notes/warnings
+ swearing. surprise!
+ permanent warning for this arc for implied past sexual assault.
Test
It's okay, it's normal. It's perfectly normal. L is a weapon. L's heart is a weapon. It is perfectly normal for any reasonable person to want to take such weapons for themselves.
Nothing is wrong.
Everything is fine.
L is still disgusting, the worst thing in the world. Everything he does is…
Wrong.
Or at least, he was wrong. Must have been wrong. Inarguably wrong. People become victims of their own stubbornness, and what befalls them isn't anyone else's fault. Inescapable. Blameless.
L is pretending to be good. Pretending to be a hero. Trying to make up for all the people he's tortured and failed to save.
I did. I did.
And that boy always says 'don't look', but what does he know?
Mail contacts the small group of apparently-trustworthy police officers that L has subcontracted for this mission, and tells them that Bryce's name has been mentioned.
They have all been schooled to lie about Naomi, if prompted by anyone unfamiliar. Nathan Bryce has been given more information than his colleagues. He is the one who knew Naomi 'well', who must lie accurately and in detail. His colleagues have only been given vague details. Like the fact that she ever worked with them. And the fact that she left to pursue her Kira worship.
Takada is almost certain to contact them somehow. If she actually instructs Naomi to capture or harm Bryce, the station is going to fake his death. He has some history of psychologically traumatic experiences, so suicide will not seem suspicious to Takada.
In case she digs deeply.
They have no idea how far she'll go. Raye doesn't even want to think about it.
A precious twenty-four hours pass before Takada contacts Naomi again, and he's pretty sure even L is getting antsy by the time the phone finally rings.
"My Lady," Naomi answers, with sickening delight. "What would you have me do?"
"You sound surprised," Takada replies indulgently. "Did you think I'd forgotten about you?"
"I wasn't sure how long you planned to test me in this way," Naomi admits.
"Careful, N," L murmurs.
"You're intelligent, aren't you?"
Naomi looks graciously confused by the question.
"I consider myself ordinary, my Lady. Except, it seems, in the size of my faith. I would not have thought that it took a particularly extraordinary person to support justice and a safe world, but apparently, it does."
"I understand your feelings completely," Takada replies. "Tell me, Naomi, do you have any friends?"
This tap is really fucking amazing, to be able to pick up both sides of a phone conversation. Watari is a damned genius.
"I was afraid you might ask that. I renounced those that would not join me in my faith. That, unfortunately, turned out to be everyone around me."
She's so good at this. She's so clever and beautiful. Raye hates to think that she'll be stuck in that dusty flat, all on her own, for however long this takes.
L better be fucking grateful. He's lucky to have a woman like Naomi around.
Raye is lucky to have a woman like her around. And he can't wait until they finally, finally get to live a normal life.
And Raye's been thinking about a lot of things these past few days, and he thinks he's realized something new about his boss. He thinks he's worked out what bothers him so deeply. It's not just L's social ineptness, or L's hold over his wife, or L's lack of basic hygiene skills. It's not even the danger that L puts them in on a near-daily basis.
It's this as well; L carries Light on his back.
Not physically, of course, because if Light were actually hanging off of L like an overgrown tumour, then they could just shoot him and be done with it. It's metaphorical, and psychological. Even when Light has been rotting in hell for millions of years, L will always remember the man who destroyed him. He won't ever forget, and because of that, he won't ever stop fighting.
And if Light ever does claw his way back into the real world, then L is going to be ground zero. Light is no idiot, and he's bound to take out those who succeeded in defeating him, before he targets anyone else. As far as Raye understands, the key players in Light's demise were Mello, Near, and L. And Light will know that L is still the biggest threat of all.
So, yeah. The plan is to defeat this Takada woman, and then leave. And then they really will have escaped Kira himself.
Then they can be happy. And together. Forever.
"That is unfortunate," Takada says soothingly. "Do you still have any access to police databases?"
Naomi tilts her head thoughtfully, and then smiles.
"I guess that would depend if they've changed all of the codes," she muses. "But I could certainly try."
"Excellent, excellent, all in good time," Takada says warmly. "Let us see how useful you can be, Naomi Penber."
