Morning arrived finding Sam deep in thought as he absentmindedly traced his fingers down his partner's exposed arm. Last night, she had asked him to stay with her. Little did she know that there was nothing that Sam wouldn't try to give to her, so, against his better judgment, he had curled up in bed beside her and held her. Sam didn't know it at the time that he acquiesced to her nearly pleading request, but he needed to hold her as much as she needed to be held.

The tears started just as he had gotten comfortable securing her back to his chest and pulling her closer with his arm. At first there were no initial signs of the tears that had fallen from her eyes except the wetness of the pillow near his hand. Sam pulled himself closer to her, allowing his body to mold against her curled form just as the sobs began to wrack her body.

He had repeated the phrases "It's going to be okay" and "I'm here, we'll get through this" with such a reverence, he prayed that she took his words to heart. At some point, Andy had flipped so that she could face him and cling to him for support. Sam knew that she needed to get all of this emotion out before it ate her alive. Knowing that words wouldn't be sufficient, he simply held her, not caring that his shirt was soaked to his skin from her tears or that her face was puffy from crying, he was simply grateful that he was what she needed right now.

Now in the early light of morning, he prayed that it was his presence that she wanted and not merely tolerated in the absence of someone else. Andy had apologized several times throughout the night for her tears and being so needy, but when he asked her if he should go, give her space, she vehemently shook her head and told him she wanted him with her. Sam desperately wanted to take that as a sign, but he just couldn't force the words from his mouth. He was still terrified of her rejection or worse that she would say yes in a moment of weakness and fear.

Emotions were running at an all time high for Sam at the moment, but the one thing he knew he couldn't do was get some space to try and give himself perspective. Andy needed him to be there for her right now. He wasn't completely sure how it happened, but Sam knew that Andy looked to him for guidance in situations that she'd never been in before. While normally that made pride swell in his chest that she trusted and valued his opinion so much, right now it made him feel hollow. When his ops had gone bad, someone got hurt, but being emotional about it was never an issue, and the victims were never innocent. The only thing that Sam Swarek knew now was that he'd never been here before, but he was going to be by his partner's side until she got through this, whether she wanted him there or not.

Sam felt an almost imperceptible shift in her breathing and knew from the deep breath she took that she was waking up. For a moment his hands stilled as they rubbed up and down her arms, but then began the familiar comforting pattern again. Andy's initial movements and stretching seemed to stop immediately as she realized where she was.

"It wasn't a dream then," her hoarse voice asked causing him to momentarily still his hands again.

"No," he responding hesitating a bit before continuing to rub her arms that had felt chilly to him. When she remained silent, Sam knew that she had begun to over think the situation. He felt his heart break again for her pain.

"Maggie wanted to run the errands yesterday, she said I should enjoy some quiet time," her voice shook as she talked. There was a slight gasp for breath as she continued, "She said that I looked tried and worried and could use the time for myself."

Without really thinking, Sam pulled her a bit closer to him. This situation was completely foreign to him. Sure he'd like some of the people that he'd worked with while he was undercover, maybe cared a bit about them, Emily came to mind, but he'd never cared quite like this. He knew that his partner was sensitive, just like he knew that she would carry the weight of the world on her shoulders and not complain if it made things easier for those around her. The woman he'd some to know over the last two years was fierce, heroic even, and the epitome of strength for all the shitty hands she'd been dealt in life. Seeing her breaking down like this both terrified him and sparked all of his protective instincts into over drive in equal measure.

"It's my fault Sam," she said gasping for air trying to pull away. "I was too preoccupied trying to get a meet with Boyd." She hiccuped a bit and spoke so quickly that he nearly missed it. "It should have been me. I should have di-"

Hearing the words of blame and guilt tumble out her mouth frightened Sam to depth he hadn't quite thought possible. When she tried to articulate her belief that she should have died instead of Maggie, he thought he would loose his mind.

In motion so quick neither had time to fully register, Sam propped himself up on his elbow and tugged her towards him so that she was almost directly under him. He supported himself on his arms so that he didn't crush her as he looked down at her broken features. "Don't."

