Anote: This chapter was a hassle to write but in the end i loved how it turned out. I wanted to do something subtle for our favourite couple instead of an "in your face" shouting match. Love can be such a drama. Is it not grand? :)

Chapter 35 –Facing reality Part 1

After the overwhelming revelations of the morning, the professor was madly scribbling and correcting his papers at a lightening pace, trying to make up for the time that he had lost staring blankly at the wall. He was glad for the last minute work. It kept him from thinking and worrying about little things; like why was his life such total crap!

A light tap on the door of his university office twitched irritability in his mind, breaking the peace that he achieved. 'Professor, you have a student outside to see you.'

'Mildred, can you take a message or ask him or her to come back during office hours? I am so behind here.'

Even though the only sounds one could hear was the scratching of his pen against paper and the low hum of the internal ventilation system, his sixth sense told him that he wasn't alone. He looked up in surprise as the usually unflappable administrative assistant hung over the door, staring at him pleadingly.

'Sir please, I think you must come out. I have a feeling we may have to call security if I say that to him.'

Immediately Xavier dropped his pen and rose to his feet, 'of course.'

He took her arm with the intention of gentlemanly escorting her back to the reception desk. There had been some talk of installing a protective glass and a buzzer system to wall off the area from students but as yet it was just an idea. It wasn't something that the professor was in favor of but it seemed like only a matter of time before the faculty office would begin to resemble a bank or worse, a prison.

'Is he married?' Mildred asked excitedly as they made their way to front. The professor frowned at that inapproriate question until he looked across the waiting room. He never realized it before but Erik looked neither left nor right when he walked through a crowd as much as people hurriedly jumped out of his way. Charles commanded his rampaging hormones to be silent as the other man placed his hands on the battle scared wooden counter between them, 'I got here as soon as I could.'

The two men stared vacantly at each other each for a long moment.

'You sent me a text message,' Erik reminded him in exasperation. 'You said we need to talk.'

'That was slang Erik,' the professor groaned. 'I don't understand how you can curse like you were born here and not understand something like that!'

Automatically, the larger man glanced at the message again as if expecting that a different interpretation would jump out at him.

'What I meant was, when I saw you THIS evening, I had to tell you something,' Charles explained, 'I am sorry that you came all this way. Blimey…you are using your lunch break, aren't you?'

'Don't apologise. You are more important than that job,' he said in his usual matter-of-fact manner. 'You can tell me now whatever you were going to say later.'

As per the norm, just being in Erik's presence was enough to shift his entire mood and he felt his sprits lift. How incredibly sweet! Erik thought he was in some kind of trouble and had madly dashed across the city like a knight out of a fairytale. With a wave of his hand, he relocated them to the far end of the counter where they could have some privacy.

'Thanks. I don't even know how to say this,' Charles muttered, casting his mind back to the events of the morning in the break room. 'I was so surprised I just didn't know WHAT to think! I must be the most obtuse man on the planet. How could I NOT see this coming?'

The older man nodded his head sympathetically. He wasn't surprised that Charles was this upset as he knew the professor prided himself on having a good understanding of the people and their movements through his life.

'Let me have it,' he suggested as Xavier jiggled nervously from one leg to the next.

His eyes narrowed at this display of anxiety.

'I have a date tonight,' the small man blurted out, sounding more than shocked at the information than he should be, 'I think I said yes. I don't even remember.'

A sudden panic clawed in Erik's chest. On the night of the wedding, he had seen David lean over to kiss Charles but hadn't commented further; trusting in the professor's good sense to keep his heart from harm from that particular quarter. Had he been wrong to keep silent? Well that could be easily rectified. Erik reached over and gripped his forearm, 'If you say it's with David I am going to beat you senseless, right now!'

'David? No. Why would you say that?' he replied distractedly, 'No, it's with Hank!'

The professor clapped his hands over his eyes. 'Oh lord, I think I am going around the twist. Why did I agree to this? Why?'

Over on his side of the counter, the older man looked like if he had been hit in the face with a frying pan.

