notes/warnings
+ warning for swearing and implied past assault.
+ warning for moderately sexual situations. yeehaw.
Spectator
And sometimes you don't dream at all. Or at least, you don't dream of much. Sometimes you close your eyes and find yourself floating in an empty world, a world of stars and open sky and inky shadows and nothing else.
Sometimes you imagine that there is an angel standing over you, menacing, judgmental, and huge. Usually that angel looks like Jasmine.
Usually you wake, feeling lost and ashamed.
Sometimes, though. Sometimes all you can think about is the locket around the angel's neck, and how much you'd like to take it for yourself.
You don't know what that means, either.
Probably, it just means that you're a terrible person.
"Oh, hey," Ryuk says brightly, crawling out of the window to perch beside her on the roof. "How are things?"
Jas regards him with mild distaste.
"You do not usually seek me out," she comments. "Usually you have to be summoned. Multiple times, in fact. What is it, Ryuk?"
"Eh," he says, and shrugs. "I'm bored, I guess."
"You are always bored. Ergo, that is not a valid reason for the change in your behaviour."
Well, actually, he wasn't bored when he was with Emma. But the stupid queen had to assign him some ridiculous, long-winded job, didn't she?
"More bored than usual," Ryuk tells her. There's no way he's telling Jas about his new partnership with Emma. That's a secret. "I mean, Takada is bo-ring, there's almost never anything good to eat, and even the kid won't talk to me."
"That….creature is not your child," Jas warns him. "Or your sibling. Or your protégé. You would do well to remember that."
"Geeze, you're so full of hate," Ryuk mutters, stretching his wings. "Guess it must suck, having to judge people all day long. Hey, I'm sure Takada would be happy to take over from you."
"Shut up," Jas snaps.
"Charming mood you're in," Ryuk observes. "What's bothering you? Is blondie trying to detective his way out of his own hell again?"
Jas glares at him.
Oooh, lucky guess, Ryuk thinks, triumphantly.
"Maybe you need to tighten your mind control?" he suggests cheerily.
Jas regards him for a long moment.
"I'm…I'm not sure," she says, eventually. "There are so many people, and there is still only one of me. I am worried about…"
Jas shakes her head, suddenly, and glares at him.
"That's enough," she says, sharply.
"Why is there only one of you, anyway?" Ryuk muses. "Is that because there's only one note? You know, some of the other Shinigami say the notebook is what makes you powerful. Without it, you'd just be one of us."
"My note is not of your concern,' Jas replies coldly, apparently wise to his intentions.
But that doesn't matter. The notebook can wait. The queen just said things. In front of him. Like he wasn't even there. Like she wasn't paying attention.
The queen is reaching some sort of maximum capacity. And she's worried.
She's supposed to be infinite. Instead she's distracted. And she's worried.
The queen is growing weaker.
Ryuk grins to himself. Emma will be pleased.
Jas buries her face in her hands.
She feels like she is stretched too thin, torn between too many people. Too many geniuses. And too many bad souls, evil souls, demanding to be tormented and judged.
She said too much. And in front of Ryuk, of all death gods. Sometimes she struggles just to remain a single, coherent entity. She can't stop second guessing herself. She has to pour all of her focus into L, and the things around him. So much is at stake, right now. And there is so much still to come. And she has frightened him, now, by showing him the extent of hell. He knows too much, perhaps.
But he must know. He must. He cannot fail her. He must know because he must win. She knew that all along.
Still. She is risking too much. The risk is almost ridiculous. What will she be, if an innocent human lifespan must be cut short so that another might be sufficiently judged? What will separate her from the other Shinigami, then?
This note. Always, this note.
And it will always be her note. She will always have power. She must try to use it well.
And…a chance must never be interfered with. That would be the worst thing in the world.
And yet…even with Takada's danger-riddled hell, even with a thousand million writhing human souls demanding her attention, her eyes are always drawn back to Keehl.
So pretty. So alone. So weak.
