June 18

Dear Diary,

This is the best summer vacation that I have ever had in my life. I worried about not seeing Jared enough but I needn't have fretted. This is the third week in and I have continued to see him every single day.

I usually pick up a few more shifts at the bookshop I work at but luckily Jared volunteered to give me a lift, so I get to see him and I don't have to guilt Jason into doing it. When I eventually have enough money to buy a car and get insurance I don't think I'd even need to get one, I can just use Jared to ferry me around everywhere. I think I might just use the money I've saved to pay for my tuition fees for univers- oh. Never mind. It's just taking a little bit of getting used to to get it into my head that I'm not going anymore.

I was just joking anyway. Of course I'll buy a car. Or I could use that money as a start to pay for somewhere else to live when I graduate! That's actually a really great idea. I can't wait to move out and have my own place. I could even get Jared to move in with me! That would be really lovely!

Okay, I need to calm down.

Right. I was talking about spending time with Jared.

He still takes Zain for walks with me and on top of that we spend most of our days together. I've been going out with my other friends a lot too as I'm determined not to ditch them, which I've been slightly guilty of doing previously because my mind was a bit preoccupied with Jared and werewolves and stuff like that. But I'm not going to be one of those girls who just forgets her friends until she needs them, because that's just not me. Well, it may have been me for a couple of weeks... okay, months, but I'm pulling myself together and I'm going to be a good friend. I really want to be a good friend.

I've also gone to see Emily quite a few more times and we're getting so close. She's just really down to earth and, like I've said before, it's so refreshing and calming to be able to talk to someone in the same situation as me. However, I am slightly luckier than her because the shit has totally hit the fan for them.

Leah phased.

And her brother too but more importantly: Leah phased. Which means that she now knows everything and the reasons why Sam did the things that he did. I haven't spoken to her as this only happened the other week, but I can imagine that she's not in a happy place right now. Horrifically, something worse happened that makes you realize just how lucky you are.

Her father passed away. I honestly don't know what I would do if I were her. The guys all find her annoying or something because she's a 'bitch', but come on, you're allowed to be the biggest bitch in the world when you've gone what she's gone through. And having to share a mind with the man you love... listening to his thoughts about his new fiancé... I couldn't deal with it, not on top of losing someone so close. She's a far stronger woman than I'll ever be. I want to hate Emily for what she's done to her because it just goes against the girl code, but it's difficult when you know she hates herself for it far more than you ever could.

I'm going to go back to talking about Jared because I'm just going to become a soppy mess again if I carry on thinking about the Leah situation.

For all of the other days Jared and I aren't busy, we either slope around my house, his house, the beach... – or on a few very exciting and momentus occasions, we've gone on a date! We went out for a meal and we went to the movies. We've also been doing a lot more kissing. That takes up a lot of our time spent together nowadays. He's also been saying 'I love you' a few more times. My heart literally stops pumping blood around my body and lungs whenever he says it. My brain can't fathom why the hell he does but I know that I definitely like it when he tells me that.

I love kissing Jared. I think it's my new favorite hobby. I'd do it every day if I could.

We're overcoming the whole heat thing. I just drink a lot of water between kissing and wear minimal and very thin clothing (the less clothing suggestion came from Jared, surprisingly enough). Also, intense making out sessions don't happen under bed covers, as overheating is prone to occur. He sneaked into my room the other night when I was about to fall asleep and so he slinked into my bed. He's done this a few times now and it is literally the loveliest thing. We lay and cuddle and he'll wait till I fall asleep, or we'll stay up late whispering – or on one occasion we started making out and got a bit too into it and I got a bit woozy, so the covers usually have to come off for that particular activity. I wish he could just stay the night properly and not have to sneak around and jump out of the window in the middle of the night, but Mom would never let that happen.

Fortunately though, Jared has gone up in her estimations. He acts lovely and sweet and kind and gentlemanly and she's slowly starting to warm to him. I knew she would. She's super, super stressed about work and if she could she'd probably just use that as an excuse to be rude but she can't fault him. He's just a sweetheart. He taught her how to make this herbal, lemony tea or something like that. It's one of his little family recipes, and it supposedly helps calm you down. I think now she secretly loves him as much as I do, because she's gulping that shit down on a daily basis.

Jared's mom would probably let me stay the night because I think she trusts us not to do anything in her house. I don't know why because she's walked in on us kissing enough times. What I don't get is, Jared's a werewolf! Surely he should hear her coming? I told him this and he shook his head.

