Here's the next chapter! And by the way, as you've probably noticed, I've split this chapter into two parts again. But it is one chapter, it just got too long to post as a whole. I don't like posting chapter more than 2000 words long, otherwise I can't read it over and spellcheck it so quickly.
Oh, and to MakingMiraclesHappen, this story is set during Eclipse. And Brady is 16 instead of 14. Sorry, I should have said that before. =-)
Thank you for all your reviews!
Anyway, enjoy, and please continue to review! =-) Xx
When I get back to the Orphanage, I run upstairs to my room and throw myself on my bed, sobbing. Jordan must have told them on the phone that I'm upset- nobody follows me up. Long sobs just seem to come out of me uncontrollably. I have no control over them whatsoever. It's as if they have a mind of their own, each one worse than the last.
I stay like this for an hour or so. I've cried so much that my throat is hurting and I have red eyes. My body feels stiff from staying in the same position for such a long time- lying face down with my head in my arms- and my muscles have cramped up slightly. Eventually, and thankfully, my sobs begin to quieten. I sit up on my bed and breathe in and out carefully, wiping my red tear-stained cheek with my hands.
I've never cried like that, and for that length of time, in my life.
After drying my tears and wishing my red cheeks away, I just sit there before standing up. My throat feels parched and dry, croaky with dehydration, and I decide to get a drink. My mind feels frozen, along with my body, as I stiffly open my bedroom door and softly walk myself down the stairs. My cheeks suddenly feel hot, but I know I'm not blushing. No, it must be from crying so many tears.
The staircase feels longer than usual to get down. Maybe it's because I'm walking so slow. I can hear the happy cooing of the supervisors to the tots, along with the crashing toys of the kids, as I reach the bottom. The kitchen door is opposite the sitting room, where all the babies usually play around this time, and I pause at the bottom and look into it. There are about three supervisors on shift, all playing with the kids. A few of them aren't here because they're old enough for kindergarten, but the babies are. Baby toys are scattered about the place, but the supervisors seem to have control of all of them.
Normally, I would have smiled. But I just can't seem to yet. I look in for a moment, then carry on into the kitchen.
After pouring myself a glass of orange juice, I take a sip and lean my back against the fridge. My throat immediately feels better with the cold drink running inside of it, making it's way down to my nauseous-feeling stomach. I notice how numb I feel about this whole Brady thing- like I've cried myself out. Unfortunately, I know it won't last long.
Suddenly, I become alarmed with I see movement at the doorway on the floor. For one crazy moment, I think it might be a massive blue spider. I look down, wide-eyed, in shock. But it's only little Alex- the baby boy who Sam fed his breakfast this morning. A lifetime ago.
I smile down at him despite my current sad state of mind. He's crawling round the door, having made his way through from the sitting room. Dressed in his blue shirt, blue jeans, and tiny grey socks, he looks so cheeky and adorable.
"Hello, cheeky, are you being a naughty boy and running away from the supervisor?" I coo, mock-shocked. See, this is one of the good things about living in an Orphanage: the babies always make me happier.
He giggles, a big toothless smile on his face, and shuffles toward me. His tiny grey socks begin to come off of his feet as he drags himself adorably to me.
"Oh my god, where's Alex?" I can hear the supervisor panic from the next room. She can't see into here because the door is half-shut.
"He immigrated through here," I call, placing my glass on the counter and lean down to pick him up, smiling broadly. "Do you want me to give him his lunch?"
"Oh, would you, Kayla? That would be great." Even though there's a wall separating us, I can hear the relief clear in her voice. A baby cries, possibly for attention, and I can hear her cooing at them through the wall.
Alex snuggles himself down into the nook of my shoulder, and I kiss his forehead adoringly.
"Now then, baby boy, let's get you some nice lunch," I open up the fridge for some of his baby food. Once I find some pureed peas, I hold onto him easily with one arm while using my other one to drag out one of the high chairs we keep behind the door.
After feeding him and placing his pacifier in his mouth, I carry him through to his cot in the sitting room. His eyelids are already drooping when I carefully lay him down for his afternoon nap.
I distract myself from the pain in my heart by busying myself with the kids. I can tell it's still there, but I try and ignore it. It sits in there, waiting for me to remember it, but I can't let myself think.
I distract myself, managing to avoid the sadness that's waiting for me for a few hours, but eventually the supervisors tell me that I should take a break. All the babies are napping peacefully, which should have made me peaceful, but I'm completely the opposite. My mind feels clogged again, thoughts pouring back into it, the same ones as before. I can't push the sadness back any longer.
I'm all alone in the sitting room, looking round at the kids while the supervisors have their cups of tea and biscuits. Tears start to prick at my eyes, making them strain to hold them back, but it does no good. A few are already making their way down my face.
To be honest, I think I could've coped with everyone knowing I have a crush on Brady when he and Chloe hadn't fooled around. The betrayal of her friendship is part of the cause of my tears. The other part, I guess, is I've never grieved for my mother that I'll never know- perhaps it's because I was so young when she left and didn't understand it. And delayed grief- definitely delayed grief. Now everything's hit me. All at once.
Not wanting to accidently wake the babies, I silently run up the stairs to my room. I expected a repeat of the episode of tears I had when returning to the Orphanage earlier, but I'm surprised when they don't seem to come out.
I end up sitting on my bed and stare into space. I can't shed the tears much, even though they're gathering up. A few escape the prison of sadness that are my eyes, and slide themselves down my still partly red cheeks.
The darkness in my room is welcomed by me for once. I used to hate it- somehow the blackness always used to make me think about the horrors of my life. But now it's calming. My sea of thoughts, which would have caused me pain to think in my right state of mind, feel blank. It's as if I've worn them all out. The darkness seems to ease my sensitive mind and thoughts.
I just... don't know what to do anymore. If only he hadn't been at the office today- I might not have been feeling this crap right now. I don't feel anything anymore.
"Kayla! Jordan's here early!" an excited voice said. It's so annoying when you're miserable and someone else is happy, but I can't really be bothered by that right now.
I blink, snapping back to life and reality. Has it been that long? I've been sitting her for an hour or so? What did she say? Jordan's here early? But he can't be. He lives in Seattle- that's hours away.
I wipe my eyes as I hurry down the stairs to tell her she must've got the wrong person. I can tell my cheeks are still slightly red, but hopefully it'll just look like a blush- I'm scared that I'll just start crying if one of the supervisors asks me what's wrong.
I stop in shock halfway down the stairs, seeing who's at the door. Jordan's smiling and talking politely with one of the supervisors, showing her what's in the picnic basket he's carrying.
I don't think about anything else, and run down the rest of the stairs. His face turns to me and lights up. I just jump on him, throwing my arms around his neck tightly. I've missed him so much, even if it has been only a few weeks since I've last seen him. So much has happened since then.
"Woah, easy, honey," I hear him chuckle, but I can detect the worry hidden beneath his voice.
Just for now, I can't be bothered saying that I'm fine, like I always do whenever he asks me how I am.
I completely ignore everything apart from the strong hug he's giving me, and just let myself be comforted by my big brother again with tears in my eyes.