She'd like to take him for herself. But there are rules. The rules must be followed. She made her own rules, and she sticks to them.
But if…
Keehl makes her react. He makes her want to do crazy things.
Everything she does is measured and precise. It must be. If she reacts excessively, if she thinks too hard, if she lashes out - becomes panicked - for even a moment…
She isn't sure what will happen. But she feels exhausted and worn out. And she has influence on so many lives.
Powerful influence. Shinigami can be contracted, and enlisted. But humans can only be controlled. One stray thought in the mind of the queen, and a thousand humans might momentarily go mad. Might do terrible things, unpredictable things, things they might never ordinarily do.
She's not even sure of the extent of it. This has never happened before. She's never felt so…exceeded, before.
Keehl makes her want to have stray thoughts all the time.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Time to think this through.
There actually isn't anything wrong with exploring new strategies to defeat and break L, and there's certainly nothing wrong with visually fantasizing about such tactics. Being human, and very lonely, L is likely to have some sexual weaknesses.
Therefore, being aware that he is at least a slightly sexual being is…is nothing but good planning.
Not that such planning will be needed. L has his own future all sewn up. Solve case, use death note, die.
L deserves to die.
Kiyomi Takada didn't deserve to die.
Everything is fine.
Everything is going…
Everything.
"So, let's talk about something new," Rae suggests, with malevolent cheer.
"All right," L obliges. "Let's talk about round chocolates that are dipped in sprinkles. We have not discussed those yet, but I think I would like obtain some when this case is over."
"Let's talk about how you could use the death note to protect Naomi," Rae counters.
L frowns at the dashboard.
"We have had this conversation before, Shinigami," he says dolefully. "I will not use the note."
"Don't you remember what I told you? This is a conditional death note. With no time limit. All you need to do is write that Kiyomi Takada will die if she attempts to kill Naomi."
L chews delicately on his thumbnail.
"I would question whether this is the scenario in which you anticipated I would use the note, but I feel that would be an insult to your intelligence," he murmurs.
"Oh no," Rae assures him. "You'll know when you reach that point. You'll realise that you don't have any option other than to use the note."
"It's an interesting thought, though," L muses. "Suppose that, before the last year is finished, I pen a conditional death. And then the conditions for that death are never met. Or the conditions are not met before the end of our time together. Would you still ascend the throne?"
What if I write 'only dies if it will not enable Rae to be king'? Or what if the conditions are absolutely laughable, like 'will die only if succeeds in drinking the Pacific Ocean'? Then what? What does it mean for you?
"Consider it your own personal clairvoyant," Rae tells him brightly. "If that person will eventually die because of your entry into the death note, then I will become king at the end of this year."
L tilts his head.
"I can use the note to see the future?" he whispers. "Do you honestly think that will tempt me sufficiently?"
Or do you just believe that I will become convinced that you are a human in hell, and feel obligated to write down a name in order to redeem you?
Rae grins at him with a strange mixture of glee and intense dislike.
"And furthermore," L continues, "this means that either the king or the queen can see the future. After all, someone must verify whether my written conditions will result in death."
And I suspect it is probably the queen.
Who is possibly the hell-god.
Which is terrifying. How can I possibly beat an enemy that already knows my ultimate fate?
"There is so much about the world that you don't know, L," Rae tells him triumphantly.
L nods vaguely. His mind is whirling around inside his head, trying to decipher this new information.
No, it doesn't need to mean that, he realizes with a jolt. The queen does not have to be able to see the future.
All she needs is to convince you that she can see the future.
And if you are one of her charges, then that…
That would be easy.
"I've been thinking," Naomi says, falling into step beside Takada. "I've been thinking about…about everything."
"I expected you to," Takada says, a little warily. "But now is the time for tea, not heavy discussion."
"Kira really did kill you, didn't he?" Naomi says abruptly.
Takada stops dead. She looks like she might burst into tears.
"Why," she manages. "Why would you…say that?"
"Because you never would have mentioned it, otherwise," Naomi replies. "And…and why would you look twice at someone like me, unless Kira had done something really bad to you?"
