The Heart of a Broken Soul

Of Itches and Shakespeare

A/N:Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! Venetiangrl92, medousaki, Dahlia Rose-Marie, CupKatyCakes. You guys are awesome!

Also, I know not much is happenning yet, but it will; promise!

She was a pain in arse, Filip thought, as he watched Gabby from the corner of his eyes, reading a copy of Macbeth as though it was the most interesting thing in the entire world. Filip hated Macbeth, or anything else that Shakespeare had written, for that matter. It was just a much a pain as she was.

It had taken him a while to figure out just what kind of pain Gabby was, and when he did, he'd been embarrassed to admit to himself he'd even thought of it.

Gabby was like an itch. The kind of itch you didn't want to scratch, because you knew it would feel good at the time, but then it would go away, and probably wouldn't come back. That's what Gabby was.

Fillip wondered what she would do if she ever found out he'd compared her to an itch. She'd probably feel as stupid as he did just thinking about it.

"Um... Filip? Can I ask you something?"

There it was again. That God-damned itch. Filip took a long drag of his cigarette. "Wha'?"

Gabby seemed torn between to selves, one of them wanting to ask the question, and the other knowing better. The first self won. "Have you ever read Macbeth?"

"I fuckin' hated it."

"Oh..." Gabby opened her mouth to say something else, but thought better of it, and went back to her reading.

He did feel bad for the girl. She was nice, caring, and only wanted to help. She just... wasn't Fiona. Filip let out a heavy sigh as the face of his wife and wee babe appeared in front of him. It was all he could do to stop tears from forming.

Both of them were lost to him, all due to jealousy.

Jealousy was an ugly thing, he thought. Ugly and spiteful. And yet, he couldn't stop the jealousy that welled inside him every time Gabby smiled, because lord knows she wasn't happy, but there was still something inside her that compelled her to smile. It still bothered him, those boys who'd laughed at her when he'd accidentally pushed her to the ground those couple of weeks back. Who were they to be laughing at her?

"Why are ye reading that shite?" he asked after a while.

Gabby looked up. "Hmm? Oh, it's our next assignment. Mr Harding wants us to have it finished by next week, so we can start our analysis."

"Assignment? It's a form of torture. No one would willingly force someone else to read that bollocks unless they were sadist pricks."

Gabby smiled. Filip watched the corners of her lips as they curved upwards into a full smile. He wondered if his lips would ever do that again. "Well, Mr Harding is pretty sadistic," she offered. When she noticed Filip staring, she blushed, dropping her gaze.

Fillip had to remind himself that she was only sixteen, and that he was a married miserable sod with two ugly scars running down either side of his face, and she was a beautiful girl. Not woman, because she was only sixteen. He sighed. There was something seriously wrong with him.

"Wha's the analysis bit?" he found himself asking, because it was either talk to her, or mourn lost his lost wife and daughter. He missed them, more than he thought was possible. And he missed Ireland, with its shitty weather and... and shitty weather.

"Oh, I don't know," Gabby told him. "We don't find out until next week. That's why we have to finish the book before then."

"No shite," Filip muttered. He butted his smoke out, and stood to leave, the conversation over.

"What does 'Chibs' mean?" Gabby blurted out.

Itch. Fucking itch.

"Tig said they call you Chibs at the club, and that it's Scottish for something," she explained.

"Aye, it's Scottish," Filip confirmed. "It means, like, knife, or scar." He motioned to the healing scars on the sides of his face, even though the nickname didn't need further explanation.

Gabby considered it for a moment. "That's pretty cool, I guess," she decided. "I don't really have a nickname."

It'd be itchy, Filip thought. An itch in my arse. "Wha's Gabby short for?" he asked.

"Gabriella," she replied with a disgusted look. "I hate both of the names."

"Well, kid, can't have everything."

The next day at school passed without incident. Jeremy was – curiously – keeping his distance. "It's because he thinks your Scotsman will kill him if he says anything," Lucy assured Gabby as they walked into town.

"Yeah, sure, thanks to you," Gabby replied. "He's not my Scotsman, anyway."

"Yet. How much of Macbeth have you read?" Lucy asked. "I managed, like, one page before I gave up."

"I rather enjoyed it..." Gabby replied. It seemed she was alone in that feeling.

"'Enjoyed'?"

Gabby shrugged self-consciously. "I finished it this morning..." she admitted.

"Wow. Just... wow. I've never met someone who reads as fast as you do. It's crazy, seriously. You're like, a word freak, or something."

Gabby scowled. "Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome."

When they reached town, they headed straight for the diner, where Lucy's older sister worked as a waitress. Jocelyn was wiping down a table when they arrived. "I'll have a large thickshake, vanilla. Pronto," Lucy demanded, clapping her hands.

Jocelyn glared. "Adopted, I swear. Hey Gab."

"Hi," Gabby greeted, sliding into one of the booths.

"What can I do ya for?"

"Um... a milkshake, please? Banana?"

"One milkshake, coming right up," Jocelyn said, with a cold stare at Lucy.

"Hey! Don't forget my thickshake!" Lucy hollered. "What an ungrateful sister."

"Which one?" Gabby asked.

Lucy scowled. "Don't you start." She grabbed a napkin and started ripping it to pieces. "Did you hear about Jessica?"

"No. Should I have?" Gabby asked. Jessica and her had never really been friends. They'd talked before, greeted each other on the occasion, but that was as far as their relationship went.

