Chapter 6: We live, we love, we forgive and never give up

Emily bent down help Matthew tie up his shoelaces. The five year old was the newest edition to Margi' clan and he wasn't doing too well. His parents and sister had recently been killed in a car accident and he was staying here temporarily until his feuding extended family decided where he would go: none of them wanted to take him in. It broke Emily's heart because he was such a sweet little boy. She looked down at her ever expanding stomach and silently promised the baby inside that his or her adoptive parents would always love them. And so would she.

"There we go Matt you're ready to go" Emily said "have a great day at school."

"Thank you Emlee" the boy said and hugged Emily. Emily's hormones went crazy and she forced herself not to cry as she hugged him back. Reluctantly she went up to her room to grab her gym bag. Because Emily was only a couple of months away from her due date Darby had switched most of her training to swimming and strength training in the pool, she had no idea why it was called low impact because it hurt like hell and at least training in the gym didn't leave her smelling like chlorine. She sighed, at least she had Damon to look forward to this afternoon.

The work out was intense, three hours of lengths, aqua aerobics and underwater weights exercises. She felt almost every muscle inside her burning and screaming for her to stop. But Emily soldiered on: she just kept thinking of herself on the podium with a gold medal around her neck and her mother and brother being there to see her and be proud of her.

Darby watched her student with pride. Emily Kmetko used to be known in the gymnastics world as a diamond in the rough: raw talent but with none of the mental toughness champions were made of. No one would think that now, the girl was on her 200th tricep dip without letting her form slip one bit.

"Ok and we're done, good job Emily."

Emily beamed. "Thank you! I would fully hug you but I'm wet."

"That's what she said." Darby inadvertently mumbled.

"My coach has a sense of humour, who would have thought? A pretty lame one but still"

Darby snorted

Emily laughed at her "help me out?" she said reaching her hand out to Darby. Darby took it and Emily pulled her in. Darby squealed and splashed Emily. "I can't believe you just fell for the oldest trick in the book."

After they finally got out of the pool and changed Emily looked at her watch and swore, she was already late for meeting Damon and it would take her 20 minutes to get back to Margi's. She texted him to meet her at the pool instead.

Emily was waiting out the front, looking like a mess when Damon pulled up in his old Toyota. Emily grinned when she saw him get out, she thought about running up to him and jumping into his arms, decided it would make her look like an idiot, then decided she didn't care and ran over to him anyway.

They kissed like the world was going to end tomorrow. "I've missed you so much." Damon said breathlessly when they came up for air. "And I've missed you too, Junior" he said in a baby voice to Emily's stomach.

Emily cringed: she shouldn't have waited so long to tell him about her plans. She gently wrapped her hand around Damon's wrist and pulled his hand off her stomach. Damon looked at her quizzically.

"Damon, we need to talk about something."

Damon looked concerned "I've got news too – a lot of it. Let's grab something to eat."

Emily just nodded, she was trying to think up the best way to break the news to her boyfriend that his kid was about to be put up for adoption. Damon drove them to a quiet cafe by the sea; it was empty save for two ladies drinking coffee, a slice of chocolate cake between them. Damon ordered a Panini, a slice of brownie and a latte, Emily requested a green tea and a salad – with dressing on the side.

When they sat Damon asked "did you have a big breakfast?"

"No why?"

"It's just that I know you and I know you're not the type of girl to order a salad, it's not like you're in gymnastics anymore so you don't have coach on your back making you eat healthy."

Emily was silent.

"Em? Are you ok, what's going on?" Damon asked, full of concern.

She sighed, and put down her fork. "I guess I should tell you the news."

"That would be great, you're making me a tad nervous here."

"Ok, but please remember Damon, I only put off telling you because I didn't want to distract you from your recording. And I know this impacts on your life too but at the end of the day it's my decision and I love you and I'm not trying to hurt you and please remember that when you hear what I have to say." Emily babbled nervously.

"Kmetko – breathe. Just tell me what's going on."

Emily told him the whole story, Darby's arrival, her decision to return to gymnastics and how that meant she was putting the baby up for adoption. "So that's basically what's been going on. I was at the pool today training with Darby."

Damon sat there, very still.

"Say something."

Damon took his own advice and took a deep breath, he took Emily's hands in his own. "I am so glad you've decided to return to gymnastics. I'm proud of you. And I understand why you want to put the baby up for adoption but we need to talk it through: there are other options. But Em, please let me in the next time you decide to make big life decisions. It's my baby too." Damon sounded like he was on the verge of tears when he mentioned their baby.

Emily came over to Damon and hugged him. "I will, I should have told you."

"Yes you should have but I guess I kind of abandoned you before when you came to LA so can we call it even?"
"Done." Emily leant her head on her boyfriend's shoulder and Damon held her tight and tried not to show that the whole world felt like it was crashing down on him.

