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Book 4: Spirit

Chapter 1: Azula's Lost Days

Page 4 – Is Blood Thicker?

It was impossible to see anything. Bright bursts of blue and orange flames dominated everything. Their harsh brightness slamming everything else in dark relief as his retinas were over exposed. All that exists to his eyes are the flames and the figure standing right next to them. He taunts her, not because he wanted to hurt her. He wanted to defeat her, needed to defeat her, but he, despite everything just wanted to goad her into making a mistake, and ending this as quickly as possible. It worked and failed, like so many other things in his life. The bolt that he was prepared for, that he would make his own and refocus its purpose wasn't meant for him. Instead, the deadly lance of energy arched its way to his friend. He acted without thinking. He placed his mission in jeopardy and rescued her.

It was exactly what she wanted. He took the energy within him, but he was the one now unfocused. He barely managed to channel the comet enhanced lightning into his stomach, but with his rushed attempt some of the energy still crackled up into his heart. He pushed out as much of the energy as he could into the air, but he was still in bad shape. He remembered his friend rushing to help him, and heard more fire nearby. The laugh was the worst. It cackled, and it was devoid of any real thought. It was unlike her. It had no planning behind it, just a malicious glee. What has happened to my sister? He thinks. He turns to look and sees her charging his friend on bright blue flames bursting from her feet. He feels himself jostled hard and forces himself to sit up to defend her.

"Azula!" Zuko screams as he lances his arm out to Fire bend and to separate her and Katara. He blinks confused for a moment when all he sees in front of him are his bedchambers and Mai a little off to his side, her delicate looking hand gripped onto his wrist holding it away from her.

"You know Fire Lord, if it wasn't your sister's name being called out in your sleep I could be getting jealous. I suppose I should count myself lucky it wasn't the Water bender's name you called." Mai, with her eyes slightly open in shock from the near hit she took, spoke in her dry monotone, but Zuko knew her enough to hear the slight sarcasm to her voice. He also knew her enough to hear the tiny undercurrent of bitterness in her voice; he knew his sister was still a sore subject for her.

"Sorry Mai." Zuko rubbed his face a little trying to pull himself completely from his impromptu nap. "Just a bad dream."

Mai nodded her head very lightly. "The Agni Kai?"

Zuko's face scrunched up as if he smelled something disgusting. "If you can call it that, it was a fiasco." Zuko finally took notice of his surroundings. He was in his bed chambers, that he already knew, and he saw he was sitting at his desk with a stack of papers in front of him. He last remembered reading over the amount of troops stationed everywhere around the world. He was trying to distract himself from thinking of Azula, and he must have fallen asleep.

"Want to talk about it?" Mai's voice took on a patient rather than bored sound and Zuko looked back to her. He could not help but smile. She was standing there still in the flowing dress of dark burgundy she preferred, the rich folds of cloth no doubt previously concealing the dozens of knives he saw laid out on a table nearby. With her back to the window, the waning moon silhouetting her perfect and curved form, Zuko noticed how pale and perfect her skin was. Her eyes, grey orbs tinted with just a hint of the amber so common among Fire Nation women, matched her normally non expressive face. His smile faded slightly as he saw the dark circles under her eyes.

"What time is it?" He asked as he tried to avoid her question.

Her response was dry and to the point. "Some point late in the night, past half way between sunset and sunrise. Are you all right Zuko?" Her voice softened as she said his name, and her normally detached face twitched a tiny bit as her feelings caught up with her appearance.

"Yes I'm fine; no I don't want to talk about it." Mai's face flinched subtly and her face melted back into non-expressiveness. He frowned at himself, he didn't mean to sound harsh. He stood up and walked over to the wash basin and poured water from the silver vase and splashed it on his face. He turned to her as she waited patiently for him to respond. "I'm sorry Mai, I didn't mean to snap." He slouched and leaned back against his vanity. "I just don't know what to do any more." He sighed; he did not want to burden Mai with his problems, especially since Azula would not be her favorite person right now, and especially since she probably had been talking to Ty Lee all this time. Zuko knew the acrobat; she was quite capable of talking about her feelings for hours. "How is Ty Lee by the way?

Mai walked over and took a wash cloth dipped it in the water and demurely dabbed her face under her eyes. "She'll be alright. She just needs time." Zuko could hear the uncertainty in her voice; Mai was not lying so much as trying to convince herself. "As for you Zuko." She laid her hands against his face, gently caressing his cheeks and scar. "You need sleep, real sleep not stolen cat naps."

"But Mai…" He protested weakly. "So much needs to get done and…"

Mai cut him off. "But nothing Zuko, you won't be an effective leader if you are constantly exhausted."

