April 23

Dear Diary,

The list didn't help. I still follow Jared around, gripping onto his hand as if my life depends on it. I know this isn't good for me but I can't help it. It was naïve of me to think I'd ever be able to stop falling for him. I've already too far gone.

It doesn't help that he's so gorgeous and sweet and kind and flirty and touchy-feely. Maybe he's leading me on. I hope he doesn't know I'm falling for him.

Apparently Jared has something he wants to tell me. He's taking me out somewhere tomorrow after work. I think it has something to do with the bears. And the skipping school.

Did you know he smells really nice? It's like freshly moan grass, rain and something else. I think he noticed me sniffing him today. I don't think I care.

Today I sat with him for lunch. It didn't go well.

"Hey," Jared said as he came up behind me, his fingers gently wrapping around my elbow. I turned to him and smiled so wide I probably looked crazy. I just can't help it.

I craned my head up to look at him. I still can't get over how tall he is.

"Will you come sit with me?" he asked casually, motioning the table that Paul and Embry were sitting at. Embry started hanging around with them this week. I don't know why he suddenly did, because he's a year below us but he's not talking to his old friends either. I was talking to Jared on the phone and all of a sudden he just said 'I gotta go'. He and Paul didn't come into school for the rest of last week and up to Wednesday of this week (although Jared still made frequent trips to my house, where I wouldn't let go of him because I missed him so much) and when they returned yesterday Embry was hanging out with them.

There's only the three of them so why the hell did I feel myself starting to panic at the thought of sitting with them? Oh, I remember. Because his friends are ginormous. When they're all walking down the hallway together people will literally jump into lockers so they're not blocking their way. Not Jared, though. He's too sweet to be terrifying. And Embry's a sweetheart. It's mostly just Paul. I think he could squish me with his little finger. And I don't think he likes me much either so he probably would do that.

It would be so much easier to just make up some excuse that I had to sit with Oli to explain homework, or I'd promised the others I'd sit with them, or that I had to go to my locker and then I could just go back to the normal table that I sit with my normal friends and everything would be lovely and normal.

But everything wasn't normal. This overwhelming need to spend time and be physically close to Jared wasn't normal.

Jared's fingers squeezed my elbow and then ran down my forearm. "Please?" he asked adorably.

I will most probably make a fool out of myself. I'll look like an idiot. His friends are all probably wondering why the hell that he wants me there. I think Paul is already really annoyed that I'm around all the time now. But he looked at me with those eyes and I bit my lip and nodded.

Jared grinned, his hand slipping down to my hand as his fingers slipped in between mine and he started to pull me off towards the table of doom. Okay, I'm probably overreacting.

We reached the table and Paul looked at Jared then at our joined hands, then at me, then at the joined hands, then at Jared, then he grinned and gave him a cheeky little wink before going back to talking to Embry. He does that every time he sees us touching.

"Oh," Jared said sadly, rubbing his belly. "I forgot to get food. Do you want anything?" he asked me and I shook my head negatively.

"I'll have what ever you're having," Paul said and Embry nodded in agreement.

Jared pulled a face at them, squeezed my hand and left me there.

The fucker just left me there!

I sat down and Paul and Embry shared a look, almost twin smirks lighting up their devilish faces before they quickly scrambled to fill the seats next to me.

"Did you know Jared still wets the bed?" Paul asked, leaning against the table to look at me, a serious expression on his face.

"Yeah. He gets nightmares really bad," Embry agreed, nodding solemnly. "Oh, and did you know he used to breast feed up until he was eleven?"

"Yep. Our Jared sure loves titty milk."

I started to choke and they shared those evil grins.

"That's why he and his mom are so close," Embry added. "Did you know he's really close to his mom?"

"Mmm," Paul nodded. "Jared's a right little mommy's boy. Have you met her?"

I shook my head. Luckily I'd managed to escape that. I hadn't met any of Jared's family except his younger brother, who I am now madly in love with. He's adorable in every single way. But I hadn't met his parents and luckily, even if he'd met Scott more than a few times now, he hasn't had the misfortune of running into my mother.

"You should meet her. She's really nice," Paul said, grinning at me in an evil way that made me really not want to meet her.

"Although she'd probably hate you for trying to take her baby away from her," Embry mused.

"Oh, yeah," Paul nodded in agreement, squeezing my arm. "You don't wanna upset Mommy Thail. If you hurt her baby boy then you will not see the light of day ever again."

