an entire hour.

Tentatively the tall man walked forward until they were standing side by side. Charles winced as he observed his handprint on the man's jaw and with a pang of distress he suddenly remembered them dancing not too long ago. The, we-will-laugh-at-this-someday-memory of them tripping over each other's feet in the waltz seemed to have happened a life time ago.

'We don't have to talk about anything, if you would rather not.' Erik remarked quietly, 'I just want to be with you.'

Wonderingly, he folded his arms around the professor as the man suddenly embraced him around his middle, squeezing him so tightly that it seemed unlikely that he would ever let him go.

'It's okay,' Erik said soothingly, stroking his back and the top of his smooth hair. 'Everything is going to be fine. How about we go veg out in front the television? They may have one your X-files reruns on. That would be nice, wouldn't it?'

He strained his ear to hear the man's muffled voice, 'I'm not watching my show with you. I can't hear anything over your sneering laughter. You hate it.'

The larger man didn't care if Charles chose this moment to discuss the elements in the periodic table. All he cared about was that the man was here at his side, where he could protect him from this, as yet to be named harm or danger.

'I don't hate the show. I admire the main character's determination very much. I just don't understand why every question has to be answered with aliens.'

The professor looked up and indeed Erik thought he would never be so happy to see a pair of brilliant blue eyes watching him.

'David was giving me some relationship advice. He said some stuff that I didn't want to hear.'

Erik wasn't sure that he wanted to hear it either but a part of him was relieved that that was what all of this fuss was about. He was beginning to imagine all sorts of horrible scenarios.

'Let me guess, he thinks you are setting yourself up for a bit of a fall,' the older man suggested, giving him a companionable squeeze.

Charles produced a watery smile as way of an answer, immediately placing a silencing kiss on Erik's lips as the older man opened his mouth to respond.

'Don't think I don't know what you are doing,' Erik remarked leaning back to free himself, 'You are trying to distract me with your superior kissing skills.'

The professor choked and immediately turned red at this compliment disguised as a complaint.

'I would never!' he replied in the same teasing tone. Regrettably, Erik's face turn somber again and it was clear he had a few comments of his own to add to the situation. 'I am tired dearest; can I take you up on your offer to watch some television now?'

Erik searched the pale face below him where tell tale marks of strain and exhaustion were clearly imprinted. From experience, he knew this was the very best time to press an advantage with a stubborn personality. He glanced at his watch instead. 'Yes, let's go in quickly. I don't want to miss Scully giving her partner a piece of her mind; that's the best part in the whole programme. Who would have thought? I seem to be rather fond of good looking, sharp tongued scientists of limited stature.'

Anote: X-files was an American science fiction TV series in the nineties. It chronicled the adventures of FBI agent Mulder in his relentless pursuit to prove the existence of paranormal phenomenon most especially aliens. Joining him in his investigations was the brilliant scientist, Agent Scully who was instrumental in ensuring that her partner's work was always supported by evidence and making sure Mulder didn't get himself killed in some stupid fashion. Their difference in height is similar to that of Charles and Erik and it is what caught my eye. In addition Mulder was as relentless as Erik in his mission. Or maybe I just have our lovely boys on the brain. I need help, lol!