The Heart of a Broken Soul
Of Life and Death
A/N: Thank you to Venetiangrl92, liiddee, Well I Don't Mind, otte1978, Dahlia Rose-Marie and Sarahsoa. You guys are all so amazing.
Ahem. If you all may have noticed, I give my chapters interesting titles. Nothing fancy, sometimes random, always referring to something (however small) in that chapter. I'm going to put the titles of my next chapters to you guys (if you want to suggest something). Anything you want, provided it isn't in the title of any other chapters, and as long as it keeps with the tradition (_ and _). I will use ALL of them (if not in this story, then the next). Suggest away.
"I've just been so busy with Cole and work, I never really had the time to visit, you know?" Lucy was saying.
All that Gabby could hear, however, was 'I couldn't be bothered'. She scowled. When was Lucy ever 'so busy' with work? She hated work, and would use any excuse possible to get out of it.
Instead of voicing her thoughts, however, she just shrugged. "It's fine," she said, forcing a smile.
They were sitting in a corner booth at the diner. Gabby had wanted to get back to work as soon as she could. Even though Charlie didn't want to strain her too much, he was grateful for her help – they were seriously understaffed.
"But you're okay now! Anyway, we'll have to do something this week, before school goes back. There won't be any time, then."
"We'll see each other plenty at school, though," Gabby enthused.
Lucy didn't smile. She scratched her arm nervously, avoiding meeting Gabby's gaze. "Um, well... I'm not going."
Gabby didn't really hear her until a few seconds later. Her mouth formed an 'o'. Not going? Gabby massaged her ears. She'd obviously heard wrong. "What?"
"I'm an apprentice hairdresser now," Lucy explained. "Cole didn't think it was worth me going to school for another year. It's not like I was going to become President or anything."
Neither am I, Gabby thought sullenly. She'd never attended school without Lucy. Not for as long as she'd lived. Lucy was the only thing that kept her sane throughout the years. After her parents had died, after her brother and sister had been taken away. After everyone else had given up, Lucy had been there.
And now she wasn't, because she was with Cole.
With a shrug, Lucy stood. "I'm sorry. Anyway, I've gotta go. Have fun at work!" She left, almost ran out the diner.
As Gabby watched as she hopped into a waiting car – Cole's waiting car – she couldn't help but feel she was being replaced. It was a horrible feeling, really. The feeling of loneliness that Gabby had felt ever since her parents' deaths began to creep up on her. She sighed.
"What's up?" Jocelyn hovered over Gabby, a worried look on her face.
"Nothing. Just don't feel too well."
Jocelyn raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to work if you're not feeling-"
Gabby cut her off. "No, it's fine. Really; I just feel a bit sick. It happened all the time in hospital, it'll pass," she lied.
Frowning, Jocelyn eyed her suspiciously. "Well, alright then. But if you start hurting, tell me, okay?"
"Okay."
Filip watched Gabby as she discussed something or other with Gemma. She looked happy. No – he mentally corrected himself – she looked too happy. He knew she was upset about the children thing, but she was openly upset about it. Hell, he was upset about it, and he wasn't even sure if he wanted more children. It was too soon for him. He couldn't bear the thought of Fiona's horrified face or, God forbid, having another child, starting another family, only to have Jimmy take them away from him, too.
No, there was something else on Gabby's mind. Filip didn't recall doing anything that might upset her. Had he? No, no he hadn't. He scrunched his face up in thought. Couldn't have been Jeremy – his body was busy rotting away in the morgue.
"You keep thinking like that, your eyes'll explode." Tig gave him a hard look.
Fillip glared. It was probably that idiot. He had a habit of upsetting people with stupid comments. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Clay.
"You all ready?"
Filip blinked. "Ready for what?"
"Let's go upset some Nazi pricks."
Filip followed after them, confused. It was still day. They couldn't just show up at the factory and light it up. Anyone could see them.
