Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter.

Hi all! I'm back from a weekend of being busy with friends. Sorry for not updating, but I'm back now. Thanks to all for the reviews, and thanks also for your understanding about Cedric. I love him too, and I hated killing him off. But it had to be done for the story to advance.

To the one reviewer who thinks Harry isn't justified in acting emo, I'm sorry, but I have to respectfully disagree. He's a 14-year-old boy whose life has been completely turned upside down. He's just seen his best friend murdered right in front of his eyes, and he was helpless to do anything about it. Then he's told that there's a prophecy about him and his parents died protecting him. You said that he should be honoring their sacrifice instead of going on about how it's his fault, but he only just found out! This is a boy who didn't know the meaning of love and friendship for the first eleven years of his life. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon blamed him for stuff that wasn't his fault all the time, and now that he believes that something really is his fault, of course he's going to blame himself. And as far as him bursting into tears when he's in a fight situation? Again, he's not a hardened soldier, he's a sensitive teenage boy who's just watched the brother he never had get brutally murdered. If I were in his position, I'd be crying too!

Okay, please enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 39: Grief and Guilt

The moment Harry, Cedric, and Moody disappeared, everyone knew something was wrong. Muttering arose in the stands, and as the minutes passed, it grew to chaos. Sirius and Remus went over to Dumbledore, Sirius looking furious.

"Dumbledore, what the bloody hell is going on!" he screamed through the hubbub. "Where is my godson?"

Dumbledore, looking stricken, only shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted.

"We have to look for him, Albus," said Remus shakily, while Sirius hopped up and down on the spot.

"I should have known something like this was going to happen!" Sirius roared.

"Dammit, where's my son?" came another angry voice. Mr. Diggory was now at Dumbledore's side as well, clasping his wife's hand. Eileen Diggory had terror in her eyes.

More minutes passed, with the two boys and their professor still not returning. Dumbledore said that if they didn't come back soon, he was going to go back inside the school to try and contact Severus Snape. If anyone might know where the three had disappeared to, he might. A few days prior, he'd had to leave the school because he came down with a case of the wizarding flu. You would think that a person like Snape would never get ill, but even greasy gits like him got the flu.

"If you're going to contact Snivellus, that means there's no hope whatsoever!" Sirius fumed. "Leave it to him to get sick when we need him the most!"

So all they could do was wait. Sirius and Remus grew more and more agitated as the minutes passed.

THUMP!

Suddenly, Harry and Cedric materialized at the entrance to the maze. But Alastor Moody wasn't with them. People started piling out of the stands, running onto the field. A sobbing Cho Chang, along with a terrified bunch of Gryffindors which included Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, were the first to reach their side, along with Sirius and Remus. They immediately knew something was terribly, horrifically wrong, for Harry was crying, wailing, clutching on to Cedric for dear life. Cedric lay limply on the ground, gray eyes staring glassily up into the sky, and he wasn't moving.

"Harry! Harry! Kiddo, what's wrong?" Sirius cried frantically as he ran over and put his hand on Harry's shaking shoulder.

"Cedric ... Cedric ... I tried ''' to save Cedric ..." Harry gasped out between sobs, still clutching on to his friend. "Voldemort ... he's back! I tried ... to stop it ... but he ... but he ... killed Cedric!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Cho Chang screamed, bursting into hysterical sobs. Mr. Diggory's mouth hung open, and Mrs. Diggory collapsed to her knees beside the fallen Cedric.

"What do you mean, You-Know-Who killed Cedric?" Cho screamed. "Is this some kind of a joke?" This was her worst fears coming to fruition in the worst way possible.

Harry looked at her, sorrow in his green eyes. Cedric's eyes continued to gaze up at the sky. Cho collapsed beside her fallen love, clasping his hand as tightly as she possibly could. She looked into his staring eyes and pleaded with him to wake up, to do anything. "Look at me, please, love, look at me! Please, tell me what's wrong!" she screamed. Ginny and the others stood frozen. More people ran out onto the field, and Cornelius Fudge was next to reach them. He went over to Cedric and felt for a pulse.

