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Book 4: Spirit

Chapter 1: Azula's Lost Days

Page 7 – The Drowned Flame

Azula stared in absolute shock as she gaped at Zuko. What's he doing here!? Azula thought angrily. She felt her shock slip away and her eyes narrowed. Her lips curled into a snarl behind her mask. This was the person that had stolen her throne. This was the person that had stolen her friends. This was the person that had stolen her father, her mother, her entire life and her soul from her.

"What do you want?" She hissed out with as much venom in her voice that she could muster as she tensed completely solid. The chains that encircled her clinked as they shook from her trembling muscles.

Zuko took in her prison cell. Probably, he was smirking inwardly at how squalid her conditions were. Azula felt her rage surge. She could feel her back knot up again as she kept her muscles tightened like a coiled spring. "I have come to tell you, your sentence." He answered in a fake calmness.

"Oh? My sentence? What right do you have to judge me!?" Azula snapped. "You are nothing but a thief and a cheater and a traitor!" Azula took in deep breathes.

"I thought it better that I came to tell you myself, rather than send a messenger. You have done allot of terrible things and need to answer for them." He said softly. Zuko looked to her in a strange way that Azula did not recognize, but it was a soft look. It was very similar to the way she remembered he used to look at their mother. Azula realized what it was and she smirked behind her mask. He was thinking of their dear mother. Zuko was finally going to get his revenge on her because he blamed Azula that their mother abandoned him. She found it pathetic.

"Oh how gracious of you Fire Lord Zuzu. Come to gloat over your victory?" She put as much sarcasm in her voice as she could. She almost smiled when she saw the corners of his lips twitch, almost into a frown. She knew how much he hated that nickname. Her smirk left her face and her temper rose. "Come to gloat how you stole my throne and my life!?" She yelled at him.

"No one stole anything from you Azula." Zuko said in that forced calm he always used when he tried to seem more grown up than he was, his eyes twitched again.

"Can't even believe your own lies dear brother?" Azula hissed. "What do you call this?" She asked as she shook her chains as best she could. "You stole my throne!" She shook with rage as she bit her lip before trembling again. She felt her shoulders sag against her will with defeat. "You stole everything from me. I have nothing left you can take." She slumped fully; her eyes downcast as she shook her head. "You couldn't even give me the honor of a quick death in the Agni Kai your water bitch stole for you."

She looked up almost hopeful. She did her best to melt her face into snide disrespect. It was not difficult considering who she was talking to. "Unless dear brother you came to rectify that? Am I to be executed? Are you going to finally slay the evil monster and be the hero you always wanted to be?" She looked at him as defiantly as possible hoping. Please let him say…

"No." He said softly. "But it was discussed. The Earth Kingdom in particular nearly demanded you be executed for your conquest of Ba Sing Sei and when they somehow learned you were the one who said to burn the country to the ground." Azula felt her hope perish. "It was also discussed that you be imprisoned for the rest of your life in here."

Azula smirked as she bit back the fear she felt in her heart. She truly was going to be in this awful place the rest of her life. She would not cry. She would not give Zuko the satisfaction. She would let him see how true nobility reacted in the face of adversity. "Already too much of a coward to finish what you started Zuko?" She could not help the anger that flooded into her. "Just going to leave me here to rot as your personal trophy?"

He held up a hand to silence her as she just glared. Azula could see how worn his eyes were. Azula assumed it was because he already was failing to live up to the expectations of being Fire Lord. "I have decided that in the interest of justice for all concerned…" Azula smirked almost snorting with scorn. As if Zuko knew anything about justice. Justice would be allowing her to be the Fire Lord that the Fire Nation deserved. "…that you be imprisoned for an unspecified amount of time until such time that your debt to the Fire Nation is repaid." He lowered his hand and looked to her.

Azula could not believe this. He had the gall to say she let her nation down? That she owed the Fire Nation anything? She felt her limbs tighten up again. "I never let my home down once Zuko. I have spent my entire life being loyal to the Fire Nation."

"No Azula. You have spent your life being loyal to a cruel and heartless man." Zuko said calmly.

"Father and the Fire Nation are the same thing!" Azula shouted. "That's what this is about isn't it? Because Father loved and valued me and not you! You never had what it took to be Fire Lord and Father saw that!" Azula felt her heart beating rapidly against her chest, felt it slamming against her breast bone as she panted heavily. "What's the matter Zuzu? Couldn't take just stealing Mother from me, that you had to steal Father away from me and leave me here? Father is the rightful ruler and he appointed me Fire Lord not you!" She spat at him. The spittle dribbled down her face down the same dried path from when she spat at Ty Lee.

