Severus stayed with Hermione a third time, not long after the second. They were rather discreet about the entire thing, lest people get the wrong idea and begin to assume things that were not actually taking place. Only Ginny knew that Severus had ever stayed in Hermione's room with her, and they told no one else.
Hermione hadn't seemed to have even a single free moment in the last month, and it was nearing the end of January. She still hadn't made her visit to the shrieking shack, but had decided to go as soon as she had the chance. She knew that Severus was busy with several students who were failing potions and needed extra classes, so she hadn't asked him to come along. It was a Saturday when she was finally free of homework to be graded or students to help.
It was just after lunch when she left the Great Hall, not even glancing over her shoulder at Severus, who watched her leave. He knew because she was wearing her heavier cloak and a hat that she was going outdoors, where there was still a thick blanket of snow on everything.
Hermione passed small groups of students who were out enjoying the cold air and throwing snowballs at each other. They noticed her but none of them attacked her with snow or tried to bring her into their battles, which she was grateful for. A couple of them watched as she walked towards the whomping willow, but they lost interest in her destination soon enough and turned back to their own affairs.
When she reached the tree, which twisted and swung its branches upon her approach, she gazed at it for a moment before looking over the students not too far away. None of them were paying attention to her any longer, so she found a stick and paralyzed the tree, crawling on all fours through the tunnel under between its roots and lighting the way with her wand. When she reached the shrieking shack and stepped out, it was dim inside, much dimmer than it had been when she found Severus all that time before. She got the strangest feeling, and it was eerie, being back in that place. There was an overwhelming wave of memories that washed over her and she leaned against the wall, not even fighting them and letting herself relive several.
She looked around the room she was standing in, swallowing when she noticed the bloodstained boards on the wall and floor where Severus had nearly died. Where she had found him. Her eyes remained on the place for several moments and then she looked away, letting her gaze drift slowly over the room, taking in every detail and holding her lighted wand high to see everything around her. A chill ran down her spine and she used her free hand to pull her cloak closer around her shoulders. The shivers she was experiencing were more than just from the frigid air around her, though; she was reliving the day she had come to see Severus' dead body and had instead found him alive.
How different would her life be today if she had stayed in the Great Hall with Ron and everyone else and never come to the shrieking shack?
She would still be enjoying her job as a professor at her old school, she knew. But would she and Ron still be together? If Severus hadn't survived then Hermione would never had been his nurse and Ron would never have lost his temper because she cared for the potions master. She wouldn't be engaged now, she knew; she and Ron hadn't been that serious, and they would need to be serious for much longer than a few months before he would ever think of getting down on one knee and asking her to marry him. And even if he had, she would have made him wait, wanting to be sure that she really wanted to be his wife and spend her life with him before she actually said yes. She would have refused him and asked that he wait a few years.
She considered then how she had fallen for Severus slowly, but how quick she had been to say yes as soon as he proposed. Perhaps it was because she had been very serious with him, and it had been a while. They had been through a lot together. But then, she and Ron had been through much together as well, so where was the difference? Why had she told Severus "yes" immediately when she would have made Ron wait? Perhaps it was more than just her relationship with Severus or with Ron, but the two different men themselves. Ron would still have been sort of unsure of whether he really wanted to marry Hermione or not even if he asked, as they hadn't been together or serious for all that long. Whereas Severus, given his disposition and usual behavior, had done the opposite of what was to be expected of him by asking Hermione to marry him. She realized it was because of what it really meant for him, to be willing to get down on one knee and admit that he couldn't offer her much, that Hermione had said yes.
But she wouldn't be engaged, wouldn't have ever noticed how much she liked the way Severus smelled, wouldn't have been like some lifeless creature herself over the summer because she wouldn't have cared for him, if he hadn't lived. She wouldn't have ever thought of him as anything more than the misunderstood, misjudged man who ended up being a hero, would never had known the truth about him, about his true self, if he had died in the shack. So many things would be different if she hadn't returned to the shrieking shack. Hermione found herself thanking her instincts—and herself for following them—when she came to the shrieking shack all those months before. That single act of walking to the whomping willow and crawling through the tunnel beneath it had changed her life dramatically and things would never go back to the way they had been before.