"Excellent?" Ryuk asks, grinning a little. "You don't usually compliment your underlings, toots."
Takada scowls at him and steels her expression.
"She will be easily manipulated," she replies tersely. "And she seems to hold some intelligence, unlike certain gods I could mention."
"So…it's okay to manipulate and use the people around you even if they are loyal to Kira and have tried their best to be good people?" Ryuk asks, baffled.
"They've consented to it by joining me," Takada replies, taking a sip of her coffee. "Besides, if they truly worship Kira, then they'll be grateful to be of assistance. Whatever it costs them."
"Oh."
Takada has gone back to staring at her security monitors, so Ryuk turns and waves at Rae, who is lurking malevolently in the corner.
Humans are crazy, he mouths.
Rae ignores him.
Ryuk sighs heavily, and flops to the floor. Six hours ago, he consumed the very last apple left in the building. He's already starting to get cramps.
He's never been great at understanding humans, and spending roughly five years with Light didn't exactly help. Or maybe it did, since he is now completely aware that humans can lie, and cheat, and murder, and still pretend to be good people.
Or maybe Light really was a good person. A good person who went to hell for being too good, or something. Ryuk is just a death god, after all. What does he know about good and evil?
Besides, judging humans makes Shinigami go slowly insane, if Jas is any indicator. He'll just stick to apples and being entertained. He has no desire to find out the depths of what goes on in these tiny human minds.
Speaking of entertainment, he really misses Emma. More than he expected to. He's never met a human so dedicated to making him happy. He thinks he should stay with her for a long time. He's going to give her his death note, when he's through with Takada.
Of course, Emma keeps asking him where her son is. Some sort of vendetta, or something. Ryuk wishes he could tell her. That would be an awesome fight. L would probably lose. Heh.
"Are you just going to watch her all night?" Ryuk asks. "She's asleep. I don't think she's going to do anything."
Takada rolls her eyes.
"You have no understanding of the desperation of those that pursue me," she replies dismissively. "From what I've heard, L would willingly sacrifice his soul to prevent Light from being restored. I cannot simply presume to trust anyone."
"And you want to trust this Naomi, is that right?"
Takada smiles unpleasantly.
"Yes. Perhaps. Or perhaps I simply wish to use her talents, for as long as I can."
"Huh," Ryuk replies.
When he looks at the corner again, Rae has disappeared. Reporting back to L, maybe? Surely there isn't anything to report. Unless Rae is reporting the fact that Takada still doesn't trust Naomi.
Humans are so confusing. Ryuk sort of wishes that they all could just get along. And bulldoze all the cities and plant entire valleys full of apple orchards instead.
He's a Shinigami of simple desires, really.
It's quite peaceful here. The calm before the storm. Naomi spends her time doing perfectly ordinary, wholesome, law-abiding things. And worshipping Kira.
Her only companions are Takada's voice, and a giant skeleton. Rae can speak freely, even in this godforsaken place. Its voice doesn't seem to carry over to the taps, and Takada certainly cannot hear it.
And its words grow more poisonous by the hour.
"Aren't you angry that he's sent you in here - into the lion's den - while he's safe in his car a few blocks away?"
Naomi clasps her hands in front of her chin, and kneels down on the floor.
"O, Kira," she says softly. "Grant me the courage to accept my destiny, and guide me to where I ought to be."
Your words do not upset me, Shinigami.
What else have you got?
"Right," Rae snorts, and wanders off.
It bounces between her flat, Takada's base, and L. Riling it won't help her situation, but if it puts her in danger, it puts L in danger.
And it will not do that. She is safe, no matter how angry she makes it.
Besides, it is always Rae who starts the fight. Like a petulant child, desperate to beat her, anxious to have the final word. Obsessively trying to prove something.
Eventually, Rae comes back. Rae always comes back.
"You know he loved Matsuda more than you, right? If you were hoping for a relationship with him, I'd give up on that idea. For your own good."
"Help me to be a better person, Kira," Naomi prays. "Absolve me of my jealousy, but more importantly, absolve others who are more burdened than I. Help us all to live in peace."
If I were hoping for a relationship? Me? I think you're getting confused, now.
