Hermione opened her eyes and blinked in surprise; Severus was leaning over her, looking concerned. She tried to sit up or smile at him or lift her hand to brush his cheek, but found that her muscles felt as if they were on fire. She took a deep breath, trying to relax. Even smiling hurt, but she forced herself to in spite of the pain.

Looking past his face, she saw a white ceiling and bright, glowing white orbs floating near it. She frowned at this, but let the muscles in her face relax because they hurt. The ceiling and the orbs were familiar, but they weren't her rooms. In fact, she suddenly knew that she wasn't in Hogwarts at all. Severus was still leaning over her, looking as if he hadn't slept in a while.

She felt his fingers encircle her hand, and was relieved by how cool his skin felt against hers. She saw a muscle in his jaw tighten when he touched her. "You are burning up."

She blinked at him. She knew where she was. "Why are we in Saint Mungo's?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

In reply, he asked, "What do you remember?"

Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, thinking back. What did she remember? "Class was over," she began, speaking her thoughts as she mentally went back to the last thing she knew before waking up there in the hospital. "I was walking to the Great Hall for dinner, and I knew I was going to be late because I'd spent too much time grading homework."

He gazed into her eyes steadily, not blinking. "Anything else?"

Hermione stared at him. She bit her lip and didn't notice when it hurt. "I . . ." she started, then stopped as she thought over it again. "I was in one of the corridors near my classroom when someone yelled something behind me and . . . and it hurt, and then . . . then there was nothing. What happened?" she asked, though she doubted he could give an answer.

"You didn't show for dinner," he said, sighing. "I assumed you were busy with homework and didn't think anything of it until you didn't turn up in the lounge and then didn't answer when I knocked on your door. So I went in the direction of your classroom, expecting to find you there, but you weren't. I'd taken the way straight from the lounge, but it occurred to me that you walked to the Great Hall and back a different way, so I went to see, though I couldn't have expected what I found."

Hermione frowned. "What did you find?"

He shook his head, refusing to answer. Instead, he said, "Minerva and I are convinced it was a student."

"A student," she repeated. She was too preoccupied to notice that the longer she was awake, the less her skin and muscles burned.

He saw that she didn't understand and supplied, "You were attacked."

"By a student?" Hermione asked, disbelieving.

"The students from my house loath me more enthusiastically than usual, due to the fact that I took several hundred points from them."

"Several hundred?" she looked up at him and frowned. He was smirking.

"There is no doubt in my mind that it was a Slytherin who attacked you. It is hardly flattering, but they rather despise you, my love."

Even in such circumstances, a thrill ran through Hermione when Severus called her that.

She smiled at him and asked sarcastically, "A death eater's son or daughter, perhaps?"

She was surprised when he nodded gravely. "I believe so. Though it is unclear which one it was, and unfortunately the children of the dark lord's servants have learned a few of their parents' tricks; all of them have the antidote to veritaserum and none can be tricked into speaking."

Hermione nodded, noticing now that her muscles didn't hurt anymore. "Maybe it's a good thing you won't figure out who did it," she mused.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "And how is that?"

She smirked. "I would fear for the student if they were left to your wrath and punishment. I have the feeling you would be a bit less than lenient with him or her for what they did."

He actually chuckled. "Indeed."

His hand curled more tightly around hers, and she squeezed him back with her fingers. He changed the subject then. "You are cooling."

Hermione nodded. "Will you help me sit up?"

He nodded, doing as she asked and propping her up against her pillows. "The healers said you would cool and the burning cease not long after you woke," he said.

She looked around the hospital room, noting the bed across from her, where a witch with fur all over her arms was sleeping. "How long before I can get back to Hogwarts and start teaching again?" she asked.

Severus raised an eyebrow. Then he actually gave her one of his rare, genuine smiles. "You were in pain only moments ago, woke up not half an hour before now, and already you can think of nothing but returning to the school?" He brushed a hair out of her face. "Have you no desire for anything but education, whether it be your own or that of your students?"

Hermione smiled at him. She stared into his eyes for a moment before musing, "I desire only one thing above education."

He raised his eyebrows. "Shocking. Do tell what that might be."

She bit her lip for a moment before smiling again. "You."

He smirked, but looked rather pleased.

She enjoyed the beautiful, dark brown colour of his eyes for a moment before asking, "Now can we get out of here yet?"