Andy looked up at him in a bit of momentary shock. She heard the warning in his voice as his features showed his concern despite his attempt to maintain a calm demeanor. "Sam, it's true."

Sam shook his head violently and felt him bend his elbows to lower himself a bit to her. He met her eyes with a steely determination that she rarely saw directed fully on her. His expression was thunderous and she'd seen it a few times in the past, but she usually was the sole focus of that glare. It made her want to squirm.

"Don't you ever say it should have been you," he voice was low and slightly harsh, but his eyes betrayed his concern. "You aren't aloud to check out on me or blame yourself. It was never supposed to be you that died today."

"Sam," her voice cracked again as she took in his face. Andy couldn't bring herself to look away from the intensity of his eyes despite the tears is was threatening to bring out again.

"Enough," he said gruffly. "It wasn't supposed to be you. It could never have been you."

Andy let out a small gasp at his words trying to decipher his meaning when there was a knock at the door. Instinctively, they both knew it was Boyd, but he had uncharacteristically remained on the other side of the door and not barged in.

Sam finally broke eye contact with Andy swearing softly under his breath as he moved away from her. Even as she watched him cross the room, Andy missed his closeness, yet she was slightly grateful for the distance. It gave her time to think without his closeness clouding her mind.

oOoOoOo

"Just make sure that it's done, we can't have this coming back to bite us in the ass. This op is too important." Boyd paced through the living room and glanced at the clock. It was almost 10:00am and still Swarek and McNally hadn't stirred from the bedroom. Boyd was getting frustrated, he needed Sammy's head in the game, and he needed McNally to finish her job. The accident, while unfortunate, could blow his entire case wide open and give him the opportunity to take down Brennan.

Instead of preparing his UC op for the final stages of her role, Boyd was on the phone dealing with an ambitious officer out of the 27th division. He almost wanted to strangle her. His temper was barely being contained.

Nearing the bedroom door, Boyd paused for a moment before knocking firmly on the door. He didn't hear any noises coming from the room, but he wasn't about to go in for all the tea in China. Boyd wasn't sure what he would see if he opened that door, but he sure as hell hoped that this incident hadn't pushed Swarek into finally sleeping with McNally because he had a feeling that the girl would be completely useless to the mission after that. He did however hope that it happened soon so that Swarek could get her out of his system.

Turning to go, Boyd smirked to himself not hearing the words of the officer chatting his ear off in hushed tones. McNally had fire in her, and while he wouldn't forget what it was like to have her close by or her lips pressed against his, he was confident that Sam's curiosity would be satisfied and they'd be able to move him in his position quickly. Let her go back to Diaz until things settled down.

Catching the last little bit of the threat that the officer hurled at him, Boyd allowed his voice to drip with venom. "Bury that goddamn report or you'll work desk until you decide to quit," he paused listening to the response. "You want to make detective sweet heart, you need to take one for the team."

Getting the answer he wanted, Boyd smiled and clicked his phone shut just as Sam closed the door to the bedroom. Boyd surveyed his colleague's appearance and decided that he couldn't make heads or tails of what had transgressed between the partners other than the fact that Sam looked even more brooding than usual.

"How's McNally doing," Boyd asked cautiously. He watched as Sam scrubbed his face with his hands before sitting down on the chair in the living area and lean forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Blaming herself and trying to convince the world that she's fine," he answered flatly.

"She needs to be ready to go back in," Boyd spoke up again. "This could be the catalyst to the entire take down."

Sam's head snapped in Boyd's direction as his eyes narrowed. Despite speaking evenly, his clenched fists on his knees were a pretty good indicator that he was getting upset with Boyd. "This op is dead end. Putting her back there puts her at unnecessary risk."

"She's done well so far Sammy," Boyd contended. "She's surpassed everyone of my expectations. Brennan likes her. She's familiar to him, closer than some of his long time employees. Maybe in the aftermath he'll turn to her for-"

"You're not putting her in that situation," Sam nearly roared standing up to his full height. "She's not a valentine op, she's not going to conveniently fall into Brennan's bed to comfort him for the sake of this op. That's not how McNally works! That's not how this department works!"

