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Page 12 – The Dragon's Throne

Azula opened her eyes casting off the darkness. She felt like she was waking up from a deep sleep, and felt the feverish heat coming from her forehead. When she tried rubbing the dull throb away, she saw the blurred vision of someone in front of her and staggered closer. What just happened? She asked herself. She vaguely recalled something about Zuko and iron bars and shouting. Nothing seemed really clear in her mind.

Finally her vision cleared, and she saw the 'other person' was simply her reflection. She distantly noticed the only thing there, was a reflection, no mirror, no walls, nor floor, simply a reflective plane of darkness in front of her. She blinked in shock at her reflection. She was an absolute mess; her eyes had deep shadows underneath them from lack of sleep, and she could see the mess her haphazardly mutilated hair was in as it stuck out from weeks of neglect. The worst was the broken hunch to her back and the slump of her shoulders. Her father never would have allowed her to have such posture. She looked like some broken homeless woman that had stolen royal armor. Daddy would be disappointed. She had heard in the back of her mind with a heart wrenching realization.

Her reflection blurred suddenly and she was staring at herself again as she should appear. Back straight, clothing perfect, she was the razor sharp woman she always was. She smiled until she noticed she could still feel the messy and stiff strands of her hair crowning her head. She looked at her hands and saw the scraped and dirty hands she saw at first and looked back to the pristine reflection of herself pantomiming her movements. She couldn't help the feeling that the reflection was somehow mocking her silently as she reached out and felt her hand connect with something that felt like cold glass and water at the same time as her reflection mimicked her.

Suddenly she felt icy cold envelope her hand as the reflection reached through the plane and grabbed her arm. She stared down in shock at her hand and tried to pull away without success and looked back to 'her' face. She could see clearly now her reflection was smiling at her. That cold calculated smile she knew so well. She had given that smile to so many people in her life, that she knew how the smile stretched the muscles in her face as she felt her face tighten against her will. Suddenly she was the reflection. She had never felt as vulnerable as her face moved without her will in response to the other Azula's movements as she turned her head this way and that.

The horror at not being able to even express her unbidden fear nearly consumed her until a new horror crept along her spine as the other Azula's face started to melt. Like a painting that hadn't been given time to dry, she watched as her face lost all individuality and became a smooth sheet of skin without identity. She gaped in terror until she felt the other her pull and she slammed into something that shattered like glass and she tumbled down, with shards of her other-self spinning, into the darkness.

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Mai ran to the infirmary, fear evident on her face. The guards hadn't had two sentences out when she bolted. All she heard was: incident, Prisoner, Fire Lord, knife and infirmary. Now she stood in the doorway looking inside. She had expected to see a team of surgeons and healers trying to keep Zuko from bleeding to death. Instead all she saw was Zuko sitting anxiously by one of the beds occupied by a shivering and muttering Azula underneath a pile of blankets.

"What happened?" She asked angrily as her fear came out as frustration now that she saw Zuko was all right.

Zuko laid a hand on his sister's head and winced as he looked to Mai. "I went to go see her again this morning and she collapsed."

The loud crack of skin on skin resounded throughout the infirmary as Mai slapped Zuko across the cheek. "Don't you ever scare me like this again! Why did you go see her after last night? The guards said something about a knife and you were in her cell. What were you thinking?!"

The look on Zuko's face made Mai's heart tear. "She's my sister Mai. I had too." Zuko looked worried, but he also looked unsurprised as if he knew what was happening.

"Where are the healers?" She sat beside him and looked at Azula with mild curiosity, her anger lightly diffused by Zuko's heart ache.

"I sent them away. They can't help her with this." Zuko said simply and looked back to Azula.

"What's wrong with her?" Mai winced when she touched Azula's head and felt the feverish heat.

"She's going through… a transformation." Was all Zuko said.

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Azula fell through the darkness until she hit the ground hard. She grunted as she rolled along the uneven paved stone surface. She slowly pushed herself back to her feet and wobbled.

