Who Dares to Love? Chapter Two by patricia51

(Interviews)

(Katniss)

I stand in my gorgeous red gown watching the line shorten tribute by tribute in front of me while teetering slightly on my heels. As much as Effie drives me crazy I'm glad she insisted I practice in those ridiculously high ones. It makes these shorter ones that Cinna chose almost easy to get around in. But I'm glad that these are not a staple item of wear in District Twelve.

Glimmer is pretty. Nice legs. I sigh a little to myself. She certainly doesn't have any trouble walking in heels. Strutting is more like it. I can see why Clove admits Glimmer is usually her type. And even though I know that Clove DID have sex with the blonde tribute the other night I amazingly don't care. I'm not jealous. I'm not. I already know why she did. Clove was trying to deny what had already happened between us. And she failed. She admitted it to me.

This is so unbelievably confusing. Life and death on the line and no matter what is taking place my thoughts go to Clove. I can't stop thinking about her; wanting to touch her, to feel her against me. What will happen in the arena when that that happens? I'm in love and because of that I could die, break my promise to Prim because I don't focus on the dangers around me. I HAVE to concentrate.

And there she goes on to the stage. I nearly giggled a few moments ago watching her; her arms folded across her breasts, her face frozen in an expression that fairly shouted "I am SO bored with this crap! But then the moment her name is called her expression changes to sweet eagerness and she charms Caesar Flickerman and the audience alike.

She's already charmed me. Tonight the tough beautiful girl has been replaced by a gorgeous sophisticated woman. She's mouth-watering in a light kind of orange dress that falls to her feet but leaves her shoulders and arms bare and giving just a hint of the swell of the small firm breasts I know are hidden there. Her hair is piled on top of her head except for the long part usually draped down her back in a braid. Tonight it s gathered but loose and flows over her shoulder as though pointing the way to the rest of her body.

A vagrant thought crosses my mind. I wonder if she's wearing underclothes. I'm not. Cinna insisted they would break the flow of the dress I'm wearing. I trust him completely. It's not like he's trying to get me in bed. But a grin touches my lips as I consider how it might affect someone who is. Or has.

Caesar kisses Clove's hand and she is escorted from the stage in the other direction. She doesn't look back, at me at anyone. But I could see that she wanted to, I saw her slow down and her head start to turn this way but she stopped herself. Do I already know her that well? Or am I putting my thoughts into her actions or lack of them?

I manage to tear myself away from thoughts of Clove to watch the line shrink in front of me. I make mental notes about my fellow tributes. The redhead from District Five is cute. I missed her name. Well I won't be wooing her anyway. Tonight is the end of the training period. Tomorrow we go to the arena. Me and Clove. God I have got to stop thinking about her. Concentrate Katniss.

I go back to waiting, to thinking, to try to keep my mind from my turn up there except to recall Cinna's instructions to act like I'm talking to him and to be honest. I spend the rest of the time marveling at what's happened to me in the last few days. And for once that's has nothing to do with the Reaping or Prim or my volunteering or any of that. It all has to do with an irresistible urge after the first day of training. An irresistible urge called Clove.

My mind reels when I think of that night. Sure I've been attracted to other girls before. I've had a crush on Madge Undersee since I don't know when. Of course I've had a crush on Gale almost as long but that's neither here nor there. Well at least not now. All of that is another world right now. Maybe I'll have the opportunity to figure that world out. Maybe not.

I'm so immersed in my thoughts it comes as a surprise when Caesar calls for me. "The Girl of Fire!" he shouts and I am thrust out onto the stage. I wonder if she is watching?

I do my best.
I find Cinna and answer the questions as though I was talking to him. I catch the hint from him and twirl, showing off the most elegant thing I will ever own. Unless of course I actually win the Games. Unlikely I know. Then that thought is pushed aside. Is she watching me?

Caesar leads me to talk about Prim and now I feel like perhaps I have finally touched the audience. That's good, touching them means sponsors. And I'm doing it by following Cinna's advice. I'm being myself. I hope that's going over well. With everyone.