"You bitch."
Naomi smiles benevolently.
Then she runs to the bathroom to throw up.
The message comes via the website, at two in the morning. A mostly blank application, with only the 'comments' section filled. She nearly discards it without reading.
'Kiyomi Takada.
I have escaped, but we cannot communicate here. The email address below is secure.
You may ask me three questions to prove my identity.
Light.'
Her heart stops dead in her chest. The world around her seems to freeze; lifeless, captured. She cannot…she cannot comprehend…
Light.
This isn't possible.
The third day of monitoring, and Takada is still keeping Naomi at arm's length. Winning her over is proving to be more difficult than predicted. They are effectively running out of time. And Naomi's illness has returned in full force.
L is worried. This plan cannot fail. Failure would be disastrous. For everyone involved.
"Things just got stranger," Rae announces, appearing on the seat beside him.
"What happened?"
"Takada just received an application from someone claiming to be Light."
L's vision swims with cold terror, and it takes him a few seconds to realize that he's hyperventilating. Rae thumps him on the back.
"Stop that, will you?" it demands.
L's hands shake. The bag of sweets tumbles to the floor and spills. He cannot think.
"Is it him?" he croaks. "What will I do if it's him?"
"It's not him," Rae says irritably. "It's clearly a trap. Have any other detectives been hired to stop faux-Kira, to your knowledge?"
"You won't protect me from him, will you?" L says quietly. "I've never been able to convince you. If he's back, and I'm without you, I can't. I can't."
He ought to be mortified, but he isn't. The enormity of Light overshadows everything. If those in hell can truly come to the second world at will, then his death is imminent, only a matter of time. Perhaps a matter of seconds. Light is waiting in the wings with a dagger. He can taste the bile, taste the heart attack, taste the defeat.
To die without winning.
Again.
"This is ridiculous," Rae says, and hits him a second time. "Snap out of it! This isn't about Light, it's about Takada. Someone is manipulating her."
"He's manipulating her. He's manipulating everyone. We are all his puppets."
Rae snags him by the collar of his much-abused shirt and drags him forward until they are eye to blood-red eye.
"Listen, dick. I am a Shinigami. A god of death. Light is not here. There is no Light. If Light tries to kill you, I will stop him. I want you to use the note, remember?"
"I know," L gasps, pushing a hand through his hair. He's so tired. He can't do this, and he isn't sure why he ever thought that he could. "I know, but he. He might get around even you. The two of us together, no, but. But divided."
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm still working with you. And I'm twenty times the detective you are. If Light shows up, I will know."
"You don't even know how Takada got here," L says accusingly.
"What do I have to say to make you pull yourself together?" Rae grits. "You are too useful for me to allow you to be killed at this point. You know I desire the throne more than anything else. Even if I cannot rationalize the appearance of a person, I can stop them from murdering you. Do you believe me?"
L looks away.
I want to believe you.
I do. It's just. He's everywhere. He's been everywhere ever since I met him. The monster under my bed.
Surely a Shinigami can overpower a monster, right? It was a god of death who killed Light, in the end.
"All right," L says eventually, shoving his panic into a small, mostly-manageable corner of his mind. "We don't tell the others we have any suspicions that this might be the real Light. We presume it's either a detective or an obsessed fan, trying to get to her."
"Thank goodness," Rae groans. "Seriously, why are you such an emotional wreck?"
"I don't know," L says, scooping a handful of sweets off the floor. He shoves all of them into his mouth.
Rae looks away. Apparently it hates all flavours of sweets. L wonders if his diet has been the problem all along. If he stopped eating sugar, would Rae like him again?
But he needs sugar to function. Maybe he could try, when this is over. When everyone is safe. Would he sacrifice his powers of deduction to have Rae back?
He clears his throat, and tries to regain control of the situation.
"What are Takada's plans for faux-Light?" he asks, trying not to flinch on the final word.
"She's going to meet him tomorrow."
Despite the ever-looming threat of Light's return, L's mind goes into overdrive.
Rae has learned things. Things that can be used, now.
Moustache accompanies Takada everywhere. And Naomi has seen Moustache.