"My God, Dumbledore!" he cried, his mouth gaping open in shock. "Potter's alive, but Diggory's dead!"

The news was passed around from person to person, and pretty soon everyone in the stands was yelling "Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Cedric Diggory! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!"

"Harry, let him go," Dumbledore said sorrowfully, going over to Harry. He and the others also noticed that Harry's arm was bleeding profusely from a horrible-looking cut.

"No!" Harry yelled. "No, I won't!"

It was a heartwrenching scene. Cho was still screaming and sobbing, pointing her wand at her boyfriend and screaming "Enervate! Enervate!" over and over again, but nothing was happening. Mr. Diggory was at Cedric's side, screaming his son's name along with howls of "THAT's MY SON! NOOOOOO! MY BOY! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mrs. Diggory was choking on her tears, stroking Cedric's still face as though love could bring him back.

"Harry, where's Alastor?" Dumbledore asked through the endless commotion, trying to loosen Harry's grip on Cedric. "Where's Professor Moody?"

"That ... wasn't ... Professor ... Moody!" Harry cried hysterically. "It was ... Barty ... Crouch ... Jr!"

Sirius gave Dumbledore a menacing look. He had never felt so angry in his life. This had happened right under Dumbledore's nose, and the old wizard hadn't known a thing. One of Harry's best friends had been murdered right in front of him, he could just tell. And Harry had escaped from being murdered as well. He was too shocked to speak as he glowered at the Headmaster with pure rage in his gray eyes.

Finally, Dumbledore removed Cedric from Harry's grip. Mr. Diggory picked up his son, holding him in his arms and still wailing. "All students, please go inside the school!" Dumbledore bellowed. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He was not infallible as people thought; how was he supposed to handle this? How was he going to console the Diggorys? He could see agonizing guilt and grief on Harry's face. This boy should have never had to deal with such a burden.

"Shhhh, Harry, it's all right now," Sirius said gently, his face softening as he turned to Harry. Remus quickly incanted a healing spell, and Harry's arm mended itself. Sirius then picked up his godson and began to carry him into the school. Dumbledore said something to Fudge, who reluctantly nodded. He and Remus then walked beside Sirius and Harry, their hearts heavy. Harry's friends tried to come with them, but Dumbledore held them back. They were clinging to each other, with Cho still inconsolable, and Neville, Ginny, and Hermione also weeping. Ron just stood there with his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

Dumbledore said something to Hermione, who nodded solemnly. She knew Harry was in too much of a state to speak at the moment, so through her tears, she begged the others not to bother Harry. Cho yelled and screamed at her, "I need answers! I need to know why my Cedric is dead!" Her knees gave out from under her, and she fell to the floor, tears continuing to stream down her cheeks. Madame Pomfrey came running, and gently picked Cho up in her arms. Cho kicked and wailed, screaming Cedric's name, but the matron never loosened her grip and began to carry her back inside the school. Hermione stared after her, a grief-stricken look on her face. She told the others that Dumbledore would let them know what had happened to Harry and Cedric later on.

"No, I'm coming with them!" Ron howled, his face as red as his hair. But Hermione gave him the fiercest look she had ever given him.

"Harry needs his guardians right now, Ronald," she snapped. "We're not going to be any help to him. A devastating tragedy's just happened."

"That's why we need to be there for him!" Ron shouted right back.

"Ron, just listen to Hermione, would you?" shrieked Ginny. She and Hermione grabbed Ron's arms and marched him away from Harry, Sirius, Remus, and Dumbledore.

"Why are you following us, old fool?" Sirius said angrily to Dumbledore.

"Sirius, he needs to know what happened," Remus tried.

"Like hell he does!" Sirius roared. Dumbledore looked older than he had in years. Sirius wanted to punch his lights out. He had no right to look like that. He hadn't even bothered to start searching for Harry while he was being tossed into this catastrophe.

The Diggorys disappeared inside the school, Mr. Diggory still holding his precious Cedric, wailing over his lifeless body, Mrs. Diggory still looking shocked and numb. Dumbledore told them he'd be at the hospital wing in a minute, he just needed to find out the facts from Harry.

