Chapter 5: for you Jess, RIP

"So that's it you're not going to tell me anything? But you know something, don't you." Payson said perceptively.

"Just talk to him Pay, it's not my place to say." Austin said awkwardly. He really, really hoped that Max didn't mention that they'd kissed. Payson was one of his good friends and he wasn't sure what the protocol was in these sorts of situations.

Payson shrugged. Austin wasn't being unreasonable: she'd do the same for her friends. She just tried to smile authentically "sure. See you at the Rock then." Payson wasn't usually nervous, she could do a triple twist in front of thousands, wearing a leotard with crowds screaming at her and the weight of her country on her shoulders but with boys she felt totally out of her depth. Until recently she'd only viewed them as a distraction, but now, now they seemed a whole lot more important. She sighed and drove to Max's apartment.

It was a typical bachelor pad, small and kind of messy with the ubiquitous wide screen TV connected to a PlayStation. It wasn't much but Payson liked it. There was a wall cabinet in the hallway with lots of photos Max had taken – some of his family, a few of the crowd from the Rock and a whole lot of Payson. She rolled her eyes at the newest one: a photo of her midway through her bars routine at worlds. Payson realised she was standing in Max's place without even having announced herself.

"Max?" She called.

Max emerged looking unusually serious. "Payson, come in. Do you uh, want a cup of tea or anything?"

Payson gave him a weird look "Um sure, and what's with all the formality?"

Max sighed "you should probably sit." Payson sat.

"How's your ankle?"

"Uh fine, thanks. How's your collarbone?" Payson asked with a hint of sarcasm. She didn't like people who beat about the bush.

"Okay this is weird."

"It is a bit. Look Max just tell me what it is you have to say."

"I'm bi." He uttered succinctly.

Payson was shocked. She wasn't expecting that at all.

"Say something" Max said pleadingly.

"I get the impression you're not telling me everything." Payson said slowly and calmly. There was no way Austin would have been so weirded out if all Max had to tell her was that he was bisexual.

"You mean you don't care that I'm bi?" Max asked incredulously.

"Of course I don't. But you're trying to change the subject. Why was Austin so freaked out when I told him you wanted to talk to me?"

Max sighed "Ok but please don't read anything into this. I kissed Austin before the car accident. I didn't mean anything by it, I don't have feelings for him. I just needed to get my point across."

Payson felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. It was weird how you could get two gold medals with a broken ankle, be a media darling and have the perfect man one second and then the next second have your whole life turn out to be some gigantic joke. She forced herself to suck it up, as they had been told so many times in gymnastics. Payson forced herself to smile – but she knew it probably looked more like a grimace.

"I-I-need some time Max." She said as she stood up and briskly walked towards the door. "Don't get up, I'll see myself out."

"Payson wait. I love you not Austin, not Lauren." Max called out after her but Payson was already in her car.

Payson shoved her key at the ignition, she was so tense that she missed she tried again and started the car. She drove around the block and pulled over. She checked to see if Max had followed her: he hadn't. Finally she let herself cry.

Eventually Payson dried her eyes. She headed back home – luckily everyone was out. Normally Payson would hit go to the gym to clear her head but her ankle already had a stress fracture, she didn't want to screw herself up any further. But she needed to clear her head somehow. She picked up her phone and called Kaylie. Ronnie answered – Kaylie was doing interviews. Payson gave a perfunctory response and hung up. Who could she talk to now? There was no way in hell she'd go to Lauren over this and she wasn't too sure how she felt about Austin over this. There was only one person who she could talk to without being judged or laughed at. Payson dialled.

"Hello" Emily said.

Payson was quiet for a second. She'd been harsh on Emily the last time they'd properly spoken face to face. Payson had automatically fallen back into the role of a captain talking to a lazy gymnast, rather than as a friend to another friend who needed support.

"Is anyone there?" Emily asked

"Em?"

"Payson?" Emily said happily: she'd long forgiven Payson for the way she'd acted towards her. Payson was tough and she wanted Emily to do well and she couldn't blame her friend for that.

"I'm really really sorry for the way I treated you. I don't want to bother you or waste your time but I need to talk to you."

"It's forgotten. I probably would have slapped you if the situations were reversed."

Payson snorted "like you'd be able to, I'd fully dodge you." She smiled at how easily they were able to slip back into their friendly banter.

"Keep dreaming. Anyway what was on your mind?"

Payson told Emily about Max, and Austin, and Lauren, and Kelly, and Kaylie.

"Oh Payson, I'm so sorry I couldn't be there with you through all that drama. And with Max – give yourself some time, think how you really feel about him before you decide what to do. And if he isn't willing to wait, well there's your answer." Emily said calmly.

Payson felt so much better after her friend's advice. She often forgot that, unlike most elite gymnasts, Emily had had experience out in the 'real world' and had been through far worse things than the other Rock girls.