"You will not be left here." Zuko spoke raising his voice loud enough to cut through Azula's dressing down. Azula's indignation that Zuko dared to interrupt her died as she looked at him with uncertainty. "The Mechanist is currently working on a cell specifically to hold you right now. With some of the Earth benders helping him it should be ready in the next day or two." Azula felt her indignation flare up again. She was to spend the rest of her life in some Earth bender scum's work? She narrowed her eyes more as he went on. "You should know your bending was difficult to deal with. The Avatar was nearly required to take away your bending to keep you safe to work with, and if the Mechanist's cell doesn't work…"

Azula's rage broke down completely as she ignored the rest of his words. He had the nerve to come in here and mock her? He had the nerve to throw her stolen bending in her face and say it was required. Did he really think she would not have noticed the Avatar already ripped her Fire from her? She shook and her muscles tensed. Her eyes closed, and, desperately, she tried to keep the tears from flowing as she screamed at Zuko at the top of her lungs. "You filthy lizard-swine, how dare you?! I'm the Fire Lord not you! Daddy trusted me to do this. Not you! You had no right to take it away from me!" She writhed more in her chains. She cried again. Why was she crying in front of Zuko? Tears freely flowed once more down her face. She hurt so bad feeling the aching hole in her soul where her bending had been. "How dare you mock me! How dare you steal everything that ever meant anything to me! I hate you! I wish you were dead!" She screamed and ranted as she tried to lunge for him again. She shrieked as she felt her shoulder start to slip out of its socket and slide back in as she slid back against the wall.

Her vision was so blurry, and her wails so loud she could barely hear Zuko blathering on more. "You… you will be moved immediately upon the completion of your new cell."

Azula had no concept of how long she cried and wailed. Eventually she went numb and looked up. Zuko had already gone. She had no idea what time it was. Without her connection to the Sun she thought bitterly, she could not even feel what time it was. She sniffled again. She felt nothing but shame. How could she have let Zuko get that kind of satisfaction from her? She had broken down completely. That's all he wanted from her. Zuko blamed her for everything. Azula knew he blamed her for Father loving her more, but how was that her fault? She was better than him at everything. Zuko blamed her for Mother leaving, but that was his fault for being so weak that Father would have killed him. How was that her fault? Mother did not even love Azula. She left without even saying good bye to her.

She was going to spend the rest of her life in some cell that Zuko was designing just for her. She shuddered as she started to cry softly. She knew what she would build for Zuko. Is that what her fate was going to be? What if Zuko was not as soft hearted as she once thought? She slumped frightened as she cried more. All she wished right now was the half remembered feeling of a hand rubbing on her back telling her it was going to be okay.

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The prison routine passed with agonizing slowness the next two days. Four visits from the feeders and four trips to the chamber pots. She was so frightened into numbness that she simply let the guards feed her without issue. Everything in her life had just gone wrong. How could where she was going be worse than here? She thought about that every moment, and it chilled her to the bone.

Azula sighed piteously. What had she done to deserve having all this happen to her? All anyone ever wanted to do was to hurt or abandon her. No one cared for her. Even Father saw what she was in the end. She was a failure. Zuko had been better than her. It was a bitter pill to swallow. The door opened on the morning of the third day since Zuko had issued his proclamation. It was one of her guards. She smirked a bit in a humorless fashion. Her guards, how many times had she thought that exact phrase? Before it would have meant her servants now, it simply meant her jailors.

"It's time to go." He said simply as four more guards came in. She felt the chains loosen and she fell to the ground. They surrounded her; their arms extended in their stance. She tightened up. They were mocking her. She was being mocked by prison guards. Treating her as if they thought she could do anything. She was helpless, and they rubbed her face in it. The guard that addressed her came forward, his armor concealing his face as he shackled her wrists and ankles together before undoing the cuffs already on her. They left her mask on and two of the guards pulled her roughly to her feet. She did not even have the will to resist or to move her feet as they dragged her.