"I'll bare that in mind," I said slowly and he laughed. Loudly.

It was torture.

"Has Jared not invited you to meet his mom yet?" Embry asked, smirking towards the cafeteria line. I take it back. Embry is not a sweetheart. He is as bad as Paul.

"No! Why would he?" I think I protested a bit too much.

Paul's lips twitched and he leant in but Jared dropped his tray onto the table, making me jump about a foot into the air. I turned to see him glaring at his two friends with frustrated eyes.

He punched Paul hard in the shoulder and I winced, but Paul didn't seem that hurt. "That's my seat."

Paul laughed happily and, while rubbing his shoulder nonchalantly, got up and went back to his original seat – not after pinching a few fries off of Jared's plate.

"Ignore anything and everything that they just said to you," he told me, still glaring at the other two.

"Okay…"

"I hate you two so much," he said, sitting down.

They just laughed happily as if nothing had happened.

But then two guys in the year below us walked past. Jacob and Quil. They're like Quileute royalty for some reason because their family are in the council. That's just La Push for you, I guess.

The whole table went silent as the two guys walking past glared at all of us. They're Embry's old friends. Considering the school's so small, you usually know pretty much everyone and who they're friends with, even if I wasn't ever really someone who took much notice. It's one of the reasons I hate living on this reservation – there is absolutely no privacy.

The table filled with a thick, awkward silence. Jared and Paul just stared straight back (Jared even draping his arm over the back of my chair when they looked at me) and Embry just stared at the table, suddenly looking sullen.

The two passed and they went and sat on a table on the opposite side of the hall.

There was still an awkwardness filling the table.

It really was going so well.

The nosey side of me really wanted to ask 'What the hell just happened?' but from the guys' faces I could tell they didn't want to talk about it.

Jared shifted uneasily and I looked up at him.

He pulled the arm off the back of my chair, mumbling something along the lines of, "I'll explain it later." I nodded and he tucked into his food.

Embry looked over his shoulder at his former friends and they continued to glare at him.

"Do you wanna come round tonight?" Jared asked after a moments silence.

"To your house?" he looked at me, chewing on his food slowly, and nodded. "…will your mom be there?"

The other two started laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Jared swallowed and glared at them.

He turned back to me and opened his mouth but I smiled. "I'm kidding, it's fine. I'd love to."

Turns out though, his mom wasn't there, so that was very good. I was shit scared about meeting 'Mommy Thail' after what those two had said. I know half the stuff they come out with is bollocks, but still. There had to be some truth in what they said.

"Do you want any food? Or a drink?" was the first thing Jared said when we stepped into his house.

One thing that I have learnt about Jared, and his friends for that matter, is that they eat a lot. Like, freaking shit loads. I don't know how they're not fat. I guess they are all pretty tall and they're all really muscley. I do a little happy sigh whenever I think about Jared and his muscles. He takes his top off a lot. Apparently he 'gets too hot' but I think he just likes making me tongue-tied.

"No I'm alright, thank you."

"Sure?" he said as he rummaged through his fridge, drank a can of soda in one gulp, crumpled it in one hand and effortlessly chucked it into the bin over his shoulder, then ate a banana in about two bites and then made the biggest sandwich I've ever seen in my life. He just kept adding things to it.

"What?" he said and then chucked a massive chunk of about half the cucumber into his mouth before starting to put some of the ingredients back. He must have seen my look.

I shook my head at him and helped him put it all away.

"You."

"What?" he repeated, laughing.

"You're not normal, you know that, right?" I said.

Jared took a massive bite out of his sandwich and gave out a loud, appreciative moan. He closed his eyes and swallowed happily.

When his eyes opened again he smiled at me before he ducked down and brushed a soft kiss to my cheek, causing my heart to flutter as always.

"I know," he said casually before walking through to his front room.

I stood there for a moment to try and regain control before I followed after him.

"Kim?" he said as I sat down next to him.

"Yes?" I replied as he took another bite.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked and I tried not to get too excited. The thought of spending time with him always makes happy.

"We'll I've got work till one, but nothing after that."

He nodded and took another bite. He was definitely trying to wind me up by taking so long to ask whatever it was he was building up to

I picked some fluff off my leg and then looked back up at him. I've been trying not to stare at him so much but I'm failing miserably. I just can't keep my eyes off him. And then he'll catch me staring at him and he'll grin and then my face will heat up and I'll look away in embarrassment. This happens about ten times a day.

