Chapter 18 Never give up, it's such a wonderful life

The stadium at St Louis seemed much bigger than Emily remembered it. She'd been in bigger stadiums at bigger meets but this was the most important meet of her life. The butterflies in her stomach were going crazy and she was so nervous she thought she might puke. They past the stadium and went on to their hotel. Steve Tanner had, of course, ensured the most luxurious hotel for the Rock team and even Kelly whistled softly as they entered the foyer. Emily felt totally out of place in her Rock tracksuit and she could tell Sasha didn't like how fancy the place was. No doubt he thought it was distracting.

Sasha clapped once and everyone instantly fell silent, as they'd been trained to do. Sasha looked at each of his athletes. He was incredibly proud of them all.

"Today is one of the most important meets of your life and while you are competing individually I want you to support each other. Also have fun and enjoy yourselves. Nerves won't make things any easier." He pulled out three keys.

"Kaylie and Kelly you're in room 8" the two girls grinned at each other while Lauren looked put out. "Payson and Rachel, room 5." Rachel looked ecstatic, she idolised Payson, and Payson put her arm around the younger girl's shoulder. "And Emily and Lauren, room 12."

A year ago Emily would have protested but she knew Sasha would have thought about the room placements carefully. They might seem trivial but a roommate could either make your competition experience amazing or completely ruin it. As much as she detested the idea of spending a week with Lauren Tanner, she could see Sasha's reasoning. Kaylie was fragile and she needed Kelly to support her. The national champion had been distant and insecure recently and Kelly was the only person who seemed to be able to make her come out of her shell. Someone needed to take Rachel through nationals as it was her first time and obviously Sasha was not going to make Payson room with Lauren.

"Take an hour to unpack and settle in, after dinner we'll have a team meeting and I'll have one on ones with you too so that you're ready for podium training. You are not to leave the hotel without my permission, eat anything not authorised by me or Mrs Keeler or do anything that will harm your own chances of doing well or those of your teammates. Clear?"

"Yes Sasha."

The other Rock girls went to their rooms. Emily stayed back; she knew Darby would want to talk to her. Her coach placed a hand on each of Emily's shoulders. "How are you feeling?"

Emily smiled nervously "excited, terrified, nauseous, apprehensive, proud, happy and impatient."

Darby laughed "well it's a shame you don't get tested on your vocabulary. I just want to say I'm proud of you. No matter what happens over the next couple of days, you have achieved so much. Now I want you to stay calm. You're going to have a lot of people doubting you and putting you down. You're going to get tired, you're going to get nervous, but you need to stay calm, forget everything but the exercise, and that I am here for you, 100%. These are the days of your life, make the most of them."

Emily's heart leapt to her throat at her coach's words. She and Darby had always had a relationship that was more friendship than coach and athlete and Emily sometimes forgot that Darby was a two time Olympic medallist. A tear ran down her cheek. It meant so much that Darby believed in her so completely.

"Yes coach."

Darby pulled Emily into a tight hug "and you're welcome to stay in my room if Lauren starts bugging you."

"Trust me, I may take you up on that."

Emily walked into her and Lauren's suite. There were two queen sized beds, a plasma screen TV, a mini-bar and a bookcase full of all the classics and a few not so classics that Emily loved. She raised an eyebrow – Miss Tanner had got her Dad to try and buy her way back into Emily's good books. It was a nice gesture but Emily wished that Lauren would learn that earning friendship didn't mean buying it. Lauren was on the phone when Emily walked in, she nodded at the taller girl and Emily went to take a shower.

Emily came back into the bedroom to see Lauren on the bed, glaring at her phone –eyes puffy: she'd obviously been crying. Emily wasn't one for confrontations so she didn't say anything, she just smiled at Lauren

"I'm making a tea, would you like one?"

Lauren scowled "I don't want your pity Kmetko." She snapped, sniffing.

Emily hid a smile behind her hand – Lauren's attitude reminded her of when Payson was first injured. Payson didn't put up with pity then either.

"Who said anything about pity? Chuck me the milk out of the fridge will you?" Being practical was generally the best way to deal with people when they were upset. Well that was Emily's philosophy.

Lauren smiled in spite of herself "fine!" she said all but chucking the milk at Emily. Emily just rolled her eyes and caught it easily and boiled the kettle.

"That was Dad on the phone" Lauren said dully.

"Yeah?"

