I am sorry.
I'm really so, so sorry I've only updated right now. And because:
-This chapter is short. I've already written this part months before but I haven't continued it because of school work. Sigh.
-I have made you guys wait. I apologize. Gosh I really, really apologize.
-The chapter didn't fulfill the chapter preview. I've already planned everything, but I never had the time (and the confidence) to type it.
BUT… there will be kissing next chapter. Sigh. I guess I'll drag on this story for another chapter. I apologize it's still not the Prom. I hope you guys don't mind. Please, please, please forgive me.
I guess... this will be a preview. Yes. If you desperately want to review, PM me instead. I just can't help updating because you guys might think this story is dead or something. I'll try my best to make up to you the next time I update!
"Outree"
(Beginning shall be emo)
Me.
EXAMS ARE NEARLY OVERRRR!
Gosh, I'm finally going to be able to practice baking properly once I go home!
HAHAHAHA. I can't stop laughing. I'm just so happy. Only one day left tomorrow for exam torture. After that I'm officially free! Yay.
Hehehe. Ok I'll go laugh again.
"Hey, Tsuna-kun!" I call out once he comes out of the classroom. Haru and Gokudera-kun came out earlier, bickering as always. ("Idiot hag, that move's all wrong. We should do this instead!") Now only Yamamoto-kun's left inside.
He looks up and walks to me. I take out from my pocket the scratch paper I used for the exam earlier.
"What did you answer in the last question?" I ask earnestly. "I kinda have no faith at my solutions. Damn you Physics."
"Oh, question 29? Maybe if you used this formula and derived this equation maybe..."
"Not a chance dude," I point out. "Look, the value's higher if we do this..."
"Why don't you use this then?"
"Can you give me your solution? You're not even a good teacher. I don't even get your shortcuts."
"Physics isn't exactly my strongest point. I didn't get to catch this because I was excused."
"Then you should have taken the test later!"
"Well, your brother told us we should have guts to take the exam as soon as we can. He told us it was important for our concentration."
"What does taking exams you haven't even studied have to do with concentration?"
He shrugs. "I don't know either. Besides, shouldn't you be asking Gokudera-kun instead about your answer? I heard he's a good teacher."
I swallow and then tried to make my face muscles work their charm.
"Ehehe, I don't feel like asking him," I giggle and then fold my scratch paper. Darn, it's been already three days since and my eyes keep stinging whenever I remember. I turn from Sawada and pretend to return my paper on my bag so he won't see my bloodshot eyes.
It's a good thing- earlier that Gokudera-kun had avoided me. It's probably better if our eyes never meet. I try to pound in my mind that Gokudera-kun has a good reason to reject me, whatever that may be or why he left. Honestly, I don't want to know.
Fuck, I don't really get at why I'm going at it like it's the saddest thing that ever happened to me.
"Kyoko-san, what did you answer at Math here?" he now asks as he points to one problem he also wrote. It took me two minutes to decipher the five numbers.
"Oh that…" I secretly wipe my eyes and write my solution. "Tsuna-kun next time you should practice writing legibly. I can't understand whatever you had put in the paper."
And we continue to chat. I ask him more problems and he swaps his answers with mine.
Good thing that Gokudera-kun never bubbled up from our conversation again.
~K27~
"Thanks for walking me home like yesterday," I say to Tsuna-kun. I look at my bag. The knot in my stomach just keeps on tightening.
He just waves his hand casually. I bite my lip as I look at his patched-up face.
"Don't act recklessly for me again like what you did last Saturday," I blurted out. He shrugs.
"I'm afraid-"
"Oh stop acting like a hero, idiot. If you died for little old me I might not forgive myself," I butt in and open my bag. "I heard after you passed out that night from walking me home Yamamoto-kun took you at the hospital on time."
"The injuries weren't that serious," he laughs nervously. "And how did you know?"
"Got it from the source," I giggle and take out the lecture notebook. My left hand trembled as it clasped on the flimsy notebook. "I heard as well that you only got out last Sunday afternoon so here, the lecture for the stuff we learned while you were excused… I have an extra copy fret not!" I shove the notebook to his chest. "And when you're done… can you return it to Gokudera-kun? Send him my thanks as well."
Somehow my voice couldn't muster even a touch of glee.
He just nods, his mouth curling to a frown.
"Thank you, Tsuna-kun~" I try to make myself sound lively. "Make sure you read those lectures or else I'm going to beat you and become number 1!"
He merely stands there with his frown deepening.