They dragged her to the exit from the prison. She idly wondered if this is what Ty Lee and Mai had experienced when she ordered her guards to lock them away. It doesn't matter. They deserved it. They betrayed me. She thought. She pulled her head up. This was not the way a princess acted in defeat. She would not be dragged like some broken commoner. While they waited for other guards to open the heavy door she pushed her legs and stood up. She felt her legs go wobbly as she had not stood for any length of time recently. She bit her lip unseen under her mask waiting for the throngs of people that would surely be there to watch the Great and Esteemed Princess Azula be carted off like a mongrel.

To say she was surprised would have been an understatement. Her eyes widened. Before her, just outside of the prison, was a palanquin. "A courtesy from the Fire Lord." A guard simply said. She narrowed her eyes. Zuko was mocking her again. Shoving everything she lost in her face. She shook her arms trying to summon fire to burn the wretched thing down and stiffened fighting back tears when, once again, flames refused to ignite in her hands.

I don't need Zuko's spite. She seethed inwardly. She noticed something just then. The palanquin blocked her view, but she could hear people on the other side of the chair. She was trapped. If she walked, everyone in the capital city would see her march to her fate. She clenched her teeth; she was faced with the same dilemma every day since she was imprisoned. Which choice: humiliation or degradation? She swallowed her pride and marched to the palanquin and sat down on it. The guards came forward and secured her to the device, and they lifted her, and began to march her away as they drew the curtains closed. Traditionally the curtains were drawn to keep royalty from having to look upon the commoners. Azula desperately tried to hang on to the allusion even though she knew it was to keep them from having to look upon their failure of a princess.

Her head slumped as the sedan chair was carried. She could hear people booing and jeering. She felt tears slide down her face as particularly distinct voices carried their insults her way. "I'm sorry. I failed you Father. I'm sorry I failed everyone." She bore the tears soundlessly less anyone outside knew she was weeping.

She had no idea how long they had walked, but suddenly there was a loud noise to her right and she heard men crying out as her palanquin dipped and hit the ground off sides. She felt the impact and with a grunt she half rolled off the cushion and into full view of the street and the jeering mob until the slack in her chains was gone. She heard the cries of shock as she looked up, blinded by the sun. How long had it been since she last saw real daylight? As her vision cleared, she could see an Earth Kingdom soldier glaring down at her with hatred in his eyes and a decent sized boulder suspended above his head.

"For the Earth Kingdom!" He screamed and as he gestured, the boulder started to move towards her. Azula simply remained still and closed her eyes gratefully. She wondered in the back of her mind if she would feel any pain, or if her brain would stop working too quickly for her to feel anything. Either way it's over she thought relieved. The moment lingered. She heard and felt the impact painlessly and waited for her awareness to cease. The moment turned into a second, and then a minute. She opened her eyes and saw to her shock and disappointment that the man was encased to his neck in a cone of rock, and his boulder was a few feet from her. She had merely felt its impact on the ground next to her. She looked to the side and saw that blind girl the Avatar traveled with standing with her arms extended.

Her face lowered. Of course Zuko would make sure his prize made its way to her 'deserved' fate. He was crueler than Azula gave him credit for. He sent his friends to make sure that she made it safe and sound enough to suffer the rest of her life. As the Earth bender girl bent the rock down so the guards could arrest her would be savior, she felt a tremor pass through her and two unbidden tears slipped from her eyes and hit the ground soundlessly. Azula looked up as the guards picked her up to place her back in the palanquin and saw the Earth bender 'looking' at her with a confused look on her face. She heard everyone start to laugh at her and saw, before the guards pulled the curtain closed, the Earth bender girl kneel down and touch the spot Azula had cried upon.

The rest of the journey continued without incident and eventually the sounds of laughter and booing died down. No doubt they neared where the prison was and the guards were ensuring no one knew where it was. Finally the palanquin came to a stop and lowered. The curtain was drawn back and she saw they were at the edge of Cinder Lake. It was a small lake that was at the base of the volcano that formed the backdrop of the capital city. The lake was roughly the same distance from the palace as the prison, but it was along the opposite direction. The lake was also considered part of the royal hunting forest. It was illegal for anyone to trespass as it was considered a private retreat for the royal family. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously as the guards undid the chains that kept her bound to the sedan chair and she stood and looked about as they led her out. What were they doing here? She kept silent, too bewildered to resist or ask the guards anything as they led her to an old light house.