"I told him that I was just going out there this week to do my best and have fun. I can't be bothered bringing anyone else down and I know I'm not the best and I've accepted that, what is important is that I do the best for me and just compete against myself rather than with others. He didn't take it well."

Emily gritted her teeth. Parents were not perfect, she knew that, but they were meant to love their kids not treat them like trophies.

"What did he say exactly? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"That he didn't invest thousands of dollars in the Rock to have a daughter as a loser and that I was unmotivated, lazy and he was very disappointed in me." Lauren was sobbing, big rasping sobs. It was moments like these that reminded Emily how fragile Lauren was. On the surface she had everything but when it came down to the most important thing, having people who loved her and cared about her, she was sorely lacking.

Emily silently walked over to Lauren and put her arms around her. "Well if it makes any difference, I'm proud of you. Gymnastics is all about pushing yourself as far as you can go. There will always be someone more naturally talented."

Lauren nodded. "I know, I've only just begun to realise that but it still feels like he punched me in the gut."

Emily gave Lauren one last tight hug "screw this, I'm making us hot chocolates." She stood up and opened their cupboard, "aha marshmellows! I won't tell if you don't."

Lauren gave a watery smile "it's a deal."

Kaylie stared at her phone. No missed calls, no texts. Ronnie had called her, Leo had called her, Austin had called her (Sasha had banned him from the girls' floor). Alex had promised he would call her but he hadn't. She bit back tears. Her father had always been her biggest supporter – if it wasn't for him she probably never would have beaten Genghi Cho but now that she wasn't on top anymore he seemed ambivalent. It was the same attitude he'd always had towards Leo, until Leo got a perfect SAT score. She'd always told Leo that he was imagining things when he said that Leo didn't care about him, but now she understood him totally.

Kaylie sighed, if she was Lauren or Payson, or even Emily she'd be able to shake it off. But she wasn't, her family meant so much to her. She looked over to Kelly. The older girl had gone to bed early. She'd been in a mood ever since Sheila had refused to talk to her. But Kaylie knew Kelly would kick arse tomorrow – she was used to Sheila screwing up and she just used her anger to make her performances more intense, more terrifying. Kaylie wasn't like that. Feeling fragile and scared, the national champion got into bed and turned out the light, she had a feeling that tomorrow was going to be one of the hardest days of her life.

XXX

"Welcome to day one of the 2012 National Championships, you're with Tim, Elfi and Al for the most important nationals this quadrennium. The teams are entering the stadium now, so Elfi, who should we look out for today?"

"Well Al as usual the USA is super deep but the most exciting gymnast here today is Rosa Reynolds. She's a first year senior and she seems unstoppable."

Tim butted in "and we've also got Andrea Conway and Haruko Ueda – they're reliable. Neither have particularly high start values but they can both hit where it counts."

Al nodded with pretend interest "and what about our 2011 Worlds team? It was certainly a mixed performance."

"Definitely, both USA qualifiers to the all around, Kelly Parker and Lauren Tanner didn't even finish in the top five. In fact Lauren Tanner seemed to be deliberately trying to sabotage Kelly, her own teammate! Both girls train at the Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Centre which is the USA's most controversial gym. To be honest I can't see Lauren Tanner on this Olympic team, the USA is too deep and she's too inconsistent. Kelly might make the team, just but she's got quite a few new girls to compete with."

"And what about Kelly and Lauren's teammates? The Rock surprised us last year with getting four girls to worlds, and they've brought four athletes to nationals other than Tanner and Parker, how do you rate their chances?"

"Well Kaylie Cruz, defending national champion trains at the Rock but she's looked shaky ever since her win. She was all over the place at podium training, and she's only training a Yurchenko 1 and ½ vault, a big downgrade from her Amanar. I wouldn't expect her to come anywhere near the podium today."

"Payson Keeler is another girl to watch out for, she came back from what we thought was a career ending injury to make the world team! The only problem was that she managed to injure herself again. I would like to see Payson on this team and I just really hope she can make it through a competition without hurting herself, she has lovely lines."

"So does her teammate Emily Kmetko, what happened with her, Tim?"

"Well nobody really knows, this girl was training at the Y in Fresno until she was 15, that's right 15! When Marty Walsh found her and brought her to the Rock, she had raw talent and was inconsistent. She then got arrested and dropped off the radar for about a year. I don't think she's going to get anywhere near the national team but it's a good human interest story."

