Chapter 22: Bombshells
Lauren forced the nail of her middle finger under her thumbnail, hard. She focused on that so she didn't cry, she wasn't going to cry. Not now. She forced a smile when Payson invited the eight other girls onto the mini stage. She wasn't angry at her teammates for making the team. She was surprised: normally when stuff like this happened she was filled with jealousy but looking into their faces all she could see was the years of hard work, the hurdles they'd overcome and, above all, how much they deserved to be going to London. She was exhausted though. The lack of sleep was finally taking its toll, her legs felt like jelly and her vision was a bit blurry. Finally they were allowed down from the stage. The media was swarming in, their cameras giving Lauren a huge headache, the edges of her vision started to go dark and she felt like she was going to fall over when a strong hand gripped each of her shoulders.
"I've got you. Don't worry about the media. The others are blocking their view of you. Lean against me, good girl." Lauren leaned into her coach as she'd done thousands of times at the end of a gruelling practice and she let Sasha half carry her to the edge of the podium, then he picked her up and carried outside he then helped her into a taxi. Steve following them worriedly.
When they reached the hotel Sasha told Lauren to go and freshen up and Sasha looked at Steve, the man looked exhausted.
"I can't believe it's finally over. All we've worked for."
Sasha gripped Steve's shoulder "it's not over, Lauren's got her whole life ahead of her. Look how far she's come. She hugged her teammates genuinely tonight, she didn't try to sabotage any of them. That's worth more than any medal."
Steve looked at him for a long time. Why did the man have to be so freaking noble? He was right of course but it still stung that his only child had come so close to achieving her dream and not making it.
"What's wrong with her Sasha?" He asked quietly "the past few weeks she hasn't been herself. I was surprised she managed to stay on the beam today, my heart was in my mouth her whole routine."
Sasha didn't say anything. He wanted to bring this up with Lauren first.
Steve sensed Sasha's hesitation. "Please tell me." He asked in a sad voice.
Sasha shook his head. "I think I know what's wrong but I don't want to bring this up until I've spoken to Lauren. I've seen it happen in a lot of athletes. But I'm not a doctor, it's just a hunch."
Steve glared at Sasha but for some reason he didn't yell at him. He saw how jaded the younger man seemed, he realised that he cared for his daughter. "Okay"
"Thank you" Sasha said, he was glad to avoid a row with one of the fiercest litigators in the state. Lauren came out of her room, her blonde hair hanging messily around her face, bags under her eyes.
"Can we come in, Lauren?" The blonde nodded wearily. And Sasha and Steve followed her. Lauren walked slowly and sat on her bed, Steve joined her and put his arm around her, Sasha took the chair by the desk, he looked at Lauren seriously. "I want you to answer some questions, and answer them honestly, please."
Lauren nodded. She normally would have rolled her eyes but she was pretty freaked about how crap she felt.
"Good. How long have you had trouble sleeping?"
Lauren paused, thinking about all the sleepless nights she'd had. She'd only started complaining a couple of weeks ago but... "2 months" she said, not meeting her father's eye. She knew he'd feel guilty for not noticing.
Sasha nodded "and have you been feeling achy and tired?"
"You know I have" Lauren whispered. "I also feel like every little thing is so hard and I'm really sensitive I get upset at the smallest things. It's freaking annoying." She said, suddenly tying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.
"Honey, why didn't you tell me this?" Steve asked bewildered. Lauren had a tendency to whine about everything but she for some reason decided she didn't need to tell him that she was really not feeling good.
"I didn't want to bother you." Lauren said automatically and then paused, "and I was scared, I felt like, feel like I'm going crazy or something."
Steve silently put an arm around his daughter and kissed her head softly. "We'll get to the bottom of this Lo."
Normally Sasha would quip that Lauren was crazy but this wasn't the time. He took both of his athlete's hands in his own and looked at her. He had no idea how to say this. He'd had similar conversations twice before and it never got easier. "Lauren I think you might be suffering from depression. Now I know it seems scary but many people have it. And often it's successful people. It's not a big deal, it's totally treatable and I know a doctor who'll be able to help you."
Lauren was dumbfounded. She'd heard about mental illnesses but she thought they just happened to crazy old cat ladies who had no friends. Normally she would have called Sasha an idiot and stormed out but she was so tired that all she had the energy to do was bury her head in her father's shoulder and cry. "I don't want this."
Steve wrapped his arms around Lauren "honey it's okay. This is totally normal. I got depressed when I was about your age."