"She got into an argument with Jeremy in Spanish. Got beat up behind the bleachers at lunch."

"Oh my God. Is she okay?"

Lucy nodded. She and Jessica were fairly close. "She wouldn't say who it was, but I'm not stupid. It had to have been Jeremy. Broken nose, split lip. Her mom took her up to hospital, but she's alright."

Gabby shook her head in disbelief. Jeremy had always had a violent streak; she knew as much from firsthand experience; but he was never so violent that she'd had to go to hospital before. Not to her, not to anyone. He was too smart for that.

"What were they arguing about?" Gabby asked. She hoped she wasn't next on his list of people to send to hospital. Bobby and the rest of the boys would freak out.

"You know Jessica had, like, a major crush on him, right?"

"Yeah?"

Before Lucy could reply, Jocelyn came over with their drinks. "One banana milkshake," she said, placing one of the glasses in front of Gabby. She all but dropped the other on Lucy. "And a shit flavoured sludge-pile. Enjoy!" she chirped, leaving them alone.

Gabby took a sip of hers. It was delicious, as per usual. Jocelyn always made her milkshakes so that they had just the right amount of flavouring in them. "So..?" she pressed.

"Well, apparently they were sort-of dating. You know, secretly. But Jeremy cheated on her with this other girl. That's what the argument was about. Anyway, this other girl didn't know about Jess, but after the argument, obviously she found out; broke up with Jeremy. He was pissed."

"Obviously."

Lucy nodded, sucking on her straw. "That's why he got stuck into Jess," she finished. Her gaze wandered lazily outside. Suddenly, she froze, and her eyes widened. "Oh, hello," she gushed.

Gabby followed her gaze. A young man, maybe two or three years older than them, was walking toward the diner, oblivious to Lucy's open stare. His blonde hair was sticking up at all angles, as though he'd just gotten out of bed after a rough night.

Instead of entering the diner, however, he walked straight past, much to Lucy's disappointment. "One moment," she promised, before shooting out after him.

Gabby sat patiently, wondering what Lucy was saying to the poor boy, while not really wanting to know. She finished off her milkshake, stabbing at the froth in the bottom as she waited.

Lucy reappeared moments later, grinning. She waved a piece of paper and winked. "Got his number," she sang.

Gabby's face fell flat. "What did you do to the poor boy?"

"I seduced him. His name's Cole. Cute, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Gabby agreed, shaking her head. If only it was that easy for her.

Gabby had left Lucy at the diner after it became apparent that she'd already arranged a time and place for her date. She didn't particularly want to see any of that. The kissing, the flirting. Gabby shook her head. She probably would have done well with a few lessons in 'seducing men for dummies' though...

The familiar roar of a motorbike reached her ears, and she turned to see Jax and Opie zooming toward her. When they spotted her, they slowed down. "Need a lift?" Jax yelled over the roar of his bike. Opie held a hand up in greeting.

"I wouldn't want to put you out of your way," Gabby told him.

"Ah, we're goin' that way anyhow," Jax told her with a shrug.

Gabby raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know where I'm going."

Jax just grinned, unclipping his helmet. He patted the empty seat behind him, holding out the helmet. Gabby scoffed, but grabbed the helmet and jumped on anyway. When she was properly on, and actually holding on, Jax took off, Opie in tow.

Gabby would never understand why bikes were so popular. Sure, she loved the feeling of the wind in her hair, and maybe it was just her, but every time she rode one, it felt as though she couldn't breathe, with the air whooshing past her so fast that she couldn't catch a breath. There was probably a secret technique to it that everyone had forgotten to teach Gabby.

Jax dropped her off at her house. "Thanks," she told him.

"No problem."

"Tell the old man we've got a meet tonight," Opie said.

Gabby nodded. "Okay, I will. See you later." She waved them off. Bobby was sitting at the table, drinking, when she got inside. "Opie says you've got a meet tonight."

He groaned in response.

"Where's Filip?" Gabby asked.

"Chibs? He's in his room," Bobby informed her.

Gabby still found it strange that they called him Chibs. It just made her think of babies, and their chubby cheeks, and Filip's cheeks, and Filip. She figured it best to leave him be. He didn't spend as much time in his room anymore, but he was still in there a fair bit, like an angsty teenager.

"I'll start dinner," she announced.

Bobby waved her down. "Ah, don't worry about it," he said, pulling out his wallet. "Me and Chibs'll be at the club anyway." He handed Gabby some notes. "Buy some takeout or something."

Gabby took the notes. "Thanks." She thrust them in her pocket, already trying to decide what she would buy. Pizza? Maybe some Chinese. She only rarely had takeaway, even when Bobby wasn't home; she usually put his dinner in the oven until he got back.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Filip until she collided into him. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you..."

"Aye, I noticed," Filip replied.

Gabby was suddenly aware of just how close they were. She could distinctly see how much taller than her he was. She could see the cuts on his face, scabbed over as they slowly healed. His lips, thin and soft... What did they really feel like? She wondered, as she resisted the temptation to just... touch them.

She could feel the heat creeping into her cheeks. "Have... have fun at the meet," she told him, before slipping into the bathroom. She waited until she heard footsteps before she allowed herself to relax. He's an adult, she reminded herself. An adult.

Even though she knew that, she still couldn't help thinking that, when it really came down to it, age was just a number.