"No lightning today?" She heard a familiar voice mock her. "What's the matter, afraid I'll redirect it?"

Zuko? It was Zuko. The Agni Kai! She was in the middle of the Agni Kai with her brother. She must have hit her head when he knocked her off her feet. She must have passed out for a minute and hallucinated the whole thing.

She felt her rage grow at his mocking. "I'll show you lightning!" She screamed and began separating Yin and Yang. She didn't care how dangerous it was. She felt the energy build and build. The comet enhanced power she had allowed her to build the charge despite how agitated she was. She saw the calm determination on Zuko's face and noticed that his pet Water bender made her way onto the field of the Agni Kai. You're fair game bitch. Azula sent the lightning bolt hurtling towards Katara, and smiled knowing she calculated perfectly as Zuko rushed in to take the blast himself.

Suddenly she heard a sound and everything blurred and spun. Suddenly she was staring directly at herself and the massive charge of lightning coming towards her. She panicked. She had no time to react and she knew that the attack would tear her in half. She couldn't believe the manic and crazed look on her own face as the lightning barreled towards her.

Then Zuko was there, poor predictable Zuko. She knew Zuko would rush in to save Katara, she had planned for it, but she never expected it to be this horrible. The lightning struck Zuko. The flashing light made Azula's eyes hurt as she felt the pulsing energy vibrate the air along with Zuko's screams. The hackles rose on the back of her neck from the static and she could smell ozone and burning meat.

She felt sick with disgust and fear. She had never before used lightning on someone and had it actually connect. She had no idea it could do this to a living body. She hadn't been this close the first time this happened.

First time? Azula thought to herself. She wondered if this had all happened before. Zuko fell to the ground, and Azula looked up in time to see herself charge haphazardly towards them while laughing like a madwoman.

Everything spun again and suddenly she was outside Zuko's room looking inside the door.

"Never forget who you are." She heard her mother say. Mother was standing by Zuko's bed as his unscarred face looked to Ursa with love.

Was their mother leaving? Azula couldn't imagine why. Did it have something to do with what Grandpa told her Father earlier? She saw her mother turn to leave. Suddenly Azula was running as quietly as she could to her room. She had to beat her mother there for when she came to say good bye to her.

She waited for hours and her mother never came. Finally she gave up and cried herself to sleep, promising that Zuko would regret stealing their mother from her.

She awoke with a start. She felt herself sitting on something soft and at the same time felt her knees against something hard and metal. Her mind strained itself, as she saw herself sitting upon the throne of the Fire Lord and at the same time through those eyes saw herself chained to the grate after her Agni Kai.

Whispers crawled in to her four ears distractingly. Sinewy bodies flew around and between the two hers. Dragons of several colors appeared before her.

"Power." A gold dragon said, sounding remarkably like her father. "It can be yours Fire Lord Azula." It tempted in honeyed false affection.

"No!" A red dragon yelled out as it flew around her as she was chained to the grate. This one had a large purple discoloration down its side. "The gold dragon lies. It always lies. Do not let it use you Azula." The voice like her brother said. She grit her teeth and turned away from it and looked longingly to the gold dragon.

This time a soft blue dragon slithered along the throne and looked to her where she sat. "Do not let the gold dragon destroy you." It said, and while the red dragon was self-righteous sounding, this dragon sounded concerned and caring. "Do not let him turn you into an uncaring weapon. Do not let him steal who you are away."

The gold dragon roared. "Cowards! Weaklings! Do not listen to them. They can't fathom the kind of power you can have. You just need to seize it." The gold dragon spoke to her as she kneeled chained; its whiskers stroking her face possessively.

"At the cost of your identity." The red one chimed in, the ugly purple marks marring its beautiful red scales.

"At the cost of your humanity." The blue one whispered softly as it rubbed against her side lovingly as she sat on the throne.

The gold one took a snap at the other two coming just short of biting as it turned to Azula as she lay chained. "At the cost of powerlessness. At the cost of pain." It said angrily. "What is it not to love if never again to hurt?"