Margi and Summer were sitting behind the commentators. The two women looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "You know, I almost feel sorry for those commentators. They are going to be proven so wrong." Margi said in her southern accent.

Summer sighed "I hope you're right."

"I know I am, my girl Emily is going to kill it today, just you watch." She hugged Jenna tightly. The little girl had been excited about watching gymnastics, more than any of her other foster children. It was good to see her happy, Jenna had had a rough start in life, Margi was half contemplating enrolling her in gymnastics.

XXX

Payson and Sasha pulled the rest of the team into a group huddle. "This is it ladies, keep calm and believe in yourselves. You have sacrificed much to be here." Sasha said quietly, he looked into Payson's eyes. The blonde girl was focused as usual, her eyes burning with anticipation: she truly was the most mentally tough athlete he'd ever coached. "Captain? Do you have anything to say?"

Payson nodded "a year ago we had a very wise person speak to us" she nodded in Kaylie's direction. "We were about to do the craziest thing in the world, take on a team miles better than us against the rules, we were all struggling but she told us that we should leave our fear and anxiety at the door and take our courage onto the podium." She paused, Payson really wanted this speech to encourage Kaylie, she was definitely feeling the pressure of being number one. "That is what we are going to do today. Yes, life sucks sometimes and yes there are a lot of people eager to see us fail but all that matters is that we are the Rock Rebels, we've got guts and we've got each other and that's what's going to make us stay strong today. After this Rock on we're going to leave all our anxieties and drama here and we are going to rock this tournament because that's what we do!" Payson looked around at each of her teammates, they had all come so far and she was incredibly proud of them, she held out her arm and her gym sisters put their hands on top of hers "Rock on!" they yelled.

The Rock girls were starting on floor, commonly regarded as the worst apparatus to start on because it meant finishing on beam. Emily was certain that Ellen Beals had been behind that piece of politics before she was fired. Emily was doubly sure that Ellen had deliberately suggested she go up first – earlier scores were marked harder. Before James this would have unnerved her but now she thought it was funny. She smiled and saluted the judges. Her music started and she let it take over her. She danced, enjoying every minute of it, her tumbling felt amazing too – her new body shape made it easier to find her centre of gravity. Finally she came out of her tumbling pass, just managing to say in bounds but with a big step, she gracefully lent into her final pose. She grinned, Emily had forgotten how much she adored gymnastics, Darby was right: it would always be a part of her. She saluted the judges and ran to hug her teammates.

The rest of the Rock girls performed their routines, Payson performed the routine of her life, Lauren had the most impressive tumbling of the rotation. Kaylie had an ok score and Kelly and Rachel had decent scores: floor was not a particularly strong event for either of them.

Kaylie sighed. She was never one for shutting everything out like Payson and Kelly could. She looked anxiously at her teammates they were calm and focused. Kaylie couldn't do that, not when she hadn't heard from her Dad, she needed her family around her. Kelly nudged her "we're moving" when Kaylie gave her a blank look Kelly rolled her eyes "to the vault, and you're up first."

"Oh right, duh sorry. I was just uh focusing."

Kelly looked concerned "are you ok?"

"Fine, I'm fine." Kaylie forced a smile and followed her friend.

Kaylie practiced her vault – she used to do two but her body couldn't handle that anymore. She warmed up her 1 and ½ twisting Yurchenko, she landed short and took a big step backwards. She tried to bring herself to care but she couldn't.

After the other girls warmed up, Kaylie got ready to go. Sasha came over and put a firm hand on Kaylie's shoulder. Kaylie turned to look at her coach. He looked at her hard, "tell me what's wrong." He said softly in a voice that left no room for argument.

"Nothing I'm fine."

Sasha glared at her and Kaylie cringed "it's nothing, it's just that Dad's not here."

Sasha resisted the urge to swear and hit something. Couldn't Alex Cruz see how amazing his daughter was? He was going to beat that prick to a pulp the second this day of competition was over. But he had to keep calm.

"Kaylie listen to me" he said gently, "you are an amazing gymnast, I want you to focus on everyone here. We are all rooting for you. Try and shut anything negative out ok?"

Kaylie bit her lip and nodded. Even though she knew she couldn't – she drew energy from everyone else around her. She walked up and saluted the judges. Her handspring onto the vaulting table felt weird she got one and a half twists round but landed deeply and took a huge step forward this time, almost losing her balance. She was almost in tears, her vault was one of the least difficult in the whole competition and she had really needed to stick it.