They sat like that for a while before deciding that they should go for a walk along the beach before Emily started her second training session with Darby and then had her tutoring and school work to do.

"You're even busier than you were when you were working at the Pizza Shack and training at the Rock." Damon teased as they dipped their toes into the cold water.

"It seems like it, and lugging this around doesn't help" Emily pointed to her stomach. "But I love LA you know? Oh so what was the news you were going to tell me?"

Damon cringed. "I kind of put an offer on a house. I know, I should have asked you but it seemed perfect for us and the baby." Damon was surprised to find tears welling up in his eyes when he thought about the son or daughter he would never get to raise.

"You bought a house! What did you do, rob a bank?"

"Not quite by burglary skills have thus far been limited to breaking into gyms after hours." Damon deadpanned, making Emily laugh "no my album did quite well, it went platinum which, apparently is a big deal and I guess I'm kind of rich."

Emily beamed "I am so proud of you." She said before kissing him "and don't apologise for not telling me, although next time maybe check that I like it too."

"You're not mad?" Damon was incredulous.

"Not at all, but I think we both have a lot of processing to do tonight. I still want to put the baby up for adoption, even if we can afford a nanny. So maybe if you take me home we can mull everything over and decide what we're going to do."

"Okay, but Emily, have another think about this adoption thing for me?" Damon pleaded.

Emily forced a smile "I'll think about it." She lied.

Damon squeezed her hand. He hadn't ever had these many emotions running rife inside him before: he had just become used to the idea of being a father: he didn't know if he could take having that thought stripped away from him. The car ride home was more or less silent: Emily was exhausted and Damon jaded. It was going to be a long night for them both.

XXX

Summer was usually an administrative whiz. Everything in the Rock office was alphabetised and compartmentalised, her wardrobe was always ordered, every bill was always paid on time but with the document before her Summer couldn't bring herself to fill it out. She'd been putting it off for weeks and Lauren was going to start to realise that if she didn't do something soon.

The sliding door to the office opened, making Summer jump.

"Everything ok?" Kim asked.

Summer forced herself to act calm "oh everything's fine, why do you ask?"

"I was just checking if you were still good for our lunch with Chloe?"

"Oh shoot! I forgot it was Tuesday, I'll be right with you Kim." Summer hurriedly shoved the adoption papers that Lauren had practically forced on her into the nearest drawer. Kim, Summer and Chloe had started to have weekly lunch dates not long after Emily left the Rock. Kim had initiated them: Payson might be missing Emily but Kim was sure she was missing Chloe more. The vivacious brunette was the only other Rock parent who didn't think the sun shone out of their ever orifice. Kim and Summer pulled up to the salad bar that was their habitual meeting place. Chloe was sitting out the front, soaking up the sun and for once she didn't look like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Hello ladies!" Chloe stood up clumsily and waved, causing people to stare. Summer and Kim grinned at each other and walked over to join her. They chatted for a while, Chloe noticed that Summer was still wearing Steve's engagement ring so when Kim stood up to go to the bathroom she decided to say something. If Summer was still engaged to Steve she needed to know about the strip club.

"How is everything going with Steve and Lauren?" Chloe asked, trying to sound subtle and failing miserably.

Summer realised she was still wearing her engagement ring. "Oh it's over Chloe and I'm not sure about this adoption thing with Lauren. The girl's almost eighteen and since Steve and I aren't in any sort of relationship it would make it harder."

"I guess that makes sense. What does the adoption process involve? I'm just wondering because Emily was thinking of giving the baby up for adoption" Chloe didn't mention Emily' return to gymnastics. Summer had a good heart but she was known to put her foot in her mouth.

"Really? Well it's quite a complicated process but private adoption is much easier – before the birth both parents agree to give the baby up and they sign their parental rights over to the adoptive parents."

"That sounds so serious and, well final." Chloe said softly.

"It doesn't have to be, you can have open adoptions where the biological parents are kept in the loop, the child can know they're adopted and the birth parents can keep in touch."

"That sounds better, have you been interested in adoption for a while."
"Kind of – before I met Steve I'd become resigned to the fact that I wouldn't ever have children" Summer said sadly, remembering that lonely time in her life. "So I thought adoption seemed to be the best way forward."

Chloe smiled at her friend "You'll make a great mother, Summer." She paused, thinking whether this would be a good idea and said "in fact do you want me to put you into contact with Emily?"

Summer's jaw dropped "would you. Oh Chloe I would be so grateful, it's been my dream since I was a little girl to be a mother."

Chloe came over and hugged the younger woman. "It's Emily's decision at the end of the day but she needs all the support she can get. Have a talk to her, and if it makes any difference to you, I'd be happy for you to raise my grandchild."

Summer gave Chloe a watery smile and hugged her tightly.