Jax had obviously spotted that problem, too. "Clay? It's daytime. We can't go setting shit on fire."
Clay barely even glanced at him. "Who said anything about setting shit on fire?"
They mounted their bikes, and followed after Clay. Filip obviously wasn't the only one who didn't know what was going on as they drove through the streets, but it became apparent to them when they stopped outside one of Darby's pubs. Clay had a mean look on his face that they all knew too well.
"What are we doin' here, Clay?" Jax asked.
Clay shrugged. "I just wanna have a chat to Darby, about that money. See if I can't convince him to drop the debt."
Bobby chuckled. "You can't just walk in there, place's full of his men."
With a grin, Clay cracked his knuckles and strode inside.
"Aw, shit."
"Here we go."
Jax took the lead, and they all trailed after him. Clay took the first man down before anyone had noticed what was happening. Then there was a riot.
Filip caught a man by the throat, throwing him into a table. He turned at a sound, barely avoiding a well-aimed punch. Grabbing the arm, he twisted until he heard a crack, then struck the man in the nose.
He threw his elbow back, catching another in the cheek, before something heavy collided with him, taking him to the floor. The guy was like a giant, and Filip put his arms in front of his face as the guy threw punch after punch. He could already feel the bruises as he struggled to get a leg up to knee the man in the side. It had no real affect when he did, so he abandoned the fight for his face to gouge at the man's eyes.
It worked, and with a scream he stumbled back, allowing Filip to jump to his feet. He left the man's fate to Tig, and rushed over to help Jax, who was being pounded by two men at once.
In the corner of the pub stood a shocked Darby. He didn't join the fight, just let out a sigh as the two groups warred. Even though his men outnumbered Clay's two-to-one, they were getting their asses kicked. He needed to invest in better muscle.
When his men had been overwhelmed, Clay approached him. He glanced around at the downed men before speaking. "I was hoping we could have a little chat."
"A chat?" Darby surveyed the room. "And if I say no?"
"Well I don't really think you have a choice."
Darby considered that for a moment, before motioning to Clay to continue.
"I want you to rethink that money, because I'm not gunna pay it."
Filip leapt onto the bar, watching carefully, waiting for Darby to bring up something he shouldn't.
"That man you killed owed me a lot of money. Now someone's gotta pay."
"That someone isn't us. He put someone close to us in hospital."
Darby cocked his head to the side, like a cat. "Ah, women. They bring out the devil in all of us."
"If you want to get technical," Bobby said, "she's still a child. What do you say about that?"
"Maybe she got cocky," Darby suggested.
Filip's upper lip curled into a snarl. He noticed Bobby's face set, Tig's eyes darken. Cocky? Maybe she got 'cocky'? The man had nerve, oh, yes. But that nerve would do nothing for him when he was facing the barrel of a gun. Maybe Clay should have visited Darby before taking a vote. The decision for him to meet the reaper would have been unanimous then.
Darby wasn't stupid, though. It they wanted him dead, he wouldn't still be speaking. So he ploughed on. "People die when they get cocky, so, maybe she wasn't too cocky." His eyes rested on Filip, perhaps because his gaze had the most bloodlust. "How's she doin', anyway?"
Working up a mouthful of saliva, Filip spat on the floor. He rolled his shoulders, took a deep breath. Then he lunged.
Tig and Jax caught him by the jacket. He cursed Darby in Gaelic as they struggled to keep him at bay. "Ye filthy Nazi cunt!"
"Chibs!" Jax shouted, seizing him around the waist. "You... can't!"
They threw him back, keeping a nervous watch on him as he paced around, thoughts running through his head. How dare he mock her, mock all of them?
Filip could deal with Gabby being in hospital. Being stabbed. Nearly dying. He could deal with that, because she didn't die, and a wound would heal and a hospital bed was on temporary. So, yes, he could deal with those things.