"I'm not a good leader Mai." He huffed bitterly and looked down. He knew he wasn't. If it wasn't for Mai and the Fire Sages, he would have no idea what to do. That was the one thing now he wished he had of his monster of a father. At least Ozai knew the matters of state very well. "I'm Fire Lord now, and I can't do anything right Mai." His eyes closed. "The war is over; that was supposed to fix everything. My generals say some soldiers are threatening rebellion. Some have openly threatened the Avatar, me and you." His eyes open and flashed dangerously as he thought of anyone hurting Mai.

"Did you think it would be easy Zuko?" Mai asked with the patience one gives a young child. "You said it yourself when you were crowned the other day. A hundred years of war have left this world divided. The Fire Nation has been told it is the best country in the world and that it is our duty to bring that prosperity to the other nations." Mai clicked her tongue as she looked to Zuko ruefully. "You have said to everyone that, that was a lie. Not everyone will look kindly to that slap in the face. Even I thought you were a traitor, remember what I said to you at the Boiling Rock?" Zuko nodded. She shook her head and a small smile touched her lips as she looked at him. "This world doesn't need another diplomat. The Sun only knows we don't need someone like me making the decisions. We need someone who believes what he says. You belong on the throne; because you think you're humble, because you aren't a politician. That is what makes you a leader; you speak from your heart." She finished, lightly tapping his chest.

Zuko blinked, that was the most she ever spoke when she sounded emotional he managed another smile and kissed her lips softly. She returned it willingly and she broke apart from him and sighed as she laid her hands on his shoulders. "But that isn't why you won't sleep." She paused hesitantly her voice swaying back into her neutral tone. "It's about Azula isn't it?"

He sighed and nodded. "What am I supposed to do Mai? She's my sister."

"She is also a war criminal."

His eyes narrowed. "So is every other soldier not in the homeland. She has been nothing but dad's tool for so long. It's not her fault he warped her." He protested softly.

"She had a choice Zuko, just as you did." She challenged. "And yes I am still angry with her, and yes I am conflicted too, but you are Fire Lord now. You have a duty to your people. What about justice for them and everyone she's hurt?" Mai was a good politician; he was just about to say she said what she had because she was angry.

"But I have a duty to my family too. I can't just abandon her."

"Didn't she abandon you? Didn't your father?"

"I'm not like them." He turned and pulled from her wrapping his arms around himself tightly feeling a chill that wasn't caused by the warm air in the room. He looked into the mirror not seeing the scar but seeing the gold eyes that stared back from his father's and sister's face. "I am nothing like them."

"Thank the spirits for that" Mai said under her breath. "Do you at least know what you've narrowed yourself down to with her yet?" She asked. Zuko could tell how sympathetic she was. It took all his self control not to scream and yell at Sokka and Suki today when they said to leave her to rot. It was no surprise to him that Ty Lee had defended her, but it did surprise him that Katara defended her. But then, she was there with you Zuko. He thought. Maybe, Katara saw something in her worth salvaging.

"I don't want to leave her chained to a wall the rest of her life. That's cruel even for her." He shuddered. Katara and he were there when they secured her with the chains and mask. Well Katara had waited outside the cell when she was secured. He did not want to know what came over Azula when she woke up. That did not stop him from listening to the guards' reports though, and what he heard, chilled him to the bone.

"I have to agree, that is a bit much, but isn't that for her own safety as well as the guards'? She is one of the most dangerous Fire benders alive." Zuko was getting tired of Mai playing The Face Stealer's Advocate. It didn't help that she was right.

"Aang can take away her bending like he did to Dad, but I can't help but think that is just as cruel." Mai listened quietly. Zuko knew that Mai was keeping her opinion to herself and just gave Zuko the quiet to follow his train of thought. "But then she can be sent somewhere for help, without worrying about her burning the place down." Zuko's eyes shot open and he looked to her hopefully. "Or I can banish her like Father did me. That's what got me on the right path." His face fell. "But she's in no condition to be out of eye sight of anyone."

"That and you would have the other nations, especially the Earth Kingdom, screaming bloody murder." She added in her contemplative monotone.

Zuko's face twisted into bitterness. He looked away. "Justice shouldn't have to be mixed with politics."

Mai tenderly cupped Zuko's face again and gently turned his face to hers. "I know lover…" Mai's voice was tender and soft. "But that's how the world is right now. Maybe you can change it though, at least starting with the Fire Nation. It's your choice." Mai's eyes twinkled with a rare show of mischief. "But Fire Lord Zuko, this is not your choice." She cleared her throat. "I order you to go to bed!" Zuko could tell she suppressed a giggle and he smiled. "You will think much clearer in the morning. I promise you." She pulled Zuko by the arm to the bed and sat down. He hesitated.