She saw herself in her mind's eye, cleaning Severus' wounds as if he was alive even though she was sure he had died. And then she had found him to be quite the opposite of dead, and had panicked. She remembered Ron's look of distaste and the things he had said to her when he had seen her return to the castle with the potions master floating unconscious beside her. If Ron had known then how Severus would completely wreck everything between him and Hermione, the redhead would probably have finished the older man off without a second thought or swept Hermione away and refused to let her become Severus' nurse.
In a way her relationship with Severus was Ron's fault; if Ron had only kept his temper when Hermione was Severus' caregiver, they wouldn't originally have split up. If that was the case then she would have cared about whether Severus lived or died but she would never have loved him. It was Ron who had pushed her away and it was because of his actions that she had come to find solace in another man. If Ron had never sent Hermione the letter containing the false news about Lavender and all of the unkind things about Hermione, she would never have fled down to the dungeons and blindly run into Severus. If she had never run into him then she wouldn't have remembered his scent and how it captivated her. And if that had never happened she would probably never have given the hard, cruel potions master a second thought.
She wondered what it was that had brought Severus to love her. He was rarely grateful to anyone for anything, and she knew that he had not loved her when she was caring for him, staying at his bedside at all times while he was dying because of the dark mark. He had said that his love for her began shortly after her birthday, but then he would have at least started to discover his own feelings some time before then, just as she had. Even if she and Ron had never split up, Hermione wondered whether Severus would have come to love her. She knew that whether he loved her or not he would never have told her or anyone else about it. It had taken him long enough to accept that he wasn't really protecting her by denying her his love when she had admitted to loving him. There was no way he would have made his love known if she hadn't openly felt the same way, and especially if she belonged to another man.
Hermione sighed and turned away from the room, entering the tunnel again and leaving the place, not wanting to linger too long. She would be late for Lunch if she waited much longer, so she moved hurriedly from the whomping willow towards the school. Most of the students were still out playing in the snow, willing to be a bit late to the meal in order to have just a few extra moments outdoors.
She entered the Great Hall and made her way to her seat at the staff table, where most of the staff was waiting. Quite a few students came into the hall and seated themselves, and soon enough it was full of noise. Silence fell as McGonagall rose and announced that those of them with permission slips could go to Hogsmeade that night for the last time this term, and then she clapped her hands and food appeared on every table.
Hermione was surprised when Severus turned her way and asked, "Did you enjoy your time outdoors?"
She looked up at him and nodded, smiling. "It was nice." But she didn't elaborate. She could tell that he knew where she had gone and waited for him to ask something more, but he looked back to his food and focused on that rather than her.
She turned back to her own food and enjoyed the way that it seemed to warm her from the inside out. She hadn't realized just how cold she had gotten while in the shrieking shack.
After the meal Hermione watched the students leaving the Great Hall for a moment before she herself stood. She was surprised when Severus did the same, and smiled at him questioningly. He only offered his arm in response, which she took, wondering as they walked away from the staff table what he was thinking and where they were going.
She lost interest in where they were walking and her thoughts drifted to classes and students. There wasn't very long before all of the students would be taking their end of the year exams and the older students would be taking OWLs or NEWTs. Hermione was excited to be the teacher and not the student during a test for once, and wondered what it would be like.
She came out of her thoughts and looked up at Severus, as they were still walking. "Where are we going?" she asked.
Severus looked down into those bright, shining eyes. Was it really the best idea that he bring this up now? She seemed to have her mind on other things . . .
His thoughts were cut off when she stopped walking, clinging to his arm and bringing him to a stop beside her. "Severus?" she asked.
He glanced past her and turned his head to see around them. Yes, this would do; there was no one in the corridor but the portraits in their frames, and they didn't seem to care at all that there were two teachers in their corridor. "It has occurred to me," he said, looking into her eyes and at last deciding it was necessary to talk about this now, before she was busy with students once more, "that while you did agree to become my wife, there was never a certain date set as to when that would happen."