"Hey dude, stop spacing out!" I wave my hands frantically. "Yo…"
"Ah, sorry!" Tsuna-kun smiles, returning back to earth. "I should go then."
"You should!" I titter and wave. "Make sure you don't forget to give that to Gokudera-kun ok?"
Darn it. I can't resist swallowing when I utter that guy's name.
By the time he actually leaves I ran to the house.
My legs were wobbly and I can barely catch my breath once leap to my bed, slippers long forgotten.
Gawd. I know my pillow will be wet again.
~K27~
Her.
Kyoko-chan has switched classes come first day of finals.
Uwah! Kyoko-chan appears so depressed these days. I want to be with her. Hug her. Be the best fwiend I should be.
It makes more sense anyway, than selfishly being with Gokudera-san, helping with practice.
We're almost close to perfect anyway. He's good enough to seamlessly blend with the instrumental playing with his piano skillz. He can sing nicely as well.
I hate to tell him that he's really good, or otherwise he'd quip me with sarcasm again.
"What about our props?" he asked once we wrap up our session. Our principal's super nice to let us use the music room under that prefect's nose. Boo him.
"Already did the finishing touches. We can put them up tomorrow night if you want. We can have class 3-C help us with staging our wonderland. Hoho. They're in charge with the stage, remember?"
"Ah, good. Let's take a look later."
To be honest, I think Gokudera-san's acting really funny since Sunday.
I mean he's not bashing me in the head when I say something stupid, even on purpose.
"Don't forget we're going home with Takeshi-kun!"
"Yeah, yeah…"
See! H-He actually didn't say "Like hell I'm going all mushy-mushy with you two!" or "Stupid hag! No way am I coming!"
Gokudera-san's more of the brooding type nowadays. He's no longer screaming at me when I make a mistake at practice. He doesn't use his colorful vocab much when we go home. He doesn't throw bombs at others when they wolf whistle at us too as we went home. Like last Saturday.
He just puts his hands on his pockets, with a cigarette popping from his mouth.
Hate to say it but I like this Gokudera-san more. He listens at my rants, no matter how nonsensical and focuses at playing his parts flawlessly rather than looking at my mistakes. He also doesn't talk. Maybe not much now compared to before.
The only thing I hate about this Gokudera-san though, is his distancing from Tsuna-san and even from Takeshi-kun.
I already told Tsuna-san and Takeshi-kun about last Saturday. Thank god they didn't scold Gokudera-san.
"Hiya, Haru! Gokudera!" says Takeshi-kun once we finally catch the sky outside.
"Hey!" I smile and grab Takeshi-kun's arm.
Gokudera-san remains silent and plucks a cigarette again.
"You know, I'm worried about you two," Takeshi-kun says. "Don't you care about the grades for exams?"
"Whatevs," I shoo it away. "I already hit the books last Saturday. Let's go to the sushi bar again! Yay!"
"Err, ok Haru-chan." Whee, I'm glad that he agreed.
Gokudera-san just shuffles from behind. I quickly grip his arm and thrust him forward.
"Don't give us the long face Gokudera-san!" I say in the best encouraging tone I can do. "Banzai for sushi!"
Whatever happens, I should cheer him up! I'm sure Takeshi-kun will help me. And maybe we'll all be able to have a final picnic together.
Just keeping my fingers crossed.
~K27~
Him.
"She's worried about you," the baseball freak whispered as we took another sip of melon juice. The hag continues to sing as she dunks in for more wasabi. She had let me and Yamamoto have a one-on-one while she finishes the rest of our food.
I just continue drinking absent-mindedly.
"Can you make up with Kyoko-san? You know… be friends with her again?"
I smile bitterly.
"I think she doesn't want me to do that. She switched classes remember?"
"Haru-chan wants us to be one before you go and to be honest, that's what I want too."
I just stare at my cup and tilt the contents with careful thought of not spilling any. "It's really funny because even before the field trip the five of us haven't hung out yet. Maybe after the Prom we can-"
I shook my head.
"No time for that," I sigh. "I'll be leaving soon after. I'm only doing this for Miura." I can't call her 'hag' in his face. "I owe that silly girl only once. I don't want to squeeze in another thing when I've already made up my mind."
"Then attend it for me. I don't want to see a disappointed Haru-chan. Please."
I took a long draught from my glass and looked at him dolefully.
"You really like her, don't you?"
He laughs nervously and refuses to meet my eyes.
"She likes you back, don't worry. She's really crazy about you."
"Wh-what?"
"Damn, you two are really close minded. And don't fucking go red in front of me. She often talks about you when she has the chance to yap with that big mouth of hers..."
