A/N: Sorry for the late update, my computer died when I spilled diet coke on the keyboard. Luckly my hard drive wasn't destroyed... Also, thank you to everyone who has left reviews! I appreciate the feedback!
Nash found Murphy quickly. The girl was in a bar with a pink fishbowl drink, surrounded by Asari. She was lit. She drooped on the shoulder of the Asari to her left, and she was smiling like an idiot.
Nash walked to the booth. "Murphy, you're about to get Shanghaied. Unless you want to be trapped in a science lab on Noveria for the next five years, I suggest you leave these harpies to their drinks." The engineer looked up in blurry confusion, while the four Asari looked up in anger.
The most well dressed Asari spoke. Nash shuddered at the exposed swath of blue cleavage. Fashions may change, but the Asari refused to wear anything that wasn't tight, bright, and booby. "I believe you will find nothing illegal has occurred here."
"I wasn't implying that it had. Murphy, did you sign anything?"
"Captain! Captain, my new friends wanted to hear all about that dark matter engine prototype I told you about. Aren't they nice? You should have a drink. On me. Everyone should! Another round please, barkeep!"
Nash had enough. She stuck her hand through her belt loop, moving her duster enough to flash her revolver. "Did she sign your damn indentured servitude slave papers, you blue harlot? "
"Not yet." The Asari looked like Nash had just deprived her of a prize-winning varren. "The amount she owes for all the drinks she's been buying is quite large. She has treated the whole bar three times already. She will probably have to sign so we can pay for her in exchange."
"Well isn't it sure nice you decided to pick up her tab. Now go away before I get any more angry."
Nash had to carry Murphy back to the ship, but felt somewhat happier after making good on her earlier promise. Tossing the engineer into the cargo hold ass-first was hugely satisfying.
"Tiny, we're all aboard. Please get me off this polished piece of shit the Asari are passing as a planet."
"No can do, captain. I think the heat caught up... We've got enough AA cannons lined on our position that even the cockroaches that live in the hold will get toasted if I try and leave."
"Of course there are. Thank you, Murphy's Law. I'm going to get a drink. Send him along to me when he comes."
"Who are we expecting?"
"Just send him, Tiny."
Man could build new mass relays and colonize the distant stars. Man could create works of art so enigmatic that they are reflected upon centuries later. But mankind would never surpass what Nash believed to be its greatest accomplishment: distilling fine Irish whiskey.
Nash did not know if she was Irish, despite her red hair, but she imagined her forefathers looking on with pride from heaven as she uncorked her second bottle. She imagined they were drinking with her; if there was no whiskey in heaven, who would bother staying?
She was lucky this bar, the closest thing to a dive on Illium, carried such fine booze. It was beautifully grimy and empty. The bar top had obviously not been wiped down in weeks. Nash sat in a corner booth, her back to a wall and her eyes on the entrance. As she sipped the bottle, the whiskey melted into her tongue and warmed her stomach.
The glass fell onto the floor somehow. Nash expected it had jumped off. But glasses don't have legs usually…
"Shepard." Kaidan had arrived. Nash stood up and realized she was utterly drunk. She sat back down.
"Not Shepard, remember? She's too busy being space Jesus, fighting Reapers with hugs. And candy."
"Are you drunk?" His silver eyebrows came together when he frowned. It was distracting.
"Not enough. Want some?" She held out the bottle, then cradled it. "Get your own glass, this one's mine."
"I need answers. Where have you been for 25 years? Or did you die, and get resurrected again?"
"I didn't die, Shepard did. Sort of. See, the catalyst was a huge liar. He said I would die too. But then I didn't, and the Geth and EDI did anyway and then Joker killed himself and…" She broke off and swigged from the bottle.
"So you're saying you didn't die when the catalyst fired?"
"No. I went comatose for a while, then when I woke up Shepard was becoming a canonized saint of the Council. So I got a new name. I was going to contact you but then you married BATTLETITS." This bottle was almost empty too. The bottles were always empty, it seemed. She smiled. This could be a new philosophy- the empty bottles of life.
Dimly Nash wondered if she should get scotch next. Maybe Kaidan would have some.
Oh right, Kaidan. He sat with his head down on the table. "I'm so, so sorry Shepard. I should have waited longer. But you were dead."
"Allers, Kaidan. Out of everyone? Liara I could have undershtood. I still would have wanted to tear her eyesh out with my fingernails…." Nash felt sleepy all of a sudden. She yawned. "Ima take a quick nap. See you booboo."
Kaidan watched as her head dropped onto the table. She still managed a deathgrip on the empty bottle of whiskey.
Asleep she looked softer. Her semi-permanent frown disappeared, smoothing away into slackness. She had aged, but remarkably well considering her difficult life. Kaidan found it much preferable to the zombie youth face Allers had bought after their divorce.
Shepard made a noise like a faulty engine. Kaidan laughed. She hadn't used to snore…