What he couldn't get past was the pain and heartbreak on her face when the doctor told her she might not be able to have children. The way her face paled and her body slumped. Her gaze would drop to stare at nothing as she tried to work her mouth into a smile, as though that would make her seem like she didn't care. He could almost see her heart as it split in two. It was enough to break his. Again.
"Will you at least rethink that debt?" Clay asked.
Darby scowled. "No. I want that money. And I want it by the end of the week."
Clay stared evenly at him. "Fair enough," he said after a while. "By the end of the week." With a final huff, he strode out, the rest of the SoA following.
"What on earth did you do?" Gabby asked as she inspected Filip's forearm. It was more black and purple than it was skin colour, and the other was no better. Filip hissed when she poked a particularly tender part.
"I fell over," he said, watching her. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, while he lounged in the armchair. "Christ, stop touching it!" He yanked his arm out of her reach. "Ye're worse than a child."
Gabby scowled. "And you complain more than a child." She hauled herself onto the armchair, straddling Filip as she pressed her lips to his, curling her fingers in his shirt. "I love you."
Filip placed his hands on her waist, softly running his fingers on her skin, sending shocks through her body. "I love you, too."
With a smile, Gabby kissed him again, reaching up to tangle her fingers in his hair. She wasn't used to being loved. It was a nice feeling, like stepping into the sun after being in the shade on a cold day. The last time anyone had told her they loved her was when her mother put her to bed the night she died. Every time Bobby tried they ended up awkwardly standing around until one of them left. It didn't much count when Gemma said it, because it either meant she wanted something, or she knew something, or she herself was feeling lonely.
Lucy didn't say it, but she didn't need to. Gabby knew she loved her. Well, she wasn't so sure anymore. She sighed, burying her face in the crook of Filip's neck.
"Wha's wrong?" he asked.
"Just stuff," Gabby mumbled into his neck.
Filip raised an eyebrow. "I'm not psychic; ye're gunna have to be more specific than 'stuff'."
Gabby raised her head so that she was looking at him. "Teenage girl stuff."
"Try me."
"Okay, fine." Gabby readjusted her position so she was sitting more comfortably. "Lucy only visited me in hospital a couple of times, and I've barely seen her since she's gotten out. Apparently it's because she's busy with work and Cole, but she hates working at the salon, and she'd use any excuse possible to get out of work. She spends more time with Cole than with me, oh, and she's not doing school this term, because he convinced her it was a waste of time, which means it'll just be me at school, and I can't not go because Bobby's already paid for me to go." She took a breath as Filip tried to keep up with her.
"So... ye're jealous?"
Gabby would have slapped him, but someone had beaten her to it. "Did you not comprehend any of that?"
"Of course I did."
"So, then you'd understand that I'm not jealous, Filip, I'm pointing out facts."
"Righ', and the facts are tha' she's spending more time with her boyfriend than with you, and ye're jealous?"
"I'm not jealous."
Filip grinned. "Ye're jealous. But that means ye can spend more time with me."
Gabby scrunched up her nose in mock disgust. "Over my dead body."
"Eh, so be it. Least ye won't whine as much. Oof!" Gabby thumped him on the chest. "Wha' was tha' for!"
"You deserve everything you get."
"How about some mercy?"
"Pfft. You don't deserve mercy."
"Oh, is tha' wha' ye think?" Gabby squealed as he tickled her sides. She struggled to get away but he put an arm around her.
"No, don't!" Gabby shrieked. How he found out she was ticklish was beyond her, but it was leverage. "Mercy, mercy!"
"So you think ye deserve mercy, do ye? But I don't?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She wriggled backwards, out of his lap, and with a squeal landed painfully on the ground.
Chuckling, Filip grabbed her wrists and pulled her to her feet as he stood. "Come on; I'll take ye out to dinner."
"What, don't want to sample my wonderful cooking?"
"No, ye take too long and I'm starvin'."
Gabby huffed. "Well, that's the last time I ever cook anything for you."