Chapter 25: Mothers, daughters and sisters
Sasha glared at his team, lined up in height order standing 'to attention' this was the most special team he'd ever coach and for the most part he liked coaching in the States more than Romania but sometimes he missed the iron focus that was common among the Romanian girls. For them gymnastics didn't just mean being able to amazing tricks and pushing personal limits, it meant, for many of them, pulling themselves and their families out of poverty. Consequently he hardly ever had to worry about drama or lack of concentration. Today's light training before team finals had been a disaster. Payson had been steady. Kaylie had been steady, but Rosa was acting as though she was terrified of him, Kaylie was jittery and Emily was having self confidence issues. He took a deep breath. He wasn't going to yell.
"Today was not your best. You know this. Team finals are tomorrow. I have done everything I can. The rest is up to you. Tomorrow you have the chance to prove that you are the best team in the world. If you do what you did yesterday you will succeed in that goal. If you let a flicker of a doubt enter your minds, you will fail. The outcome is yours to determine. I will see you tomorrow at 10am." He turned at walked off.
Payson watched Sasha go, her heart beating faintly, partly from nerves but 90% because Sasha looked hot when he was mad. Then she saw that her team was looking at her for guidance. She almost rolled her eyes. They were the best team in the world, but they were also the most headcasey. She put her arms around Emily and Rosa and the others all followed suit until they were in their familiar huddle. Payson loved how this felt like family, she couldn't explain how or why but she was closer to these girls than almost anyone else in the world.
"Kelly, you rocked it today. You are one of the best all around gymnasts in the world and I can't wait to see your vault and beam tomorrow. Your vault terrifies me, it's that good." Kelly winked at Pay and poked her tongue out. Payson returned the gesture.
"Kaylie: I don't know what happened at practice today but you're brave and talented and we're all here supporting you. Austin and your parents will be in the stand. Just do what you do every day in the gym. Emily, remember how much you love gymnastics. Just think about how you feel when you do your bar routine and floor routine. It really shows when you perform." Emily smiled and nodded. She loved how Payson could calm them down.
Finally Payson addressed the youngest member of the team, "Rosa, you qualified fifth to the all around, you won Olympic Trials, and you have the highest level of difficulty on beam in the world. And you're one of the youngest Olympians from any country. You have no reason to be nervous. Go out tomorrow and show everyone why you're here." Payson hugged her teammates and went back to her hotel room; she needed to be alone to focus on tomorrow.
XXX
Emily and Darby sat on the couch in Margi's motel. Emily was braiding Darby's hair and Darby was drinking a cup of Earl Grey. She was adamant to get into English culture, but she was struggling to like tea, coffee was definitely more her thing. "I've missed you." Emily told Darby "I hardly see you with Sasha and Lauren coaching us. Were you annoyed at not being assistant coach?"
"Not really, it would have been unfair for you to have two people who personally coached you and it's nice that Lauren gets to be on the floor with you when you compete."
Emily grinned "that was one of Sasha's more brilliant ideas." She got up to respond to the knock on the door. She smiled when Larissa almost bowled her over, and she gave Jenna a quick hug too. The quieter girl gave her a rare smile. She saved her biggest hug of all for Margi.
"How's my favourite Olympian? Child you almost made me lose my voice yesterday, I was screaming so much" said the older woman proudly as she wrapped Emily in a bear hug.
Emily shrugged "you'd be screaming whether or not I was doing well" she quipped.
Margi laughed. She was so pleased at how confident Emily had become over the past couple of years. "Tea girls?"
"Please" Larissa said, she was fond of tea. It made her feel so grown up.
Jenna poked her tongue out a Margi "yuck!" she exclaimed. For once seeming like a normal girl. Darby smiled at that. She was tortured seeing her daughter everyday and not being able to take an active role in her life. "I'm with Jenna; we'll have juice if you're offering." She smiled at Jenna but she looked away shyly. Darby sighed. She didn't know how much longer she could keep this up. She had to tell Jenna soon or she was going to explode.
XXX
Payson was resting (as usual), Emily was with Margi, Kaylie and Lauren were watching some insipid girly movie and Kelly was bored. She put down her book, pulled out her headphones and got into some running shorts. Technically they weren't allowed to leave the village unless Sasha let them but she highly doubted that Sasha would reprimand her for going for a walk. Actually he probably would but there was no way in hell she was going to sit in her room thinking about how she was the only person who didn't have anyone in London to meet up with who cared about her. She was at the freaking Olympics and she wasn't going to spend it wallowing in self pity, she was going to find some hot swimmers to look at. She shoved her hair into a messy ponytail and walked down the hall. She walked past Kaylie's room and heard giggling. Kelly rolled her eyes. She loved Kaylie and Lauren to bits but sometimes she felt a lot more than one year older than them. In the next room she heard something quieter, something beautiful. She paused for a moment and listened. It was the Phantom of the Opera's Music of the Night. Someone was playing it on the clarinet. With a start she realised this must be Rosa's room. She felt guilty that she hadn't even been in the room until now. She knocked softly; half hoping that Rosa wouldn't hear her so that the music wouldn't stop.