Before he could argue further a beeping sound issued from his pocket.
"Uh-oh. Looks like my presidential duties call," he hooted. "Think about what I told you," he winks. "Oh right! Haru-chan-"
"Don't bother," I cut across him raising my glass. "I'll walk her home. Your mates might impeach you or something out of tardiness. That won't be good for your image, pres baseball freak."
"Haha, think about it alright? I'll talk with Kyoko-san there. I'm sure she'd be willing to be friends with you again."
My saliva got stuck in my throat again when I imagine the idiot talking to me like this. I wonder if she'd be able to reject or accept the offer with the same nonchalance I exhibited.
I imagine the baseball freak cornering her after that duty of theirs.
"It's really funny because even before the field trip the five of us haven't hung out yet. Maybe after the Prom we can-" I remember the baseball freak throwing the same question at Kyoko-san.
"Well screw that for all I care," I imagine Kyoko-san saying eyes now red and hair becoming super-saiyan, breaking whatever's in her hand (I imagine a fold-up table they might be using for the Prom). "Me? Going with that asshole who dumped me? Why if that bastard would come I would-"
Yeah, I imagine a dark side of Kyoko-san attempting to rip me apart. I shudder.
"Hey," I call out to him as he turns to leave. The hag waves at us impatiently, the sushi all gone from the plate. "You didn't answer my question earlier."
The baseball freak grins. "It's obvious, isn't it? Haru-chan's probably the best thing that collided with our visit to Namimori. I'll be more than happy to go out with her for real."
"Spoken straight to the point, haven't we?" I smirk and pat him on the back. "I give you my blessing. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to finally have a guy like you."
"Hope you're right," he brushes it off, beaming. "If you heard her talk, you'll be surprised. You're the only thing she can't stop talking about."
He then bids goodbye to the hag, leaving me confused and close to laughing at his retort.
Impossible, right?
RIGHT?!
~K27~
Her.
"Where's Takeshi-kun going?" I ask trying to be inquisitive.
"He has his duties as the President," he flicks my forehead. "And we, as model citizens for the future should be going home, preparing to be filthy rich on our jobs by studying hard so let's go..."
"Wait, wait, wait... You are walking me home?"
"You numbskull. 'Course I am!" he affirms indifferently.
"He didn't let you in on walking me home?" my mouth is hanging open as I ask.
"Nope. Now hurry up. It's past six already."
"G-Gokudera-san... You're not possessed, are you?"
"You want me to hit you on the head to prove you wrong?"
"N-no. Fine. Let's go."
It's a tenser moment once we go home.
For the first time ever, I found it rather awkward rather than infuriating to walk with him.
I mean, Gokudera to walk me home willingly? O.M. And the bicycle trip doesn't count!
We made sure we were close without going way overboard, in case someone does a ninja on us and whisks me away or something... Like a princess. Aww.
"You're drooling."
"Eff you. Do you have to notice everything?" I say heatedly as I wipe my mouth.
The silence became more pronounced with every step.
"Do you really have to tell the baseball freak about my dilemma, you tattletale?" his tone was still light.
"Oh he told you?" I frown. Next time, I'll probably confide my feelings with Tsuna-san instead but since he's more of a chatterbox than even Takeshi-kun... I don't wanna risk it.
"He wants us all to have a get-together or something. I'm guessing that it's his idea..."
"Yep. Count me out on that one," I point out giggling. "I understand your situation though. I mean, it's tough for Kyoko-chan to move on. She's probably still in love with you. And even if you try to reciprocate it, it'll just mess things up."
"But there's a catch. I got the Tenth, you and the baseball freak involved in this mess. That's the reason why we're not able to hang out like before."
"It's just like before though when Tsuna-san was distancing himself from us. You don't have to blame yourself."
"Still-"
"Gokudera-san-"
"No. Listen to me. I apologize. I mean, if I didn't seek your help then maybe none of this would've happened in the first place."
"It's the other way round, ya know," I chuckle emptily. "I should be the one saying sorry. I mean the only reason why I tried to offer a hand was because… I wanted to get back at Tsuna-san."
I halt. It's just eating me from the inside. I really want to help badly and fix the situation yet-
Goddammit, Bakadera. It was never your fault in the first place.
I shake my head in alarm when I see his horrified expression.
"Well that was my initial reason! In the end when we became real friends again I just continued to help you because you were fun to be with, even if you hit me a lot."
I press my lips together and pinch my skirt hard.