"Don't," Takada snaps. "Don't compare yourself with him."
You've been evaluating the two of us, Naomi realises. Pros and cons. Me versus Light. Shit. You have, haven't you?
You really are having doubts.
She doesn't have a firm plan, right now. She's testing out the waters. She needs to know just how uncertain Takada has become.
I can't save you without your consent. And we've got a little over twenty-four hours to resolve this, before you start killing people left, right, and center.
So help me, Kiyomi Takada. This had better work. Something had better work.
"I've also been thinking," Naomi continues, "that it doesn't really matter, does it?"
Takada gapes at her.
"What? Why doesn't it matter?"
"It matters that you were hurt," Naomi says soberly. "It matters what he did. But it…it doesn't matter whether or not we believe in him. The whole point of us, the whole point of following Kira, it was to make the world a better place, wasn't it? A safe world, where good people can lead happy lives."
Kiyomi tilts her head, considering.
"Yes," she says, finally. "Yes, of course."
"Well, we can still do that," Naomi replies. "Whether we save Kira or not, we can save the world. You are Kira, as far as I'm concerned. A good Kira. And you have an incredible army here. We can do anything we want. At any time we want. Defeating Big Jason is just the beginning."
Takada smiles at her, sadly.
"You are a tremendously empowering woman, Naomi," she replies quietly. "But I am no longer sure that I share your vision. Besides, we are opposed by the police on all fronts. We might be able to defeat a criminal like J… like Jason, but we cannot change the world."
Naomi clears her throat loudly, and Takada frowns at her.
"What?"
"Have you forgotten something?" Naomi asks, with a cocky smile. "I'm a police officer. We can win over the police. With my history and your brains, it wouldn't take much. Maybe we could use Gree's good looks, too."
Takada pokes her in the ribs.
"Are you implying something, Penber?"
Naomi laughs.
"I quite like it when you call me Penber," she announces, flopping onto Takada's enormous, overstuffed sofa.
Takada sits meticulously down beside her and sighs.
"Even with our considerable talents, Naomi, I very much doubt that we'd be capable of bringing about Kira's perfect world. The man who was Kira was special."
"Special? He killed you. And you weren't a criminal. You loved him, and defended him, and he killed you. If he were anyone else, I'd call him evil."
"I won't hear you say a word against him," Takada says sharply. "Even if you do follow only me, you will show some respect to the man I love."
You are completely confused, aren't you?
"Of course, my Lady," Naomi replies, chewing on her lower lip. "I…I don't really understand, but I'll do as you ask."
Naomi feels a momentary rush of ice-cold fear.
I don't understand.
That is a loaded statement, now. If she says that three times in a row, the most amazing man she knows will come here and let himself be destroyed.
She must be careful. She has to be so careful. It isn't enough, to just save Takada. She has to save Takada, and L, and Mail, and Raye, and everyone else, as well.
"You ought to be jealous," Takada continues.
"I am not jealous," Naomi replies. "I love you. He killed you. Jealousy does not factor in to my feelings regarding either him or you. Feelings which you just ordered me not to voice, I might add."
"Fine," Takada says, a little bitterly. "My point was this. The man who was Kira is special. There isn't anyone else like him."
"I see," Naomi replies, in a perfectly normal voice.
And then Takada makes tea and they drink tea and banter and hold hands and Naomi doesn't give any indication at all that she's just had the most spectacular, most horrifying idea of her life.
There is someone like Light. Someone like Light, only good. Someone like Light, who doesn't murder people and call it justice, who doesn't betray those closest to him, who cares for people and tries to save the world.
And succeeds more often than probable.
Someone who Takada's never met. Someone Naomi knows well. Someone Takada is probably trying to kill right now.
Takada wants a hero? Naomi can show her a hero.
There would be no way to recommend L to Takada without risking the investigation, though. She can't do it. She'd have to be really sure of Takada's motives, and right now even Takada isn't sure of Takada's motives.
