Title: What Happened When the Potters Malfoys and a Lone Scamander Visited the Burrow
Pairing: Albus/Scorpius/Lysander
Rating: PG 13
Summary: That title's pretty self explanatory
Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and publishers. No offense is meant by this fan fiction and this is made purely for fun.
Word Count: ~2800 (I have no idea what happened!)
"I know, I know," Mop said in a frustrated tone. "Dad, I'm going to talk to Mum tonight, don't worry. I just want to get through the check up first before I worry about anything else. Please."
Harry closed his eyes, sighed and nodded. "Just, make sure you tell her. I don't want to spend an extended amount of time convincing her that this is something she should hear from you. I don't know how many times I can rephrase the same thing so she can understand I'm not doing it to torment her," Harry said, with a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes. "And after that commotion with Amelia she and Lily are barking up my arse about what the bloody hell is going on. Luckily for you Amelia was too upset to go into detail. She apparently just kept insulting you and demanding to know your whereabouts."
"So I have to retell the whole story?" Mop asked. Scorpius pinched his nose and shook his head at the idiot.
"Yes," Harry said. He looked at his son as if he did not know what to do with him.
"Mom might not hex me, but Lily probably will," Mop sighed. "You're coming with me, because they're both going to throw a fit and you know it's hard enough to deal with one of them already."
"You have got to be joking, Mop," Scorpius said, frustrated. How difficult was it to simply tell the two women what had happened? Astoria had dealt with it fairly well, especially since he had brought her an exquisite bottle of wine for her to be able to drink while he reiterated the recent events.
"He's not," Harry frowned. "They've got Molly's temper."
"I've seen," Lysander winced.
"Like that howler Weasley got that one time in school," Pansy chortled, "Absolutely embarrassing that was. It's a shame She-Weas...ley, inherited the trait. Anyway, I'm done now. Scamander's back to normal. Scorpius is near normal again. Potter's developed a womb but its barren, which is pretty lucky for him since none of you want a child just yet and the egg was fertilized."
"Thank Merlin," Potter breathed.
Beside him Lysander let out a relieved sigh, as did Draco and Harry. Scorpius smiled at their fortune. Now, if only they could get out of the actual bond then everything would be perfect, but they could not, and they would not. He was perfectly fine with settling for this though. The prospect of a child was not something he was very open to at the moment, though if it had happened he would have kept to his word and cared for it.
"Well, I must say, you Malfoy's and Potter's always find yourselves in the most absurd situations. Scamander, I went to Hogwarts with your mother when she was Looney Luna, I'd be surprised if your life had any sort of normalcy to it," Pansy commented. "This was fun though, for me. "
"Pansy," Draco chided.
"It's basically over now," she said. "I don't have to be nice any more. And it's not like you paid me, Draco, darling. This was a favour."
"Of which you owed me," his father said.
"Technicalities" she said dismissively. "Now, Potter, don't stop taking that potion it'll help speed along your regression. When your supply finishes that's fine, that's a couple days from now."
"Right, so I just have to keep taking my potions, figure out where I'm going to live, find a way to get my things from the flat and tell Mom and Lily about this whole thing," Mop listed out.
"At least you aren't pregnant, Mop," he said.
"That would have been ... awkward," Lysander admitted, as he glanced Scorpius' way. They had talked about it and they had argued over it and Scorpius was glad that the continuous stress that would have stemmed from that pregnancy had been mostly avoided.
"Oh, I know," Potter said.
"Now," Draco said, "Onward to The Burrow, the lot of you."
Scorpius turned to his father with question in his eyes and was met with a raised brow and a slight smirk. He and Harry were planning to announce all the news to the Weasley's at one time. That meant that Scorpius, Lysander and Mop's story would likely draw unnecessary drama from Draco and Harry, or vice versa depending on the order in which the announcements were made. That or the entire house would be filled with shocked silence.
"It's Sunday..." Potter said, as if it held meaning. He turned to Harry and repeated the statement "It's Sunday. When I said I'd tell Mum tonight I didn't mean at family dinner..."
"I know, Albus," Harry said, as he walked over to them. "But its best we deal with this all at once, instead of quelling Weasley's every few days." With that said Harry grabbed onto Scorpius and Lysander and apparated them to the most gravity defying building Scorpius had ever set eyes on.
"How is magic even keeping that upright," he asked, as he observed The Burrow.
"To be honest I've never been sure," Harry said.