"I didn't win Mai."

Mai looked to her, her eyes narrowed a bit in confusion. "Win what Zuko?" She asked as she undid the two buns in her hair.

"The Agni Kai, Azula had beaten me. She shot at Katara and I reacted. I jumped in front of the lightning. I was on the ground helpless." Zuko looked down again. "Katara interfered. She beat Azula not me. The Agni Kai should not have counted, but I still claimed the crown."

Mai looked to Zuko, her eyes were narrowed, no doubt with new anger at Azula. Her eyes softened before responding. "You may have not won technically, Zuko, but Azula was dishonorable in her attack. You didn't claim the crown because you won some silly duel. You claimed the crown because the people need you, not her. Never forget that. I didn't believe you when you said you were doing this for your country at the Boiling Rock, but I believe you now. I would rather put my nation's life in your hands Fire Lord Zuko." With that, Mai pulled harder and Zuko followed his arm to the bed and into sleep.

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Katara had no idea what possessed her to make the trip, but she found herself standing in front of the prison. She was actually surprised that they had a prison this close to the palace. She had wondered how Zuko had been able to run from the palace to where his Uncle was supposed to be kept when Zuko had told them of how he spent the Day of Black Sun.

That was then, but now Katara found herself here. It was an imposing structure that looked like a vulture-wasp hive. It was a near spiral upwards dotted with windows. A large door gave access to it across a drawbridge which itself was protected by a massive wall. She drew the cloak tightly around herself and made sure the hood was secured. She was grateful she had found the traveling cloak. She was also amazed that her wardrobe had a choice between a red cloak and a blue cloak. She started to hate the color red with a passion by now, but had chosen the red for fear of appearing out of place. This was not a good time for foreigners to be alone. Many Fire Nation nationals took offense to anyone who was different now that Zuko had proclaimed them not the best nation in the world.

She made her way to the prison as confidently as possible. She kept her back straight as she made her way to the two guards that watched over the prison. Predictably they stopped her. "Ma'am I'll have to see written orders to allow you to pass."

Katara frowned; she had not thought this through. Why did she assume she could get in so easily? What was she to do now? Should she try to bluff her way in, or should she walk off? Katara did not think that walking off would be good. Oh I'm sorry I must have the wrong address. Katara thought, sarcastically, that would work swimmingly with the guards. If she tried to lie she could be found out. She hated lying anyways. Maybe she could try a middle ground?

She slipped her hood off her face. "I am Katara of the Water Tribe. I have come to examine Zuko…" She swallowed suddenly realizing her mistake as the guard's eyes narrowed. "…Fire Lord's sister." She prayed they didn't notice her slip with Zuko's name. She still wasn't used to thinking of him as 'Fire Lord'.

"Zuko?" The guards were clearly suspicious they noticed the obvious pause in her use of his name and title.

Katara's heart raced. She did not want to be caught and have to spend the night in a holding cell and try to explain this to anyone. She really did not want Zuko to know she came here. After her talk with Li, Katara wandered aimlessly, and found herself making her way here. She did not know why she wanted to see Azula, but she felt it was something she should do. Now she tried to come up with a lie on the spot. "I am sorry I forget where I am at times. It is proper etiquette in the Water Tribes to say a person's name first and then their title." She did not know where it came from as she tried desperately to remember all the times Toph used her family to wriggle her way around officials. She pointed to herself for emphasis. "Katara, Lady." She tried not to wince at how thin her story was.

The one guard who seemed to be in charge narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. His gruff voice cut through her hopes like a water whip. "I am sorry miss but unless you have written orders I cannot allow you access into the prison, especially this late. I can send a runner to the palace if your orders are critical but I cannot…"

Katara was surprised when the next guard interrupted. "I recognize you." Katara clearly was shocked by this. "Ember Island. That play. You're the Water bender that was seeing the Fire Lord when he was in exile again."

Katara's face flushed red. She hated that play with a passion but if it helped her get in. She nodded. "That's not how it completely happened, but yes that was me she played." She tried to give them her biggest smile.

The other guard considered. "Was it true that you're a healer and you un-brainwashed that one kid, what was his name…? Onyx?"

Katara suddenly felt a pain in her chest as her smile deserted her. She lowered her voice softly. "Jet. His name was Jet." She was so choked up with emotion that she had to swallow a few sobs at the painful memory.

The guards looked to each other and leaned in close and discussed something quietly amongst them selves and nodded and looked back to her. The head guard spoke in his gruff voice. "We normally don't allow anyone in here without orders, but as you are close personal friends with the Fire Lord and a healer come to check on a royal prisoner. We will let you pass. Quan Chin will escort you." He nodded opened the door and the other guard led the way.