But god, if anyone could save her, L could.
It's just a thought. Naomi files it away, just in case an opportunity presents itself.
Just in case.
Naomi's talking rubbish again.
She's talking rubbish, talking rubbish. Even Takada isn't listening to her. She just runs her mouth until she runs out of words. She probably loves the sound of her own voice.
Shut up shut up shut up.
"Hey. Penber."
It's gotten to the point now where Naomi automatically assumes that anyone who approaches her is going to be Takada, and she's kind of startled to find Gree there, instead.
"Er…yes?"
As far as she knows, Gree hates her. Therefore, she must be after something.
"What do you know of hell?"
Naomi raises her eyebrows.
"That's an unusual and vaguely threatening question," she replies, carefully. "Are you implying something?"
"Not at all," Gree tells her, with an unpleasant, shark-like grin. "Just making conversation. You…intrigue a lot of people here."
"Obviously not you, since this is the first time you've bothered to speak to me," Naomi says, breezily.
Takada isn't here, but she might still be watching them. Naomi cannot afford to seem too rude or insincere. She needs to be a trustworthy, genuine person, after all.
Of course, she could always blame her bad mood on her illness. Useful thing that it is.
"It's true; I generally avoid small-talk," Gree replies, briskly. "I have more important things to focus on, as do we all. I ask now because it is clear that you have come to the attention of Kimiko."
Naomi has seen Grianna's face many times before, of course. She was a famous supermodel even before she died. And she was always stunningly beautiful. But here and now, face-to-face, without makeup or spotlight, her expressions have an almost frightening quality to them. Like she might snap and kill someone at any moment.
"We all have, in our own ways," Naomi replies carefully. There is no way that Gree can possibly know the nature of her relationship with Takada. "Anyway, why do you ask of hell? Do you think Kira controls hell? That would be just like him, stowing away evil, separating the good from the bad."
Grianna shoots her a look of pure, utter venom, and then immediately smiles sweetly.
"I think the concept of hell is a terrible one," she says firmly. "I am positive that it has nothing to do with our Lord. No good person would condone the eternal torment of fellow humans."
"I agree, actually," Naomi says, truthfully, thinking of Takada.
All right. We do have something in common.
"Yes, I thought you might," Gree tells her.
And that…that doesn't make any sense. Given what Naomi just said about Kira making the world a better place through hell.
So…what? Is Grianna actually able to tell when she's lying? Does she suspect her of not actually being a supporter of Kira?
No. That's ridiculous. If she did, she would have voiced her fears immediately. And Takada, knowing that, could never have trusted Naomi.
So the more likely answer is this: Gree is just crazy.
"Everyone in hell has loved ones who miss them," Gree says sagely. "Therefore, hell automatically punishes innocent people. A good deity like Kira would never do something like that."
You say it so…blandly, Naomi notes. Do you even support Kira at all? Why are you here, if not for Kira? What are you looking for?
"The movements of Grianna Jones have been somewhat interesting," Rae comments, from above her. "Seems that for the past five years or so, she's drifted from one shady organization to the other. She's been linked to several drug rings, a number of corrupt businesses, a mafia-like gang, and several criminally-oriented families. Still, they've never managed to convict her of anything, but it's quite a fascinating read."
Huh. I wonder if that's just what happens once all the fame goes to your head. You start thinking that you're untouchable, and seeking danger just for the thrills.
"And there is no doubting that Kira is a benevolent god," Naomi ventures. "I'm sure everything will be fine in the end, as long as we work hard."
Grianna snorts.
"And how much hardship have you encountered in your life, Penber? No doubt you know my story by now. Have you ever experienced anything to compare with that?"
Naomi rummages through her memory, trying to recall which particular background story applied to Grianna Jones.
"It was your first husband, wasn't it?" she says thoughtfully. "He turned your daughter against you, and then killed you."
Grianna lets out a hysterical little laugh.
"You make it sound so nice," she says, tremulously. "So clinical and calm. She hated me. She didn't even know me, and she hated me! And he wouldn't even let me visit her."