Immediately, Boyd could see that he had approached this conversation from the completely wrong angle. Swarek would never allow McNally to seduce Brennan despite the potential for her to move into a deep cover operation that could make her entire career. He was her protector and as much as it annoyed Boyd, there was a part of him that was grateful to Swarek. Without him, Boyd knew that he would be able to find some way to manipulate McNally into seducing Brennan, but he feared that in the long run it would break her. Boyd tried to clamp down on the feeling of dismay at the thought of an emotionally broken Andy McNally.

"It was just a thought Sammy," he mumbled looking away.

"A lousy one," was the simple retort from Swarek.

"We have to send her back in Sam," Boyd said without apology. "Don't look at me like that, we both know what could happen if she doesn't go back."

Sam shook his head for a bit trying to make sense of his internal struggle. "I'm not sure we have to," he said uncertain of himself. "She could just fade away, scared. Play it that she ran back to Wisconsin because she was scared and upset."

Boyd scratched his head before shaking it firmly. His gut told him to put her back it. It was a life or death situation if they gambled on this. Brennan had an uncanny ability to tie up loose ends.

"If she doesn't go back in," he said firmly. "Brennan could smell a rat. We both know what could happen if he starts to suspect that McNally is a cop. She's on his freaking home turf, he'll find her and I'm not taking that risk. It could be months but you know he'll find her. I'm not willing to take that risk. Are you?"

Before he could answer, his partner's voice broke the tension in the room.

"He's right Sam," Andy said from the hallway. She watched as both men turned towards her with looks of disbelief. "I can't run from this, I have to go back and finish this."

Sam closed the distance between them in four quick strides. He stood in front of her effectively blocking Boyd from her line of vision. He looked searchingly at her before asking, "Are you sure McNally?"

Andy felt herself nod her head before she found her voice. "Yes."

She felt uneasy as soon as Sam nodded back at her and took a step back. "Okay," he said in a gravelly voice taking a step back to create more distance between them. "Let's get you prepped."

oOoOoOoOoO

Andy let herself into the Brennan's house using her spare key and took a tentative step into the foyer. The house had an eerie silence about it now, and where it had seemed a homey, comforting environment before, now it seemed like a tomb not meant to be disturbed. As she wondered a bit further into the house, Andy could feel her heart rate accelerating. She reached for the necklace that Sam had insisted she wear in case any thing happened. All it would take is a push of her fingers and she would have an extraction team here in two minutes. Sam and Boyd had been adamant in their reassurances that the team would be within a 1 mile radius of her throughout the remainder of the op.

She felt her stomach drop a bit as she realized the silence of the house wasn't because its occupants were out running errands, but rather that two of the occupants would never again romp through the interior of the house. A noise startled Andy and she spun to see Jamie Brennan leaning over the kitchen counter with a bottle of whiskey and a glass in his hand. She approached him cautiously, not wanting to spook him.

"Mr Brennan," she called out in a soft voice.

When he didn't turn to look at her, she tried again a bit more loudly this time. Andy watched as he straightened up and slid his eyes over her. For a moment, neither spoke. Both quietly assessing the other one unsure of what to say.

"You're back Candace," Brennan said simply.

Andy felt herself blush and looked down at her feet before bringing her eyes up to meet his again. "Should I not have come back?"

The loud clank of the glass smacking roughly against the granite counter top nearly made her jump as Brennan let out a heavy sigh. He looked over his daughter's nanny, the position was completely obsolete and unnecessary now, but this girl had become apart of his family.

"This is your home Candace," he told her. "You can stay as long as you need or want to. I don't think I'll be completely ready to run away from the memories for a while yet."

If she was asked later, Andy could even have begun to formulate a response or even a justification for the words that tumbled out her mouth next. Her only thought, even as she was saying them was that Sam would have probably throttled the life out of her if he heard her words at that moment.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Brennan," she nearly sobbed. "It's all my fault. They're gone and it's all my fault!"

