CHAPTER 11 of "Smutty Shorts"
Title: "Sausage"
Author: Sashocirrione
Spoilers: Spoilers for roughly the first half of the series (though they are somewhat vague spoilers) plus minor spoilers for some Wammy's House background material that was revealed in the second half of the series.
Warnings: Rated T for a reason. Implied sexual activities.
Summary: Wammy's House orphans hear some odd things through a closed door.
Pairing: LxLight or possibly LightxL and a peripheral MelloxMatt or MattxMello
Additional Notes: This is a vague sort of AU that diverged from the canon storyline a few years previous to the story's start. Exactly how it diverged, and the details that led up to this fic, are both left deliberately unclear. Also, like almost every author who writes about Wammy's House, I've had to make up details since very little is known from canon.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.
It was possible to be a genius and still be very, very naive, Mello reflected. Yet he was there with all the others, participating in their foolishness, just for the sake of competition. That was all. No other motives directed him, certainly not. Most certainly not any...
Through the simple fact of audio equipment pressed against the door, sounds from within the room were transmitted to the hallway where they were all gathered.
L's voice said, "Mmmmmpfh! I love your sausage, Light!"
Near's face was impassive. It was the reaction of either an asexual, an emotional robot, or someone who simply didn't get it, and Near was probably all three rolled up into one.
One of the younger boys said, "I thought we were out of sausage? When did L and Light cook any?"
"Silly," answered a girl, "L wouldn't eat any sausage unless it was some kind of specialty gourmet sausage saturated with sugar or chocolate... maybe something like candied ham. Of course they bought their own sausage, separate from the supply used by our cooks."
Obscene slurping sounds proceeded from the audio equipment, gradually getting louder and more vigorous. Mello exchanged a glance with Matt, and saw that the usually-stoic gamer was blushing just slightly, a bit of pink dusted across the bridge of his nose.
Matt didn't stop what he was doing: hacking the electronic lock for the door. There were rewards given by L for all sorts of investigative skills, even those involving sneaky, invasive actions that inconvenienced L himself. It was something L called "hands-on training" and it had been going on ever since L had moved into the orphanage along with his... friend, a few years after the Kira case had mysteriously fizzled out.
Light said, "I admire the... firmness," muffled, as if he were talking around something in his mouth.
One of them let out a sensuous, pleasure-laden moan.
A few more people in the audience suddenly got it, from the expressions on their faces. It was still only about half who seemed to be in the know, mostly the older ones, teens nearest to Mello's age. Nobody suggested stopping. Wammy's House didn't raise orphans who were respectful or well-behaved, much to Roger's consternation. No, it was oddballs and rebels all the way. It was good because it meant being allowed to be rebellious. It was bad because it meant rubbing elbows with annoying oddballs like...
There was a series of smacks, the creak of old bed springs depressing, the sliding of cloth or perhaps pillows, and then there was a wordless cry, sounding almost painful.
"Ah, don't stop!" L said.
And then their voices were rising together, Light wordless, L falling into a rhythmic pattern of repeating, "Don't stop! Don't stop!"
Near paused in fiddling with his toy robot and his large, solemn eyes drifted upward, staring at the door.
The same boy who had earlier wondered about the sausage said, "Now they're playing video games! They've got the mute on, but it must be very exciting! They're all panting! Probably scoring lots of points!"
At the word, "scoring," nearly a dozen of those present snickered.
Matt suddenly said, "That's it then. It'll open."
Near reached out a tiny sock-clad foot to press on the door as one of the girls turned the handle.
Mello looked at Matt for some reason. Whatever they would see, the anticipation was making him feel...
The door swung open. Visible, there was only a tangle of motion under a blanket and then L and Light's heads both popped out from under that blanket.
Light's gaze looked positively murderous, but he said nothing.
"Ah, excellent work," L said, "we were doing some nude wrestling. The girls should leave."
Most of the girls left, and the last few were pushed out forcibly by boys at the back.
Near stumbled forward, only to crouch on the floor, and said in a monotone, "You are wrestling just like the Greeks at the ancient Olympics."
"That's exactly what we're doing," L said.
L's face was quite blank, his eyes like black mirrors.
"I get the reward," Matt said, "I hacked the door."
L said, "Do any others make a claim?"
Near said, "I helped at a crucial point. Without me, Matt might have possibly-"
"No way," Mello said, "Matt was about to think of that anyway. Maybe you saved him five seconds, that's all. You're not a real hacker, Near."
L said, "Do you concede, Near?"
"I deserve at least half credit."
L replied, "There is obviously only one way to solve this. Credit will be divided between Matt and Near with the largest portion going to the one who makes me the best cookies. Anyone who helps the winning side make those cookies will receive a few points. No credit or points will be handed out whatsoever unless this room remains undisturbed for..." L cast a hungry gaze at Light, "... for at least half an hour. Go!"
The room cleared out in moments. Mello ran beside Matt, towards the head of the mob. Near was being left far behind.
He exchanged a glance with his friend, panting, and considered for a few moments simply trusting that Near would flounder in the kitchen, in order to go on a little detour, to release some tension.
Mello's competitive nature rejected that rather tempting plan almost immediately. There would be time later.
A/N (Author's Note):
This mini-fic simply started circulating in my mind a few days ago, and then I had to write it down or I would have forgotten it. Fortunately, it is extremely short, so I don't think it subtracted much writing time from the various unfinished fics that I've been neglecting lately (not through any fault of my own, my life has been hectic and full of burdens the past month or two).