Rosa opened the door shyly. When she saw it was Kelly she looked frightened. Kelly resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She hated when people were scared of her. She had a hard exterior, sure but she was just like everyone else.
"Hey Rosa, can I come in?" She asked softly.
Rosa nodded and opened the door wider. She made a beeline for her clarinet that she'd left lying on her bed.
Kelly smiled "don't hide it! I never knew you played clarinet, that's freaking awesome. I wish I was musical."
Rosa's eyes widened "really? I thought the rest of you would think it stupid."
Kelly's heart melted. She had never stopped to consider how hard it must be for Rosa. She was with four girls, all significantly older than her, all who trained at the same gym and all of whom were coached by the head coach of her team. She realised now why Payson had been quick to take the younger girl under her wing but Payson was pretty intimidating. She was gorgeous, nice and the best gymnast in the world probably, despite the result of trials. Maybe she needed someone less perfect, someone like Kelly. "No way, if you've got a talent, show it off. How long have you been playing?"
"Five years" a smile crept onto the fifteen year old's face "my Mum made me take it up when I broke my ankle and was out for almost a year. It's what I do when I want to relax."
Kelly felt like slapping herself. There was so much she didn't know about her teammate. "It sounded amazing. I'm no musician but it sounded like a professional was playing it or something."
Rosa smiled shyly "you think?"
"I think"
Rosa grinned, making her look even younger than she was. Then a frown passed across her face "hey Kelly, I'm sorry."
Now Kelly was confused. "What for kid?" she regretted saying 'kid' as soon as the word was out of her mouth. She'd been the youngest member of the World's team in 2009 and it had been a pain being patronised all the time.
"Taking your spot in the all around. I sucked in qualifying. I didn't qualify to any event finals and the only reason I made the all around is because there were only two Americans doing all four apparatus." She sounded like she hated herself.
Kelly took a deep breath. "Rosa, I'm going to be honest, not making the all around final was one of the hardest things I have ever had to give up. All of us dream of being the all around Olympic Champion. It's what keeps us going when we're exhausted and dead on our feet. But don't you dare apologise for making the final. You deserved it. Sure you were wobbly yesterday but you earned your place. You were the fourth best in the world in qualifying and the last time I checked the top 24 all arounders qualify."
"But you would have qualified if you'd done floor."
"We don't know that, I might have fallen."
"Please! You never fall."
Kelly rolled her eyes. Where did her teammates get all this guilt from? It drove her insane! She was old school, if you won something you were happy, none of this crap about feeling sorry for your teammates. "Do you want to know why I didn't let Sasha make me go on floor?"
Rosa was mad now "obviously because you felt sorry for me, you didn't want poor little Rosa who somehow accidentally won trials to not be in any individual finals."
Kelly felt like shaking the younger girl. "Nope!"
"Really? Why then, and don't patronise me!"
"Because you're the better gymnast, you deserve to be in the all around more than me. And you earned your win at trials."
"No I'm not; you're a two time all around world champion. I just... I don't know... got the judges in a good mood or something."
Kelly sighed. She felt like she was talking to Emily. What was it about people lacking self esteem? She put her arm around Rosa "your degree of difficulty on beam is the highest in the world, and the only reason why you didn't make event finals is because our team's so strong. If you'd been competing for any other team you'd probably be in all four. And you can easily win silver if you hit in the all around, you might even challenge Pay if she's having an off day."
"Which she won't"
"You don't know that, and the best I can do is challenge for the bronze. I'm not strong enough on floor. Let's be honest I can't dance to save myself and my forward tumbling isn't anything to write home about."
Rosa had stopped listening "you think I can win silver?"
"It's yours to lose Rosa."
Rosa grinned and immediately sat up straighter. That made Kelly feel amazing. So that was why Payson was so encouraging. It made her a better person, too. She gave Rosa a brief hug. "I'll leave you to your clarinet playing. I expect to hear great things from you on it."
Rosa smiled "if I ever make it, you'll get a free ticket to my first concert."
"I should hope so!" Kelly stood up to leave.
