Apil 8

Dear Diary,

Jared is the guy for me.

How do I know this, I hear you ask, after only getting to know him for the past couple of days days? Well, that is because of a wonderful little goregous beagle. Zain has accepted Jared into his life whole-heartedly and I am therefore obliged to spend the rest of my life with Jared as to not upset my beautiful doggy. He gets awfully nostalgic. He wouldn't stop whining for about two months after Lydia left home. Now whenever my step-sister comes to visit he ignores her.

Completely out of the blue today, Jared asked if I had a dog and then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't go walking through the woods alone. I started to panic because I've been walking through the woods for about an hour every day and there's all these animal attacks going on. I guess it was really stupid. But it's La Push; I didn't really expect anything to happen in my own back yard. Anyway, Jared then gallantly offered to come walk Zain with me and be my knight in shining armour, should anything happen. Not that he'd be able to help me if these bears or whatever it is came running out at us. He'd probably be as much use as Zain, and he gets frightened of his own tail.

Anyway, Jared came round and knocked for me (Scott nearly opened the door but I managed to overtake him and shut the door behind me before he could see who it was) and it was love at first sight. For Zain and Jared, I mean. Not me and him. That would be stupid. Totally ridiculous.

Zain wouldn't stop jumping on him and licking him and rolling onto his back to let Jared scratch his belly. I have to admit, I was a bit jealous. Zain doesn't even like me that much and I'm the one who looks after him!

My little boy did literally everything that Jared said, even though he usually won't stop pulling when I have him on the lead. He just kept hovering around Jared. He really couldn't get enough of him. I mean, I can understand that, but from a dog? He really can charm absolutely anyone.

I think the main reason why Zain is so smitten with Jared is because he can throw sticks so damn far. When we got to the beach he seemed to be able to throw it about two hundred yards without putting any effort in.

"Zain rarely plays fetch with me anymore because I can barely throw a stick ten yards," I admitted as Jared threw it off far into the distance again.

He laughed at me. "I'm not surprised. You're far too tiny to be able to throw."

"Jared! I'm not that short."

His finger gently wrapped around mine and he tugged me to a halt. He walked to stand straight in front of me, our bodies brushing.

My neck was nearly bent at a ninety-degree angle just to see his face. He smiled as it to say 'see?'.

My head didn't reach his shoulders.

I pushed him away as he started to laugh at me again. "You're just a freak of nature, Jared. Noone should be that tall."

"Whatever you say, shorty."

"I'm a perfectly average height, I'll have you know."

He laughed, his eyes glinting. "You're far from average, Kim." He slipped his fingers through mine and tugged me behind him as he carried on walking, ending that conversation.

"Do you mind?" I asked as I placed my other hand over his to try steal his warmth. "My hands are so cold."

"Of course not," he slowed to a stop and brought my hands to his mouth and blew his hot breath over them before delicately pressing his lips to the backs of my fingers.

"You should have worn gloves," he rebuked.

"I lost them," I said. I didn't dare speak for much longer than that when he was kissing my fingers. He's just too sweet. My heart starts to hammer against my chest whenever he does these cute gestures. I also wanted him to press his lips to my own so badly.

He stopped the soft kisses and rubbed my hands gently in his massive ones. I always thought my hands were a bit on the large side but when they're in his they look like a small child's hands.

"I'll have to buy you new ones," he said.

I shook my head. "Oh, no. I'm sure my mom has some she doesn't use that I can borrow."

Gloves just aren't smart looking enough for a lawyer these days.

He stared at my hands as I unconsciously stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. I stopped as soon as I realised. It's just so easy and natural to do things like that. And then I remember that we haven't even been friends until the day before yesterday. How insane is that? Two days. Yet I'm standing here, clutching his hands as if we've been doing it for years.

"I don't understand how you're so warm. Why are you not freezing in this weather?"

He shrugged and looked away. "Dunno. Either genes or I'm just so used to it that it doesn't affect me. I'm usually fine topless."

I spluttered. "I really don't think I'd be able to think straight if you were," I said.

Why did I say that?

I am the biggest idiot in the world. I'm such a dork. I always manage to say the most stupid things.

Why would you tell someone that?

Oh dear god.

How is it I manage to embarrass myself in almost every situation? It's at least once a day. I don't think I can cope with hanging out with Jared if it's going to cause this much mortification.

Jared had a stupid shit-eating grin on his face while I blushed so hard I thought I'd pass out. He pulled one hand out of mine and kept mine in his other and brought it to his chest so that it was squished in between us. He stepped closer and cradled my cheek with his spare hand.

"You're too cute, Kim," he said.

"I don't think cute is the right word for it," I mumbled.

He laughed and shook his head. "It is."

Zain bounded up to us, proudly holding the stick in his teeth. He stood there wagging his tail but I was too focused on Jared to pay any notice. Unfortunately, Zain likes to be the centre of attention at all times so he spat the stick out at our feet and then started to tug at Jared's pant leg incessantly.

Jared smiled as he brushed his thumb over my cheekbone and then he pressed a kiss to my forehead. Before I could even imagine all of the wonderful scenarios that could happen next he pulled away, picked up the stupid stick, chucked it and started walking again.

I followed. Very unhappily.

I really want to kiss Jared.

But I'm a dork and blurt out stupid things so it's no wonder he doesn't want to kiss me.

I sneezed and he looked back at me. "Oh, that's cute."

"Shut up!" I groaned. I really do wish he'd stop calling me that. I don't want to be cute. Zain is cute. Babies are cute. People you feel sorry for are cute.

He took my hands in his again and kept walking.

I sneezed once more and he tried not to laugh.

"That really is the cutest sneeze I've ever heard."

I shoved him and he grinned that smile that makes me want to fling myself at him.

Why does he have to be so goddamn beautiful?

It's torture to have to look at him and know I'll never have him.

Zain came up to me and jumped up, his wet muddy paws all over my favorite sweater. Great. I sneezed again and he yelped out of fright and ran off. He's a bit pathetic really, isn't he?

Oh well, he's probably the only male specials that will ever love me.

Kim Conweller,

Full-time Idiot

P.S. Jared kissed my cheek again when he left. It's starting to become the way we say goodbye. I hope it is. He's so lovely. Why does he have to be so lovely?

Okay so it's a reaaally short chapter today but more will probably be up tomorrow so you won't have to wait too long for more. I hope you liked it even if it was short.

Thanks again everyone for reading and for those who have reviewed or favourited this, it means a lot and I really do appreciate it :)