Azula was at a loss. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster. She felt helpless and vulnerable. She couldn't stop the tears from her eyes. All the voices were too much. She felt like they were coming from inside her own head.

"Be a flaming sword and never again be cast aside by those that would lie to you about their love." The gold one stared intently into her eyes.

"Do not be a slave. Do not dishonor yourself with blind hatred." The red one roared with pride, staying in between the two halves of herself.

"Do not be a weapon. Be the person you were meant to be. Not what someone else wanted you to be." The blue one said desperately.

Azula couldn't think. It was too much. She did what she always did when her heart was near to bursting. She used all her power to force her emotions down as much as possible. With all her strength she broke her chains as her throne shattered, and she wrapped all her arms around the gold and blue dragons and watched everything dissolve in fire.

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Zuko blinked in shock as Azula's eyes opened and she gasped softly. It had been three days. He didn't know what was wrong. Azula would wake and then take a drink and disappear back into her visions. Zuko's fever had only been a day, but Azula didn't seem any closer from resolving whatever it was her mind was trying to sort. After the second day he had a hawk dispatched to his Uncle hoping he had some insight. Unfortunately it was at least two or three days for a hawk to fly that far away. Zuko was hopeful Azula would awaken before he needed Uncle Iroh's insights.

He thought long and hard about his decision. In the end he supposed Mai was right. It had been a foolish choice. He easily could have been killed. Then what? Who would rule in his stead? He had no children, and Mai had no claim to the throne. Azula clearly would not be capable to lead. Would it be his Uncle or would the Fire Nation demand that his father be reinstated despite having no bending?

That was the thought that sobered him up right then and there.

Rather than dwell on that nightmare, Zuko wiped his sister's brow. "She was worth it." He said resolutely to himself. They were family. Mai had decided to give him another screaming fit when he finally came to bed the first night. He still couldn't help but smile at the memory. Her face was flush and red with anger. It was actually refreshing to see her feeling something that strongly. He still remembered his surprise when she came into the infirmary terrified that he was dying.

He also remembered the second slap she gave him when he interrupted her mid rant and told her how pretty she was when she was angry. In hindsight, he probably was too tired to be angry. Zuko smiled more when he thought of the tight hug she gave him right after.

Azula's stirring broke Zuko out of his reverie as he readied a ladle of water for her. She gulped greedily and her gold eyes fixed solidly on Zuko's for the first time in three days. Zuko held his breath hoping she was finally coming out of it. Her eyes opened a tiny bit as if she were too tired and dazed to widen them fully.

"Azula?" He asked concerned.

"I know you…" She said softly.

"That's right Azula. It's me. I'm here for …" He began softly.

"I know that voice…" She interrupted. "The Red Dragon. Leave me alone. I don't want to think anymore. The Red, The Blue, The Gold, I'm tired and can't think anymore. Leave me alone… Just leave me alone." She muttered softly before passing back out.

Zuko was taken back. He remembered visions of dragons in his dreams. It surprised him that there were Dragons in Azula's. Then again, dragons are a common staple of Fire Nation culture. Still, He wondered if the same color dragons that Zuko saw were the same ones she saw and heard. He thought back to his dream back in Ba Sing Sei. The Red Dragon had been his Uncle Iroh. It had been the voice of reason and peace. The Blue Dragon had been Azula's voice, his eyes narrowed as he recalled, It was the voice that tempted him to seize power. Were these the voices she heard? Dear Agni it was confusing.

Zuko rubbed his temples in thought. It didn't fit right he realized. She had called him the Red Dragon. Clearly whatever the Red Dragon was saying probably wasn't something she wanted to hear. As for the blue dragon, he could truly associate Azula as a blue dragon. Blue was never a color he liked, and Azula clearly loved blue. He figured the Blue Dragon was telling her something she wanted to hear. Zuko couldn't for the life of him figure out what the other dragon was for. He definitely would need to relay the information to his Uncle and see what he thought of all this.