"Emily, Darby's here to see you." Margi called – Payson heard her over the phone.

"Can you tell her I'm talking with my friend I might be a while but I'll come as soon as I can."

Payson was thoroughly confused. Darby was a pretty rare name "hey, who did your godmother just say was here?"

Emily was silent for a while. "You're going to think I'm crazy. But Darby came to see me about six weeks ago and well to cut a long story short I'm going to try to come back into gymnastics."

Payson whistled "with a baby? With all those changes to your body?"

"I'm putting the baby up for adoption. It will be hard but I'm not quite ready to give up on my dream yet."

"Wow that's amazing. I know it sounds corny but I'm proud of you. Just one question, why the hell is Darby coaching you? You should just come back to the Rock."

Emily laughed bitterly. "Darby knows what I'm going through and besides I'm pretty much the laughing stock at the Rock and I'm going to need one on one coaching. It's going to be a mare getting my body back into shape."

"Hey if Larisa Latynia can do it so can you."

"Thanks Pay oh and can you keep this a secret? I haven't even properly cleared this with Mum yet."

"Done. Now go work that booty of yours back into shape."

"Haha thanks, I've still got to squeeze this baby out first though" Emily said looking at her stomach rather sadly. She was pretty mixed up still about this adoption thing but even just talking to Payson made Emily miss gymnastics. And to be quite frank she and Damon were way to broke to raise a kid at the moment. She hoped he was doing alright. He'd been quite taciturn over the phone – but that was Damon for you. She couldn't wait for him to come back, and she missed him like crazy.

XXX

Damon had been looking at houses in the LA neighbourhood where Margi lived for ages but he still couldn't find the perfect place. He didn't want something too flashy but he wanted it to be nice, and child friendly of course. Finally the disgruntled real estate agent who was clearly put out by the fact a 20 year old was dithering over houses he would never be able to afford pulled up to a four bedroom home. "This is the last one we're going to be able to fit in today Mr Young." The estate agent placed ironic emphasis on 'Mr' as he glanced at Damon's ripped jeans, leather jacket and chucks.

Damon drew in his breath. Before they even entered the house he'd decided it was perfect. There was a fairly long driveway lined with poplars leading up to a white picket fence. Inside was spacious and open plan. Wall length windows – two balconies, French doors leading out to the patio. Damon grinned. There was even a perfect basement type space for him to practice as loud as he liked without irritating Emily. Although he knew Emily never got annoyed at his music, ever. There was a room that Emily could have as an office to do her school and uni work, a massive master bedroom and suite and an adjoining room that would make a perfect nursery.

The long suffering real estate agent approached Damon. "What do you think about this one?" He asked, wearily: it had been a long and futile day, he had wasted almost a whole tank of petrol and it didn't look like he'd be getting a commission for his efforts.

"I like it Mr Smith, I like it a lot." He said, clapping his hand on the older man's shoulder. "Start drawing up the contract for me will you. We can meet again tomorrow morning. And don't worry about dropping me home, I'll take the bus.

Damon grinned at the shocked expression on the real estate agent's face. He was so, so glad he didn't have a boring job like he did.

XXX

The Rock gymnasts may have helped their country get both team golds, an all around gold and four event golds and it may have been the day after the parade where they were all given keys to the town (during which both Kelly and Lauren smugly noticed Kaylie did not get nearly as much attention as she did in the last parade). But that did not stop Sasha Belov from training his gymnasts as hard as ever. Well harder actually.

"Daddy can't you tell Sasha to stop with all his stupid extra conditioning?" Lauren whinged as she got up for the 5am extra training the girls on the worlds team were getting as punishment for their theatrics during the competition.

Steve yawned "Lauren you brought this upon yourself. You have to learn to be responsible. If you'd actually acted your age you could have been the all around winner and the beam winner but you got neither. And because of you I'm up early so stop whining."

"But Daddy those other girls forced me to participate in the sleepover. I was just trying to be a team player. I just find it hard to fit in sometimes and I didn't want to let the other girls down."

Steve's face mellowed. "I'll think about it."

Summer watched the conversation from the dining room table and sighed. Lauren seemed like she would never grow up. And as much as Summer knew Lauren loved her she also knew she never listened to her or respected her. So far the issue of the wedding and adoption had been swept under the carpet after the incidents at the pre-worlds party and that was exactly what summer wanted. She'd only swung by because she'd promised Lauren she'd take her to the gym since she had to be there anyway. But the more she was around the Tanners the more they irritated her, she couldn't believe she'd even considered adopting Lauren.

"Lauren it's time to go" she said firmly before Steve gave in completely.

Lauren scowled and followed Summer to the car.

XXX

Emily stared at the phone. She really didn't want to call Chloe. She was nervous that she wouldn't take well to the news that she wouldn't ever know her eldest grandchild.

