Disclaimer: (IdnoAtLA) Disclaimer: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and either posted comments or emailed me their thoughts! Holy crap…. What an obscenely long stretch of writer's block. Folks, to those of you who've waited, thank you. I'm so happy to have the juices up and flowing again. I uploaded everything as seems to have screwed with my paragraph breaks a bit and I made a few edits here and there. Well here you all go. Enjoy!

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Book 4: Spirit

Chapter 1: Azula's Lost Days

Page 11– From the Knife's Edge

Zuko took a deep breath and found his center before entering the cell and heard the door shut behind him.

"Well I should feel honored that the new Fire Lord has decided to honor me with his presence."

She smirked when Zuko's eyes widened as he shook his head and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It must be a family thing…" He muttered to himself and looked back up to her.

Azula could instantly tell something was off with Zuko. Despite how straight he kept his shoulders, she could see the slightest hunch to them. He was deliberately keeping them straight. His eyes were lined with dark rings from lack of sleep. Her false smile drew into a sneer. "What's the matter little Zuzu? Was your treacherous whore not around to sing you little lullabies about turtle ducks last night?"

Zuko's eyes narrowed as Azula saw him try to regain his mental balance. She realized she caught him off guard. "Evening Azula it's good to see you as observant as ever."

"Well Zuzu there isn't much to do around here day or night except to observe." Azula was slightly surprised at the bitterness she let slip into her voice. She had to keep better control of herself. "I do thank you for your concern; however, especially in light of everything you've done to help me."

"Azula…" Zuko began only to be cut off.

"No, no I mean it after all stealing my friends from me and turning them against me was truly a kindness. Should we also remember your charity when you stole my crown from me by cheating?" Azula knew she should control her outburst, but found she couldn't stop herself now that she had started. "Lest not we forget, by far your most blessed gift unto me, leaving me free of the burden to bear Mother's affection and love by being so pathetic she had to devote all her heart and soul to you."

Azula kept her honeydew sweet smile up as an uncomfortable silence settled on the two siblings.

Azula grinned wickedly, and reveled in her victory when, four minutes later Zuko turned and stormed off without a word.

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Katara wasn't sure what exactly she should do. Finally she had made the decision to wait and be there in case Zuko needed anything when he exited. It was one minute later as she was comfortable in this decision when the door flung open and a very pissed off looking Zuko stormed out the room and down the hallway. Katara stared shocked at Zuko's back and turned to the sound of the door being closed and caught a glimpse of the wide eyed and sadistic smile that spread across Azula's face like a rictus grin.

Blinking she turned and ran after Zuko. "Zuko? Is everything alright?" She tried asking between strides.

"Not now Katara." He heard Zuko growl under his breath.

"Zuko… talk to me. I'm your friend." It was at this point Zuko stopped and looked to her. She had seen many sides of her friend before; enemy, ally, victim, prisoner. Katara closed her mouth and allowed Zuko to leave alone. The unspoken command for solitude came not from her friend but from the Fire Lord.

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Zuko walked into her cell the next morning and Azula could see he was deeply troubled. "What's the matter little Zuzu? Did you have a rough night? I'd sing you a lullaby, but then you never did appreciate anything I did for you." She smirked as she saw Zuko wince and his eyes narrowed a bit. Good, let the bastard hurt a bit for everything he's caused me. She thought satisfied.

"Good morning Azula." He said simply. He nodded and two of the guards came in behind him. One carried a long spear and he lowered it so it pointed to her. She smirked from behind her cage and stepped back. Zuko took her crown out of his top knot and handed it to the other guard and nodded to him.

One of the guards instantly objected. "Sir… I don't think you should…" Zuko cut him off with a raise of his hand. Azula frowned puzzled. If any of her servants dared to question her like that she would have snuffed him out like a candle. She wanted to know what Zuko was up to.

"I know what I am doing. Open it." Zuko said crisply to the guard. The guard nodded and opened the door. Zuko quickly stepped in and the door shut behind him before Azula could react.

Azula was dumb struck. Zuko was in her cell, her very cell. Her eyes widened. What did he want? She felt her heart beating erratically. There in front of her, within arms reach, the very thing that had caused her nothing but grief. The traitor that dared call himself her brother, she felt her arms and legs tense as she hissed at him. "What are you doing?" She nearly growled at him.

"Something I should have done a long time ago." Azula could hear the calm way he spoke. He reached into his robe and drew out a knife. Her eyes narrowed at him as her teeth grinded.

"Come to finally finish me off dear brother? Does your toy not amuse you any longer Fire Lord?" She would not make it easy for him, she may not be able to bend but she could still fight. She took a stance and wobbled. It had been weeks since she last practiced.

"No I haven't Azula." He said calmly.

"That's hard to believe when you have…" Azula had a flash of memory she had when she was younger, of something she had thought she forgotten. When she was little and her mother had not yet abandoned her. Her father was discussing something with mother. She was too young to really understand or care what they were talking about, but she had snuck in to ask her mother for an extra glass of sweet nectar before bed.

Her parents were not aware she was watching them. She remembered her mother's face grew angry and she said something cutting to Father. Father had become enraged. He slapped her mother hard across the face grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the bed. He held his palm above her face and sneered at her. To this day Azula could remember what her father said as she fled the room. "Time to put that pretty face to something better suited for it."

Azula ran to her room and cried. That was the day she learned never to make her father upset. In time, when she saw the way men would look at the whores in the brothels, she learned what that sneer meant and what had happened after she ran. "…the knife." Azula realized with a shudder. There was one thing left that could be stolen. She reacted in a blind panic and charged her brother with a scream of desperation and fear. She would be damned to the worst nightmare she could imagine before she let any man take that from her, let alone her pitiful excuse for a brother.

