April 26

Dear Diary,

My life's gone tits up.

However, I have never been happier in my life.

I didn't go out all day Sunday. I didn't answer my cell when Jared rang or sent a text because I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to say to him. I didn't really want to speak to anyone, which was probably why I ended up having a massive argument with my Mom over something mundane. Mom and I seldom fight because I don't think there's really that much for us to fight about. I'm not exactly the type who sneaks out to smoke weed down the cliffs at night like some kids on the rez and I can't really fault Mom. Mostly that's just because she's not here that much – she's a lawyer and I understand that her work means a lot, so I'm fine now that she spends a lot of time at work, and I understand that she's really stressed when she gets home. We don't fight so that's why it was a bit surprising. Plus, I take all of my aggression out on Jason, and he me.

Anyway, I'm getting off track again.

I hadn't spoken to Jared since Saturday afternoon and it's now Monday, so by this morning I was feeling a bit… distressed, to say the least. I kept going over everything he told me on Saturday and my brain just couldn't handle it. I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to say to Jared when I didn't even know how I felt.

There are no such things as werewolves and vampires. I knew that. That's what I've always believed. I've never even doubted it. There are some people in the world that actually believe in this sort of stuff and I always thought they must have a few screws loose.

So I most be totally off my rocker.

There's just something about Jared…

He believed it. He was telling the truth, I knew it. He had to be. And unless he's completely mental and he only believes it to be true and it's not – which is the most logical explanation, but I don't think that's what's happening – then I can't help but believe him. I don't know if I believe what it is that he's telling me, but I believe him.

If you'd told me a month ago that I'd be on the way to believing in werewolves then I would have thought you were an idiot. I'm more of the logical, scientific type. Not the 'I believe in mythical creatures' type.

Aysel picked me up because Jared hadn't said that he would, which I was bit upset about. Not that I didn't want a lift off Aysel, because she's great and I really appreciate it, but I was really kind of hoping to see him before school started.

It was probably a good thing though because the girls were getting a bit annoyed that I was ditching them for Jared. Which Asyel informed me of the moment I got in the car by saying, "The girls are getting annoyed that you're ditching us for Jared."

"Always so subtle," I replied dryly and she shook her head at me.

"Just thought I should warn you. You know what those two are like."

"I'm really not ditching you, though," I moaned.

"They're probably just jealous that Jared hasn't gone starry-eyed over them," she said, smirking.

My cheeks burned red and I leaned my head into my hand, my elbow on the car door as I tried to hide my blushing face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I mumbled.

We pulled up outside Lucy's and after the usual hundred times it takes to beep the horn to get her to leave, she came bouncing out, her big fluffy hair blowing around her head. I love her hair so much. It's so gorgeous, although she always moans that it's too thick. I wish I had thicker hair.

"Sorry! Sorry! Stop beeping that freaking horn!" she shouted as she chucked her bag inside the car in a flurry, strapping herself in and closing the door before trying to flatten her hair from the dreadful wind and rain.

"Oh, hello Kim. I'm surprised you're not getting a lift with Jared."

I looked over at Aysel, who was smirking to herself as she kept her eyes on the road, trying not to laugh.

I had to bite my tongue not to say anything.

Lucy carried on talking, not stopping when Michele got in.

"You know we're only looking out for you, you know that, Kim? It just seems odd that he has this sudden intense interest in you." Oh, if only they knew. "And you don't seem like his type. I mean that in a good way. Do you know who his last girlfriend was? Isi. Yeah. Isi Hurit. Apparently they had sex in her sister's bed. How rank is that? You're not like that. I mean, when was the last time you even had a boyfriend? A long time."

It felt like I'd been punched in the stomach by the strongest man in the world to think of Jared getting it on with other girls. I wasn't completely naïve, I know he had sex with other girls. He was a seventeen year old guy living on a rez where there is literally nothing to do. And even before he bulked up he was more beautiful than any guy in our school (I'm probably a bit biased, though) so I understand that he would have had sex. I've heard a few girls talking about having sex with him and… it just hurt a lot to think of him with other girls. It shouldn't, but it did. I had no reason to feel jealous, but I was.

"Jared's really nice. I like him," I said. And I didn't mumble or whisper it. I said it. I liked him. It wasn't something to be embarrassed about. I shouldn't blush or act like an idiot. This 'imprint' thing meant it was going to work out, didn't it? So I shouldn't really worry.

They shut up after that and resided to just speaking about non-Jared related things. I was glad. How was I supposed to not talk about all of this? They were my best friends and yet I wasn't allowed to tell them the biggest thing that's probably ever going to happen to me; I found my soul mate. Apparently. And that soul mate is a werewolf. Apparently.

They'd think I was mental if I said anything to them. But it's now that I really need to talk to them.

By the time we got to school Lucy seemed to have completely forgotten about the Jared situation and was in the middle of telling some hilarious but pointless story. I love her, but she has this habit of telling random, meaningles anecdotes. Well, that was until I saw Jared waiting at my locker, then they all rolled their eyes and carried on walking, mumbling their goodbyes.