"Didn't you have partial custody?" Naomi asks politely. This line of conversation is neither useful nor relevant the investigation, but perhaps Grianna's emotions will get the better of her and she'll reveal something important.
"You ever tried fighting a custody battle with a criminal? Because it's damn hard to get them to appear in court."
"You married a criminal?" Naomi asks, although frankly, she's not really surprised.
"Marvin Kenwood was a criminal and a coward," Gree says bitterly. "What other sort of man sets out to kill three and only manages to kill two? He was…he was the worst sort of coward."
Kenwood? That sounds familiar.
Then again, most criminals sound familiar. After all, she's spent two lifetimes putting them behind bars. She's probably heard of most of them, by now.
"Only two?" she echoes, instead. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Oi, girls," Leah says, sticking her head around the corner. "No time for gossip. We've almost bypassed the security on the Mary Cleese file. Naomi, I need your help with codes. Gree, Kimiko wants you back on surveillance."
"Oh," Naomi says. "Yes. Of course."
"Tell her I'm on my way," Gree says coolly, and struts off without preamble. Naomi watches her for a second, slowly shaking her head.
You don't make any sense, Jones, she thinks.
And then Leah's words hit home.
Oh. Security. They've finally gotten through the security.
Everything is falling into place. Tomorrow is day fifteen. The last day. Whatever happens, it will have to be big. Because she needs a confession out of Takada, one way or another.
Failure is not an option.
Marvin Kenwood. Grianna Jones.
"Wedy's mother," L says softly, staring at his video feed. "Yes, I can…I can see that. Family resemblance."
He's talking to the empty air. Rae isn't here.
He's running out of sweets. He has been consuming excessive quantities of sugar, in a desperate attempt to deduce some sort of logical approach with which to unseat the hell-god.
If Takada does not confess, it will not be Naomi's fault. She has played her part perfectly, and he can expect nothing more from her.
He will be happy, to see her and Raye go off on their own. That is the great reward of his job, after all. Happy endings.
Other people's happy endings. He cannot end. He must go on forever, case after case. How could he ever stop fighting evil and saving lives? He'd be bored, for a start. And alone. And probably poor.
And what will he do, if Takada does not confess? If he goes to Roper's house and sacrifices himself, is that better or worse than waiting to be killed by Light? Would it be playing right into Light's hands, or would Light be outraged that he had been deprived of the chance to humiliate and break L?
Again.
It wouldn't do to just give up, anyway. Even if he is left with no other options, he ought to at least raid Takada's headquarters. If he cannot win with solid evidence, perhaps he can at least either seize the death note or kill Takada.
Of course, if Takada is truly in hell, then she should be impossible to kill. According to Rem, those in hell do not die unless they have been redeemed. But if Takada is redeemed, would that mean that the hell-god would show himself? Or herself?
This isn't fair. All of the resources are on Kira's side, once more. All L has is a Shinigami that hates him, a death note he cannot use, and a team that would be better off without him. He has been deprived of Rem's knowledge, and Matsuda's emotional stability, and Wedy's resourcefulness.
And god, he finally understands Marvin's anger, and Marvin's grief. He finally understands the man who tied him to a building wall and left him to be blown to pieces. Because Wedy was important, and it pains L that he's learned so much about her since she died. She ought to be here, sipping expensive coffee and demanding a pay rise.
And while he's wishing, he might as well wish for Grace, as well.
But what of Wedy's mother? What of Grianna Jones? Her movements make almost no sense at all. L cannot predict her. It seems possible that she simply seeks out crime and …what? Joins in? No, not even that. Judging by what little information L has gleaned about her past, she just seems to…watch. And then move on. So while it's possible she really is a Kira-fanatic, it's also possible that Takada is just the next big attraction in Grianna's strange crime-spectator hobby.
Then, she should be considered as neutral, for completeness' sake. She might take either side, in a pinch.
Takada must admit that she is killing criminals. Rae has already found the location of the death note, but retrieving it alone will not allow them to apprehend her. She must confess, one way or the other.