Kiyomi is going to meet faux-Light in person. She will be suspicious, too suspicious to give any information away. But hopeful enough to go, perhaps. She will go disguised, heavily armed, and with some death note paper on her.
The other detective, whoever he is, will not gain a valid confession from her.
But L is fifty-two percent sure that she will inform Naomi as to what she intends to do.
"Do you know where they intend to meet?"
"Yes. A bistro on the other side of town. Takada is still wary. She seems to think Light is being held prisoner somewhere."
"No prison bigger than hell," L says, and grins a little. "Thank you, Rae. You have been unendingly useful. We are going to give Kiyomi Takada every reason in the world to trust Naomi. And then we are going to abuse that trust, and take her into custody. And Light will never be able to come back."
"You have a plan, huh?"
"Oh yes," L replies. "I have a plan."
L is.
L is this thing. Like if you took away all of his power, all of his intelligence, and most of his autonomy, he'd make a nice pet.
If he weren't so dangerous, and so utterly morally debased, he'd be worth saving. As he is, he's only useful as a trophy. Killing him is a trophy. Breaking his heart is a trophy. Hijacking that power – his power – for oneself is a trophy.
It isn't difficult to see why people want him, which is the concerning thing.
Breaking him from his ways, and converting him to one's own way of thinking, that must be a trophy, too.
But he's so angry, and resentful.
And blind. It's kind of sad.
I did it, and you.
Maybe next time, you'll cheer.
Takada is suspicious. Since she received that message, she's been practically vibrating with terror.
Every question, answered correctly.
Who was the third member of our group, and what did you call him.
'Teru Mikami. T.'
What was the real name of the man who kidnapped me?
'Mihael Keehl.'
How did I die?
'You burned. I told you to burn.'
But is that really enough? The problem is this; she and Light held no special secrets, no easy way to identify each other. The things she knows, plenty of other people might know too, by now. Who knows how many details were released in the first world, after they both died.
And yet, she agreed to meet him. In person. Behind a mask, of course, but she will go. She has to go. She has to be sure that it is not him. If it is a trap, then she will know. She has supporters. She will not go alone. But she will go. Tomorrow.
Because if it is Light, if he has escaped, then Jason will be furious. And if that is the case, then she will not have much time. She has to get to him. Together, they will be able to ruin Jason once and for all.
And then bring about their perfect world.
And nothing will ever come between them, ever again. No L. No Misa. No Mello. Nothing.
Terror and hope. That is all she feels. Terror and hope. She is stuck in this place, frightened of her own shadow, surrounded by fools and murderers. They will be useful, until Kira is reinstated. Then they will be disposed of.
She has no friends here. No one will truly care if she perishes. They will mourn her ideals, and her power, but not her.
Even forlorn, petrified, and desperately hopeful, there is no good excuse for picking up her phone and calling Naomi. But she does, anyway. She needs someone to know. Just in case.
"Yes, my Lady?"
Naomi is fresh from a shower, hair wet, skin waxy and pale. The security cameras produce high-quality images. Takada can make out the water droplets trickling down her nose.
"Your illness still haunts you, Naomi?"
Naomi turns her eyes to the ceiling.
"Perhaps Kira will cure me, if he sees fit," she says thoughtfully.
"I will be sure to put in a good word for you," Takada tells her. "Listen, I want you to know something. Tomorrow, I am going to meet someone. Someone who is either an imposter, or our Lord. I want you to know this, in case I do not return."
"Would you have me accompany you, my Lady?" Naomi asks, sounding aghast.
Takada feels strangely mollified. Concern. Concern from a stranger, who perhaps works for L. If this is L's trap, then Naomi will confirm that Takada intends to go.
And yet, this woman seems so earnest.
Some people are tremendous actors. But surely there are innocent people in the world, yet. Good people. People to save.
Everything is a test, Naomi. Will you pass?
Will I pass? Will I save Light? Can I actually beat Jason?
"No."
"Then," Naomi announces dreamily. "I will pray for you."
"Very good," Takada says smoothly. "You can call this number if you need anything while I am gone. You may visit the pharmacy down the road if you need medication."
"Thank you," Naomi wafts. "You are very kind. I take it that you trusting me with this information is part of my screening, yes?"