I linger after my time is up and watch Peeta. He's good, funny, interesting. He'll draw a lot of sponsors. Caesar asks him about having a girl and he rather stammers about the subject and then about the girl of his dreams. A slight smile tugs at my lips. I know perfectly well he's had a monumental crush on Madge since our first days in school, a crush that dwarfs mine on her. He's forever following her with his eyes. I don't think he's ever managed to get up the nerve to speak to her. Now I wish he had. Because I know something he doesn't. She watches him too. A lot. It really put a crimp in any plans I might have ever been able to come up with to act on my own crush.

I sigh to myself. This just makes things even more confusing. Although Peeta has consistently underestimated himself I know he's very strong and his ability at camouflage is extraordinary. My hopes had been that if I died in the Games that perhaps he would win. If nothing else to remind his father that he promised to make sure Prim has enough to eat. No, I don't need to worry about that. Mister Mellark promised; he'll deliver. But I know Peeta would help too.

Now I think about a certain Career Tribute who actually DOES have a chance to survive this. If I fall, a very likely scenario I have to admit no matter what my promise to Prim, would my last hope be that she wins it? A chill runs through me. What if it ends up being just us? Either combination. Could I kill Peeta? Could I kill Clove? I dismiss the second thought with a snort that obviously is audible given that everyone around me looks at me. As if I'm any match for Clove. But then again, if I had a bow... I let the thought trail off.

I'm almost startled when I realize that the whole thing is over and we're being escorted back to the Tribute building. I walk slowly, darting glances around when I think I can get away with it unnoticed. There's no sign of her. I have no idea what I would say, what I would do, if I did see her.

Since that first night there hasn't been any chance to be with her. There hasn't been any chance to talk to her. Our mentors and the trainers and escorts have been taking up all of our time. That's hardly surprising. After all, it's their job, their duty to look after us and try somehow to help keep us alive. There's been no chance for me to slip away in the wild possibility she might be able to do it as well at the same time regardless of the fact we've had no communication. And it's not as if I can say "Gee I appreciate everything but can I have a little 'me time' so I can try to hook up again with this Career girl from District Two that I think I might be falling in love with?"

The whole group has gathered but it's not too long before an early night is announced. Once in my room I take my time getting out of my dress. I take it off slowly, inch by inch with my eyes closed. That way I can dream that my hands are actually hers, that she is undressing me. I keep them closed as I stretch out on the bed. Now it's her turn, now my hands are running up and down those bare shoulders and arms, that elegant neck. I can almost feel my arms around her, teasing her by playing with the bow on the front of her dress before untying it bit by bit until the orange fabric falls away and I see that she too skipped underclothes.

I hear noises out in the hallway and my roaming fingers stop what they have been doing. I spring from the bed and rummage for clothes. Just in time, for my modesty at least. The red-head Avox girl slips in. She takes the dress and hangs it up carefully while I slip into my soft loose yellow shirt that's just long enough to cover my butt and hide the dampness between my legs. She turns down the bed and I slide into it. For just a moment her hand touches mine and her eyes say "Good Luck". Then she is gone and I am alone.

Sleep. I need sleep desperately. There won't be much of it beginning tomorrow and every nod, every weary blink could be just the moment of inattention that gets me killed. It doesn't matter. I give up after a while. I snatch up a pair of black slacks, putting me in the same outfit I wore that first night I note to my own amusement. Once I am satisfied everyone in the suite is gone to bed I slip quietly up to the roof.

Peeta is there. Not a surprise, I'm sure he could no more sleep than I can. We talk for a while in hushed voices. I really am astounded at the depths he has. Maybe if things had been different he and I might have had a go of it. Of course that's neither here nor there now.

He stretches and tells me he'll see me in the morning. The door closes and now I m alone looking out of the twinkling lights of the Capitol. It's so beautiful but I know the darkness it masks and I hate it.

A throat clears behind me. Amazingly I don't even jump at the sound. Somehow I knew. I don't even need to turn around as she comes closer.

"I didn't think he would ever leave," Clove says.

"But he has," I reply and then we are in each other's arms.

(To be continued)