"It's not that simple," he explained as he traced his thumb over my lips like he did on my birthday. "It's not always like really good hearing or seeing. Because if I listen to everything I can hear then I'd never have a moments peace and quiet, you know? If I want I can hear the sounds of the ants scurrying around on the forest floor, but why the hell would I want to listen to that? You just don't focus on it... You don't understand, do you? Okay, look over there, on my desk."

I did as he said. "Look at the text book."

"I find it rather interesting that you have a text book on your desk when you never do homework," I commented and he gently nipped my jaw with his teeth to get me to shut up. I did.

"What color is it?"

"Blue."

"Now, what does the little writing under the title say?"

I suddenly got where he was going with it and with a bit of squinting I managed to read out the inscription.

"Do you see what I mean? It's nowhere near as difficult for us to do stuff like that, but if you don't focus on it then you don't really take it into account. It's not like a switch and you can turn it on and off, but it's more like you just drown it out and ignore it when you don't concentrate."

I leant against him. "That's so weird," I said. This stuff boggles my brain, but it's so interesting. "Is it different when you're in wolf form?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Everything is so much more enhanced and vivid. You notice more and you naturally seem to focus on everything. Especially when we're chasing a scent. You notice so much stuff that you wouldn't even dream of. Did you know I have the best eyesight out of the whole pack?"

I looked up at him just as he started smiling. "Anyway, you're to blame for me not hearing my mom come up the stairs."

"What?" I exclaimed, startled. "You just said it was because you don't focus!"

"Yeah," he laughed. "And why aren't I focusing? Because I'm focusing on your lips, and your tongue," he started to stroke my lips again and tilted my head up. My breathing caught as I stared at his mouth with longing. "And your delicious scent, and the feel of your body against mine, and your breathing, and the soft little noises you make that drives me insane."

My whole body flushed and it wasn't just from embarrassment – although, don't get me wrong, there is still a lot of an embarrassment. You'd of thought that us being 'official' would make me less embarrassed, but I can sadly inform you that it has made a miniscule difference. At least I can say 'I love you' or 'I want to suck your face off' without me worrying or stumbling over my words, but there is still a faint tint of pink to my cheeks.

He gripped the side of my face, almost swallowing my head up in his big hands, and pulled me firmly against him, his lips caressing mine with a burning desire that I fully reciprocated as I rolled on top of him.

That's another tip for anyone wanting to get it on with a werewolf. While being underneath and having his body hovering over you is wonderful, you get hotter that way. His body is so big that I'm sort of cocooned under his warm chest, which I love, but it's just easier if I'm on top.

However, making out has not progressed past light touching over clothes, because I am a complete wimpy douche. I know for sure he definitely wants to take it further, but as previously mentioned, I'm a bit of a prude. It's not like he pressures me or anything, he's actually been really good and patient, but I know he wants to do more, which is why me being on top is also better for when I need to break it off before we go too far, because he's not that focused on stoppping. I guess considering his past girlfriends he's probably not used to having to wait a while. I felt bad but then I realised I shouldn't. We haven't been going out long and I shouldn't feel like I have to do anything else. Even though I really want to, I don't think we should so early on. Or is that rather old fashioned of me? I think sex should mean something. I think that you should be totally relaxed and comfortable with that person because you're sharing yourself with them in the most intimate of ways. I don't think there are that many people now who think you should only have sex with someone when you're in love with them.

It's not that I don't think I'm in love with Jared, because I am, but if I'm still a bit nervous and worried then surely I'm not ready, am I? Lucy said she doesn't know what I'm waiting for and that if she were me she would have fucked his brains out ages ago. And it's not like I don't want to, because I do. Jared is gorgeous and sexy and tempting but three weeks is just not long enough for me.

That's not to say that we don't get very caught up during making out. It tends to happen a lot. Like, on a daily basis. I just can't get enough of him.

Yesterday was just another one of those days. Unfortunately – or fortunately, I'm not sure – Paul broke us up.

"Dude, seriously, I'm right here," he said. Jared just grinned. I blushed, obviously.

"I don't even know why I hang out with you any more," Paul said as Joan entered through the front door.

"Oh, Paul! It's so good to see you again!" She smiled that warm 'Thail' smile. "You haven't been round in ages! How are you? Are you hungry? I bet you're hungry. I'll go fix you something up."

She disappeared and Paul turned back to Jared.

"I remember why I come here again; your mom's hot."

Jared pulled the most hilariously revolted face I have ever seen. "Paul, that's fucking disgusting!" he roared and pulled away from me to jump on Paul. "I can't believe you just said that – that's my mom, you fucking pervert!"