XXX

"Again Payson" Sasha shouted at his most diligent gymnast to redo her vault. Sasha didn't want to rush anything but he thought that Payson's power moves might be coming back, and if she managed to master them again she would most likely be unstoppable. He wanted that more than anything for her. Payson had been through so much but she kept on going. He watched her run, focused up to the vault, saw her jump, hamspring and turn and land on her back with a deep thud. His heart lurched and his mind flashed back to that fateful day at nationals.

"Payson!" He knelt down beside her "Are you hurt?"

Payson looked up to her coach, saw the look of concern on his face and started to cry. "I'm so freaking useless. That was a ridiculously easy vault and I blew it."

Sasha was shocked, Payson never felt sorry for herself or got worked up. "What's really going on Payson? Something's been bothering you, you've been tense all week."

"Nothing, it's fine. I'm sorry for being a brat." After she'd finished her sentence the blonde gymnast's eyes inadvertently flickered in Max's direction.

Sasha followed her gaze and felt a pit of anger rise up in his stomach. If that kid hurt her in any way he would punch his pretty boy nose into a completely different shape. "Payson, listen to me: you're a beautiful young woman but more importantly you're strong. Whatever's got you down you'll overcome because you're a champion. You know that don't you?"

Payson dried her eyes and hugged her coach. As she did so she realised that, apart from her father, Sasha was the only man she'd always been able to rely on.

Lauren looked at her teammate hugging her coach and rolled her eyes, Payson was so selfish. She knew that she and Max were having a thing because he was bi: she should just be grateful that Payson had chosen him and she was now getting all of Sasha's attention when he should have been coaching the rest of them. She walked over to them and loudly tapped her foot on the wooden floorboards.

"Um am I interrupting anything?" She said snarkily.

Sasha sighed. Lauren still thought had the mindset that no one else could have anything because it meant that there was less for her. "What's up Lauren?" he tried to sound patient.

"I need to head off now, Summer needs to talk to me, she says it's important and since you're so busy with Payson you wouldn't mind me leaving."

"Fine go." Sasha said, resigned. He didn't have time to worry about Lauren's feelings when Payson was falling apart.

Lauren felt like she'd been slapped, she'd been expecting more of a fight but Sasha clearly had his priorities. Lauren turned on her heel, nose in the air to meet Summer.

Sasha grinned, "please tell me her theatrics cheered you up a bit?" he said to Payson.

Payson grinned genuinely for the first time in days "so much" she said "so back to the vault? We've wasted almost ten minutes."

"That's the Payson I've missed."

Lauren was excited to be spending time with Summer, they had hardly seen each other since Worlds, now that she and Steve were on a break. She refused to believe that they were broken up for good: Summer wouldn't do that to her.

"Summer" Lauren said enthusiastically. She walked over and kissed her on the cheek.

Summer cringed, Lauren was not going to be happy with what she was going to tell her "ready to go? I thought we'd get afternoon tea."

"Ooh bonding, sounds fab!" Lauren clapped her hands together.

When they were seated Summer pulled the adoption papers out of her bag.

"Oh Summer you've filled them out? I'm so glad."

"Lauren: I'm so sorry, I can't adopt you. And to be fair, you never really asked me you just forced the idea on me and didn't take no for an answer. And also with your father and I not in a relationship it makes things almost impossible."

"But you and Daddy are in a relationship duh Summer."

Summer sighed "no Lauren, we aren't. I can't adopt you I'm sorry." Summer said, breaking into tears.

Lauren frowned "what's the real reason?"

"I just told you it's too inconvenient."

"You're a crap liar Summer. There is some other reason and I'm going to find out what it is. But in the mean time don't bother talking to me ever. Again." Lauren almost ran out of the diner. Once she was out of the main streets she started running properly: the wind making her hair stream behind her. She loved running: it was the one place where she could escape to and feel like no one could catch her. No one could hurt her. She found one of the many bush tracks that surrounded Boulder and pounded it, finally she ran back home and went into the gym that was the basement. She pulled out the punching bag and put on a pair of Steve's old boxing gloves and pounded it and pounded it until her arms felt like jelly. Finally she threw the gloves off, sat down in the corner and cried for the fact that another mother figure had abandoned her.

Summer stood up to follow Lauren, but then she realised it was futile. The girl had so many issues and she couldn't fix them. She never could have fixed them, she knew that now. It was Steve's job to help her through that and ultimately Lauren needed to realise that hurting other people wasn't going to make her hurt go away. Summer pulled out the piece of card Chloe had given her with Margi's address. She couldn't fix Lauren but she had an opportunity to held Emily, she didn't know if anything would even come of this – she and Emily weren't particularly close and it was short notice but she had to try.

A/N so Lauren finally realises that the world does not revolve around her (took her long enough!) but to be fair, the girl does have some issues! Thank you everyone for your reviews and please let me know what you thought, have a good weekend!