He sighed and took her other hand so that he was holding both of hers. "Let's see whether you can walk before we talk about leaving, shall we?"

Hermione shrugged and eagerly scooted towards the edge of the bed, leaning on him for only a moment before pulling out of his grasp and stepping back, away from him. She put her hands on her hips and smirked at him. "There, I can walk and stand on my own. Can we go now?"

He shook his head at her but offered her his arm, and they walked down to the main floor to tell the witch at the desk that Hermione was leaving. They made it to the entrance of the hospital and stepped out onto the muggle street, disapparating back to the school.

Severus watched Hermione with interest. She was already better and healed from being attacked, but the attack itself worried him; he knew death eaters and their children much better than she did, and he knew that there was every reason to believe that something of this sort could and most likely would happen again. He didn't let on how concerned he was, and she didn't seem to have the same suspicions as he did about the Slytherin students. He hadn't told her what the Slytherin common room had been like after he'd found Hermione and taken her to Madam Pomfrey. He'd gone straight there to find out who had attacked her, but all hell had already broken loose in the common room in the dungeon. Students were shouting, the majority of their house on one side of the room and the rest on the other, wands drawn, yelling hexes and curses and charms and dodging those that came their way.

He'd put a stop to it and found that the smaller group of students had taken sides with Hermione. One of those rare young people who were loyal to her even though she was a Gryffindor had caught wind of the attack on her and as a result he attacked the student responsible. After that students had taken sides; with Hermione and her group of Gryffindor Pets, as they'd been called, or against them.

Severus had managed to sort out who had first made an advance on the attacker and had scolded him but not taken points from him or given him detention, though he probably should have for attacking a fellow student. Even the one who had defied Hermione's attacker, though, refused to tell who the culprit was. At this point all of Slytherin house had banded together and not told Severus who the guilty student was. Severus had taken a great number of points for them for not obeying his order to tell who it was, and then taken a great many more for the attack itself and for the fight that went on between them, though he named only those he had seen on the side of the room who were against Hermione and loyal to her attacker.

The students had obviously sensed that their head of house would be positively furious with whoever had attacked Hermione at had then—no matter which side they were on during the wand fight—decided to be loyal to their house rather than their teacher. This had made Severus furious, and after deducting points and sentencing most of them to detention he had stormed back up to the hospital wing to see what Poppy Pomfrey had to say about Hermione. The curse that the student had used was a dark one, and Poppy had said that it was best to take Hermione to Saint Mungo's just to be safe.

Severus had hoped that once the curse was identified he could link it to one of the now-dead death eaters that he had once worked with if they had used it often and he had known about it. However, the curse was a dark and commonly-used one among the death eaters so any of their children could have learned it from a parent and decided to use it on their least favorite teacher. Severus had known that she was in no mortal danger but a considerable amount of pain and had taken her immediately, leaving Poppy on her way to Minerva's office to inform her of the attack.

Hermione had been unconscious for only a matter of hours, and that was due mostly to the effects of the treatment and potion that the healers had given her. It was now almost midnight as they entered the school, walking through the dark entrance hall and down a spiral staircase towards the dungeon. Both of them knew the way well. Severus had been informed that he was to take Hermione back to her room to rest as soon as she was well and there would be time for talk with the headmistress about what had happened the following day.

They stepped into her room and closed the door. He reminded her, "Minerva would be perfectly capable of teaching in your place should you want to spend a day recovering."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "Recovering? Severus, I have students who need me."

He frowned and growled, "It's apparent at least one of them doesn't think so."

She smirked at him. "And since when have I started listening to him or her, hmm?"

He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak but she lifted a hand to stop him.

"I know you're concerned," she said. Then she grabbed his cloak and stood on her toes, her face now close to his. "Thank you for caring," and then she leaned in, kissing him lightly before pulling away. "But I'm not resigning just because of one or two rebellious students who don't see me as an ally."

He smirked at her. "You're going to kill them with kindness," he said. It wasn't a question as much as it was a statement.

She nodded, smirking back. "Of course."

He shook his head, searching her face. Where was the source of her seemingly infinite patience with everyone around her? She was so forgiving, so willing to forget everyone's past and let them show her their true selves in the present. She would give almost anyone a second chance. She had given Severus one after all. Would her ability to love those who had hurt her ever fail her? Severus looked deep into her eyes, raising an eyebrow to ask where her patience came from.

She didn't see the question in his eyes, but was able to lose herself in the colour of them.

