Chapter 16: Don't Do This

Emma unlocked the door to her office and Neal followed behind her.

"Are you done giving me the silent treatment," Neal asked, the two of them not having said a word in the car on the way over. "Are we ever going to talk?"

"About what?"

"You know what Emma! First you tell me that you wished Henry didn't have to grow up without us, and then you tell Henry that you're still getting the hang of the mom thing, and then I find out from Henry no less that he was adopted. What all am I missing?"

"Close to eleven years worth Neal."

"That's not fair."

"Yeah well what is?"

"What happened, Emma? You gave up Henry for adoption; I guess I'm just trying to understand."

"It's not that complicated," Emma said standing near the corner of her desk. "I had Henry when I was eighteen and in jail because of you."

"Yeah well you'd think after what happened to you, you would've decided to keep him."

"Hey, you don't get to judge me! I did what I thought was right at the time. I still had two months left to go on my sentence. I didn't have a plan on what to do once I got out. I knew Henry deserved better than me. I wanted to give him his best chance."

"You could've kept him. The money should've helped."

"What money?"

"The money that I fenced for the watches," said Neal. "I sent it along with the car. It was at least several thousand dollars. August said-,"

"Wait you gave the money to August?"

"Yeah what was wrong with that?"

Emma couldn't help hold back her smile, "August. You left several thousand dollars with him, trusting that he would get it to me."

"Help me out here Emma, what are you getting at?"

"For someone who knew about the curse and most of the details you clearly had no idea who you were dealing with did you? As good a friend as August W. Booth is, he can't be trusted. Neal, he's Pinocchio."

"Pinocchio? The kid who can't lie but does so anyway and whose nose will grow when he does?"

"Yeah him, only his nose doesn't grow, he just turns back to wood."

Neal placed his hands in his pockets, "Guess I screwed up that one didn't I?"

"Either way I don't think it would have mattered. Even had that helped keeping Henry was never really an option. What I did sucks and I hate that I wasn't there for him the same way my parents hate that they weren't there for me. I really thought he would be okay so for years I never allowed myself to think about him because I wanted to believe that he was."

"What made you change your mind?"

Emma went over to her desk and took seat. "He did actually. Less than a year ago Henry stole Mary Margaret's credit card so he could find me. When I saw he didn't have the kind of life I had hoped for I ended up staying."

Neal took a seat across from Emma.

"Was he treated badly or something?"

"Not physically. It's all complicated and kind of a mess really but I knew something wasn't right. I stayed to make sure he was okay. Things changed and now I've got my kid back."

"I want the same thing Emma."

Emma stood up and walked to the front door. "You just got here. You don't know what you want."

Neal followed Emma out of the office as she went to the file cabinet.

"Yes I do. I've never been more certain of anything since that day in the hotel room when I said what I wanted was you."

"And look how well that turned out," Emma said not at all liking the direction the conversation was going.

"I screwed up on a lot of things and I'm really sorry Emma but I don't want to screw this up. I came here for you the same way you came here for Henry. And now that I know I want him as well. I want the chance to get to know my son and I want to start over with you. I've wanted that for nearly eleven years haven't you?"

"No," Emma said which she and Neal both knew was a lie.

"What I want is you and I mean that."

"Don't do this Neal."

"Why not?"

"Because it's too complicated. You don't know what you'd be getting yourself into. I'm not just any girl anymore."

"I've always known that."

"You just got here," Emma said repeating, "We don't even know each other anymore, we can't just start something as if the past eleven years didn't matter."

"I think we can. That thing between us is still there Emma. I know you feel it. Why else would you wear the keychain around your neck?"

Emma gasped. Though she had always hung onto it, there were some days when it became just like a regular necklace with no special meaning.

Neal took a step forward and smiled.

"Don't," Emma said wanting to fight him off but she couldn't.

The closer Neal stepped the more her heart raced. She hadn't felt like this in a very long time. She had forgotten what real love was like. Men came in and out of her life but she never allowed herself to feel anything, she was numb to them. She wanted to be numb to Neal but she couldn't. A fire raced inside her, one she hadn't felt since she was with him when she was seventeen.

True love wasn't easy in this world. It wasn't easy the way it was back in the Enchanted Forest. Though those romances had their struggles they always knew that once true love was found that was it, there could be no other.

Emma had believed that to be the case when she was young and in love but then life happened and it got turned upside down again. A curse or Gold taking advantage of her life had nothing to do with keeping her and her love apart, it was just unfortunate circumstances.

Neal took another step closer, Emma was trapped, her back against the cabinet.

He smiled as he looked down at her face, tracing every line, every feature into his thoughts. She was so beautiful, more so than she had been eleven years ago. Gone were the adorable glasses that gave her a look of youthful innocence. Now in place were deep set green eyes with a wisdom that seemed beyond her years. She had changed to be certain and not just in beauty alone. It only made him love her more.

Neal leaned down and slowly placed his lips onto hers. Internally Emma was fighting with part of herself. This was wrong, she knew it was wrong. He had only been back in her life for a day and yet it seemed that time didn't matter. She slowly began to form her lips to shape his. It was a sensation she had not felt in years. She had been kissed by other men before but they were nameless, faceless, meaningless. Neal on the other hand; with him everything about him felt right.

Emma wrapped her arms around Neal's neck, and Neal kept her pinned to the cabinet, his arms holding onto the edge of them, their kiss getting more forceful, deeper as their tongues caressed the inside of each other's mouths. Despite her hate and despite her anger, Emma had longed for this for years since the day he departed.

They were so lost that it now seemed like nothing could stop this moment, almost nothing.

"Um," Mary Margaret said clearing her throat.

Neal and Emma were too lost within each other that they didn't hear her.

This time David cleared his throat.

"Should we maybe come back later," Mary Margaret asked as the couple stopped their make out session.

Emma could feel a blush coming on for a moment before her face turned to that of guilt and shame.

"Damn you Neal," she whispered to him as she shoved him off.

Emma walked away from him and past her parents not even acknowledging what had just happened. She needed to get away from everything. She knew she was reverting in part by running away from the problem but it seemed like the best option at this point.

Emma didn't feel like taking the cruiser so instead she walked the couple of blocks where her bug was parked. Another reminder of Neal but it was better to have the bug than for people to think she was going off on official sheriff business.

She got in and began driving. There was only one place in mind that she wanted to be and so she floored her bug as fast as it would go. Emma eventually came to her destination and made the right turn that led out of Storybrooke.