'You see that face you are making at me now Erik? That was me exactly, about two hours ago!' he yelped, becoming increasingly agitated as no helpful advice appeared to be materializing.

Erik gave himself a little shake to break out of his shocked stupor, 'Sorry. I was just surprised. I didn't know you liked Hank? When did that happen?'

'It didn't! He's a good friend and my best mate here at the university!' the academic spluttered out, 'He caught me completely off guard with this!'

Erik shrugged. 'I am still not seeing the problem here. It's a date Xavier, not a marriage proposal.'

Now it was Charles' turn to be once again paralysed by surprise. In the space of a few seconds his brain had already worked out several permutations of what Erik had unknowingly revealed in his last couple of words.

'So you think I should go?'

'I can't see why not. You could do worse. McCoy is a good guy, steady and reliable and…' his voice trailed off as the man infront of him turned pale. It was suddenly obvious to him that the two of them were no longer on the same page. 'Charles?'

Erik massaged the back of his neck to relieve a peculiar tightness in his muscles as he waited for the man infront of him to speak.

'I was going to call him back and tell him no,' Xavier said quietly, 'Would you really be alright with this, Erik?'

To be honest, Erik wasn't sure how he felt but he didn't wasn't to be putting false hope into Charles' head by saying that aloud.

'If you don't want to go with him, then don't,' he advised instead, reaching over to trail one finger down his friend's cold cheek. 'But don't let me be the reason.'

Erik could see indecision and doubt in the man's eyes and was quite touched at the concern he saw on the man's features. He didn't really expect Charles to put his entire life on hold because he was living with him but the Englishman seemed to be willing and prepared to do just that.

'Is it a movie or a concert or something?' he inquired. Knowing the two of them as well as he did, it was probably some mind numbingly dull lecture in Biochemistry, guaranteed to put you in a coma within thirty seconds.

'Shakespeare in the park and then dinner,' Charles answered, his voice so soft that the tall man had to lean forward to catch it.

Shakespeare! Hank was pulling out all the stops and overnight it would appear that he had grown an actual spine. Erik was suitably impressed.

He leaned over for a slip of scrap paper from the basket and scribbled some instructions. 'Here, go straight to the barber this evening and give him this. I will take a cab home and help you with something to wear.'

The older man pocketed the pen and grabbed his neck again. Christ! Where did this pain suddenly come from? 'You don't want to be one of those people who always complain about being single but never do anything about it, do you?'

As Charles picked up the paper and stared down at it as if it was written in Greek, Erik sneaked a quick peek at his watch. He could catch the shuttle back into town if he left right now.

'I could never give you up so easily to another man,' the Englishman said calmly, his voice steady and sure.

The larger man kept his eyes fixed on his watch. He would not allow Charles to bait him into this useless argument again. 'I know you wouldn't.'

He could feel Charles looking at him, staring with his unusual blue eyes, skewing him right in the gut as he struggled to maintain his composure. For the most part Erik felt as though he was in control of the direction of their friendship but there were moments like now, when he really questioned if the professor hadn't been humoring him all along. Erik was usually much better than this at convincing others to see his point of view, using his charisma and presence to smother any opposition but Xavier was as stubborn as they came. However as Charles had smugly put it to him one afternoon, he wasn't stubborn; it was because Erik's heart was not really into winning this particular argument. Well that just showed how little the professor really understood him!

'ERIK!' the Englishman yelled out in concern as the older man nastily clipped his shoulder on a concrete pillar, when he turned around to leave.

'I am fine,' he insisted, cradling his stinging arm while the other man gawked at his uncharacteristic clumsiness, 'I didn't see that post there. I will see you later, alright?'

'Hang on; let me give you a lift back into town.'

He was surprised when Erik hastily held out his hand to stop him before walking away.

For the rest of the day the older man's manner and final gesture stayed in Charles' thoughts, even as he stared at his reflection in the mirror, fixing his tie for his evening out with Henry. Was that how it was going to happen in the end? Was Erik just going to put up his hand and then walk away? Was he going to LET Erik walk away? How could he stop him? The professor pressed the heels of his hands against his face and rubbed at his eyes as if the act could erase the image of Erik leaving from off his eyeballs.