Zuko reacted and kicked the table over and in her way. She tripped over herself and stumbled forward clumsily. Her agility was utterly atrophied and she closed her eyes in abject terror when she felt Zuko's hand close on her shirt. She stumbled a bit as her momentum and his movements guided her more stably to her feet. When she realized she was still standing she opened her eyes and turned around. Zuko's back was to the front of her cage. She was staring right at him, her golden eyes looking to him cautiously. She took in his smooth face and the vicious scar that marred it as a trophy of Father's anger. She was relieved not to be on the ground, but what was Zuko after? She eyed him suspiciously, and after a minute of stalemate, he spoke.

"I'm not here as Fire Lord." He tossed the knife to the ground by her feet. She stared at him incredulously. What on earth was he up to? "I'm simply here as Zuko. You hate me Azula. You hunted me down because Father told you to, but we both know you would have done it just for the fun of it."

Azula's eyes narrowed. She would have. She risked a quick glance to the knife and back to him. "What are you up to Zuko?"

"You blame me for everything wrong with your life. I'm here to offer you a chance to give me what you feel, is justice." He turned around, spread his arms out and kneeled facing the guards. "I'm here as the brother who despite everything, still loves you."

Azula was utterly shocked as she stared at her brother's back and at the knife; Zuko's words were ringing in her mind. "It's a trick." She said barely above a whisper as she bent down and picked up the knife.

"No trick, Sister." Zuko said calmly. She could see his shoulders tense slightly as the knife made a slight clink as she scraped it on the floor as she picked it up.

Zuko was horrible at lying. No matter what, some things never changed. Azula scanned and scanned his words in her mind, searching for the lie and could not find it. She looked to the guards and saw their jaws dropped in astonishment and looking very confused. Clearly Zuko did not deign to tell them of this trick.

She closed the distance as the guards tried to open the cage's door and get in. She beat them before the door could be opened and had the knife at Zuko's throat. "Open the door now!" She screamed as the guard started to open the door.

"No! Keep it shut and leave." Her brother called out.

"Open it and let me out of here or I will kill him!" She countered.

"No. What ever you decide Azula, stays in this room, between you and me. Guards this is a direct order, leave now." She could see the indecision on their faces and her hopes fell as they turned and left the cell, locking the door behind them. It was just her and Zuko and the knife that separated his death, and her justice.

"What game are you playing?" She asked in desperation as she thought of him dying at her feet.

"No games Azula. Your whole life has been marked by cruelty and blaming everyone else. You did nothing but imitate and sought to please the very same monster I thought I had to please." He spoke calmly.

"Father wasn't a monster!" She screamed and kicked him hard in the back as he fell to the floor. "He was a great man! He was the Fire Lord this country needed. Not some bleeding heart, honor less dog!"

Zuko stood up calmly and looked her in the eyes. They were exactly the same shade of golden amber her father's were, just as Azula's were, but they had a soft expression like mother. Mother she thought bitterly. Mother never cared about her. She only loved Zuko. She loved the weak. Father cared for the strong. Didn't he?

She raised the knife up staring down from his eyes to his chest. She wondered if she had given him another scar from her lightning attack. She could cut out that soft heart of his once and for all. She trembled. Everyone choose Zuko over her. Her mother, her friends, everyone thought that she wasn't good enough. The only one that picked her was Father and Zuko stole him from her too. She felt her eyes tearing over as she thought of the crown she should be wearing. Zuko had stolen her soul and her fate.

"You stole my destiny…" She cried freely. What did it matter if he saw? He was going to be dead any second.

"Was it your destiny Azula, or was it the destiny someone else picked for you?" Zuko asked her. His voice was calm, but was firm.

"Shut up!" She hissed. "Father wanted me to be Fire Lord, because he knew, out of everyone, he could only trust me!"

"Father picked you to be Fire Lord, because he knew he could control you. Your entire life you have fought to be perfect for him Azula. You let him choose your fate. You can pick your own destiny now, a better one."

Azula was so confused. She felt like she was talking to Uncle Iroh. Destiny, choice, she chose to be perfect. Father rewarded her. Zuko chose to be weak and look what father did to him for it. "There only ever was one choice." She whispered as she tightened the grip on the knife and raised her arm up.

Zuko just stared at her calmly. "Just so long as it's your choice."

Azula stared into those eyes, and that face of his. Just like Father's and Mother's wrapped up into one. Her arm wouldn't move. She willed it but it refused to obey her. She was so confused. Her head was swimming and throbbing. She was screaming at herself to kill him. She could finish what Father wanted her to do, but then would it solve anything? He was her enemy, but wasn't he still her brother? He said he loved her, but here he was offering himself up to her, what kind of victory was that for her? Where was the honor in that? At least he would be dead. Mai and Ty Lee could never betray her again. What was she supposed to do? Azula was utterly ripping apart inside with indecision. She could feel something in her chest coiling and uncoiling like an imprisoned dragon. She couldn't think. She couldn't even breathe. She couldn't do it with him just watching and waiting. He looked too much like Mother, Father! She caught herself. He looks too much like Dad!

She closed her eyes and screamed as she brought the knife down as hard as she could and heard the sickening scrape as it ground against metal. She collapsed to her knees openly weeping as she supported herself on her arms and opened her eyes and saw the knife had somehow slide perfectly between the seams of two metal plates when she threw it away. She felt woozy as she cried; her stomach hurt, her head was pounding. She felt weaker than she had in her entire life.

She looked up as her vision blurred and could see her brother. She could no longer make out his face, save for a pale blurry mass with a purplish blur where his scar was, as he screamed something to the door. She vaguely heard his voice over the creek of a metal door as she felt someone catch her in their strong arms, and blackness took her again.