Authors:Thanks for the reviews and support. This is a little short but didn't want to not update. Busy week. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: The show flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and its respective networks. I am making no money of this story and it is for entertainment purposes only. However, this particular story is my creation and should not be used without my express written permission

CHAPTER 2

3 days earlier

She admired all of her son's accomplishments and was deeply proud to hear the stories from all the people whose lives he touched tell their stories. The memorial service for her son Steve Harris was beautiful and it pretty much ended at that.

For some reason her mind fixated on the fact there wasn't a need for a casket, but then why would there be when there wasn't even anything left of Steve to bury. This was it, a service to honor the memory of her son. There would be no grave site to visit, no urn to take home. Hell, she didn't even have the option to choose if she wanted him cremated or not because all that remained of Steve Harris was reminisce of his DNA which allowed the Toronto coroner's office to confirm it was in fact Steve who was strapped to the bomb that detonated two weeks ago.

She hated the complexity of the emotions she was feeling. All she wanted was her son back. But at the same time she was livid and angry at him for leaving her and sacrificing his life for Jules Callaghan-Braddock, a woman in her opinion who even during their teenage years together never could truly appreciate the beautiful person her son was.

Now all she was left with were feelings of animosity and guilt for despising her deceased son for valuing his life less and loving Jules Callaghan-Braddock until the very end regardless is she didn't reciprocate the same feelings for him enough to sacrifice his life to save her and her unborn child.

To Jennifer Harris it was a small consolation to label her son a hero; it simply was not enough to provide her with any solace. Steve was dead and nothing would bring him back and every thought of what happened to him made her bitter as she continued to focus on the events leading to his death to the point she felt numb by them, as she sat outside one of the benches of the church after the memorial service had ended.

Today was also the day she had finally agreed to a meeting with the deceased Cindy Larson's mother, Brenda Larson who offered her condolences and gave her an alternative. She was too distraught to even smell the manipulation before it was too late to turn the clock back. All she wanted was justice for her son Steve who the SRU didn't bother saving.

How could they make Jules and her baby's life worth more than her sons just because she was Sam's wife? Steve was just as much a victim in all of this as Jules was? Jennifer Harris quietly thought feeling more and more infuriated over the situation.

Brenda Larson allowed her to relate to someone who finally understood her grief as a mother, leaving her vulnerable and an easy pawn. She wasn't exactly sure at what point Brenda convinced her of Cindy's innocence but somehow it happened and here they were both seeking revenge on Sam Braddock, Ed Lane and Jules Callaghan-Braddock.

After all how could she possibly feel nothing more than empathy for Brenda's loss over her mentally ill daughter after she was deceived by Brenda into believing the call to use lethal force on Cindy was done prematurely? Jennifer was convinced after hearing Brenda's story that had the SRU done things differently instead of making Jules safety the priority Steve may still be alive today. Even worse was the fact their sniper Ed Lane didn't even kill her instantly but had to fire twice at Cindy before finally claiming her life.

Either way, right or wrong Brenda gave her an outlet to unleash her anger even though as they plotted their revenge together some of the things went against her values as a human being. But none of that mattered anymore, she felt as if there was nothing else to live for now that her son was dead.

**************flashpoint flashpoint flashpoint. **********

I stared aimlessly at the clock knowing my husband Sam would be here soon. It felt bittersweet to know I was finally being released from the hospital today, although I secretly had some reservations about having to go home and be reminded of the nightmare I lived through two weeks ago. I haven't exactly discussed this with Sam yet, only because some part of me was still needed time to grasp my own feelings.

As I place my hand on my growing belly, I am reminded of everything I could have lost that day, like the precious life Sam and I created together who was growing inside me.

Eventually I know I will need to talk to Sam about everything that I am feeling, but I just can't right now when I can't even comprehend it myself.

I've stared at death more than once now, but nothing compares to how terrified I felt knowing someone plotted my murder to steal my child while I'm still pregnant with her in hopes it would reunite her with my husband. The very thought still send shivers up my spine and causes my heart to race each time.

Although Sam has tried to discuss with me, I shut down every time in fear of what the truth really was. I remember when he was attempting to negotiate with Cindy him apologizing to her for breaking their date. So was Cindy his ex? I know it doesn't matter, Sam is committed and 100% in love with me, this I know for sure. But I wasn't sure I wanted to know his past, at least not when it came to Cindy. I'm just not ready to hear the details because I'm scared.

But my troubles span beyond this. I also feel a tremendous amount of guilt and lose over Steve's death. Initially I was deeply saddened by the unnecessary loss of his life. It never really hit home until I finally got in contact with his mother to offer my deepest sympathy and gratitude for the sacrifice he made to save me and my baby.

I'm not sure what I was thinking when I called, but I wanted to call. It was the day of his memorial service, and it pained me I couldn't attend it with Sam and the rest of the team to honor his memory. So I called, how could I not? I've known his family for years. All I wanted was to let them know his life did not go in vain but all I was greeted with was hostility.

Maybe all the hormones is screwing with my senses as a police negotiator because I was taken back by a lot of the things Steve's mother said to me.

The worse part of everything she said is when she insinuated there would be a day I would be selfish enough to allow my husband and my baby to sacrifice their lives for me.

On some level I know her words come from pain and I know the person I am. Sam and this baby are my priority above anything else and I would risk anything and everything to protect them. But her words…they still managed to play on my own fears if I would be able to be the perfect wife, a great mother and still manage to maintain being a good cop.

"Hey Jules you ok?" Sam asked from behind me as I look at him trying to mask the pain but knowing he would see right through my façade. "What's wrong?"

And with that I finally open up to him as I melt into the comfort of his arms at the same time.

TBC