'Come in,' he called as a gentle knock came from the door.

He returned Jean's smile a little feebly as she started in surprise.

'Charles you look…!'

Words failed her and she settled for waving her hands around.

'Thanks. All Erik's handiwork, I assure you. I would just walk out the house without even brushing my hair if it was left up to me.'

By this time she had reached his side and placed a comforting arm around his shoulders. The compassion and worry in her eyes almost pushed him over the edge and he realized now how fragile this whole situation had made him. It was clear from the way Erik couldn't look him in the face for the entire evening, that he was beginning to have a change of heart and didn't want him to go. However, Charles felt there no point in staying home if the other man couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. Besides which, he was beyond tired of trying to be patient with Erik and his moods. While he couldn't say for sure if Erik's big, bad secret was what was keeping them apart, at this point he didn't see what else they had to lose! Short of him murdering anyone, Charles felt reasonable certain he could handle anything the other man had to throw at him but the way the older man continued to treat him like an immature teenager was infuriating! It would be a relief to just get out of each other's head space for a bit.

'I've come to collect Erik for the night' she said quietly. When Logan had called to let her know that he had given the staff the night off because the professor was going on a date and that he and Erik were wondering if she would please-please cook them dinner, she really thought her on-again-off-again boyfriend was hallucinating.

The professor pointed towards his walk in closet. 'He has a headache, so he is not talking much tonight.'

Too bad, because Jean had every intention of giving him a piece of her mind! What the hell was going on here? First the mysterious appearance of Charles' ex- the other night and now this!

'Charles,' she whispered. 'I don't understand. Did you and Erik have a fight? This isn't the way to solve anything.'

He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he grabbed his coat that was hanging off the back of a chair. 'Better to ask him. Most times I know how his mind works but tonight, it's anyone's guess.'

There was a cold, desperate edge to her friend's voice that she didn't like and she stared worriedly at the doorway that he had vanished though.

Finally she wandered over to the closet area where she squatted on the floor to be eyelevel with Erik who was on his knees. The man was busy refolding the professor's clothes from the pile dumped on the ground and she silently observed as he expertly folded the garments, absently speculating if he had ever been employed in a store.

'It's a good thing the professor has a photographic memory or else he would never find anything in this heap!' the older man complained genially. He was keeping his features carefully neutral. He had heard Charles' words and he had no doubt that he was the 'him' being refered to.

'He's gone,' she announced. If she hadn't been looking for it she would have missed the fumble in his actions and the slight tremor in his slender fingers.

'Strange that he didn't say goodbye,' he murmured with a small shrug as he rose to his feet with his completed stack of sweaters.

As he piled them in the correct space he could feel her cold, judgmental stare on the back of his neck.

'WHAT?' he snapped out spinning around to face her, 'just say whatever you have to say!'

'I just want to know what is going on,' she replied quietly.

'What is going on?' he repeated sneeringly, loudly slamming the drawer shut, 'What is going on is that I am trying to do the right thing by Charles and everyone is giving me grief! You don't know me Jean. You don't know what I am like really. McCoy…'

She patted him sympathetically on the arm as he choked on the name.

And in a much quieter voice he finally added, 'I have been thinking about it all day and Hank or someone like Hank would be a better long term fit for Charles. Trust me. I can't stand in his way and not at least let Xavier see this for himself.'

Erik was a new friend and although Jean didn't know him as well as she knew Logan or Charles for that matter, she knew that only a man who cared deeply could make such a hard decision.

'Did you discuss this with Charles?'

'We haven't really talked much this evening,' he mumbled in a hollow sort of voice.

Jean really didn't know what else to say as the tall man slumped against a cupboard door like a modern day Atlas carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was easy to be shooting of advice when you yourself were not living in the midst of all the pain and doubt. As it was, she almost collapsed under his weight when he unexpectedly turned and folded her into his arms in his blind distress.

'I think your heart is in the right place,' she cautiously commented as she patted his back, 'but in the future I fear you are going to reflect on your conduct tonight and realize it was a mistake.'