They were silent for a moment, and then he said, "You'll love them in spite of their behavior towards you."

She nodded. "I will."

He stared into her eyes. "Just as you loved me."

She smiled but said nothing, agreeing with her eyes alone.

He shook his head lightly. "They do not deserve your patience or your love."

Hermione bit her lip and inclined her head, agreeing. "Some of them do. And the others will learn to accept that I will forgive them no matter what they do."

Thinking over everything that had happened between him and the young woman standing in front of him, Severus looked away. "But they could earn the trust that you will give them whether you should or not."

Hermione tilted her head to the side. "They could," she granted. She was still staring into his face, though he was still looking away. Why was he looking away? Before she could ask what was wrong he spoke.

"I will never deserve your patience, your love, or your forgiveness," he said.

"Severus," she started to scold quietly, but he went on.

"I can never earn the right to claim your forgiveness, your love, or your patience."

"That's not true," she said softly.

His eyes flashed and he met her gaze. "Even if I didn't have my past to haunt me, to give you reason to hate me," he said, his voice growing thicker with each word, "I have failed you in every way."

"Lies," she whispered.

"No," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "It's true. I have failed you. In every way possible."

Hermione saw that he wasn't going to let it go and gave in, though she still had a mind to put a stop to this unreasonable remorse on his part. "How have you failed me?" she asked.

He stared deep into her eyes. His gaze was intense and hard, though his eyes were dark brown and told of his love for her. "I hurt you. I lied to you, broke you, put you through hell. I lost you. I was unable to protect you. It wasn't me that saved you in the Chamber. It was because of another man's actions that you survived that night. And even now, when there are no longer death eaters who are free and searching for me and threatening you, there are still others who hurt you. I was not there when whichever of them it was attacked you. The student was the son or daughter of one or perhaps two of the dark lord's servants. He or she could have killed you. And where was I? Sitting in the Great Hall at a table, having disregarded your absence and enjoying my own meal while you were being attacked!"

Hermione watched him, though she didn't flinch when he balled his fists and clenched his jaw after he had spoken. She had heard him raise his voice very rarely, over hardly anything. And he seemed deeply affected, disturbed and marked by his accusations toward himself. She took a deep breath. He was looking away from her again. How long had he been torturing himself with such thoughts? Days? Weeks? Months, even?

"Severus," she said quietly, putting her hand on his cheek and turning his head back to face her. It took a moment, but at last his eyes met hers. She shook her head gently. "None of that is true."

He was trembling, and she was afraid. Not of him or what he might do, but rather of what he was doing to himself. He was tearing himself apart from the inside out, and she knew it.

"It is," he growled, his voice harsher than he intended. But when he searched her face for the shock and the hurt she should be feeling after his words, he found only the same ever-present love and patience, forgiveness. The things he had never deserved and never would. "Why?" he asked hoarsely.

Hermione blinked. "Why?" she repeated, not comprehending his meaning.

He swallowed, looking deep into her eyes. "Why?" he asked again. "Why do you love me? How? How can you? After every mistake you know I've made, every failure, every fault, every thing I've ever done? I served the most powerful dark wizard in the country, in the world!" He was growling now, speaking through clenched teeth, trembling violently. "I killed people," he said, clenching and unclenching his fists as he stared at Hermione, "And not just men. I killed women, children, innocent people! Muggles, witches, wizards, half bloods, muggle-borns, anyone he wanted me to."

Hermione shook her head at him, tears pooling in her eyes. What kind of hell must he go through every day, reliving these things? Living with the kind of regret that would never leave, that would haunt him forever?

"You turned away from that life," she said calmly, though a tear escaped and slid down her cheek. "You didn't go back. You were a spy for Dumbledore. You saved Harry, Ron and I countless times. Severus, you are a good man."

But now he was shaking his head slowly. "I killed Albus," he said calmly, steadily, though his voice was still thick with emotion.

"Severus, what was it that saved you? Why did you leave Voldemort?" Hermione asked, desperate to get a point across.

He had looked away, but his eyes flashed to hers again. "Lily," he said.

Hermione nodded. She stepped forward, cupping his face in her hands and looking up at him as several more tears rolled down her cheeks. "Severus, why did you leave Voldemort for Lily?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"I loved her," he said hoarsely.

