Chapter 14

We prepared to leave the next morning and Beorn told the dwarves of Mirkwood. I was raised there so I knew what dwelled within the trees. He provided the dwarves with ponies and Gandalf and myself with horses. He had us promise to send them back to him once we arrived at the Forest Gate. There were no songs or laughter as we traveled to the forest. I myself felt a sense of unease as we arrived. There something different about the place I once called home. And the name was not always Mirkwood. It was once called Greenwood the Great.

"Here is where we must separate for a time. For I have most pressing business away towards the South." Gandalf said.

The dwarves and Bilbo begged him not to go. I was curious as to what he was up to. The only thing a wizard could possibly have business in South for was Dol Guldur, and it had long been abandoned. Gandalf looked at me and I knew he had guessed what I thought for he gave me the most subtle nod. I nodded back and then he looked to the dwarves.

"Come now we had this settled before we even landed upon the Carrock. And I am sending Mr. Baggins with you and Tawariell. She was raised here in these woods. You shall all be quite safe." assuring the wizard.

"What of your horse then? You did not mention sending it back. What of your promise?" Thorin inquired.

"I am not sending it back. I am riding it."

Then we truly knew Gandalf was going to leave us. He rode off as we sent off the horse and ponies. Then we turned and walked through the Forest Gate.

The forest had indeed changed in the 20 years I had not seen it. It seemed as though a shadow had tainted it. It must have been why Gandalf had gone to Dol Guldur.

"This cannot be the place where you were raised. Can it lass?" Gloin asked.

"It is. Though it is nothing like I remember. Something dark had tainted these woods. I cannot say what it is." I said.

I failed to mask the sadness and pain in my voice. Someone touched my hand and as I looked down I found it to be Bilbo. He smiled at me.

"Perhaps there are still parts where the shadow has not tainted it." He suggested.

I gave him a small smile and nodded. Bilbo was always able to reassure me and I would always be grateful for that. As we went deeper into the forest I began to notice the rotten mushrooms and decaying bark of the trees. It tore me apart inside, yet I would not let this distract me. For if as I assumed, the trees and mushrooms and plants were decaying, there must have been some sort of dark creatures that came with the shadow. There were tracks that only strengthened my suspicion.

It was at night that was worst. It was pitch black! You could not see even an inch in front of you. I did not fear the dark, nor did I fear the sounds of the creatures that dwelled within it. I feared for the safety of my friends. Especially Thorin. I could not lose any of them. We all slept huddled together and when my watch came someone sat down beside me.

"DO you fear this place?"

It was Fili.

"That I do not. I do not fear anything about this place. Should you not be resting?" I asked.

"Far be it from me to find rest in this place."

I smiled and nodded.

"My uncle cares about you."

How many times shall they tell me this?!

"So I have heard and seen with my own eyes and ears." I replied.

"You do not share his feelings?"

I knew I could not risk telling Fili the truth, for Thorin may yet be awake.

"Not the same he has for me. I care for him, I care for all of you, but I cannot give him the feelings he seeks."

"Why? If I may ask."

I sighed.

"I…I do not feel such feelings." I lied.

Fili was silent. I knew not of he knew I was lying or if he believed me.

"That is a sad thing to hear Tawariell. I hope that perhaps someone will change you."

"And when you speak of someone you speak of Thorin." I stated.

I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Perhaps. I will however relieve you of your watch."

I agreed to that. I curled up and fell fast asleep. It would appear as though my dreams were affected by this unknown darkness. It was raining and there were bodies of both orcs and men and elves, and even some dwarves. However I found myself screaming and running towards Thorin.

"THORIN! NO PLEASE NO!" I cried.

He lying on the ground bleeding. I dropped down beside him with tears falling down my face. He smiled weakly and touched my face.

"Tawariell…I am sorry. You have to let me go. Know that I always loved you. Farewell." He whispered.

His eyes closed and his hand fell from my face. I cried out in pain and then felt myself being shaken awake.

"Tawariell! Tawariell wake up!"

My eyes flew open and I found Kili shaking me. The dwarves and Bilbo were gather around and looking at me in fear and worry. I sat up and took a few deep breaths.

"You alright lass? You gave us a good scare." Balin commented.

I ran my hand over my face and nodded.

"I am quite alright. I apologize."

"Though something must have been killing you! The way you were screaming." Bombur said.

My eyes widened. I slowly looked at Thorin. His expression was unreadable. I quickly looked down highly embarrassed.

"I…..I spoke?" I asked.

"Aye you did. Screaming for Thorin here. He woke first." Bifur said.

"I…..it was a horrible dream. There were bodies everywhere as though there had been some sort of battle. It was raining and the bodies were that of elves, men, orcs and dwarves. Thorin was among them…he was dying." I explained.

I looked up and we all looked at Thorin. He looked more concerned for me then himself, and this worried me.

"What words were said?" He asked.

I could not tell him the truth.

"I told you to hold on and that I would find Gandalf…but…you….."

"I passed on." he finished.

I nodded and looked away from him once more.

"Well I reckon it is only this place that is causing her dreams. For Thorin is indeed a mighty warrior. And he has you and the rest of us. I do not believe he shall be dying anytime soon." Balin said in a comforting tone.

I looked up and smiled at him.

"Of course. I am sorry I brought it up. Come! Let us continue." I said.

To this they all agreed and we moved on. As we did Thorin looked at me and I knew that he knew I had not told him the truth. Though he did not question me on it, and for this I was grateful.