"Well, I did delve into Architectural Magic for one of my projects-" Lysander started, but Harry held a hand up and shook his head.
"Maybe right now isn't the best time for a lesson. They're shorter than Hermione's by far but I think we'll have enough to deal with after we get inside," Harry said. Scorpius half wanted to hear the rest of the story though, perhaps he would ask later.
With a slight pop Mop and Scorpius' Father appeared outside the wards of The Burrow and made their way towards them. Draco said something about Mop not wanting to Apparate there so he had to do it himself. Mop justified his actions by outlining that there would be a house full of people that were not going to be pleased with their situation and half that house would not be pleased with Harry and Draco's news either. They were supposedly walking to their deaths, though Scorpius thought that to be a severe exaggeration.
"Albus, calm down," Lysander said. "I reckon you're just sexually frustrated right now, is all."
"Sexually frustrated?" Mop repeated, as his father knocked on the door.
"Well, you haven't shagged either of us since the bonding and now you don't have any potential pregnancies stressing you," said Lysander.
"So then why aren't either of you getting snappish?" Potter asked.
"They've had one another to shag," Draco supplied. Harry turned around to glance at them with a pinched face. Scorpius reckoned he did not appreciate the mental image.
"Don't get it wrong, we're still randy for you since neither of us has gotten to shag you. But we've compensated with one another," he said. The door to The Burrow squeaked opened.
"Molly!" Harry said with relief. "Good to see you." They all turned and watched as Harry hugged the plump woman, Mop sighing and moving forwards before they followed.
"Harry, dear," Mrs. Weasley said, as she held him tightly. She was greying but still had streaks of red in her hair. She looked like your stereotypical storybook grandmother. "Albus, dear, how've you been? I heard you had a nasty break up. Your mother's been worried sick about where you were. This one here apparently wasn't much help."
"Hi, Gran," Mop said, smiling awkwardly as he hugged her. "Don't worry I'll explain it all. I'm fine though and Dad really didn't know where I was."
"Hmph, thick as thieves you two are. Always teaming up like this," she said. She glanced at Scorpius and the others and failed to hide the shock on her face before she smiled at them "Lysander, Malfoys, well, come on in. I reckon I'll eventually hear why you're here too."
They all entered The Burrow and Mrs. Weasley hugged Lysander and asked him about his family before they made their way to the front room. Scorpius marvelled at the number of people that fit in the small space. The home was a great deal more relaxed than the Manor and the smell of food filled the air. The only thing about it that was unsettling was the sheer number of Mop's relatives that were doing double takes when they saw him and his father. The Malfoy-Weasley feud was not nearly as strong as it had been during his father's time but it was a finicky thing that could easily revert to its former malice, though the involvement of Potters lessened the chance.
"Albus, there you are," Miss Weasley said, as she wiped her hands on a towel and moved to hug him. "Where have you been? Amelia came to the house yesterday day in a fit and I hadn't heard anything from you."
"I'm fine Mum, you don't need to worry," Mop said. "And I'm actually here to explain everything."
The woman studied her son for a moment before she nodded. She shot a stern glance at Harry, nodded curtly at Scorpius and his father. Lysander got a more welcoming acknowledgement before she turned back to Mop. "Before or after dinner?"
"Uhm... " Mop hesitated.
Mop glanced at Harry before he answered. "After should be good," Harry said. Miss Weasley looked at him as if she was about to ask something.
"Brilliant," Mop said. "I was opting for then as well."
Once everyone's dishes had been put away, or cast aside, Potter's mother gave him that look mother's tend to give when they expect an explanation of you. The man sighed and glanced at Harry, who nodded for him to go first, before he headed to the fireplace.
"Uh, yeah," Mop started. "So, a few of you have asked me about the Amelia situation and in true, terrifying, Weasley tradition I'm telling you all in one go." Scorpius and Lysander stayed seated in the couch and watched Potter fumble for words.
"Well, go on then," Ron Weasley said. "It's easier if you just say it quickly."
"Agreed," said Hugo. The two sounded as if they were speaking from past experience.
"Right, well, I broke up with Amelia yesterday, which admittedly, could have gone better..." Mop grimaced. "The reason being that I... Well you see on Beltane I ended up bonding with-"
"You've bonded with someone?" Miss Weasley exclaimed. "Albus, it's been nearly two weeks since Beltane."
"Is she up the du-"
"Ronald," Granger-Weasley hissed, as she elbowed her husband sharply in his side.