Remus stroked Harry's back while Sirius continued to carry his sobbing bundle of a godson. All the while, Harry was muttering words like "I killed him ... it's my fault he's dead! My parents ... my parents ..." He was not responding to any of the comfort his guardians were trying to bestow upon him.

When they reached Dumbledore's office, all was quiet except for Harry's racking sobs. Sirius sat on a couch Dumbledore conjured, rocking his godson back and forth. Remus sat next to him, stroking Harry's hair. Dumbledore went to a drawer behind his desk and got out a vial. He went over to Sirius and said, "I know you're furious with me right now, Sirius, but it will be in Harry's best interests that you give him this potion. It's a calming draught."

"Open your mouth, kiddo," Sirius said gently. Harry was still too overwhelmed to respond, and Sirius looked to Remus helplessly. After a few seconds, the two gently held his mouth open and helped him drink the potion. Harry choked on some of it, but there was quite a bit that did go down.

It took a few minutes for Harry's sobs to subside. But once they did, he didn't look any better. His eyes had a faraway, haunted look in them, and they were dull. He was still shaking violently in Sirius's arms, while the black-haired man continued to lovingly rock him back and forth.

"Harry," Dumbledore said softly. "What happened, my boy?"

Harry looked at Dumbledore, not wanting to answer. How could he say that touching the cup with Cedric had led his friend right to his death? Seeing Cho screaming, crying, and his friends looking so shocked, had broken him. He knew they'd react like that. Now he'd not only lost one friend, but two. He knew Cho would never be able to talk to him again, and he didn't blame her in the slightest.

"Perhaps it would be better," said Sirius angrily, "if you just shut your mouth, Dumbledore. Do you think Harry wants to talk about what happened?"

Sirius's furious voice only caused Harry to recoil and shake harder, and the man felt truly terrible. He whispered soothing words in Harry's ear while Remus gave his best friend a fierce look.

Harry didn't want to talk about it at all. But knowing Dumbledore needed to know what had happened, he put his wand to his temple and removed a silvery strand of memory. Through his grief and numbness, he seemed to be doing this on autopilot. Dumbledore got out a vial and collected the strand, putting it into his Pensieve. Then he put his head inside it.

Emotions played across the old man's face as he watched what Harry had been through. Agonizing guilt and regret churned inside him as he witnessed the entire confrontation. A pang of desperate sadness squeezed his heart as he heard Crouch speak of his old friend Alastor's death, and a great feeling of self-disgust swept over him as he realized, with a humungous jolt, that he'd been fooled all year. His students, his precious children, had been taught by a vicious, murdering Death Eater the entire year. How could he not have realized that Moody wasn't Moody? he thought, tears filling his eyes. More sorrow entered him as he watched how brave Cedric had been, standing up to Voldemort and fighting for Harry. He actually did weep as he watched Cedric fall, one of the brightest and most helpful students to ever grace the halls of his school. He watched how Harry struggled, and how he demanded to fight Voldemort as well. He could see the desperation in the boy's emerald green eyes as he wished to die like he had just seen his big brother do. He watched as Voldemort cruelly told Harry about Severus revealing the first half of the prophecy.

Then, he saw what had happened with the two wands. Aha, he thought. Priori Incantatem. Brother wands. Another wave of misery swooped over him as he saw Harry's interactions with Cedric, Frank Bryce, Bertha Jorkins, and his parents. His parents, which Dumbledore had also failed because he didn't realize Peter Pettigrew was going behind their backs and betraying them.

Needless to say, as he exited the Pensieve at the end, his face was full of emotion. Motioning to Remus and looking at him intently, he beckoned for the werewolf to go next.

Harry was still snuggled up in Sirius's arms, face still buried in his godfather's robes. Remus felt awful as he witnessed what his cub had been through. All he could do was look on helplessly as Peter hurt him. He watched numbly as Cedric fought and fell. Anger and shock filled him as he learned Severus Snape was the one who had given the prophecy to Voldemort. Albus had never told him. He knew Sirius would be livid when he found this out, and would definitely confront Albus on it.