Katara never liked prisons. They were depressing places as she looked at all the people either asleep in their cells or eyeing her dangerously. Finally they came to a heavy steel door and that was opened. Two guards stood behind it guarding another door. Quan Chin led her in and explained that she was here to see the princess.

"…but the prisoner is asleep for once. Why see her now?" One of Azula's guards said.

"Well they do get the reports each day. Maybe they know she's worse than a dragon when she's awake?" This satisfied the two guards who quietly opened the door and she made her way inside. The room clearly had no windows and she could barely make out Azula from the flickering torches that adorned the walls on either side of the guards on the other side of the door.

What Katara saw, nearly made her ill. Azula was chained spread eagled against the wall. She still had her tunic on, though her armor had been removed. Her face was still encased in a metal mask. Katara knew that was to deter a bender from breathing fire. It made Azula look truly like a monster or some sort of hideous doll. She winced as she took in the ex-princess's mangled and matted hair. Her eyes looked swollen even under the low light as if she had been crying or been getting no sleep what-so-ever. The only fixtures in the room were an unused cot, a bucket of water and a chamber pot. She asked the guards what she had been doing.

"She usually screams or cries herself to sleep. Thrashing around and the like. Lady Katara, err Katara, Lady." Katara could not muster the mirth to smile. Quan Chin must have told them about 'Water Tribe' etiquette while she was lost in her thoughts. "She's too dangerous to be loose when we're in there. It's bad enough that we can't fetch her pot until she goes to sleep." Katara winced and turned back to Azula. The chains that bound her wrists, which Katara noticed left red marks on her skin, disappeared into slits in the walls. She turned back to the guards.

"I want you two to lower her enough slack so I can examine her back and leave the room for a few minutes." Katara saw them look hesitantly and she nodded to them. "I'll be alright" They saluted, lowered the former princess to an angle and stepped on the other side of the door.

She was alone with Azula. She walked over to her and looked. Even asleep, she could see the worry and fidgeting on Azula's face, as if she was having a nightmare. She looked closer to her face and saw that she had tear stains down her eyes, and could see them darting frantically under her eye lids. Katara felt the overwhelming wave of pity crash against her spirit. Azula truly looked helpless and pathetic. She understood Ty Lee's anguish allot better now that she saw Azula. She sighed softly and whispered to herself. "What are we supposed to do for you Azula?" She hated this woman. Hated what she nearly did and did, but Ty Lee was right. She did not deserve to spend the rest of her life like this, and she could not help but feel for her. There's just something in there vulnerable and, human. She thought as she looked at her

She tore her eyes from her face and looked to her back. Even through the tunic Katara could see the bunched up muscles that were cramping. Katara knew those cramps must be causing Azula great discomfort. She sighed. She could not heal her mind, but maybe she could heal her body somewhat. She bent water from her pouch and coiled it around her hands, she placed her hands on her back, and the water started to glow a soft blue, filling the room with a soft cool light.

Katara worked on the strained muscles, forcing them to relax, and putting enough pressure with the water on her back and shoulders to crack the joints back into place. Her muscles and back were so stressed and popped so much that it sounded like when she poured milk on top of puffed rice.

Azula groaned softly in her sleep first in pain and then steadily more relaxed as her face went more and more slack as Katara Healed. Katara was having a problem with the last joint in her neck. It finally slipped into place with a loud pop that seemed to stir Azula into semi wakefulness.

"Huh…?" Azula's eyes started to drift open just as Katara finished the last joint.

Katara panicked and did the only thing she could think of. "Shhh…." She whispered in the softest tone she could give, like the sound she would use to get a baby back home to sleep as she rubbed a hand gently up and down Azula's newly straightened back.

"Thi… thirsty…" Azula mumbled half aware; her eyes desperately fighting to stay open but her body fighting to go back to sleep. Katara gently brought the water she used to heal up to Azula's lips and offered the Fire bender some. She drank the offered water and Katara took her hand away and bent the water back into the pouch when she seemed finished and quickly, but quietly, made her way back to the door and knocked gently on it to be let out. She started to walk out when she heard Azula speak again.

"Thank you… mother." Azula spoke softly, her voice soft, grateful, and half dreamily asleep. Katara was shocked as she never expected a voice, so sincere and human to come out of Azula. She looked back to the princess, eyes threatening to tear over as she turned and walked out of the cell. Hearing the door close behind her, she swore she could hear Azula softly crying as she left the prison. Katara vowed that she would do something. She could not leave Azula like this.