Lauren looked up in surprise. Her Dad was tough she could never imagine him like this. "When I was a first year law student, I moved cities. It was hard, I didn't know anyone, and I was shy. I was in a dorm with lots of outgoing overachievers who never really accepted me. Which is fine. You don't get on with everyone. But I found it really really tough. I was too scared to ask for help so I didn't make friends: it wasn't till I met your mother that I finally understood that I was sick, just like having a broken arm and that I could get help." Steve had tears in his eyes, he felt so guilty for not realising Lauren's problem earlier.
"Daddy why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want you to worry. You had enough going on. Come on, let's get you to the doctor ok?"
Lauren nodded tentatively and she followed her father out of the hotel room. She paused as she was about to open the door "Sasha, are you ok if we don't tell the other girls yet?"
"Of course, but they're worried about you."
"I know, but I want them to focus on the Olympics without worrying about me."
Sasha's jaw almost dropped. This kid might not have made the Olympic team today but she had grown up almost overnight. Or had he just not noticed how far she'd come. He hugged his athlete "I'm proud of you: I hope you know that. I couldn't be prouder, irrespective of whether you made the team."
Lauren gave a resigned smile "that means a lot Sasha, really." She said, blinking back tears. She wasn't ready to process that this quadrennium was over for her. She didn't want to think about the decisions she'd soon have to make.
XXX
Interviews were crazy for the girls on the team. The media was thrilled to have four girls over eighteen on the team – they could be marketed as attractive young women, and 15 year old Rosa could be used to appeal to young girls. It was perfect. The only problem was that the girls were not cooperating. Kelly rolled her eyes every time a reporter asked her about the all around final at last year's worlds and the fact that Lauren had spooked her. "I have no idea what you're talking about" she would say icily, making Emily and Kaylie cringe. Kaylie quickly changed the subject to her and Austin, which at least appeased the reporters for a while, until they tried to talk to her about her anorexia and then Kaylie just clammed up.
Payson cringed as Kaylie gave yet another awkward 'no comment'. They really needed Sasha here to get them out of this, she guessed he was with Lauren. Payson's stomach sank when she thought of her teammate and friend. She knew it was a crazy dream for all five of them to make it but she'd always thought they would. She took a deep breath and went to stand beside Kaylie, putting an arm around her "Kaylie's been doing really well, we're all very proud of her. I mean look at her killer beam set. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about her standing full." Payson said, adding a pointless laugh. The reporter laughed sycophantically although she was disappointed: she knew she wasn't going to get anything out of Kaylie Cruz with Payson standing over her. Instead she reluctantly started questioning Payson about how her back felt and her decision to only compete one vault. After a while Payson managed to get all the reporters right where she wanted them. It was hard work though. There hadn't been this much drama in a gymnastics team in years and the media loved drama: especially with gymnastics being one of the most popular sports in the Olympic Games.
Finally the questions started slowing down and Payson could sense the interview was about to end. "Anyone else?" Payson asked "or are we free to get our beauty sleep?" The reporters chuckled half heartedly. They were tired too. There was a pause and Payson thought it was over until someone at the back raised their hand "I have question for Emily."
Payson's hand flew to her mouth. The speaker was Ellen Beals.
XXX
The doctor had been lovely. Lauren still felt like a freak but she was starting to understand that this was just a chemical imbalance that could be treated just like a sprain. The doctor had given her sleeping pills and firm instructions to lead a healthy lifestyle. She'd also given her the phone number of a counsellor. Lauren looked at the name and number written on the little card. She'd refused a counsellor after her mother's death but now that card seemed like a lifeline. A stranger who she could talk to without having to worry about being judged, it was just what she needed.
She and Steve walked in companionable silence. It was funny how you could become suddenly close to someone in just a couple of hours. She realised that she hardly knew her father. Well she knew him in a superficial sense: she knew how he took his coffee and what his favourite books were but she had no idea about his life before she was born, why he'd chosen the career he had and how he'd met her mum. "Daddy?"
"Mmm"
"Tell me about Mum, where did you meet her? When did you decide to get married? Where did she grow up?"
Her questions almost brought tears to Steve's eyes – he usually tried to keep those memories repressed because they hurt so much but it broke his heart how little Lauren knew. "Well your mother was one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. I met her when I went to a pub, my Mum, your grandma, was sick and I was upset. I was with a couple of people from my classes but I didn't know them all that well: I was terrible at making friends back then. I still I am I guess. And the boys started to get rowdy and I just felt more lonely. And then your Mum came over to me" Steve's eyes lit up at the memory "she had a smile on her face but she could tell I was upset. She bought me a beer and asked how my day was. I said fine, and she just frowned at me and said 'I can tell it wasn't, come on, spill' so I told her about Gran Tanner being in hospital and she just listened. And then we danced for a bit." Steve's eyes sparkled at the memory.
"Lauren, whatever you think of your mother, whatever the amount of pain she put us through. I want you to know that she was a remarkable woman and that she loved you very much."