Paul shoved him off and stood up, grinning.

"Don't hit him, Jared," I said, pulling him back.

Jared turned to me. "That's my mom!" he repeated, exasperated.

I pulled him back onto the couch as he looked at Paul in disgust.

"Get out of my house and away from my mom."

Paul smirked at him and kept his feet firmly planted on the floor.

"Paul's the sort that likes to be dominated in a relationship," I explained. "It makes sense that he'd be attracted to an independent, commanding, older woman. That's why he's always so aggressive. He's not being properly fulfilled by girls his own age. He goes through so many but none of them are old or strong enough."

Paul was the one who looked disgusted now, although Jared did mention something about being sick.

"If Jared weren't so freaking obsessed with you, you'd be dead by now," Paul said, glaring at me. "He thinks you're so cute and innocent, but I'm on to you, Conweller."

"Paul?" Joan called from the kitchen.

"Coming!" he called back happily and hopped off after her.

I tried not to giggle while Jared still shuddered at the thought of anyone thinking of his mom like that.

I have recently discovered that the best way to deal with Paul is to tease him as much as he teases me. It's really rather fun.

"Do you two want anything?" Joan asked, sticking her head round the door.

"Oh, remembered your own son now, have you?" Jared asked and she rolled her eyes and smiled at me in that 'what's he like?' way.

"No than–" I started but Jared cut me off.

"Yes please, we'll both have the same as whatever Paul's having if that's okay, Mom."

I turned to him and sighed as Joan smiled and went back into the kitchen.

"Jared…"

He shook his head. "No, Kim. You haven't eaten today."

I was stupid enough to have revealed the previous week that I was trying to diet – I know I mentioned it earlier and didn't stick to it; but this is different. I've actually been quite good lately. Then when we were at Emily's she offered me a cupcake while the 'pack' were sitting around her table, eating, and I declined. For some reason mentioned I was trying to be healthy, which was such a mistake.

The boys didn't understand. They seem to think that it's torture and now they all believe that I'm the masochist of the group.

"Why don't you want to eat?" Quil asked, frowning as he stuffed his face.

"It's not that I'm not eating, I'm just not eating particularly unhealthy things all the time."

"Why?" Jared asked, wrinkling his nose up like all the others.

"You don't think you're fat, do you?" Paul asked in a very fed up tone.

"No, I just –"

"You're not fat!" Jared protested.

"I didn't say I was, I –"

"She's such a total girl," Paul grumbled.

"I didn't even –"

"You're not fat, Kim," Embry said softly.

"But I wasn't –"

"You're not. You can't starve yourself. Please eat something," Jared said and I banged my head against the table.

"Fine," I relented and ate the freaking cupcake. I honestly wasn't even hungry!

And that has been the case for every time since then that I have not stuffed my face in front of him.

"Actually, yes I have," I tried to explain to him yesterday, but to no avail. "I had breakfast just before I left. I'm not hungry, Jared."

He frowned and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap. "Don't care."

"But I –"

"Don't care."

"I'm just –"

"Don't care."

I hit his chest and he laughed, pulling my head in so he could kiss my forehead. "You're such a child, Jared," I said.

"Don't care," he replied again, grinning and I glared.

"And so very annoying."

"Aww, baby! You don't mean that!"

I shook my head at him just as Joan came in. He kissed me softly.

He's lovely and caring and everything, but I can't help but feel sometimes that it's too much. It's not that I don't want him to care about me, because that's so nice, but I don't want him to fuss over me or mother me, I'd rather we were equals in this relationship, you know? I don't want him to care for me. I know it sounds pathetic to pick at things like that but... it's just weird. Oh god. It does sound stupid. When you put this into perspective what Leah Clearwater is going through... I just sound like a dick. But this relationship sort of happened so quickly. We went from not talking that much, to him finding out I was his soul mate. It happened rather suddenly instead of it being gradual and I think I'm only just really noticing that.

"Seeing Paul reminded me, you need to go and get some clothes," Joan said. Jared groaned. "You lot can't keep running around in cut off jeans because nothing else fits you. You look like hobos. Maurine at the shop was trying to give me discount on groceries because she saw you and thought we couldn't afford new clothes!"

"But long jeans get so hot," he moaned, looking up at her with the look in his eyes that he knows will make her fold. He is such a mommy's boy. "And short clothes are so much easier for phasing..."