Hermione nodded again as more tears fell. "You loved her. Love, Severus. Love is the reason you left that life and became the man you are today. Love is the reason I can forgive you, forget your past, and embrace the man you are at the present, the man who I love with everything I have."

He stared down at her, searching her face. He would never understand why she loved him, or how she could. And what she saw in him, he would never grasp or comprehend. But as she put her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder, clinging to him as if her life depended on never letting go, he accepted that he would never know. He would have to live without understanding, and that was all right. He lifted trembling arms and encircled her with them, pulling her closer. He rested his chin on top of her head, closing his eyes.

Hermione clung to him. He was still trembling, so much that she was shaking in his embrace. She looked up at him, and he gazed down into her face. "When I see you, I see a good man, someone with a past, yes, a history of mistakes. But everyone has made mistakes, Severus. Everyone."

"Not mistakes like the ones I made," he said hoarsely.

She moved her hand to his cheek and stared intently into his eyes. "Our mistakes are not what define us; it's what we learn from them and how we go on after we've made them that does."

They stared at each other, lost for another timeless moment in one another's eyes.

"I love you," Hermione said firmly.

Severus smirked. "I am painfully aware."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not so terrible as you think, you know, me loving you. I do love you, and I hate that you of all people think it a mistake I'm making."

He sighed. "I do not think it a mistake; I simply can see no reason for someone like you to love anyone like myself."

Hermione gave him a crooked smile. "And I will never understand how I managed to get you to love me in return."

He rolled his eyes at her, but she only smirked at him. "I love you," she said again, staring into his eyes.

"I love you," he answered, returning her steady gaze.

He released her and turned towards the door, but she reached out and pulled gently at his arm, turning him back towards her. "Don't go."

He raised his eyebrows at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh Merlin, I don't know what you think I'm suggesting, but whatever you're thinking, it's wrong! You can sleep in that uncomfortable chair by the bed if you like; I just want to know you're here with me."

His expression softened and he glanced past her towards her bedroom. Then he turned towards the door again.

"Wait," she complained, grabbing his arm again. "Won't you stay?"

He smirked at her crestfallen look and desperate tone of voice. "Of course. However, you didn't assume that I slept in my cloak and robes, did you?"

Hermione blushed. "O- of course, I- I . . ." she bit her lip and looked at her feet.

He was rather amused by her embarrassment, and left her rooms, smirking.

After he'd gone Hermione went to her bedroom and changed into her pajamas, going to the bathroom to brush her teeth and her hair before she went and sat on the edge of her bed to wait. Crookshanks jumped up into her lap and she stroked his head absently while she thought over the things Severus had said. She hated that he felt such things about himself. It was terrible. She would spend the rest of her life proving him wrong, if that's what it was going to take to convince him.

Severus entered her rooms and closed the door behind him, walking to her bedroom calmly. He entered and she looked up from the floor, which she had been staring at with particular intensity. He raised his eyebrows when she covered her mouth with her hands.

Hermione didn't know what she had expected; a replica of his usual clothes, only somehow night things? She had seen Severus Snape wearing nothing but dark robes, cloaks, shirt, trousers and his usual dark clothing all of her life. And now, he was standing before her in night things that were just as dark as his daytime clothes, though they were actual pajamas. Hermione found it so disorienting and completely surreal to see him dressed in muggle pajamas she simply couldn't keep her hands from flying to cover her mouth. But they were too late to stop a giggle escaping at the sight of him. And once the first giggle had come, there was more laughter, until she was rocking back and forth on the edge of her bed and Crookshanks had leapt away from her lap and to the safety of the solid floor.

When her laughter finally subsided, Severus had seated himself in the chair by the bed and was looking at her, his face the picture of bemusement. He obviously did not quite understand how she found his appearance so laughable, but neither did he seem upset or angry with her over her reaction. He simply watched her. He was quite sure that it was actually the first time he had been the one to cause such laughter from her, and was too focused on that fact to mind that she was laughing at him.

When she had collected herself and was no longer giggling, she crawled to her place in the middle of her bed and grabbed her wand, dimming the lights and curling up under her blankets. She didn't pull the bed hangings closed, as that would put something between her and Severus. It was dark in her room with only the dying fire to light it, but eventually their eyes adjusted. Hermione turned onto her side, facing Severus, and closed her eyes, trying to sleep. Severus remained in his straight, proper sitting position and watched her in the dark. He couldn't take his eyes off of her face, pale and seemingly glowing slightly in the darkness.