Remus's mouth gaped open as he saw the Priori Incantatem occur. For one moment, he'd gotten to see Lily and James again. Lily and James had helped and been there for Harry, even in death. His heart cracked when James mentioned to Harry to give him the message that Julia said she was sorry. When he came out of the memory, he had tears in his eyes.

Harry was then moved from Sirius's arms to Remus's, as Sirius was the last one to see the memory. Sirius felt incredible fury and revulsion as he saw his despicable cousin Bellatrix taunt Harry, speaking in that stupid baby voice she always used. The urge to kill Peter was extremely violent as he saw his once best friend cut Harry's arm, and use his blood to help make his evil master stronger. His heart bled for Harry through the entire memory, especially the part when Cedric went down fighting.

Hatred and fury roiled in Sirius's gut as he learned of the truth about Severus Snape. A recklessness seized him, a desire to kill the greasy bastard just like he'd wanted to kill Peter. Snape had sent his best friends to their deaths. And Dumbledore! Sirius had a right mind to pull his godson right out of Hogwarts. Dumbledore had let Snape, the man who had condemned Harry to a life of no parents, teach him for four solid years! He'd never hated the Headmaster so much in his entire life.

Then, what took his breath away was the sight of Voldemort casting Avada Kedavra on Harry, and then the Priori Incantatem. And there, right in front of him, were Lily and James. Now he knew what Harry had meant when he was muttering about his parents. For a moment, he could feel nothing but pure and raw jealousy. Harry had gotten to interact with Lily and James, even though it was only brief. How he wished he had been there too, just to be able to talk to them one last time. He collapsed to his knees upon the ground when Adelina was mentioned, and when James said that he didn't blame him for what happened all those years ago. He was shaking as he came out of the memory, and he collapsed back onto the sofa. "So, Albus," he said quietly, his eyes practically bulging with hatred. "I simply do not believe this. How could you? How the fuck could you make Harry be in the same building as the man who practically killed his parents with his own hands?"

Harry looked at his guardians in shock. "You didn't know it was him?" he whispered brokenly.

"No, because this stupid old man never told us," Sirius snarled.

"Sirius," Dumbledore said quietly. "Just stop and think for a minute. Why do you think I didn't tell you it was Severus who informed Voldemort of the prophecy? I know you very well, and your hatred for Severus Snape reached a terrible height before. I was afraid you'd do something rash if you knew it had been him. That is one regret that Severus has had ever since then, that he condemned Lily and James to death. That is why I trust him so much; the fact that he felt such remorse shows how much he wanted redemption."

Remus picked up Harry and carried him out of the room, knowing that Sirius was about to get into a screaming match with the Headmaster. He didn't want Harry to witness this. "Room of Requirement," he mouthed to his friend before leaving. He carried his adopted son to the Room of Requirement, and he sat down still with him in his arms.

Harry gazed at Remus, a look of hurt and betrayal on his young face. He'd almost forgotten about the whole Sirius and Remus not informing him about the prophecy mess; he'd been so caught up in seeing his parents and watching Cedric die. But now it came back with terrible clarity. "How could you, Remus?" he whispered, breaking free of Remus's hold. "How could you not tell me about the prophecy?"

"Gods, I don't know what to say," Remus said, trying to make eye contact, but Harry kept stubbornly looking to the floor. "Albus thought you were too young to know."

"Too young to know that I probably have to defeat Voldemort?" Harry said bitterly, more tears stinging his eyes. "And you agreed with him, didn't you? You agreed that I was too young to know something about my own life! I was too young to know my parents died just because of me! And you know what? Voldemort made Cedric suffer because I didn't know the prophecy! He tortured him, Remus!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "And I never want to see Snape again, even if Dumbledore does trust him!"

"Harry ..." Remus tried, but Harry didn't listen.

"I don't want to hear it!" he cried. "What does the prophecy say, Remus? I want to know! I want to know why my parents died, I want to know why Voldemort's bloody obsessed with me, I WANT TO KNOW WHY I HAD TO WATCH MY BEST FRIEND DIE TONIGHT!"