Hermione felt her breath catch in her throat. So this was why he had brought her wandering aimlessly through the school, looking for an empty corridor? She nodded mutely to him. At last she found her voice. "We never did decide on a date," she agreed.
Severus watched her face, remembering what had led him to ask her to marry him in the first place. He smirked at the thrilled expression she was wearing and asked, "I believe most women favor one season over the others?"
Hermione smiled. "I prefer the short amount of time when spring is ending and summer is beginning."
He nodded, though the smirk faded. "May or June, then?"
She bit her lip, smiling wider. "Yes, I think so. The end of May or the beginning of June."
He inclined his chin, nodding once. "And was there a particular place that you would-"
"Here," she interrupted his question with the answer before he'd even finished asking.
He raised his eyebrows. "Here?"
Hermione bit her lip again, causing him to frown. "Yes, here."
His brow was still creased. "And why here?"
She stopped biting her lip though she was thinking hard. How could she put into words the deep connection she felt to the school? It was where she'd met Harry and Ron, where they had become the two most important people in her life. It was where she had learned magic and gotten her education. It was where she had spent countless hours having fun, making trouble with her two friends, breaking rules, studying, scolding, and feeling terrified. It was here that she had first met Severus, and while she had hated him back then, she loved him at the present. It was here that she had returned and become his nurse, which led to her loving him. The school was so much more than a castle, so much more than a heap of bricks and wood and things, so much more than just a building. It was part of who she was today, part of what had made her who she had become.
She took a deep breath, struggling to put into words the things she had just thought. But she didn't know how closely Severus was watching her expressions, and that somehow he read everything she was feeling on her face, in her eyes. He knew what she felt for the school, and why it was so important to her that yet another great memory be made there and not somewhere else. She looked up into his eyes, her mouth open though no words came out, still trying to explain. But he shook his head and lifted a hand to keep her from speaking.
"I understand," he said.
She didn't smile, but showed how grateful she was with her eyes, using them to smile and tell him how pleased and relieved she was that he understood without her having to say anything. She got the strong feeling that he would have leaned down to kiss her, but then both of them became aware that they were in a public corridor and it was not something they were allowed to do. Instead, Severus offered her his arm and they began walking back the way they had come.
As they did, he said, "You may choose whatever date you like for the wedding, and though I want it to be the way you like, I ask that you invite only so many."
Hermione smiled and nodded. "Of course. And thank you for letting me choose."
He nodded once, and when she had looked away he turned and looked down at her. Her curls bounced even though she wasn't walking very quickly, and she had a lovely ghost of a smile on her lips. He wanted her wedding day to be everything she had ever dreamed of, and he smirked, knowing that she would never have chosen very many guests anyways for his sake, whether he'd asked her to or not.
Hermione convinced him to come outside with her, but as soon as she gazed at the snow with a girlish look on her face he pulled his arm gently out of her grasp and stepped back. He knew she was longing to make a snowball and throw it his way, but she took a deep breath, shoulders heaving and then sagging as she did, before she straightened and turned back to him, taking two quick, graceful steps through the snow and taking his arm again. "I won't," she said, seeing the still-distrustful look on his face.
He looked so uncomfortable, and was definitely not as contented to watch the students playing in the snow as she was, she almost laughed at his expression. Clouds had covered the sky and large snowflakes had started to fall, and she watched the children, failing to notice that Severus' attention was on her. He had never like the cold, and not had any appreciation for the beauty of snow, but he watched as the large flakes of snow tumbled slowly through the air and landed lightly in Hermione's hair or on her face. Where they hit her skin, they melted, but they stayed cold and white in her curly hair.