Zuko sighed and leaned back. What was he supposed to do? He needed to be there for Azula. He didn't know why given all the grief she had caused everybody, but he knew he had to be by her side. He also realized he had a government to run. Things were running more smoothly than but not as well as he hoped. Things weren't going well with the Earth Kingdom Colonies. Some of those colonies had been there since before his father was born. Many of the people didn't want to abandon what they saw as their homes, not that Zuko blamed them. He may not have Mai's political savvy, but even he knew he was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he forced the colonials out his own people may rebel against him. If he did not return the land the Earth kingdom may simply reclaim the land by armed force and Zuko would be obligated to defend his people.

Zuko knew he should be in the throne room with Mai handling these things, but all he wanted was to be here for Azula. He sighed not sure where this sudden sense of sibling love came from. He supposed it came from how broken she had become. Where Azula was once a dragon, now she was simply a lame ostrich-horse struggling under its own weight on a broken leg. He felt sorry for her. He shook his head and wiped her head down again.

He sighed again and said softly: "I hope you come out of this fixed Azula."

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Azula looked around her new surroundings. It was dark, but not. A soft light seemed to be coming from somewhere. It was bright enough to see that she stood on a patterned round floor, and at the edges of the floor darkness waited with fog trailing in the infinite void beyond. Her eyes cast down to the pattern on the floor and confirmed that the marble, cool to the touch on her bare feet, displayed the checkered pattern of a pai-sho board. The board was large enough to play with humans as opposed to tiles and there was only one thing that broke the flatness of the board, and that was a statue in the middle of the field. She walked with trepidation towards the statue; her heart hammering in her head as she approached the gold flecked white marble and gasped seeing it was a statue of her.

It showed her, legs spread and hands on hips atop a dais as 'she' looked down on herself. Life sized, and flawlessly depicting her in her royal armor she looked at the expression on her, no the statue's… face. Like everything the statue was perfect, giving the impression of muscles underneath the marble that subtly pulled its face into a closed lip angry smirk and narrowed eyes. She stared into the eyes of the statue, and though it was merely lifeless stone, there was… something about the way they just curved.

She felt an ache when she looked into its lifeless eyes. It was like an infectious mirror that showed her some forgotten pain that was desperately clamoring for attention. She reached out to touch the statue between the breasts, above her heart and her eyes twisted into a puzzled expression. The statue was warm. Not just warm but growing warmer.

In moments it went from body heat in temperature to so hot she had to jerk her arm away in a yelp of pain. She watched suddenly as cracks appeared in the façade of marble with little shrieks of shearing stone as wisps of smoke and small tongues of flame flickered from the flaws until the statue collapsed as it burst into flames.

Azula recoiled in shock and fear physically and mentally from watching 'herself' burn in effigy. The flames hissed and spat sounding like whispers speaking dragons' secrets. They hissed and popped like buzzard wasps inside her skull, just loud enough to make out the sound but not the meaning save the occasional word here and there such as: "honor", "power" and "love".

She grabbed her head and turned away hoping to distance herself from the sight and the sounds when she saw another statue had risen from the ground. This one was done in the same perfection as the first, but this one was different. The expression was wide-eyed and fearful and clasping its mouth as if afraid to speak. Azula side stepped it and tried to run, not caring that she could see the edge of the giant pai-sho board she was on.

Half-way to the edge another statue appeared from the ground directly in-front of her. This one had an angry and jealous scowl on its face. Azula turned and ran into another one. No matter which direction she turned another one appeared before her, each with a different emotion etched into its face. One appeared so abruptly that she fell on her rear. Frantically clawing herself to her feet, she ran from and dodged them until she was back in the middle of the board where she stopped in shock.

There stood her friends Mai and Ty Lee. They were both captured perfectly in marble likenesses. Even the choice in marble was perfect. Ty Lee was carved in a rosy pink stone and Mai, in some form of dusky grey stone. She was so focused on them that she wasn't even seeing the hordes of her marble doppelgängers as she stepped closer to them.