"No one's pregnant, thank Merlin, don't get your knickers in a twist," Potter said. "And it's not so much a she as a... them."
Salazar, Mop could have at least found a more fluent way to do this. Scorpius stared flatly at Mop and Lysander covered his mouth with his hand as he watched.
"Them?" asked a number of people.
"Albus, you sly dog you," someone laughed before another scolded them.
"Yeah..." Mop said, and then he gestured vaguely to Scorpius and Lysander. Scorpius could imagine how Amelia had lashed out at Potter. His explanation probably provoked it. "Them."
"... Those two? Lysander and Malfoy?" Lily asked in shock, as she pointed vigorously at them. "You bonded with Malfoy? You bonded with blokes?"
"You're gay?" Louis asked.
"Albus," the man's mother said, in forced calm. "Is that what Amelia meant when she said you cheated on her? Because Beltane-"
"Well, actually..." Mop said, as he scratched his head. Lysander sighed and shook his head and Scorpius could not help himself, this was taking far too long.
"Mop's been having an affair with us," he said. "And no, none of us are pregnant, we've checked"
"What he said," Mop nodded.
"Really, Albus," Lysander sighed. "What he means to say is, we're bonded now and we'd like for you all to know first hand rather than hear it through the grapevine."
"Is that what you said I should hear from him myself?" Miss Weasley asked, rounding on Harry. "How did you even think to keep that from me Harry?"
"Good Godric," Lily breathed, at Mop. "You inconsiderate twat."
There was a noticeable uptake in chatter as people began to shoot questions and protestations across the room.
"The boy was already under a fair bit of stress, Ginny. He didn't need you harassing him when there was nothing else to be done," Harry said.
"Albus, how could you do that to Amelia?" Lily asked, arms flailing.
"Harass him? Why would you think I'd harass him?" the woman repeated, affronted. "And did you handle this properly? Get a proper Healer, a discreet one?"
"Lils, I- I really don't know. Could you not-" Mop said.
"A proper- Of course I did," Harry said. And it's not in the papers, now is it?"
"Such a fucking arse," Lily hissed, stabbing her finger in Mop's chest.
"As if I don't know that already," Mop admitted, shoving her hands away.
"Who was it?" Miss Weasley pressed.
"Mum," Mop sighed, jumping conversations as he held Lily off, "we had Parkinson treat us. And to Dad's benefit I wasn't ready to tell y-"
"Parkinson? A- Why not?"
"And how long has this been going on?"
"I'm just as much your parent as Harry!"
"And since when do you sleep with blokes?"
"All right," Mrs. Weasley said with a Sonorus. "Ginny, Lily, at least give the boy some time to answer the questions. Albus, I... I'm shocked really."
"Understatement," Louis muttered.
"Mum, your throwing a tantrum right now was exactly why I didn't want to tell you then. I was already up to my eye balls in stress and you would have lectured me to no end before anything was done. And Lily, what does it matter how long we've been having an affair the point is I did it and Beltane happened and that was that for my relationship with Amelia. And I know Hob and I don't get along well when we aren't trying to get in each other's pants-"
"Merlin," someone grimaced.
"-but all this fussing isn't going to help in any way. We can't get out of the bond. I'm stuck with Hob, and vice versa, but at least we've got Lysander to keep us in check."
"Albus, you can't have wanted any of this. You've never shown any interest in men before now," Miss Weasley said. She turned her attention Scorpius and Lysander then. "Did you do som-"
"Oi, oi, oi!" yelled the Weasley with one ear, as he noticed the way both Scorpius and Draco bristled. "How about-"
"Mom just because you're still pissed that Dad turned out to be g-"
"How about we all just calm down and have a drink, yeah? I reckon we can't do anything about that bond, its Fae magic after all. And who cares if Al shags blokes? He's a grown man. So, drinks?"
"I'm with George on that," Harry said. "And, I've also got a... ill timed announcement." The man slipped an arm around Draco's waist and pulled him close. Scorpius' father rolled his eyes despite the quirk of his lips. "Draco and I have been dating and we're pretty bloody serious too."
That announcement roused a new flood of protestations and a few congratulations.
"I knew it!" Ron Weasley yelled.
"Harry, what are you-"
"Weasley, seeing as you two aren't married I don't think it-"
"Oi!" the man named George yelled, "That one was good news! So, I'm re-enforcing my drinking suggestion! Children to bed with you! Everyone else, grab a pint! Anyone starts fussing and I'll use them as product testers."