"Will you come out with me after work?" he asked once he swallowed. I nodded, trying not to look too eager.

"Good. I sort of…" he put his sandwich down and so I knew this shit was serious. "I have something I need to tell you," he said quietly, turning to face me. I nodded curiously. "But I'm really scared. Paul thinks I'm stupid for telling you so soon but I can't stand lying to you. He says he wouldn't tell a girl till about a year after."

After what?

I slipped my hand into his.

"You don't have to worry, Jared. I'm sure it'll be fine."

He squeezed his hand around mine and then brought it to his lips.

"Of course I'm going to worry, Kim. This is… quite a big thing. And I care about you."

He placed my hand back down and picked up his sandwich, carrying on eating.

"Mmm," he put his plate on the coffee table when he'd finished eating. "That was one good mother fucking sandwich."

I laughed because I couldn't not. Even if my mind was going freaking crazy over this whole situation, and the fact he just said he cared about me, I can't help but laugh at Jared.

"You and your food, Jared."

He smiled at me, rubbing his belly in content.

"I don't understand how you're not fat," I commented.

"I've got good genes," he replied.

"I wish I did."

"No, you don't," he said, laughing to himself.

"What?" he shrugged and waved me off, but there was still that look in his eyes. That 'I know something you don't know' look. He, Paul and now Embry seem to get that a lot. I don't quite get it.

Maybe that might have something to do with what he has to tell me tomorrow.

"Oh, tomorrow we're gonna go see some people. They're gonna tell you some… stuff before I do."

I turned back to him. "Who?"

"Err –" he didn't look like he wanted to tell me. "The Elders."

"The Elders?"

"Yeah. Well, just one."

"Quileute Elders, you mean? From the council?"

"Yeah."

I was so confused that words can't even describe it. "Why would they want to speak to me?"

He wasn't looking at my eyes now so I could tell he was finding it a bit awkward answering these questions. But I didn't care. I do not want to go speak to the Elders.

"He's gonna help me tell you something important."

"How important?" I hadn't been that worried before but now the freaking La Push Council was getting involved I was freaking out. I can't think of anything more awful than to sit around with a bunch of old guys who I've never spoken before. I've seen them all and I'm sure Mom and Scott are friends with one of the ol' geezers but I'm not understanding what they have got to do with me. Or Jared, for that matter. Why is he all chummy with the council?

"It's important to us," he said softly.

"Us?"

"Me and you," he looked up into my eyes and smiled.

"But what is there to do with us that they're gonna tell me?"

Jared's finger curled around a strand of my hair. "That would be telling," he grinned, giving it a gentle tug.

I sighed and unconsciously leant in closer to him.

"Do I have to go talk to them?"

"Yes please. For me?" he looked down at me with those cheeky, happy, gorgeous eyes and I couldn't say no. I dropped my face to his shoulder and groaned.

"Thank you," he said through a laugh. I'm not good with new people.

We sat there for quite a few hours, just talking about random and meaningless things (food was brought up again, as always, and now I have to make Jared my speciality: fish finger sandwiches), but I can't get the whole situation that's going on tomorrow out of my head.

Why the hell am I meeting the freaking Elders?

It baffles my brain. I'm so nervous. What the hell is it they're going to tell us? Well, me. I like that Jared called him and I 'us'.

Urgh. I'm so obsessed.

It's half eleven so I'm going to try and go to bed. I'm still not having much luck with sleep. How am I meant to sleep when all I can think about is Jared?

Obsessed doesn't even cover it anymore.

Kim Conweller

Okay so you can all probably tell what it is that's gonna be coming up, so it's not that much of a mystery. I think when I go into explaining the legends and the facts I won't go into too much detail because you've probably heard it all a thousand times before if you read a lot of fanfiction on this, but Kim will go over it a bit and then go over more of it in later chapters. The next chapter is really short but it's like that for a reason, and I'll be posting up the next two chapters together so it's not pointless :)

As always, a massive thanks to everyone who's giving this a shot and to those reviewing because I really appreciate the feedback, good or bad.

This is gonna be a weird question, but do you guys in America not have double decker busses? Haha, I was listening to a band on the radio and they mentioned they can't get two storey band busses over in the USA. That seems really bizarre to me, is there a reason why you don't have them?

Vanessa - Haha, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, I'm glad you like it! :)