Several moments passed, but sleep would not come to Hermione. She rolled onto her back and faced the ceiling, relaxing. But still, she would not drift off. So she turned onto her other side, her back to Severus. She tossed and turned for the next hour, and he watched her, never losing interest in what she was doing, even if she was half asleep but restless.

At last she turned onto her side and faced him in the dark. She could see his eyes glittering at her in the darkness. "Severus," she whispered.

He lifted his chin slightly in response. "Yes?"

"Are you uncomfortable?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows, though he knew she couldn't see it. "I am fine," he said.

"I can't sleep," she whispered.

He chuckled dryly. "So I have noticed."

He caught the glint of her quick smile in the darkness. "I'm tired, but I can't sleep," she said, sounding rather annoyed with herself. There was silence for a moment and then, "Would you . . ." she trailed off, stopping mid-sentence.

Severus waited for her to pick up where she had left off and finish. When she didn't, he prodded, "Would I . . .?"

Her voice dropped so low he scarcely heard the words she said next. "Would you sleep beside me?"

"You're sure there is no other way you can sleep at all?" he asked, though he admitted to himself that he rather wanted her to say yes to his question. He got as he wished.

"I'm sure."

Sighing loudly to be sure that she knew he wasn't too eager, he rose from his seat and stepped up to the edge of her bed. She wiggled away from him, to the other side of the bed, watching him in the darkness. He hesitated. If the headmistress found out . . . but then he decided that they were doing nothing wrong, not really. And McGonagall didn't actually have any power to tell them not to do something. Then again, she was the headmistress and this was her school . . . "Minerva will have my head if she ever hears of this," he muttered to Hermione as he himself slid under the blankets and into the bed beside her.

He lay back, resting his head on the pillow. It was a great deal more comfortable than the chair by the bed. For only a fraction of a second he flashed back, seeing Hermione sitting in the chair by his bed, sleeping. How she had slept there every night and never complained, he couldn't even begin to understand. Then he came back the present and sighed, relatively relaxed and comfortable, and turned his head to look at Hermione.

She looked at him, watching his face. It was apparent, even in the darkness, that he was more comfortable in the bed than the chair. Pleased with herself, she smiled at him momentarily in the darkness. It was strange but comforting, feeling him close beside her even though they did not touch. She felt an overwhelming sense of peace and security with him there. His presence echoed safety and she could not have been more comfortable. He didn't move her way, and she wriggled, moving closer to him bit by bit, little by little, until her arm brushed his.

He had been completely aware of her supposedly covert movements to his side, and did not flinch when she touched him. However, he had no idea what he was doing and was feeling panicked again. He felt awkward and uncomfortable enough touching her, embracing her, when they were standing up or sitting. But lying down, and in a bed? What was he supposed to do?

She answered his question silently, doing half of it for him as she squirmed under his arm and rested her head on his chest. His arm was already around her, though he was trembling again, fearing that she would shy away if he did anything. Then he reprimanded himself for these thoughts and curled his arm around her, pulling her more closely against him. He adjusted the way he was laying so that he turned her way slightly, and found it very comfortable to have her there, so close, pressed against him.

Hermione fell asleep, thrilled by his presence and his touch almost so much that sleep was impossible, though eventually she drifted off, a ghost of a smile touching her lips. Severus took a bit longer to fall asleep. First he was afraid that if he fell asleep he would turn in his sleep and hurt her or make her uncomfortable. When he got over that, he was terrified of snoring or causing her to lose any sleep. And when that had gone from his mind, he was suddenly afraid of missing a single moment.

Hermione was so close to him, closer than she'd ever been before, it seemed, and he didn't want to close his eyes and fail to see anything. He was mesmerized, fascinated by the steady rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed, and her head rising and falling with his chest as he did. She was close enough that he could hear her heartbeat, feel her every breath. At last he accepted that it was all right to fall asleep and he curled his other arm around her as well, feeling her lean into his embrace more when he did. He buried his face in her hair, allowing himself to enjoy how lovely she smelled and felt in his arms, and fell asleep with her.

All right, I would love to hear from you about what you thought of this chapter! Thank you all for reading/reviewing! I am very excited about continuing the story and hope you'll stick around and keep reading. It has been a wonderful experience for me, as this is my first story, and I thank every one of you who has read it so very, very much from the bottom of my heart. All of my love! ~Taelr