More deadlines loom. Short chapters for awhile now.

Chapter 38 Facing reality part4

Charles' whole being felt crushed with disappointment as he opened his eyes and gradually surveyed the empty space beside him. Absently, he reached out to trace his fingers in the ice-cold, Erik shaped, depression on the pillow opposite and with a little groan, he stretched out his body, resolving to roll over and go look for him. Who knows what mischief the older man may have gotten himself into? However, for a moment longer he pulled the covers snuggly around him and closed his eyes, allowing the incredible memories of last night to wash over him. He knew he must have a huge stupid grin on his face, but he didn't care!

'Do I want to know what that smile is all about?' Erik asked quietly.

Startled the professor turned over. Even though the other man was fully dressed for work, words could not describe how happy he was to see him in the armchair opposite.

'Erik! You stayed!' he exclaimed joyfully reaching out one hand towards him.

The other man eagerly took the small hand in his, starting to feel a little calmer. It didn't look as though the professor was angry at all.

'You look glad to see me but if you will be giving me the cold shoulder today, I would rather know about it now,' Erik blurted out in a most untactful manner. He was too stressed out to wait until the professor got around to yelling at him.

'What are you talking about, my dear?'

'You are not….you are not upset about last night?' he mumbled disconsolately, 'I should have asked…I know I should have!'

Charles scrubbed at his face, still trying to wake up. 'Can I have some tea?'

The older man shook his head in disgust. Why couldn't he do anything right?

He turned towards the breakfast tray at his elbow which he had specially ordered to be brought up for Charles. As the small man leaned over to receive his cup, he took the opportunity to press a gentle kiss on Erik's forehead.

'I had a wonderful time last night. If you were doing something I didn't like, I would have told you then and there,' the young man reassured him firmly. 'Please don't fret like this.'

Erik was speechless and he squeezed the small palm as a way of showing his appreciation. God what was wrong with him?! His emotions were all over the map!

'I am embarrassed that I fell asleep on you though,' the academic added with a small smile as he sipped his tea, 'please wake me up if that happens again.'

The other man just nodded his head dumbly still not trusting himself to speak. Did Charles just imply that he was hoping for a repeat performance?!

The professor leaned against the headboards of the bed appraising the man next to him. No one had a right to look so damned attractive first thing in the morning!

Morning? Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

'Erik! The time!?' he yelled out in fright, frantically searching around the room for a pair of pants.

Anticipating this reaction, the other man laid a heavy immobilizing hand on Charles' thigh.

'Calmly, little one,' he instructed, 'I have already called your Head of Department and let him know you had a migraine this morning. He has assured me that he will find someone to cover your morning tutorial but you are to call him if you can't make your evening class.'

The professor groaned in relief. A migraine? Oh lord! Well it was a good excuse; an illness that could come and go without warning and be crippling enough to put someone down for a few hours.

'McCoy has already called you about five…no six times,' he added handing over his cell phone. 'I had to put it on silent.'

'Oh dear…did you talk to him?

'I thought you wanted to do it,' he replied as he watched the man scroll through his messages. 'Do you know what you are going to say?'

The professor heaved a deep sigh, 'The truth, of course. I am going to say that you and I have decided to give it a go.'

He reached out and squeezed Charles' shoulder supportively. Even though the young man didn't look worried, the Englishman could very well lose a close friend today because of this decision.

Erik raised a disbelieving eyebrow as the professor tossed away the phone before scooting over on the bed and patting the now vacant space beside him. The welcoming smile on Charles' face made the tight knot he still had in his chest unravel and suddenly it would seem that everything started to click back into its proper place. It was clear that no matter what, the professor was happy with the choice he had made.

'Ten minutes Charles,' he said warningly, pointing a raised index finger in his direction, 'and don't kiss me. I am already late.'

Kicking of his shoes, he slipped under the covers that the professor held out for him, smiling appreciatively as the small man cuddled up tightly under his arm.

'Can't I convince you to stay for a while longer?' he wanted to know.

'No, you cannot,' he answered, slowly stroking Charles' hair. ' I only stayed because I wanted to talk to you before I went to work. Make sure things were alright between us.'

Erik barely heard the soft disappointed sigh. 'I would PREFER to stay with you of course, but I don't think my manager would appreciate that. I don't want to square off with her again.'

'I didn't know you were having problems at work. Why didn't you tell me?'

'It's not a problem per say. I think our personalities just rub each other the wrong way but I appreciate your concern.'

The heavy stillness in Charles' body and the slur in his voice were sure indications that the man was half way to falling asleep again. Erik felt extremely pleased that one, Charles no longer seemed disturbed to be naked in his presence and two, that he felt comfortable enough in said state of undress to fall asleep.

'You really sleep like the dead, Xavier,' he remarked pressing a soft kiss to his bare shoulder, 'I tripped over a chair last night and you didn't even twitch.'

'You should have woken me up,' he insisted with a gigantic yawn, 'I didn't even get a chance to reciprocate.'