"You know to make the phone work you have to pick it up and dial, staring at it tends not to work so well" Larissa told the older girl.

"I see your schooling is paying off."

"Just call her" Emily had confided in the younger girl, who although only fourteen acted well beyond her years.

"Fine, but if it goes badly you have to buy me chocolate."

"Uh, why?"

"Because you'll feel guilty."

"You know me too well, ok fine – but if I come back and you haven't called your Mum there will be serious consequences young lady" Larissa joked.

Emily rolled her eyes good naturedly, and thought how much Brian would like Larissa if the two ever met. Larissa gave Emily a quick hug before leaving Emily to have some privacy. She dialled her home number.

"Mum?"

"Emily?" Chloe asked, delighted. She missed her daughter like crazy, even if they were at each other's throats a lot.

"I have some big news."

"Well come on and spill it then, silly. You would not believe how quiet it is without you here."

"Okay, well a few weeks ago Darby came to see me" Emily began with the story which she had told what felt like a million times "anyway to do all that I'm going to have to put the baby up for adoption. Please don't be mad." Emily said in a small voice.

Chloe couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was as if all her Christmases had come at once. Emily without gymnastics was like the seasons with no summer. "Oh honey I am so, so proud of you. Why would you think I would be mad? Has that California sun gotten to ya?"

Emily smiled at her mother's way of speaking. She was always positive, Emily should learn from that. "I just didn't want you to think I was taking your grandchild away from you."

"Oh honey. That little baby will be loved and I'll get other grandchildren I'm sure. But the thought of you giving up on your dream, that's something I don't think I could have lived with."

Emily was almost in tears now. "I miss you Mummy." She said in an uncharacteristically needy voice. Emily had always made a point of being super independent around her mother; she didn't want to burden her. But there were times when a girl just needed her mum.

"I love you too sweetheart."

They talked for awhile longer. Emily told her about the foster kids, how far they were coming and how Margi was thinking of getting a couple more to come. Then she talked to Brian who had been accepted on scholarship to a private school and was just waiting to see if they would be able to handle his disability. Emily finished the conversation feeling much better.

Larissa came back to see how Emily was doing. Emily beamed at her "how's the homework going?"

"Meh, you know me. I'm totally thick." The younger girl said happily, without any self pity.

"None of that Larissa."

"It's true."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is but I'm okay with that. I don't really care. My teachers say I'm not going to get to college. But there are more important things to do in life." She pulled out two Hershey's cookies and cream bars "like eating chocolate for instance. This was your favourite flavour right? If not it should be. They're soo good."

Emily ignored comments about the chocolate "what's this about not going to college? I thought you said you wanted to be a nurse."

"Times change, Em. It's not a big deal. I can just be something else, like I dunno a cook or something."

"Larissa look at me" Emily said sternly "you are going to get into a good college."

"And you need to be checked into a mental asylum." The younger girl snapped back. Larissa was used to failing, and she hated people to make a fuss over her.

"Do you still want to be a nurse?" Emily asked, ignoring the jibe.

"More than anything" Larissa answered quietly.

"Then you're going to get there. I'll tutor you every day if have to."

"Ha, you're funny. How do you propose we go about this rather insane plan?"

"Step one; we get you on the honour roll."

Larissa opened her mouth to object then she realised that Emily actually believed in her and she thought better of it. "You really think I can do that?"

"I know you can, if you're willing to work for it."

Larissa, blonde hair flying behind her ran to Emily and wrapped her in a hug.

"Come on let's try and get that homework done." Emily said.

After they'd worked on it for a while Emily decided they'd earned a break so they went down to the kitchen to fix themselves an orange juice. Margi made it herself and it put anything bought from the store completely to shame.

"So what did Damon say when you told him you were going back into gymnastics?" Larissa asked.

"Well I haven't yet. I want to save it till he gets back. I'll figure he'll need a nice surprise, he always seemed really drained when he gets back from recording.

"You're cute."

"Says the one with her hair in pigtails and wearing a Minnie mouse t-shirt"

"Hey Minnie's awesome."

Emily smiled in reply but she wasn't really listening. She checked her phone

Hey gorgeous, trip was amazing

I have some pretty big news

See you tomorrow

Tomorrow. Emily almost choked on her juice, he was back way earlier than she'd expected. She hoped Damon would take it ok. Deciding there was nothing more she could do about it she finished her juice and rounded up Larissa and the others to go for a swim. She needed to look good for Damon tomorrow and she always felt better after a swim.

A/N Thank you everyone for your reviews, as usual they made my week. So this was a bit of a fluff chapter and I know it didn't seem like a whole lot was going on but as you will soon see lots of drama is about to unfold, or explode might be a better word. As always please let me know what you thought