Given how much she is opening up to Naomi, they have a good chance.
At least…seventy-one percent.
Jas tugs absently at her locket. She can feel Mello staring at the sky in his world, trying to unravel it.
She could look at him all day. All eternity. And still not be bored.
Damn you, boy, she thinks. Damn you for causing so much trouble.
Damn you for being beautiful.
Damn you for landing yourself in hell.
Damn you for belonging to someone else.
But Mail doesn't know, does he? He might never know. Mello is hers, right now. She ought to be happy with that.
Ought to be.
Sometimes, you want to find Matt and strip all his clothes from him.
Well, really, you want to do that ALL the time.
But sometimes you want to do it to check for bullet holes. To convince yourself he's still whole and uninjured and alive.
And that doesn't even make any sense.
There is no preamble, this time. Takada follows Naomi to her room without excuse or shame. She's not entirely sure what she wants, or how far she is prepared to go, but she wants to be with Naomi. She craves the company of the one person she trusts.
Sleeping here is dangerous. There is no sheaf of death note tucked conveniently under the pillow. Takada has nothing but her watch.
If anyone tried to break in, she'd kill them without question. No one threatens her. No one threatens Naomi.
If Takada beds her, is that going too far? Would Light ever forgive her?
Would Light ever know?
Naomi closes the door, and regards her with visible uncertainty. She's lithe and boyish, compared to Takada. She has a pretty face, but small breasts, no hips, and a subtle-but-present stomach. In a beauty contest, Takada would win, hands down.
She's not attracted to Naomi's body, anyway. She's attracted to the idea of, oh god, of actually being with someone who protects her. Of being wrapped up in something that actually makes her feel safe. Of taking something for herself, finally for herself, of…
Oh no.
Because it is exciting, the concept of defying Light. Like breathing clean air after living her entire life inside a smoke-filled sauna. The idea of freedom, of casting him aside like so many chains, of ceasing this battle after all this time, disregarding L, and just living.
And…and it is childish, isn't it, to choose a fulfilling life over saving the world.
Because…she believes Light, doesn't she? He killed her, of course, but he was right. Good. Morally perfect. Everything she believed in. Believes in. Believed in.
That's right. Just for today, the answer can be 'maybe'. Just for today, she can entertain the notion of being free. That she might never be a goddess, might never save the world. That she might take a normal life, and settle down, and be happy.
Light and Naomi swirl around and around inside her head. She has to choose one.
She's not. She's not sure Light was right. But if he wasn't, then she never had a chance to be great.
To accept that Light was wrong, she must accept that her life was wasted.
Is Naomi compensation enough?
"I ought to warn you," Naomi says softly, "that I feel mostly terrible right now."
Takada watches her, carefully.
"Is it unbearable?" she asks calmly. "Do you need treatment? Do you need rest? Are you about to be sick?"
"No, no, not yet, and probably not in the next five minutes," Naomi replies, with a tired little smile that Takada wants to take for herself. "You look a little sick yourself."
Naomi. Light. Naomi.
Must have. Cannot have. Must believe.
Not sure.
Not sure.
Light.
Takada reaches out, lightning-fast, and fists one hand inside Naomi's crisp, linen collar.
"Help me," she pleads. "I can't stop thinking. My head. I can't. I…"
Naomi closes in on her, both hands coming up to frame Takada's face, pressing her against the wall, and Takada feels better already.
In her mind, Light's face dims, just a little.
"What do you want?" Naomi asks, her voice earnest and genuine. "Do you want me to be entertaining? Do you want to talk about something else? Do you want…do you want me?"
There's something tremendously inviting about the dubious, kittenish way she offers. Takada pushes her away, just a little, and smiles.
"I'm not sure," she says, with a sudden rush confidence. "But whatever way this works out, you don't sleep in your work shirt, do you?"
Naomi flushes. She must have some inkling of what is to come.
"N-no. No, I don't."