Andy watched with growing anxiety and Brennan's face registered shock at her words, then contorted to anger, and then was replaced by a blank mask that terrified her. She swallowed thickly and wondered why she got herself into these situations and why she couldn't just keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"What do you mean Candace," he questioned in a voice devoid of emotion.

She hesitated a moment unsure of how to continue. The expressionless face and cold glint to his eyes told Andy that she was treading some very dangerous waters and she needed her wits about her. Blinking back the tears in her eyes or trying to at any rate, she began trying to explain.

"I should have insisted on running the expands," she said quickly, speaking so quickly her words were nearly a blurr. "I should have insisted on doing to the errands myself and let Maggie stay at home with Gracie or I should have kept Gracie. I shouldn't have been preoccupied with what's going on with Donny and whether or not he was going to call. I -"

"This wasn't your fault," he said cutting her off. When she was about to speak again, she was silenced by his stern look and the raised eyebrow that told her the subject was clearly closed.

When she would have spoken again, Brennan cut her off pushing a glass towards her and then filling it with whiskey.

"The funeral is in two days Candace," he said nonchalantly in a hollow voice. "Maggie and Gracie would've wanted you to be there."

Andy nodded absentmindedly and fingered the glass. "Wouldn't be anywhere else."

He nodded and refilled his own glass before sipping it. The pair remained quietly drinking their glasses of whiskey for until it was time to pour the next glass. Andy looked over at him not knowing if what she was going to say would upset him, but she knew from Sam's pounding it in her head that she needed to develop a believable exit strategy.

"I've called my dad," she said quietly but firmly. "He wants me to come home. Wants to make up for some of our lost time."

Brennan slid his gaze over to Andy's face and stared at her in an assessing manner. "Do you think that's wise after he pushed you out of his life?"

Andy shrugged imagining that that is what Candace would have done. She knew that she needed a way out of this situation that wouldn't give James Brennan a reason to search her out.

"After all of this," she said motioning around the room. "I want to try. People can change. I owe it to my dad and myself to find out if we can salvage our relationship."

Brennan finished his glass of whiskey before setting it down on the counter top again. "Just be careful Candace," he cautioned. "You tend to believe the best in people like Maggie. I don't want you hurt or worse."

She nodded and went back to staring off into space. Andy wasn't sure how long they sat there, or how many times he had refilled her glass, but the bottle of whiskey was soon empty.

"So back to insurance when you go home," Brennan asked with a slight slur on his speech.

Andy felt herself nodding even as her head was telling her it was a bad idea to do so. "It's a job and it's safe. All evaluating the risks and learning how to avoid them."

"Well," Brennan spoke blandly. "Don't go avoiding all the risks. That's what makes life worth living. That's how I fell in love with Maggie."

Andy nodded and watched him head upstairs. When she finally made it up to her room, Andy was grateful for the effects of the alcohol. She knew that she would have horrific nightmares tonight and this time, she wouldn't have Sam to help comfort her and lull her back into sleep.

Andy exhaled loudly and wondered why every time that something went wrong, Sam was there. The more troubling question she had was wondering why it was only Sam that could put her ease even when he didn't have a clue how to fix it. Andy fell into an uneasy sleep praying that her extraction would go off without a hitch.

OooOoOoOoO

I apologize for the huge delay in posting this chapter. I was about half way done with it, when I got some upsetting news from my doctor and it took some time to get my head on straight. I will be having surgery in a few weeks and hopefully that will come back with the news I want and the whole affair will be over and a thing of the past. My fiance has decided I need my mind taken off of it before I stress out anymore without really knowing anything, so I will be trying to soak up the sun on a vacation... but he has graciously promised me some time to write while he does some guy things.

Thanks for each of you has stuck through this story... in my plans we are only at the halfway point... but I'm thinking about wrapping it up and maybe making a part two? What do you think? Your feedback is instrumental!

Discliamer (because I haven't said it in a while) I don't own anything, just playing with some ideas in my head!

Nikka