"I don't care," she replied, and his eyes narrowed in dissapointment. "You can't carry on like that forever. Go this weekend."

He groaned and she sighed, looking at me. "Would you go with him and make sure he actually buys something?"

I smiled and agreed as Jared groaned and glared at me. Paul chortled at him.

"Paul, you can come too!" I said and his smile fell.

"What?" he replied dryly.

"Oh, that's a great idea!" Joan said.

"Nah, I'm alright, thanks."

"No, no, you should go and get some clothes that actually fit you. I'm gonna call Linda and make sure you go," Joan said with a tone of true mother's efficiency in her voice as she walked out the room.

Paul dropped back down on the sofa. "I hate you," he said to me and I slapped my hand over my heart.

"Me too," Jared said and I slapped my other hand over my heart, my mouth hanging open.

"What did I do?"

Their eyes narrowed and I leant into Jared, smiling as I pressed my face against his neck.

"This is only fair compared to all of the times you lot have been horrible and teased me..."

Jared pushed me away and they were both glaring, about to say something but I spoke before they got the chance.

"Aren't you forgetting the food?" I said quickly and their minds were completely wiped.

"Oh yeah," they both vanished to the kitchen.

Easy.

Do you know what else is easy? Winding them up when you're shopping. I wasted no time once the idea of taking them had gotten into my mind and got Jared to drive us up to Port Angeles today.

"Try on this. And this. And this. Oh and this," I said happily, chucking items of clothing into their (unwilling) awaiting arms. "I'm not sure what size you are so just take a couple different sizes of that."

I tried to be prepared and measure them before we left but… it didn't turn out how I planned, shall we say. I managed to measure Jared's waist, but he and Paul seemed to find it hilarious when I knelt in front of him with a tape measure to measure his leg. It's hilarious, apparently.

They get awfully crude when they're together sometimes. I blushed so hard it looked like they'd been strangling me with the tape measure.

Well, it's their own fault now. They'll just have to try on loads of sizes until they find something that fits them. I was just trying to make things easier, they're the ones who didn't want to go shopping. After that mortifying moment I decided to take complete enjoyment out of the rest of the day at their expense.

"And this, this, and this. Ooh, and that!"

Jared and Paul traipsed behind me with glum faces. It was rather entertaining. I love shopping, but using it as a form of torture is a whole new fun experience for me.

"Aww, Jared! Wear this!" I cooed, turning to him.

He glared at me. "It's pink."

"Yeah," I said, smiling and pushing into his hands. He put it back on the rack.

"No. It's pink."

"There's nothing wrong with wearing pink."

He glared at me.

"Everyone knows guys who are worried about wearing pink aren't comfortable with their sexuality," I said, crossing my arms. My step-sister used to tell Jason that all the time. Then he wore pink and his friends made fun of him. Lydia adores making fun of Jason as much as I do. Although he's nowhere near as mean to her as he is to me.

Paul and Jared shared a look. They both looked at it, debating whether they should go for it. If one of them did, then the other could look like they're secretly hiding some homosexual feelings. But then if they go for it, the other one might make fun of them for wanting to wear a pink shirt. Personally I have no idea why they're bothered. Noone cares anymore, but unfortunatly La Push are a little behind on the times. 'Metrosexual' just isn't a word in the Quileute vocabulary. 'Werewolves' and 'hunting vampires' are instead.

They shared another look.

It was a very tense moment.

I know it was cruel of me to tease them on this but it's pay back for the earlier jokes.

"I'm not wearing pink," they both said quickly in sync, sighing in relief that the other said the same. I cracked up.

"It'll clash with our skin tone," Jared said. Paul nodded.

"There's nothing wrong with wearing pink," I repeated but couldn't hold down the laughter. Now the tense worry had left them, they were back to glaring at me.

"Can we just hurry this shit up?"

"Yeah," Jared agreed. "This is third shop we've been in."

He's such a silly, naïve boy sometimes. He thinks three is a lot?

"Come on," I responded, smiling. They had a long day ahead of them. "You need to try those on."

I learnt in the second shop that if I don't wait outside and make them show me, then they just stand in there, talking, and come out later to tell me nothing fits.

Sneaky little shits.

They both grumbled but did as I said.

"Oh, this is ridiculous," Paul said as he pulled back the curtain for the fifth top he was trying on. I tried not to roll around on the floor.

"I think it's a bit too small," I commented, muffling my laughter.

"You think?" he scoffed sarcastically. It came up to belly button. I knew that one would be too short but this was hilarious, far more so than I'd anticipated.