"I wish we didn't fight a lot before. If I had gotten to see this sooner… this other side of you then maybe I-" I place my hand over my mouth.
I almost said it. I really nearly said it!
"Whatevs. Right, let's go home," I say hastily and walk, with my hands still clasping my skirt pleats.
Gosh, what is wrong with you woman? Did that melon juice make you too tipsy or something?
"Gimme moar sushi, yeah break it down yo!" I scream more nonsense in case that guy tries to butt in. Good thing he didn't break my rhythm and was quiet until we got home.
Yep, until I got to my house did he finally say something.
"You're making too much racket stupid hag!" he says hotly, reminding me of the old Gokudera-san who I had quarreled with.
"I'll bring the props tomorrow, kay thanks bye!" I wave quickly and run to the gate before he could say anything.
For once I wish he was slow.
A second confession is the last thing that Gokudera Hayato needs.
~K27~
Me.
We've got it all covered.
"Instead of having the cooking club do the work, we catered instead. I made sure the entire junior and senior year contribution for the food is worth it. We also have a chocolate and soda fountain," I announce proudly at Yamamoto-kun.
We're almost done with the venue, seats, sounds, lighting and the food. The decorations and final preparations will be ready by tomorrow.
Yep, we're doing it like bosses.
Yamamoto-kun's a really dependable president. Despite the fact that we have exams tomorrow, it turned out he already had the venue booked two weeks ago. The lighting and sounds were taken care of last Sunday. He had already told me about us class reps taking care of the food last Saturday.
"Excellent!" he gives us two thumbs up. We student council members grin from ear to ear. "Adjourned! Let's do our best tomorrow too!"
There's a definite scraping of chairs as people quickly head for the door. Nonstop chattering abounds. My fellow council members cannot hide their excitement. I'm about to join them when Yamamoto-kun grabs my arm.
"One moment please," he beckons me as he steals another glance at our action plan.
I follow in puzzlement.
"Is it about the plan? Well, if we do cater we can maximize the rest of the time helping you guys for the final touches tomorrow… Or is it the menu? I made sure about 80% of the students attending had their favorites listed. The vegans have salad and some dishes here on the paper. As for those who don't eat beef or pork-"
"No, it's not that. You guys did a wonderful job. I just wanted to ask for a little favor."
I remember the time when I had shot him in the head with Reborn-san's gun. I felt a little guilty as I nodded.
"It's pretty easy to ask from you. Just a get together before the prom. Us five I mean." He sounds a little shaky as he asks.
"Oh we haven't hung out casually for sometime!" I start but then stare at him instead. By five, then it means that Gokudera-kun...
"We'll ask the others if they're ok with going to the karaoke joint downtown."
"I-is he coming?" My tone is higher than usual.
"I asked Gokudera to come." A smile surfaces as he looks at me with twinkling eyes. His name reverberates on my two ears as I kept my poker face. My expression must have relieved him or something.
"Whose idea was it?" my face hardens.
"Mine Kyoko-san..." his smile begins to melt when he notices my tremulous hands.
I must control myself. If I suddenly break down now, fuck.
"I-I'll think about it ok?" I say prudently, forcing my clammy hands to stop shaking. "Know what, I'll just incline to decline," I say finally as I turn to hide the tears trying to spill. "I probably might be busy shopping for my dress then so-"
I felt his hand on my right shoulder. My eyesight instantly begins to blur as my tears overflow.
I still can't believe that I still… with Gokudera-kun…
"Gokudera never explained to you why he did it."
I began to feverishly wipe my face. He had read what I was thinking.
"Well then, can you? Was he telling the truth all along when he told me he liked me and wooed me?" I murmur, burying my face in my hands and crying silently.
"Tsuna told him that he's going to be the Right Hand Man much later than expected. It was already decided a week before we arrived in Japan. The higher-ups only told Tsuna last Friday that after the Prom would be the time of the test."
"The one involving the life and soul on the line?" I bite my lip. I mustn't let my emotions win.
"Bingo. Maybe he just didn't want you to know and blame Tsuna for messing your feelings up."
"Then why did you have to tell me?"
"I owe you for helping with the Prom."
"B-but-" I sputter. "For you to divulge that on me... don't you think it'll make the situation worse? Don't you think that I'll probably be putting the blame on Tsuna-kun?"
He laughs. "Because you're Haru's friend and my girl friend (somehow, it's weird saying that haha)."
I'm touched at his bubbly sincerity. It makes me wonder if this guy was the same person who tried to whack me with a samurai sword.