"You are clever," Takada tells her. "Do not be too clever."
Naomi gasps.
"I am sorry, my Lady!"
Takada disconnects with a click, and turns away from the screens. Her staff will watch over Naomi while she is gone. They are loyal, in that way. In most ways. Only the most loyal stay by her side.
She will not sleep so much as a second tonight, she knows.
"She has contacted Naomi," L tells them, sounding a little excited. "Things are going according to plan."
"For once," Mail intones.
"You sound so pleased with yourself," Raye snarls into his headset. "Might I ask a question, oh great detective? Why didn't you think to impersonate Light to lure her out?"
"I do not believe such a tactic is likely to lead to an arrest," L replies. "I do not think faux-Kira is foolish. She will not approach an imposter. Don't forget she has the Shinigami eyes, and the probable assistance of a Shinigami. She will know immediately if she is dealing with the real Light."
"And of course, it won't be the real Light, so she'll cut and run," Raye groans, rubbing at his face. He feels disgusting. The whole vehicle is starting to smell like Mail, which is akin to smelling like nicotine steeped in day-old sweat.
"Yes," L says quietly.
Deep down, Raye seethes. Because he's one hundred fucking percent sure that L is lying. L never thought of this. L does everything the hard way.
He's sick to death of his boss. The end of this case cannot come soon enough.
"Your role in tomorrow's events is vital, Raye," L continues. "Do you remember the instructions I gave you?'
"Keep my mask on, keep my head down, keep my gun obvious, and take orders from the bloody skeleton," he replies darkly. "Got it."
"There is no need for that attitude," L says, sounding bewildered. "If faux-Kira is not frightened enough of faux-Light, your part will be necessary for this undertaking to have any success at all."
"I know that," Raye hisses. "I just don't like anything about this situation. It's too risky."
But you don't care. You don't care about anyone.
Sometimes, I almost feel bad for that Shinigami, having feelings for you. It must be like having feelings for a brick wall.
Or for Light.
Raye isn't spiteful enough to say that out loud, of course.
"If you're really bothered by it, I'll go," Mail offers. "I'm not afraid of being shot at."
"No," L says firmly. "I need you to stay here and monitor the feed. Raye doesn't have the skills to fix any networking problems that might occur."
L is nothing if not a damn good liar, after all. And Mail in a position where he'd possibly lay eyes on Takada would be disastrous, in so many ways.
Raye tries not to think about how he must feel. About what it's like to lose the one you love, permanently.
Naomi promised him no separation would ever be permanent, but what does she know? If it happened to Mail, it might happen to them. Things might go wrong. Raye might wind up in hell. He's never been as good-hearted as his beautiful wife.
Naomi wouldn't grieve for him. Not forever. Not the way Mail does.
Mello is a really fucking lucky bastard, wherever he is.
"I'll go," Raye tells L loudly. "It's not me I'm worried about."
"You're not telling the others about the questions, either," Rae notes. "To stop them from panicking?"
"Whoever answered those questions clearly knew a lot about Light," L replies tersely. "Otherwise, Takada wouldn't be meeting up with them. I've contacted Watari to run checks on prominent local and international detectives. Someone out there is coming up with other strategies against this woman. Or…"
"Don't say it," Rae replies. "Seriously. I told you. He's not here, and I won't let him kill you."
And there is his one little bit of peace. Rae will protect him.
God, he misses brown-eyed Rae. He misses his friend. He misses his ally.
He is mildly concerned by the way his heart leaps whenever Rae's eyes deviate even slightly from their normal cherry-red.
He is extremely concerned that this phenomenon is happening at all. Rae told him it was fixed. Rae told him it was better. If it starts losing its ability to move quickly, and read names, and fly, and whatever else…at a time like this…
Naomi would be at serious and excessive risk.
"I know," L whispers.
But he cannot help thinking that he'd really like Matsuda by his side, right now. Preferably with a gun.
Just in case.
tbc
a/n:
+ this chapter is short because I went to WICKED this weekend, and it was awesome. no apologies today!
+ so it seems I may be moving house over the coming weeks. will try to maintain weekly updates, no promises though, okay?
+ thank you!