The statues were carved in the same manner from when she last saw them. The anger, confusion and betrayal were evident on their faces. "Don't look at me like that!" Azula yelled at the effigies. "You brought it on yourself! You were supposed to be my friends!" She shrieked at them finally letting the emotions boil up to the surface.

Just then, they burst into such brilliant blue flames that even Azula had to stare for a moment in horrid awe at their intensity. When the flames reduced the statues to nothing she saw she was circled by dozens of the statues of her. Each statue faced her and pointed accusingly towards her. She turned seeing the look of betrayal and anger on each of them.

She clenched her fists as everything inside her came ripping to the surface. "This wasn't my doing! They made their choice!" Striking at the air, blue flames erupted from her arms torching a statue. "They did this! It's all their fault!" She kept launching attack after attack, destroying likeness after likeness of her. "I didn't have a choice!" each time she saw their eyes it took more and more of the fight from her words as her blasts grow weaker as her conviction in her own words faded. "It wasn't my fault. I… I didn't mean to. I didn't…" Whispering now, she turned around fighting the moisture that threatened to spill from her eyes as she continued to assault her jury and then stopped.

There. Carved in stone appearing exactly as she appeared to her in her room those months ago stood her mother. "… mean to." She whispered as the statue started to smolder and catch alight burning deeply and slowly like a blue bonfire all of its own. "I… I…" Azula slumped to her knees watching as her mother burned in front of her and tears streamed down her eyes. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry" Barely even whispering her voice hoarse from her emotion and trying to speak through tears. "I'm so sorry for everything."

It was there that Azula, prodigy of the Fire Nation, wept on her knees begging far too late for forgiveness from the shadow of the mother consumed by the azure fires of her very own daughter's ambition. It was there that, after the brightness of the blue flames whispered into nothingness once consuming her mother that she saw the sinewy bodies of the three dragons speed through the darkness and devoured the hollow feeling husk of the former princess.

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Azula sat up with a start amongst a sea of blankets. Pushing herself up from the mass of them she looked about and saw she was in the palace's main infirmary. She also saw she was alone. No doctors, nurses or healers. She frowned and slid off the bed and caught herself. Her legs felt shaky. She felt weak, not just physically. She was emotionally drained and dragged herself to splash some water in her face. Prodigy she might have been, but she had enough of her fair share of training accidents, among other reasons she didn't want to dwell on, to know the infirmary by heart.

Pouring a pitcher of water into the stoppered sink she dipped her hands in the cool liquid and splashed her face a few times. She took a deep breath and with apprehension raised her face up to the mirror.

Suffice it to say the blue flames burning a scar identical to her brother's on the opposite side of her face were not what she expected to see.

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Azula suddenly sat bolted into a sitting position with a wide-eyed wild expression on her face. Gasping and hyperventilating in panic she stared straight ahead like a game animal backed into a corner. Zuko blinked and dropped his now forgotten scroll detailing army placement reports to the floor and put his hands up in as non-threatening manner as he could. "Azula it's all right." He spoke as softly and warmly as possible. "You're safe."

At the sound the princess turned to Zuko and focused her eyes on him "Zuko…?" he heard her whisper, and it was here that Zuko could only stare in concern. Azula's clear and naked relief at the recognition was so obvious it was palatable. It wasn't until Azula half lunged at him and half fell off the bed that his concern gave way to shock.

Azula had wrapped her arms tightly around his form and burying her face into the soft fabric of his tunic she wept and wailed like a wounded animal. Zuko stayed frozen still in shock before his fraternal instincts finally roused him from his stupor and he wrapped his arms around her suddenly vulnerable form protectively as she stiffened slightly then melted deeper into him as her muffled cries wracked her shoulders harder.

"Shhh… It's going to be all right Azula. It's going to be all right." Zuko did his best to reassure her. In the back of his mind, he prayed she would be.

A/N: There you go an update as promised before another 3 years! Hope you all enjoy!