Disclaimer: nope, not the end of the world, not mine

Warning: some mature themes in this one. ATM, the only reason for the M rating

The next couple of weeks saw Lily get better and better day by day, but on the other side of the coin, James practically shut himself off from everyone who was not a marauder. The ongoing tensions between the Gryffindors and Slytherins had surprisingly, reached a sort of a stalemate, with no hexes being thrown around corridors and the hospital wing being empty for the first time in over a year. The marauders all withdrew from pranks and hexes and fun in general, and James and Sirius could be found actually taking notes in class and spending time doing homework in the library. The three of them excelled further than before in those few weeks, and even Peter managed an E in a transfiguration paper.

JAMES POV

"Full moon tonight, Prongsie! I'm so excited!"

"You would be," the reproachful voice of Moony sounded, "Prongs maybe you should sit this one out. We haven't don't much recently so Padfoot will be tripping over himself to be there and he'll be okay on his own."

"Sure Moony?"

"Yeah, Prongs. And talk to Lily will you? I think she's a little worried."

"Maybe…"

The sadness was overwhelming. They had no idea what it was like. To lose everyone. The closest relatives I had now was Marlene and her parents. Sometimes I felt like I had no friends. Like other than the marauders, everyone just wanted to be seen with me because I was a marauder, or because they wanted to get in my pants. The others didn't know, since I didn't share a room with them anymore, and I always waited until I was sure Lily was asleep, but then I wasn't really thinking straight today, only overcome by sadness. So I went up to my room and reopened those that were just healing.

LILY POV

"Solar Eclipse"

The portrait swung open for me to climb through, after a girls night. I was surprised that the guys weren't in the common room, mucking around, or like more recent times, talking in low voices and doing work. It unnerved me, how they were so quiet. I had a feeling that Sirius was getting restless too, like he'd do something stupid. And then there was James. I'd been so harsh to him this year, and he'd forgiven me both times, and more recently become my friend. In fact, I'd say that sometimes, he'd be better to talk to than Marls or Alice – he was just so understanding. But we hadn't even talked other than to organize the prefects meeting last week, where he merely sat there and let me do all the talking. Then afterwards, when Avery and Mulciber came by to see Nott and said something distasteful, he hexed the three of them into the hospital wing. They'd only gotten out 2 days later and he wasn't even punished. I was starting to get seriously concerned. I still felt guilty about when I broke up with him, although I had a feeling that the other girls knew what happened before I got there. Tomorrow would be 3 weeks since the marauders went and got all that food for us and we had a relaxing night. 3 weeks since James' aunt and uncle were killed. 3 weeks since we had properly talked. I missed him. I realized, that I missed him so much it hurt. He'd been that one constant in my life – always there for me. For the first 5 years, he constantly paid me compliments, and it made me feel special, not that I'd ever admit it. Last year, while he stopped the compliments, anyone who insulted me for any reason, including my ex boyfriend who called me a mudblood in a fourth floor corridor when he broke up with me, had turned up bloody and bruised or hexed beyond recognition. I felt a small amount of gratitude to him, because I knew it was him.

I stepped out of the shower, still caught up in my thoughts, and changed into more comfortable clothing, and went downstairs but then I heard something. Crying. And then a sound that reminded me of those muggle sushi chefs preparing their food. A groan of pain. I sprinted up the stairs to James' room and pushed the door open. I stood there, shocked, as I took in the scene before me. He sat there, with his beautiful face marred by tears. His arms were stained red from the cuts in his arms. The knife in his right hand glistened like a ruby in the light. His eyes, that glorious hazel colour, looked up at me, wide open with shock, and then horror.

"Lily… It's… Merlin… I'm sorry…" he stammered out.

My heart broke. I crossed the floor, gently pulling the knife out of his hands and putting it on the dresser. I embraced him, murmuring things into his ear. I felt him relax a little and wrap his arms around me, and squeeze tight, like if he was afraid that if he didn't, he'd lose me forever. I found that I didn't mind. I didn't mind that he was squeezing me tightly. I didn't mind the closeness between our bodies. I didn't mind that the blood on his arms was probably staining into me shirt. I realised, again, that I had fallen for him again, that without him, I was lost. He was the one that kept me grounded over the last 6 years. He was the one that comforted me when my parents died. He was the one that attacked Voldemort and stopped him from torturing me. He was the one that probably saved my life in Hogsmeade with those shield charms. He was the one that was always there for me, and now, I needed to be there for him.

"I'm here, James. Always."

Author's Note: Happy 21/12/12 people! Well it is in Australia anyway. I'm pretty happy with how this chapter turned out, and I've been toying with James or Lily cutting for a while, but I've decided on James because he'd bet there to stop Lily from doing so. I have a fair idea of what's happening next, but I'd love it if anyone would message me with ideas!

Now I probably won't get a chance to upload again until after christmas, so

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Reviews are you getting your favourite gifts!