Jared's eyes were trained on me as I walked up to him. They were tentative yet still held that same burning intensity.

I slowed to a stop in front of him and I genuinely think he looked a little bit scared. How can they think he's not the most sincere and cutest guy ever?

I couldn't hold back anymore. I gave into that primal need that seems to have been niggling away at me since he 'imprinted'. I couldn't ignore the overwhelming need to be in his arms and I pretty much jumped on him, my feet lifting off the ground as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. His strong warm arms wound around my waist and he enveloped me against his warm, hard chest, squeezing me tighter than I did him. Ever since I'd first given in and hugged him I haven't been able to stop.

"I really missed you," I whispered. I didn't say it proudly like in the car because that was something that was a little bit embarrassing. I wasn't sure where the hell we stood. Maybe he'd get a bit freaked out. I dunno. But I didn't like seeing him so hesitant. It didn't seem natural on his usually confident and cheeky features.

His chest heaved up and down. "I missed you too."

I pulled back and then I kissed his cheek. This is very bold for me, you should be proud.

Jared grinned and placed my feet back on the ground, although his arms stayed firmly around me.

"I thought you weren't ever going to speak to me again," he said as he brushed his fingertips along my cheekbone.

I smiled and gently shoved him off. "Of course I would."

He opened his mouth to speak but the bell went. He sighed. "Meet me back here at lunch?"

I nodded and he took my hand in his, dragging me off to our first lesson.

My heart continued to thump in my chest and my stomach churned. My mind was a mess and I didn't know what to think. Shouldn't I be scared of Jared? I knew I wasn't. The thought didn't even enter my mind when he first told me what he was. I'm usually petrified of people, but I never have been truly scared of him; speaking to him, touching him and spending alone time with him just felt so natural. There's just an easiness that accepts him straight into my heart.

So I guess that's it then, isn't it? I'm friends with a werewolf. I fancy a werewolf.

Great.

I can't believe this.

When I'd started writing this diary I was so worried that I wouldn't have anything to write about. My life just used to be such a routine. Now I'm involved in some supernatural shit. If someone found this diary, then I was in trouble. I'd get sent off to a mental institute for sure. It's quite exciting now, I have to admit. If some secret organisation in the FBI or something found my diary then the shit really would hit the fan. That's quite scary. That's really scary. My diary puts my Gran's to shame.

Jared has completely and utterly changed my life.

How can my life ever be normal now?

What's probably worse is that if I had the choice I wouldn't change it. If it's a choice between a boring life and a bit of insane one with Jared in, I would chose the insane one hands down. The other option doesn't even cut close.

It just doesn't feel real. Although I say I believe him, I don't know if I really do. Maybe if I actually saw him change it would sink in. I'll have to ask him some time. I'll wait till he's in a really good mood.

He wasn't in that much of a good mood today. I think he was worrying a bit. And I sort of ditched him – well, I didn't but I think he was going to ask if I wanted to do something or at least discuss what the hell was going on, because god knows we need to talk.

He told me to meet him at my locker at lunch and he was there before I was, leaning against the lockers as if he owned the place. He smiled brightly at me and my stomach flipped. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to it. I may not be scared of him, but he always makes me so nervous and yet incredibly excited.

"Hey," I said, somehow managing to speak properly.

Jared continued to grin. "Hello beautiful," he said and I quickly opened my locker to 'exchange books'; really it was just to hide my blushing face. He does not need to start complimenting me when I'm just getting used to speaking normally around him.

I shut the locker and brushed my hair behind my ear anxiously. His eyes followed the movement before they rested back on my eyes. They had that look in them again.

He smiled and I continued to blush, looking down. Did you know there's a dent on the locker next to mine? Yep. Just by the lock. I'm surprised it isn't jammed. And it's got a carved in game of tic-tac-toe on it right at the bottom. Why would you do it on the bottom of a locker? Surely you'd have to bend down and it would be really uncomfortable? And who stands in the hallway, carving in a game on the lockers? Surely if they wanted to play it that badly they could find some paper.

"Kim?" I looked back up at Jared, who by now was smiling even harder. "Do you want to–"

"Oh my god, Kim!" Lucy pretty much screamed down my ear as she came up behind me, slamming me into the lockers with her melodramatics. "Guess what I got in the freaking history test!"

I cringed at Jared but he shrugged and waved it off, taking a few steps away. I smiled and he nodded, looking at the locker while I assumed he was waiting for her to go.

"Umm, a B?"

"Not fucking likely!" she exclaimed. "I got a D! A freaking D – not even that. It was a D minus!"

"A D isn't bad!" I tried to tell her. "It was a really hard test, you had no time to prepare and we hadn't really done that much in class…"

"What did you get?"

"Er…"

"You got a freaking A again, didn't you?"