A sales assistant walked past and gave him and his six pack a suggestive glance. She obviously thought he was a lot older than he was.

He gave her his best 'sexy eyes' and she returned them.

"Your boyfriend would love that!" I said, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. "You know navy is Mark's favorite color."

She quickly disappeared around the corner. Paul's head turned to me slowly, angrily.

"Why. The. Fuck. Did you just say that?"

I laughed as he glared. I knew he didn't mean it really. I know it seems when you write it down that we've gotten worse and he hates me, but I feel like it's actually the opposite. I think deep down he likes me, even if it's just for Jared's sake. When Jared was off pretending to try something on in the first shop someone bumped into me and Paul nearly ripped his head off for potentially hurting me. What a cutie.

"Jared, will you kindly get your girlfriend to fuck off?"

Well, 'cute' isn't the right word for it.

Jared emerged from the stall next to him, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Shut the hell up and leave her alone," he said and Paul huffed. I grinned at him as I leaned into Jared's side.

I still get giddy when I'm referred to as his girlfriend. It's a very nice feeling.

"She totally would have fucked me if it weren't for her!"

"She was in her thirties," I said. "You're seventeen."

He looked at me. "And?"

I turned to Jared. "Told you I was right about the older woman theory."

Paul hit me with a t-shirt and I smiled at him. He's really not that scary at all once you get to know him.

"Anyway," I pulled away from Jared and looked at the jeans. "Turn around?"

He did so and I held in the happy sigh that threatened to escape. Have I mentioned that Jared has a great ass? And I love his thighs. They're so sculpted and manly.

"Get the jeans," I croaked.

"Why is it," Paul asked, leaning against the stall wall, crossing his arms, "That girls don't like it when we stare at your tits, but it's fine when it's the other way round? Hmm?" Jared turned back around, looking confused but pleasantly intrigued. "She was totally checking out your ass, man." Jared grinned proudly.

"I do have rather amazing buttocks," he said, and we both ignored him.

"There's a difference, Paul," I said as my cheeks flushed at being caught. I had no clue how I was gonna get myself out of that one. "Err... there's a difference between staring and a subtle look of appreciation."

"No there's not!" he protested.

"Yes there is. I didn't stand their gaping, it was just a quick sweeping glance." I was totally bullshitting it.

He rolled his eyes at me as Jared pulled me into him, still grinning.

"I know I'm hot, Kim, but please, not in the middle of a store."

"See? He'd never of known before. Now you've inflated his ego."

He nodded at Paul, grinning the same cheeky look then kissed me.

Someone else walked past and I blushed like always when I remember we're in puplic. I said before that I get caught up in Jared rather easily and it's even more embarrassing now that the PDA has progressed to kissing too.

Jared kissed my nose. "I'm gonna go change. Don't peek. Well, you can if you want."

I crossed my arms and looked away, my cheeks heating up to an even darker shade of red. They both laughed and Jared leaned in to kiss me.

I shook my head and pulled away as Paul pulled the curtain back across, making gagging sounds as Jared tried to pull me into him.

"Come on, Kimmy, please don't be like that." I shook my head again and my thin hair whipped him in the face as he pulled me against his chest.

"It's just so fun," he explained as he kissed my forehead, but I moved back again.

"Fun to make my life hell?"

He laughed, his hands settling on my hips.

"You don't mean that," he told me, smiling as he pulled me closer.

I nodded but let him press his lips to mine.

Paul opened the curtain across again. "Seriously, get a room. It's disgusting – an embarrassment to have to be seen around you two."

"How about a changing room cubicle?" Jared offered as he started to pull me into his. I slapped his hands away and, with a pout, he retreated by himself as I told Paul which tops to buy. Sometimes they act just like children.

"I thought nerds didn't like to shop?" he grumbled.

Now I remember more of what he says still, ignore what I said about being closer to Paul. He's still a douche.

Kim Conweller

Okay this is a killer long chapter, so I hope you liked it and didn't find it too boring. There's a little bit of action in the next one, this was more to just show how their relationship has changed now that they're together.

As always, a massive thank you to those who are sticking with this and reading, and especially to those favouriting or taking the time to write reviews, because I really appreciate feedback.

There might be a few more errors in here than usual because it's getting late and I don't have the energy to read through it one more time, but I really wanted to get the next chapter up rather than waiting till tomorrow because I'm too busy, so I'm sorry if it's noticeably worse :)

Abby 24 - Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it :)

Sammy - Aah, thank you for being so insanely lovely! Your review made my day!