Hastily Erik caught the curious little fingers that were playing with his belt, bringing them to his lips for another kiss. 'That's alright. I took care of myself.'

'YOU DID WHAT!?' the professor yelled out, as he unexpectedly bolted upright in the bed.

The older man quickly caught the sheet that almost slipped off, swiftly wrapping it around the other so that all his tempting bits were covered. In the meantime, he listened with half an ear as Charles ranted and raved about what he done.

'Do you have a philosophical objection to masturbation?' he inquired when the small man paused to take a breath.

'No!' he choked out with a most becoming flush colouring his neck. 'What I am trying to say is you DON'T have to do that because you have me now. It's so….depressing and …lonely. You can call me if you have a need!'

Charles didn't understand why Erik looked so puzzled and skeptical.

'I don't know what to say. It doesn't bother me,' the older man confessed warily.

The professor reached over to snatch a napkin from off the breakfast tray, 'Well it bothers me!'

Using his chest as a table and the pen from his pocket, Erik looked on curiously as the young man furiously scribbled a note. He tilted his head to see but could only make out a few words. Finally the professor offered it to him and wordlessly he read the contents.

"I, Charles Xavier, promise the holder of this note, one thrilling night of oral sex on the proviso that he stops masturbating."

The young man chewed nervously on his lip as Erik impassively read the note several times before folding into a small square and tucking it into a zippered compartment of his wallet. He need not have worried as the older man reached up to pull him gently into his arms again.

'If I do this for you Charles, will you do something for me?'

'Yes.'

'Thank you for this homemade gift card, by the way. You seemed so reserved at times that it surprises me to the depths of my soul when I realize that you are into some really kinky shit.'

The small man began to cough in earnest at such a risqué description of himself and he cringed at the evil smile on the other man's face.

'I don't know what you mean, Erik!'

He flinched as the older man tapped him on the nose with the edge of his wallet, 'oh you know; this note for instance. And then what happened last night. Do you make it a habit of starting the night with one man and finishing it with another?!'

Erik flung up his hands to protect his face; laughing uncontrollably at his lover's outraged reaction.

'That was NOT what happened and you know it!' the small man yelled out furiously as he hit him repeatedly with a pillow, 'Stop laughing! That was NOT funny! Sometimes I don't even know WHY I like you!'

Still breaking out in sporadic chuckles, he leaned over the professor who had angrily turned over to face the opposite wall.

'You can leave now Erik,' he insisted, imperiously pointing at the doorway with one finger.

The larger man ignored this directive and pulled him closer, tucking him into his side.

'Besides I went out with Henry last night,' Charles mumbled in anguished protest, 'and you I were together this morning.

Erik sighed. 'I am sorry. I couldn't help my self. It wasn't a good joke.'

He kissed a soft path in the crook of the professor's neck and down his spine as way of apology.

'Your good opinion matters to me Erik,' he whispered fretfully.

Erik squeezed him so tightly that he stopped breathing, 'and that you have already my friend. Do not doubt me on this! It was a comment in extremely poor taste; a reflection on my own deficient character rather than on yours.'

Slowly Charles rolled over in his arms to meet his eyes, 'well, it's a relief that you are back to your normal self!'

'Ha ha,' Erik interjected in amused sarcasm, as he settled his body more comfortably over the man below him.

With another little yawn, the professor then reached up to casually drape his arms around Erik's neck, 'what is this thing you want me to do for you today?'

'I have put some apricot jam and an extra croissant on your breakfast tray.'

Charles scrunched his face unhappily, 'Good lord! Whatever for?! I could never eat all of that!'

'Well you will this morning!' Erik insisted firmly, 'Charles, you are severely underweight. My god, you are an adult male; I shouldn't be able to pick you up so easily!'

The older man scowled as the professor started to fidget and avert his eyes in apparent embarrassment.

'This has nothing to do with your looks Xavier!' he snapped impatiently, 'this has to do with your health. A doctor is going to have to stand infront of me and convince me that you being this weight is normal, and even then I won't believe it!'

'I've always been this way,' the small man groaned miserably; intensely uncomfortable that the other man was worrying about him like this.

'That's nice, but you will put on five more pounds this month,' Erik reassured him conversationally. Xavier….Charles, my little one… please, please do it for me. When I take you in my arms, it frightens me.'

As the older man anxiously pressed his forehead against his, the professor closed his eyes willing himself not to start crying again. Why couldn't Erik say I love you like a normal person?

'You're just trying to fatten me up like the wicked witch in Hansel and Gretel,' Charles whispered brokenly into his ear.

'Maybe I am. But even so, you looked incredibly beautiful last night, with the firelight all over your body,' Erik whispered back against the heat of this skin.

The large man cradled the professor's face in his hands and kissed away the tears that were spilling down his flushed cheeks. God Almighty, what were they doing to each other?! This was madness!

'Erik…I wish…'

'Eat your croissants,' the older man interrupted, kissing him almost brutally on the mouth before running out of the room as if the very hounds of hell were at his heels.

He knew what Charles wished. Sometimes he wished that things could be different too.