"And Kelly?"
"Mmm?"
"Thanks for not babying me."
"You're welcome." Kelly pulled the door closed. Sometimes, you could make friends in the strangest places, she mused to herself. She pulled her phone out from her pocket and stared at it. What had happened to her mother to make her so bitter? Had there been a time when they were a normal family? Before all the gymnastics had taken over their lives. For the first time in months Kelly felt ready to contact her mother.
Hi Mum
Hope you're well. I'm chilling with the girls in the village. About to read some Great Expectations. I was just remembering how you used to read it to me when I was sick: it was my favourite story. I guess I just wanted to say thanks. It must have been hard having to do that after waiting tables all day. I hope you're well. I love you Mum
K
Kelly sent the text before she had time to get angry or overthink it. It wouldn't cure cancer or bring about world peace or anything but maybe it would be the olive branch that Sheila needed. She went back to her room and began to read one of her favourite books of all time and cherish the memory of her curled up in her mother's arm as the familiar words were read to her.
XXX
Darby glared at her plate. Why did she have to know about Jenna? Ever since she'd found out it was like she was in a trap. She couldn't go two minutes without thinking about her daughter. It hurt even more that she was so quiet and different to her. Then she felt guilty about thinking about Jenna when she should be worrying about Emily. She sighed.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Margi asked across the table "whatever's bothering you, you shouldn't take it out on the poor carrots."
Darby put down her fork deliberately slowly. Normally she would have laughed at that comment but the best she could muster was a forced smile. For some reason she was jealous of Margi. It was irrational and selfish and petty but Darby couldn't help it. She'd managed to shut off all of her feelings towards her daughter for so long that now she felt like she was a ticking bomb. "Jenna." She said simply.
Margi sighed, walked over to the younger woman and put an arm around her shoulder. "I can't imagine what you're going through."
"What do I do? I can't tell her now, not with everything going on with Emily. That's not fair to her."
"No it's not. Why don't you write Jenna a letter and not give it to her till after floor finals."
Darby nodded. She and Margi sat in silence for the remainder of their meal; Darby suspected Margi knew there wasn't anything else she could say that could help. As soon as she'd done the washing up Darby locked herself in her room and began to write. She was surprised at how easily the words came.
XXX
Payson and Emily's alarm went off. Payson quickly jumped out of bed and Emily threw her pillow at the alarm. Payson grinned, for someone who had to get up at 5.30am six days a week Emily was exceptionally grumpy in the morning.
"Throwing the pillow hasn't done anything for the past two weeks, what change do you think it will make now?" Payson quipped.
"Mmmf, too sleepy to think of a comeback." Emily mumbled. Then she looked at her watch. It had the date "holy crap it's team finals today!" She threw her duvet off her bed and jumped out of it. She walked over to Payson and hugged her tightly.
"It's really here, can you believe it Em?" Payson asked her best friend, her stomach tingling.
Emily smiled shyly "Yes, no – I don't know. It feels like a dream. All that hard work."
"Listen to Sasha yelling." Payson said with a twinkle in her eye.
"And Lauren's bitching." Emily said remembering the incident with the leotard and the slushy.
"And Ellen Beals" Payson sighed making Emily cringe.
"There's no one I'd rather be rooming with Em, and I am so, so happy and so proud of you."
Payson's words almost made Emily cry. She'd never had a more loyal friend. "I'm pretty proud of you too Keeler."
They were interrupted by Kelly banging on the door. "Open up I've got make up and leos!" Emily quickly let her in.
"You're still in your PJ's?" Kelly asked incredulously "I've been up for hours." She said loudly quickly making herself at home in the bathroom, sorting out the lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara and foundation. Rosa followed her carrying the leotards she'd got out of her coach's room. "I'm so glad we decided on the flags" she said.
"Me too" Emily agreed. The leotards were similar to the 1996 team's although they were more blue and red than white and the colours were brighter. Despite being so bright, they suited all of the team. Though Payson and Emily had to wear darker foundation so that they didn't look washed out. After a few minutes Kaylie and Lauren joined them: Lauren in her coach's tracksuit. The girls expertly did each other's make up like they'd done thousands of times. Then they put on their leos. They linked arms in front of the mirror, like they had before worlds. Payson grinned at her team. Her red lipstick and the blue in her leo bringing out her eyes even more than usual. "Let's get this!"
A/N SO sorry about the late update, uni's been crazy busy and I'm developing attachment issues to this story, it's so close to ending and I don't want it to so I've been putting off writing it. Naughty I know! Anyway please let me know what you thought, and thank you for all your reviews for the last chapter :D:D