He found himself marveling at her beauty again, and wondering with a certain thrill filling him how it was that such a lovely young woman could want him. But he wasn't questioning her sanity in the decision, or hating himself for ruining her life. Rather, he had come to accept that she loved him for who he was and that it was no use to think that he wasn't good enough for her, because she would never accept that. Instead, as he watched her he thought over everything they had been through together. If she had seen his cold, hard side rather than the loving or the kind so many times and yet she could still love him and be willing to pledge herself to him, link herself to him legally, forever, in marriage, didn't that mean that there must be something in him worth loving still?
She felt his eyes on her and turned, looking up at him. Her grip on his arm tightened just a bit, squeezing him lightly. Her eyes sparkled and the slow-falling snow around them reflected in them, looking brilliant. Severus stared into her eyes, and she into his. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, and he smirked at her before turning suddenly and pulling her out of the way in time for the ball of snow that flew through the air to miss her. It was almost as if they were back in Saint Mungo's during the chaotic mess just inside the entrance, the way he had helped her dodge an attack.
Hermione turned her attention away from Severus and saw Ginny scolding two Slytherin first years that were looking crestfallen that their target had moved in time to avoid the snowball. Severus raised an eyebrow when Hermione let go of his arm and dropped to her knees, scooping up an armful of snow and beginning to make snowballs of her own. He walked a few paces away and leaned against a tree, watching with amusement as Hermione moved her pile of neatly-made snowballs behind a bush for cover as the two Slytherins hid behind a tree and made their own ammunition.
Severus watched as multiple students took sides, Ginny among those that ran to crouch behind the bush with Hermione. They started making more snowballs as those who had sided with the enemies did the same behind multiple trees a short ways away.
A large snowball fight commenced and there was snow flying back and forth, seemingly in all directions through the air. Sometimes the snowballs found their marks, but most of them fell short or were aimed just a bit off. Hermione and her team of students were better than the others and faster at making snowballs, so they won in the end. However, nearly all of them were covered in snow.
Hermione stood up when it was over, her students running around whooping and hollering in victory while most of the other team grinned in acceptance of their defeat. The two original Slytherins and a few of their companions looked rather sour, but they stomped off and left the rest of them celebrating whether they'd won or lost. All of those left remaining seemed positively thrilled that a teacher had joined them in the snow and whether they had been on her team or not they all seemed to be beaming about it.
When Hermione made her way to Severus and the students dispersed, she was beaming as her students had been. He reached up and plucked a large chunk of snowball from her hair, tossing it aside and smirking at her. She was very tempted to make a quick snowball and throw it at him or at least smash it over his head, but knew better, so she refrained. He offered her his arm and they walked back to the school together.
Inside, Hermione was telling Neville about the snowball fight and he was frowning and smiling at intervals; he was happy that she had enjoyed herself but wished that he had known so that he could participate.
Later in the evening most of the students and several of the staff left for Hogsmeade, Hermione and Severus among them. Hermione didn't ask where they were going, and was pleased when he led her to the Three Broomsticks. They found a seat in a corner and Hermione remembered the last time they had been there; she had been carefully counting heads because Rookwood was still on the loose and there had still been daily dangers and precautions that must be taken. Now she just smiled in the direction of a table of students and turned her attention to Madam Rosmerta when she came to ask what they wanted.
Not long after that she and Severus were enjoying a light argument about potions and the best approach to teaching any class, sipping their butterbeers. Hermione secretly marveled at the fact that Severus was actually drinking butterbeer every time that he brought it to his lips. She would never have guessed when she was a student that he even had a favorite food or drink, or that he tasted food at all. He had seemed so foul and cold back then, she smiled at what a different light she saw him in now.
Back in the castle, late at night, she curled up in bed after turning out the lights with her wand. She smiled, stroking Crookshanks in the dark before she put an arm around him and drifted off. In only a matter of months, she would be married.
All right, I know this one is short but I have been super busy lately which is why I haven't had time to update! The next chapter will hold some nice things (perhaps someone's wedding, but I'm not positive yet) and I hope this will be enough to keep you guys interested and satisfied until then! Please, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear what you think of it so go ahead and leave a review if you have anything to say! I love you all! ~Taelr