"Harry, cub ..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"I'm sorry, Harry, but I don't know the prophecy. Lily, James, Frank and Alice Longbottom, and Dumbledore are the only ones who know it in its entirety. They didn't tell us because they wanted to protect us. They didn't want there to be any possibility of Voldemort getting the information from us."

"Then I want Dumbledore to tell me!" Harry sobbed. "And Cedric died because of me! Cho will never speak to me again! What if I end up in Azkaban? The Ministry will think I killed him, won't they?"

"No, of course not!" Remus cried, shocked that Harry would think such a thing. "Why would you even think something like that? I know it's been a terrible, horrific night for you, but Cedric didn't die because of you. It's a shocking tragedy, but it wasn't your fault. And your parents didn't die because of you. I know you don't want to hear it right now, and you won't accept it, but I hope that in time you'll come to realize. And don't even think for a minute that Cedric suffered because you didn't know the prophecy. You know very well that Voldemort would have hurt him anyway. He's evil, Harry. He'll put ideas in your head to make you believe certain things, but I beg you to trust me that those things aren't true. I know you're angry and feeling betrayed by Sirius and I right now, and I don't blame you for feeling that way. But we didn't want to burden you with ..."

"Yeah, like I'm not already a burden," Harry interrupted. "Perhaps it would have been better if I was never born. Then Cedric would still be alive, his parents and Cho would still be happy, and my parents would still be alive! It's my fault, all my fault! I thought I could trust Dumbledore, Sirius, and you, Remus! I thought ..." Burying his face in the soft cushions of the couch, his body heaved up and down with uncontrollable sobs again. Remus tried to take him into his arms, but Harry struggled and yelled, "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" Sadness, regret, and shame poured over Remus as he saw how absolutely betrayed his cub was. Harry was right; he should have been told something about his own life.

Eventually, Harry's struggles subsided and Remus managed to embrace him again. Saying Cedric's name in a broken voice over and over again, Harry cried himself to sleep.

xxx

Back in Dumbledore's office, Sirius had no compunctions anymore to keep himself quiet. He put a Silencing Charm on the room and bellowed at Dumbledore, "Bullshit! You let that monster be in the same room with my godson for four years, what the fuck were you thinking, you bastard? I have a right mind to pull Harry straight out of Hogwarts and away from your evil machinations! You've destroyed him, Albus! No, don't say anything to me! He won't come back to Hogwarts unless he specifically tells us he wants to come back. Remus and I are taking him home tonight, this is the last you'll be seeing of him this year. And by next September, if he wants to return, I want Severus Snape gone. If he isn't, I swear I'll kill him. Now Harry thinks his parents and Cedric died because of him. And you were the one who implored that Remus and I not tell about the prophecy, you practically forced us to agree with you! Now he doesn't trust us anymore, and it's all your fault! And how could you not have realized that Moody was Crouch, you senile twit? My godson was taught by a Death Eater all year! A FUCKING DEATH EATER! And according to what little information I could glean from Harry's memory, Crouch hurt Harry earlier in the year and somehow made him forget about it! I am sure I will be seeing the memory of that soon enough. How could you let things like this go on in your school, Dumbledore? And we almost lost him! If he and Voldemort didn't have brother wands, Harry would have died!" Anger radiating off him in waves, he pointed his wand at Dumbledore, yelling, "Furnunculus!" Boils sprang up all over Dumbledore's face, but the Headmaster did nothing to reprimand the broken Azkaban escapee. Filled with crushing guilt, he watched as Sirius stormed out of the office, ready to join Remus and take Harry home. Everything Sirius said had been true; Dumbledore was getting way too old for this. He thought the Furnunculus Curse was much less than what he deserved.

And when he indeed found the corpse of his dear friend Alastor Moody, with half of his hair cut off, inside the ex-Auror's magical trunk, it was too much to take. Holding Moody close to him, he whispered, "I'm so sorry, old friend." and fell to his knees, tears streaming down his old, wrinkled face.