Payson walked up to her teammate and hugged her "it's ok" she said. She waited till Kaylie had dried her eyes before letting her out of the hug, so that the cameras couldn't see her tears. Then she nodded for Kelly to take over comforting Kaylie while she went to cheer on Rachel.

The rest of vault went well – Payson wasn't looking at the scoreboard. She never did. She was a rock and didn't let anything shake her, not even the uneven bars. Well that's what she wanted everyone to think. The other girls had done well on the apparatus. Emily particularly so and Lauren had stayed on – like many power gymnast Lauren didn't like bars. She beamed and saluted the judges, no one needed to know how nervous she was. Once she'd mounted the bars everything felt better, her body switched into autopilot and before she knew it she'd dismounted. She went to get a drink of water, she was putting her drink bottle away when the stadium erupted in a huge cheer. She looked around "what happened?"

Kelly rolled her eyes "Keeler – you just got a 9.9 execution score for your routine." The shorter girl was grinning, genuinely happy for her captain.

Payson smiled her dream was coming true. She looked at Sasha – his face contained so many emotions, and she'd never seen him look happier. There would be time to celebrate after beam.

Lauren glared at the beam, it used to be her safe place, where no one could touch her but Kaylie had recently overtaken her on the apparatus and it was Lauren's turn to reclaim what was hers. The other girls had done well. Payson was leading the field by 2 points, much to everyone's surprise. Rosa was in second and if they both hit tomorrow no one would be able to touch them. Lauren saluted the judges with her usual half smirk, half grin. She threw everything into her performance, she used her anger at her father to keep her standing Arabian under control, her happiness at finally being accepted at the Rock to guide her dance elements and she threw her dismount for her teammates who had stuck by her. She stuck her Patterson dismount, the first time she'd ever done so.

XXX

Sasha was satisfied, almost. He looked up at the leader board. Payson was in first, as she should be. Rosa and Andrea were second and third, Kelly fourth, Emily fifth, Lauren eighth, Kaylie ninth and Rachel 15th. Emily's fifth place was a huge accomplishment. All his girls had done well, apart from Kaylie, she was capable of doing much better. He'd let Ronnie comfort Kaylie. He walked to Austin's room and banged his fist hard against the door, several times.

A very disgruntled Austin opened it "hey, I was trying to get an early night...oh hey coach" he looked confused.

"Well you've had a change of plan – you're coming on a road trip."

"Um I don't know if you've noticed but we're kind of in the middle of nationals here. Are you okay?" Austin noticed for the first time how livid Sasha looked.

"I'm fine Kaylie, however is not. And you're coming to beat the crap out of Alex Cruz with me!"

"Is he not here?"

Sasha silently shook his head. And Austin growled.

"I'm in."

"Good man"

XXX

Kelly was in awe of Payson Keeler, not that she'd ever admit it. The girl had been composed all day, comforting and motivating the other Rock girls and encouraging girls from other clubs too. Growing up with her mother she'd never really understood what people meant when they called her a class act. But now she did. She decided that she was going to tell her that. She'd never been one for congratulating the opposition but Kelly was turning over a new leaf starting now.

Nervously she knocked on Payson's door. Payson was a self confessed nana and she'd gone up to her room early. There was no answer. She knocked again with the same result. Kelly shrugged. She was probably busy.

"Oh hey teamie." Lauren said, strutting down the hallway. She and Kelly still had a weird relationship. There was only so much time two such huge egos could be around each other.

Kelly grinned "hey Loz." She quipped making the blonde girl scowl. "I just wanted to catch up with Pay but I think she's asleep."

"She shouldn't be – I went to get some new headphones for her because both of ours were broken." Lauren opened the door, paused and whimpered "oh my God."

"What?" Kelly barged past the shorter girl. She came to a halt, Payson was lying on the floor unconscious. She knelt down beside her captain "she's breathing, I think she's passed out but we'd better call an ambulance." She cringed at how perfunctory her words sounded. She expected Lauren to have a snarky comeback but the blonde girl, face ashen just nodded, pulled out her phone and dialled.

A/N Hey y'all sorry for the long wait! And thank you for all of your reviews. And by popular demand Jordan and Wendy won't be appearing, at least not as regulars. So, what did you think? Who do you think will win nationals? Who do you want to win?

Also I'm going to do an outtake with Pay and Sasha either before the next TPP chapter or after, because as you can imagine Sasha isn't very pleased with himself when he finds out about Payson.