"And you're too sensible for that. Tsuna hasn't got the chance to tell you, probably. Or it's because you might have never asked him. He's got many things on his mind, that guy. Wish the elders will give him a break or something."
"You're right," I sigh. Somehow the heaviness I felt lightened up a little. "Well wow. I knew this will happen sooner or later and I haven't done anything to put a stop to it."
I look at Yamamoto-kun who wore a small smile.
"Thank you," I pat him on the shoulder. "You know, for trying to fix us up. But to be honest," I take a deep breath. "It's not going to be easy. It's not freakin' fair that Fate toyed with our feelings like this."
"Then it's a no?" he laughs.
"Yep. I figure I can't come. I'm not really strong enough to face him." I begin walking up the door and looking at my watch. It's half past 6. "Well, later. I'll give my hundred per cent tomorrow again."
He walks with me outside.
"Tsuna will be waiting for us by the gates."
I gape. Saywhut?
"W-what the hell is he doing here at this hour?"
"He had lessons with Hibari-san. I don't have a clue on what kind though," Yamamoto-kun shrugs.
"Just spill it to me once you know what that bastard's doing," I reply with a laugh.
"It's a deal if you answer my question," Yamomoto-kun says, and suddenly my chest constricts.
I know this is not good. His smile had a touch of naught.
"What's your question dude?" I eye him beadily.
"You still like Gokudera-kun, don't you?"
~K27~
Her.
Grr… I wish I took Gokudera-san's number. He'd then be able to tutor me in English.
I sigh heavily and throw the big Merriam-Webster dictionary aside.
Hn. I'm not even able to concentrate much... WAH! Why did I suddenly think of that all of a sudden?
Duh, I'm supposed to be in love with Takeshi-kun forever and ever, and for me to suddenly- to suddenly be liking Gokudera-san out of the blue…
Ok, I have to look at my reasons.
Hanging out with Gokudera-san had changed my perception of the short-tempered, octopus-haired buffoon. It turned out that he's a gentleman and a being who can fall in love, just like most of us. He can be timid at times, and he can be helpful when needed. He can also cry when asked to.
Then he's also smart. If he really hit the books, he could surpass Tsuna-san's and Kyoko-chan's grades in no time.
And he can really kick an instrument's ass! He easily learned how to play the guitar (with my sage-like guidance, of course!).
Plus… well, I actually feel really at home when I'm talking with him.
Before, when I saw Kyoko-chan and him hanging out, I actually felt a little envious. The way Kyoko-chan glowed when she was with him was really strange. How the two of them seemed incredibly close… it was almost as if they were really going out.
When I'm with Takeshi-kun, I was often trying to carry the conversation. I realized it was just me manhandling our stories and stuff. I also can't be myself with him. I get really shy and suddenly stutter at times.
Maybe Kyoko-chan also saw all these qualities of Gokudera-san and realized she also had the same feelings for him as he did for her.
"Hag, we should hurry up. We don't want to be late for exams. Otherwise your dad might kick you out if he learns about it."
We both break into a jog.
I wish that I'm just mistaking my feelings again. It's not good to fall for Gokudera-san now. He's going to leave, and he might not be coming back.
"Gokudera-san, are Yamamoto-kun and I made for each other?" I just have to ask now so I can move on! Yes, that's it.
"What? Well, I don't know. If the baseball freak learns what an assertive little airhead you are, maybe he'd pass. If he found out the big make-up kit you have in your bag to hide your ugly pimples then no…"
"I hate you," I pouted. Gosh, maybe I was wrong. I was probably just mistaking my feelings- to try having my heart bring up some competition. Maybe this is fate trying to quell my undying love for Takeshi-kun.
"I was kidding, idiot. That dude likes you back. He told me yesterday. I've never seen him happier except when the Tenth and I were playing baseball with him. In truth, I'm really… glad that he's actually making the right decision in choosing you."
"You're…glad?" my voice rang out weakly as I nearly stumbled. I could barely keep up with his running.
"Yep. Weird right?" He's actually grinning. "It's just I found out in a sense, we're both alike. We know where our loyalties lie. I, with the Tenth and you, with the baseball freak. I've seen you too mushing it up all over the place. It's about time you really mush it up in public."
"Eww, don't make it sound like we're doing something obscene," I hit him on the back. Then he actually has no feelings for me.
See, Haru. No need to make up delusions! Just go with the flow, and you won't be experiencing the same hurting all over again.
If I had asked Tsuna-san earlier, then I wouldn't have been hurting for a while.
I laugh cheerfully. Never mind that I only studied for ten minutes last night.