A Nanny Fairy Tale
Chapter 4: What they say
Sir Niles was a man of habits.
He could visit the forest when he felt it was needed, spend the night wandering, and soon he recovered his hours of sleep, through a very well organized schedule.
He exercised, he ate well, he was strong and muscular for his age. He always did everything correctly, at the right time, and felt good about all of his decisions.
But tonight he couldn't sleep, and it was so unusual it was worrying him.
His body felt feverish as it hasn't been for decades.
Niles had learned how to control his physical desire very early in his life. His parents sent him to be educated in a monastery, and it made him very cultured but created the necessity of running from sexual desire, in order to not be put to shame in front of audiences.
With time and the perception that physical desire could destroy lives and reputations, he decided to think about his situation as a blessing from God: he would not interact with any other person sexually; if God wanted him to have a sexual partner, he would put a loveable woman on his path. If not, God would preserve him from any perils.
It had been working well for decades, but tonight this was not so clear.
The curves of the blond woman didn't cease to torment his thoughts. The way her lips moved, the tone of her voice, everything seemed to be fixed on him, and sleep would not come.
Niles entertained the thought of punishing his body. He had some instruments for it, but he didn't need to use them for years. In fact, the idea of using them was disgusting to him since he was a teenager.
What was different about tonight?
Sir Niles was dressed on a sleeveless full body gown he loved, and he looked at his bare arms: he was a strong and healthy man. He had had some women in his life… well, he had had five women in his life… The last one, more then ten years ago… He had convinced himself he didn't need that to live, and things seemed to be running smoothly until now. His duties to the Royal Family were fulfilling enough, weren't them?
He took a little whip from a box that was in a recess of his wardrobe, took a seat on his bed and breathed deeply. There was something weird about this situation: why was it wrong for a man to feel the pleasures of the body?
The fact he felt desire when thinking of that woman, and that he should inflict pain on himself to provide it was taken away was… absurd…
Suddenly he felt a strong urge to go to his window and see if she was there, in the meadows which marked the back end of the Castle's dominions.
It was not a logical thing to think or even hope, but the fact was he had a strong pull to check it out.
He went to the window and looked through the darkness.
And there she was: a barely visible figure enlightened by the torches on the Castle's walls.
Sir Niles closed his eyes, feeling invaded by the happiness of the simple thought of her being so close to him. He supported himself on the wall of his room, feeling the cold stone under his fingertips and basking in the feeling of meeting her again, even if it was like this, with such a distance between them.
He sighed, deciding he would be there time enough for her to give him some sign. He needed this reassurance – a sign she went there to see him and really got to see him – to guarantee his peace of mind. It was like his desire was not as disturbing as it seemed some moments before, because she was there – and something that was reciprocated could not be wrong.
He felt a light breeze touch his skin and shivered. How he wished he could be there to see her closer, her skin illuminated by the hot light of the torches, and her eyes enlightened by the cold light of the moon…
Maybe he would be able to listen to her deep voice again…
What a pity he had his sleep hours to recover; if it was not for them, he would surely run to meet her…
But the Castle's gate was closed and guarded, and he couldn't go to that area without arousing suspicion…
With his eyes still closed, he tried to imagine ways of getting out of the Castle, and didn't have any good idea that didn't involve telling lies and/or sneaking out with a lot of risks.
Suddenly, Sir Niles felt like he was a damsel locked in a tower, in a room made of stone, waiting for a savior.
Wasn't it a terrible thing the only person in the world he wished that would rescue him was a witch?
'Missed me?'
He opened his eyes at the voice, only to discover that there he was, in front of her.
Initially, Niles looked around, uncertain of how he had come to the meadows. He turned to his own window, and couldn't see anyone there. Maybe he had made the escape he had fantasized about…
He gave up trying to understand what had happened and turned his attention to the woman facing him. She had a strange sweet… smirk.
'Are you a good or a bad witch?', he asked, wary.
'I'm worst than bad. I'm the kind who pretends she cares', she got closer to him, and he noticed she had a small white flower on her hand, 'because it will be delightful to stomp your heart, after'.
'You're not having the opportunity to do that', he answered, trying not to shiver when she made the flower touch delicately the skin of his arm, going up and down slowly.
'The opportunity is already given. You desired to meet me. Every time we're this close, the stronger the pull will be'.
'You have no power over me, devious woman. Your tricks won't affect my loyalty to the King'.
'You're just a low servant', she said, turning from him. 'I don't know why I still keep giving you time'.