I cringed and she threw her hands up in the air. "That's it! You're coming round mine tonight and you're going to help me learn History. All of it. Every single bit of history that has ever happened in the world, ever. My dad will tear me limb from limb if I fail this subject. Aysel has already agreed to help but I need as much help as I can get. Please, Kimmy, you have to help me!"

My eyes met Jared's, who had now turned to me with the most heart-shatteringly crestfallen face.

Even if I really did need to speak to Jared to sort this… situation out, I couldn't exactly turn my back on Lucy. She was one of my best friends, after all. And her dad would get really angry if she failed.

"I have cake?" she offered, grinning at me hopefully.

Wasn't I supposed to be going on a diet?

"Fine. But don't call me 'Kimmy' ever again."

She smiled. "Awsome. I'll meet you out by the parking lot at the end of last period!" she then walked away, waving as if she didn't have a care in the world anymore and I turned back to Jared.

"Sorry about that," I said but he just shrugged. "You were saying…?"

He shrugged again, forcing a smile. "It doesn't matter anymore. I hope you have fun tonight… Kimmy."

He was testing the waters.

I don't care if he was adorable and handsome and my freaking soul mate. Nobody calls me that.

My killer glare landed on him and his lips twitched into a smirk. Okay, so it wasn't that impressive, but it was still a glare nonetheless.

"Don't call me that."

"What's wrong with Kimmy, Kimmy?" he teased.

"It's disgusting," I told him. "If you keep calling me that I'll never talk to you ever again."

He laughed and grinned at me before leaning against my shut locker. He stared at me for a while.

"I guess I'll just see you tomorrow then," I said and his teeth gently nibbled on his bottom lip. I internally sighed. I wanted to nibble on his bottom lip.

"We'll walk Zain," he told me and I nodded. "And you'll call me the minute you get in."

I smiled. "Will I?"

He slid closer to me. "You will if you know what's good for you."

I laughed, my eyebrows raising. "Is that a threat, Mr. Thail?"

He grinned and pulled me into him, his hands settling at the small of my back.

"Yes. If you don't I'll never take my top in front of you ever again."

I gasped and shoved him. He smirked.

"I hate you. And that's a stupid thing to say anyway, you'd never be able to resist taking your top off because you love being such a show off."

Jared laughed and brushed three soft kisses along my cheekbone.

"That's true, I'd miss watching you squirm too much."

"You're a jerk," I said as I pulled out of his arms. He continued to laugh, his chest rumbling in that lovely way as he wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a hug.

"Oh wow, I always forget how short you are," he said softly, and I pulled away from him and crossed my arms, glaring at him for teasing me, again.

He winked at me and then took hold of my hand, bringing it to his chest.

"Please forgive me, my dearest Kimmy."

I almost screamed in frustration. "Don't call me Kimmy!"

Why is that everyone seems drawn to using that disgusting nickname? How is it I am the only one who can see how truly awful it is?

"I think it's a cute nickname," he said.

"You think everything is cute," I replied, crossing my arms.

Jared smiled and brushed this thumb against my jawbone. "I think everything about you is cute."

I blushed and looked away. "That's because you're an idiot."

He pretended to be hurt and pulled me into him. "Aww, what is with all these insults today?"

I shook my head at him and he kissed my forehead. I relaxed against his body and then realised we were still at school. It's so easy to just forget everything around you when you're with him. He takes up every thought in my mind and then I realise that I'm standing in the hall, wrapped up in his arms, looking up at him as if he's god's greatest creation and everyone's walking past thinking I'm the biggest douche.

I really need to get some self control. I told myself that I wouldn't just go back to how everything was. I wouldn't just fall into his arms because things had changed. He just told me some unbelievable shit and I wasn't just going to pretend everything was normal because it wasn't. My mind was in turmoil; I couldn't think straight and I haven't had any sleep over the weekend. I don't know what I believe in or what my feelings for him are, but I couldn't hold back. I couldn't deny the need to touch him or laugh with him because it just felt so good. And although I was scared with this situation, I was happy. I loved his teasing and touching and his laugh. Oh, I would give anything to hear his laugh. I get so caught up in it. The sound of it is like pure, undiluted happiness and with every little chuckle he warms my heart up that little bit more.

I'll put off coming to terms with this for a little while longer. I just want to happy and to see him being happy.

Yours truly,

Kim Conweller – Not 'Kimmy'. I don't even like being called 'Kimberley', and that's what it says on my birth certificate. It's just Kim. That's it. Just Kim.

Thanks again to everyone reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please share your thoughts, I don't mind whether they're good or bad - I really appreciate constructive criticism :)

I hope I gave a little more insight to how she's feeling about all of this. Although it did seem like last chapter she suddenly believed what he was saying quite quickly, it hasn't really sunk in. She chose to believe what he was saying rather than she actually believed it. In her mind werewolves still aren't real and it will take a little longer for it to sink in properly. I think she'll have to see if first hand to be able to convince herself that it is real.

As always, the next chapter should be up within the next few days :)