Lauren was full on sobbing now. Partly for the fact she never knew that remarkable woman, partly that her Dad had bottled up so much for so long, partly because she never tried to help him through the hard times and finally she cried for not making the team. Steve just held her as she sobbed, huge gasping sobs with tears streaming everywhere. Steve kissed the top of her head. Lauren knew she must look like a loser but she couldn't care less. She and her father had struggled through this screwed up couple of years and people could damn well stare if they wanted to.
XXX
Sasha was on his way back to the stadium to join the rest of the girls when he got a text from MJ 'where the hell are you? Disaster with press. Get here' Sasha swore under his breath. MJ was usually as cool as a cucumber. He parked terribly and sprinted to the interview room, glaring at the security guards. It wasn't as if they didn't know who he was anyway. He burst into the room, he saw Emily looking deathly pale, Kaylie near tears and Payson and Kelly looking like they wanted to hit someone. And then he looked at the sea of reporters and his heart sunk when he saw Ellen Beals. That female had somehow wormed her way into the press room.
"No Emily isn't available to comment I'm afraid" Marcus, one of the NGO said. Sasha breathed a sigh of relief. He found MJ's face and mouthed 'what happened?'
MJ shook her head, she came over to stand beside him "nothing, yet" she whispered in her head "Payson was managing the press beautifully and then Ellen just stood up and asked if she could ask Emily a question, fortunately Marcus stepped in. But people are going to be wondering why all of a sudden Em can't answer questions, so you and Darby had better come up with an excuse quick. Where is she by the way?"
Sasha shrugged "no idea, ok let me deal with this." He marched over to his gymnasts. "I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen but Emily and the other girls can't comment anymore. It's past their designated press time. They have to do some cardio before bed." He lied, not even he made is athletes train directly after a meet. But whatever, the media could think he was a horrible coach, so long as Ellen didn't reveal to the entire world that Emily was a mother right before the Olympics. Although Ellen had already done enough damage. The press was going to be super suspicious about what caused this not so subtle cover up. But that could wait until morning.
After the reporters had been ushered out the girls all stood there. Emily was shaking. "Thank you Sasha" she whispered. "And you too, Pay."
Payson hugged Emily "anytime, hun. I can't believe that cow was allowed in. She must have used a fake ID or something."
Sasha nodded. He didn't like this at all "girls I just want to say how incredibly proud I am of all of you and also how sorry I am that your night ended like this. Go back to the hotel and enjoy yourselves! I'll join you when I can." He hugged each of them tightly, not quite believing that he'd managed to coach four Olympians in one quadrennium it was surreal.
Kaylie, Kelly and Payson all linked arms and went to take a taxi back to the hotel where their families and supporters were waiting. But Emily lingered. "Sasha, she's going to tell. I know it. Even if we don't tell her, she'll just go to the press. I – I don't know if I can handle it." Suddenly she was like the sixteen year old she was when she first came to Rock: unconfident and almost embarrassed by her talent. Sasha gripped her shoulders. "I promise you that I will do all I can to stop that happening. I promise." He said seriously. "And if the truth gets out I am going to be behind you 100% - you have worked too hard for this, Emily. I am not going to let your dream disappear because one bitter, pathetic person couldn't find a hobby."
Emily almost laughed at that. Sasha was forever telling the cattier girls at the Rock to get a hobby. "I trust you Sasha" she said quietly before giving him a quick hug and following her teammates. Trust. That was a big word coming from Emily. There was no way he was going to let Ellen ruin his gymnast's career. Not that she should be embarrassed of having a kid and coming back to gymnastics but the press would destroy her, he thought bitterly.
His phone started to ring "yes?"
"It's Ellen here."
"Ah"
"You don't sound too pleased to hear from me. I'm hurt." Ellen mocked quietly. "You didn't really think I'd let Emily Kmetko get to the Olympics without being thoroughly embarrassed did you? The kid's a headcase, Belov. One bit of negative media attention and she'll be falling off every apparatus faster than her trashy mother goes through zebra striped tights."
"Leopard striped actually." Sasha responded quickly, then bit his tongue when he realised how stupid he sounded. "But you won't get away with this Ellen."
"And how are you going to stop me?"
That, thought Sasha, was an excellent question.
A/N sorry for the long wait but this chapter was incredibly difficult to write. I've been tossing up whether to incorporate this storyline into Lauren's journey for a while. I don't know if it's too serious and gloomy but the idea popped into my head early on and I thought I'd write it in. And Ellen is back. But not for long, don't worry. That woman is going to get what's coming for her. Also who do you want to win at the Olympics? Please review and let me know what you thought I promise the next chapter won't be as sad!