Niles had mixed feelings about her giving her back to him: he missed the closeness and the touch of the flower on his skin, but now he could concentrate better. 'Maybe the reason is you wish to understand me as much as I wish to understand you'.
She hesitated. Then her voice sounded harsh. 'Don't be such a fool. There's nothing to understand about you. You're just an old maid'. She turned to him again, this time with a vicious gleam in her eyes. 'In any sense it has'.
Niles blushed furiously. He wasn't prepared for her to know about his… situation. 'Maybe you're right. Maybe there is nothing to know about me. And maybe there is nothing to know about you, too. We're just two plain characters who have not to offer to each other'. He gave a step towards her. 'Just go ahead and do your satanic rituals'.
'What?'
'Kill me'. He smirked at her surprised expression. 'I'm telling you I won't change my mind. I'll support the King in his decisions. Just kill me and take me away from your path'. He grew serious. 'Forever'.
The flower appeared in her hand again, and she resumed using it on the skin of his arms. 'I'm not so sure about it yet'.
'About killing me?', he made an effort to keep his voice from trembling. He wanted badly that she threw that flower away and touched him with her fingers, but he knew part of the enchantment was in wanting and not having.
When the thought crossed his mind, she stopped the flower's motions and looked him in the eye. 'So, you think this is a magic trick?'
'You don't know what I think'.
'It's easy to see. It is written all over your face. You think I'm playing hard to get, so you'll feel your desire grow until you'll do anything I want'.
Silence. He couldn't deny that was very close to what he was thinking.
'Well, Clever Knight, this time you're mistaken'. She got even closer to him. 'I know you're a loyal and distinguished man, and that you would never let me have my way if you thought it was wrong'.
Silence again. Niles felt her hot and minty breath on his face, and didn't know anymore if he should be resisting.
She proceeded. 'In fact, I trust you to mediate my conversations with your King. I believe you can do it better than anyone else'.
'What is it that you want?', he asked, and his voice was hoarse in a way he didn't expect.
'Can't you tell, yet?'
'I don't have your divinatory powers'.
'I'm not used to ask favors, but I may need your help'.
'I will not be of any help to you'.
'Exactly'.
He frowned, confused, indicating she had to explain herself better.
'I'm sure you'll be doing it by your free will. The fact it is exactly what I want won't even pass through your mind…'
Niles detected the danger in her mellifluous tone of voice and gave a step back, thinking of delusive sirens of old legends. 'I already said it. You have no power over me. I have my beliefs and I won't change them for you'.
It seemed to have hurt her more than he intended. She was suddenly furious, her hands on her hips. 'I loathe you'.
He clenched his fists. 'I despise you'.
'Servant!'
'Trollop!'
'Galahad!'
'What?'
'The Chaste'.
Oh. 'Morgana!'
'The Fay?'
'The Traitor'.
She groaned and threw herself at him. Her initial intention was not clear even to her, because in a moment all she could think was of taking away that superior air he had all over him, no matter what… but in the next moment she was feeling her body colliding to his, chest to chest, legs to legs, and she let his left hand take her right wrist and force her arm down, while his right hand took possession of her left hand, where the little white flower was…
They were nose to nose, eyes locked, breathing intensely, and she lost all rational thinking.
He slowly brought his lips upon hers.
She let him do it, because she saw him close his eyes and trust her so openly it didn't feel right not to surrender…
The kiss was long and very tender, even if there were tongues involved: it was more sensual than sexual, in nature, because they were enjoying the taste of the other without no hurry and, mostly, without trying to rationalize it.
They parted after what seemed an eternity, both feeling dazed and kind of supporting themselves on each other's bodies.
Niles looked into her eyes and saw she was as disturbed as he was. He opened his mouth to say something he still didn't have any idea of what would be, but she quickly got her right wrist free and put her hand on his mouth.
Her eyes told him not to say anything. He understood and obeyed, closing his mouth and making her shiver by the feeling of his lips moving under her palm to kiss sweetly her sensitive skin.
She made an effort and her hand went higher, until it was covering his eyes. He felt her other hand squeeze his, and her voice close to his ear, in a pleading tone. 'Trust me'.
Suddenly, the presence was over, he opened his eyes and he was in his room, next to the window, the cold rocks circling him as a cage.
He looked at the meadows and there was no one there.
Sir Niles, the Clever, smiled like a fool when he opened his right hand to see the white little flower that was there.