Takada has no idea what the hell she's doing, but she's pretty sure it's going to be good.
"Then," she orders, holding out one hand, "take it off. Give it to me."
Naomi tugs off her shirt without elegance or grace, and hands it over. It's not a cold night, and her room is well-heated, but she feels exposed and awkward all the same.
I love you, Raye, she thinks wistfully. He's probably having a meltdown right now.
She hopes he doesn't snap, and reveal anything to Mail.
Takada takes the shirt and tucks it disinterestedly into her belt, where it hangs like a misshapen scarf.
"It smells bad," Naomi warns, self-consciously adjusting the straps of her bra. "This illness makes me sweat a lot, I'm afraid."
Naomi is pretty sure Takada's not actually attracted to women, because she seems to be sufficiently satisfied once Naomi is shirtless. She certainly doesn't seem to be particularly aroused.
But she does seem more…more alive. Like actually dominating someone is something she's been wanting to do for a long time.
"Well, I'm leaving before the boring stuff starts," Rae informs her, floating over to the far wall. "Don't forget the tap on your foot, Penber."
And, well. An absence of giant critical skeleton should make this slightly easier, in theory.
"You can go about your business, Naomi," Takada says warmly. "I haven't asked anything else of you, yet."
"Oh," Naomi replies. "Er. Okay. I ought to brush my teeth, in that case. Make yourself comfortable, of course."
"Leave the door open," Takada tells her, her eyes fixed on Naomi's right hip.
Naomi obeys, and wonders just how far this is going to go.
Naomi holds her toothbrush with shaking fingers, and tries to concentrate on the task at hand.
The thing is.
The thing is, if Raye were the sort of man inclined towards an open relationship, Naomi would never have married him. And if he had ever indicated that he wanted the two of them to sleep with a third person – just once – to fulfill a fantasy of his, she would decline.
But for L, she'd sleep with anyone. All he'd have to do is ask.
It's not because she loves him more.
It's just because she loves him differently. And because his reasons are never selfish. Any request that comes out of L's mouth has an obvious ulterior motive; saving the world.
So…she'll sleep with Takada, if she has to.
She's inexperienced, but Takada will be expecting that.
And god, if this saves Takada from Light, if this gives Takada her life back, if this saves Takada from hell, then it will be worth any sacrifice Naomi might have to make.
She rinses her mouth and goes back to the bed.
"Now what, my Lady?" she asks tremulously.
Takada is perched on the edge of her mattress, halfway down the bed. Her posture is prim; neck extended, hands folded in her lap, legs crossed daintily.
She smiles and indicates a spot beside her.
"Sit," she instructs. "How are you feeling now?"
"Apprehensive?" Naomi replies, sitting dutifully.
Takada laughs, and the sound is bright and loud. Naomi wonders if all of her other laughs so far have been fake.
Probably. Light was her role model, after all.
You should have met L, first. He could have saved you. And you would have had your opportunity to save the world. To truly save the world, not just divide it over some arbitrary definition of right and wrong.
"I was referring to your health," Takada says breezily. "You are shaking. Are you going to faint?"
Naomi shakes her head.
"Not planning on it," she manages.
Takada brushes one hand against her waist. Naomi feels electric and a little stupid.
She really wishes she were with Raye right now.
"Goosebumps," Takada notes. "Are you genuinely scared?"
"Are you?" Naomi responds, curiously.
"Of course not. But I still have all my clothes on," Takada informs her, insufferably smug. "Trousers, please."
Naomi rolls her eyes and pushes herself back into a standing position
"You're so romantic," she replies, tugging at her belt buckle.
And apparently, Takada has a thing for sarcasm, because she's suddenly on her feet, too, and then Naomi finds herself bodily thrown back onto the bed.
"I'll shut that damn mouth for you," Takada hisses, and then she's all over Naomi; weight on Naomi's chest, manicured nails against Naomi's ribs, fingers in Naomi's hair.
Mouth hot against Naomi's mouth.
And Naomi….Naomi feels okay.
tbc