When Azula entered, she saw a strange sight. She had been in the light house as children. Mai, Ty Lee and Azula would sometimes play here when the palace gardens became too crowded back when they were younger. Azula shook her head. She was not going to think of those times anymore. Now, however, the lighthouse was different. A large stair case went down into the earth in the direction of the lake. They led her down until the stair case ended and they reached a door. It was an odd door. It looked like the doors on The Boiling Rock; it very much resembled the insulated doors they used for the coolers. The guard pulled a lever and the door opened revealing an identical door on the other side. As soon they entered the one door slid closed and the other opened. A strange smell entered the room and they led her down some more hallways. She noticed confused there were no torches, but crystal spheres that glowed oddly.

They stopped at an open door that led into a large room with bars separating half the room. Inside the caged part of the room lay a cot, a low table and in one of the corners lay something separated by what appeared to be an oiled paper curtain. What took her attention the most was that her brother, Fire Lord Zuko stood outside of the caged area by the open door. He nodded his head. "Azula." He said simply.

"Zuzu..." She put as much false honey into her words as possible. "…what a pleasure. Did you come to your senses and decide to turn yourself in for treason and reinstate my crown?" She could not help the harshness that crept into her voice as the guards brought her into the cell and her bare feet touched metal. She could also see that what was hidden behind the paper curtain was in fact a toilet. She looked down and saw the floor of her cage was a metal grate and by the sound there was water underneath.

Her eyes widened as memories of her defeat at the Agni Kai crowded in her mind and she tried to push past the guards and out of the cell. They easily held her still as she thrashed about wildly. She thrashed and fought as best she could, despite being shackled, until her strength, like everything else, betrayed her. They undid her ankles and wrists as she panted for breath. She was so malnourished and exhausted she could barely try to resist. Finally they undid the clasp to her mask and pulled it from her face. She nearly winced in disgust as she felt the mask stick to her face. When she was free she collapsed in shock at her state and nearly gagged as she smelled the combined stench of several days of improper hygiene assault her nose from her body. It was impossible to notice in the prison due to so many other bodies, but in this prison built for one, the unmistaken smell of days old stale sweat was wafting off of her and cutting through the strange smell of the air. She looked to her side and noticed a mirror of polished stone on the wall and winced. It was the first time she saw her face since before her coronation. Days of sweat and tears had left her face a ruined mess. Dark circles marred her eyes, and her hair was matted and cut haphazardly.

She stood near to tears and clamored weakly to the door as they closed it on her. She was so weak she could not even make it to the door on time. She glared hatefully at her brother and despite how hard she tried, she was only able to summon a half sobbing growl. "What did I ever do to you to deserve this Zuko?" The two days of numbness wearing off, the metal grate and her memories, her horrid condition and her lack of sleep robbed her rage from her and just left her with a broken anger.

"This isn't about me Azula." He said softly. Was that pity in his eyes?

"To the spirits it's not!" She shouted trying to shake the bars. Now that she was free she tried to summon her Fire bending to melt the bars. Again the best she could manage was a tiny puff of smoke as she started to cry. "I made you a war hero! I lied for you Zuko! This is how you repay me?"

"That also wasn't about me Azula. That was you covering your own backside." Azula glared. Was that all he noticed? True it was somewhat self serving, but it had helped him to. Did that not count for anything? "The Mechanist designed this specifically for you." She stood there trembling in anger and weakness and humiliation. "That smell is a special chemical pumped in here to keep flames from being started. The bars have a special core to draw lightning to them and not anything or anyone outside of your cell and send the shock back in your cell."

She glared. Again he was mocking her lack of bending. She threw herself at him as best she could, but he was standing outside her reach through the bars as she tried to claw at him. She shrieked and screamed in frustration. "Why Zuko? Why go through all this trouble just to rub my face in the piece of my spirit you stole?" She wailed. "I don't deserve to be in here, you do! Traitor!" She grabbed the bars for support. Most of her strength had gone as she had resisted the guards.

Zuko looked to her with pity. "I'm sorry it had to come to this Sister."

Azula just cried as she leaned against the door of her cell. "No you're not!" She wailed in a pathetic reversal of their last conversation on the courtyard of the palace. "No you're not! You were never sorry for anything you stole from me! I hate you Zuko!" She looked up and found the last of her energy and poured it out in her anger. "I hate you!"

The last image she saw of her brother was him shaking his head, turning around and walking out of the door as she just wailed in her solitude.