Who Dares to Love? Chapter Three by patricia51

(Up on the Roof)

(Clove)

It's been driving me crazy when I don't see her and when I do see her it drives me even crazier. I see her but I can't touch her. Touch her? I want to run across the room and grab her, crush her in my arms and never let her go. And I don't even care that the entire idea is insane on so many levels that it leaves me shaking from head to toe.

I've tried my best to stop this. Following that one incredible night with her, a night that touched me in places I didn't even know I had, I panicked. I had no choice. I was seeing years of training and preparation going down the drain because I found I was irresistibly drawn to another Tribute. I knew perfectly well it was the kind of distraction that could get me killed. So I tried my best to bury those awakening emotions.

I had a wild night of sex with Glimmer; another Career Tribute who understands it's all in the name of stress relief. Didn't help. I surveyed the other female tributes. The red-head from District Five looked fuckable but she's an amateur. They fall in love which is a definite burden when you know one or the other or both of you is going to die, perhaps even kill the other. So she was out. Instead I've used my fingers and been so incredibly out of my mind I almost considered asking Cato to give me a whirl. Yuck! It's really not that I hate guys; they just don t do anything for me. The couple of times I tried sex with them were the most boring nights in my life.

Speaking of Cato, he is one of the reasons that I've got to pull myself together. The other two reasons are Glimmer and Marvel. Cato is already giving me sideways looks. I know him; he's come near to asking me if something is wrong. And I can't afford that. I can't show any weaknesses and believe me among Careers like the four of us emotional involvement is considered a weakness.

Yes we know that sooner or later we'll have to settle the question of who is the best. We all plan to be that last one standing. But until that point is reached the four of us will be allied, a team covering each other. Most of the other Tributes are sheep and we're the wolves but not all of them are going to be pushovers. I don't want to get picked off by some frantic loser who barely knows which end of a knife to stick in my back because Cato or one of the other two isn't looking out for me because they think I've lost my edge. That would be embarrassing; as well as fatal. It would be even more so if their abandonment of me deliberately or one of them stabs me in the back in the first few minutes after the horn.

So I pull myself together and stop acting like a love-struck female, even though I know that's exactly what I am. A miserable love-struck female without any hope at all of getting the girl. I practice fiercely, swagger and intimidate the poor hapless chosen victims. And I try to keep my eyes fixed to the front.

But I can't. Damn it I can't. I have got to look, to see if she is looking at me. I have the need, the hunger for our eyes to meet so if only for an instant I can imagine that everything is somehow going to turn out just fine. And as often as not she IS looking back or her eyes turn to me when I glance at her and my heart leaps.

I've even come up with an excuse for when I get caught. She got an eleven I remind Cato. And we don't have any idea of how, of what deadly skill she has that so impressed the Game Makers. So we have to keep an eye on her. It seems to work.

Of course I really DO wonder how she got that score. Whatever it is she holds it in tight. She s always at the traps and snares or the other survival stations. I wish I knew. But of course I can't ask her. I wouldn't even if we were alone together. I don't want her to think that this is all some game to me to ferret out her secrets.

I do manage to keep my cool, mostly anyway. At least up till the final night and the interviews.

My orange dress, all frilly and satin and lace, makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I really don't mind dressing up and looking all girly, it's helped me to seduce more than one other girl who would be put off by a more obvious and butch lesbian. But I just don't feel like it now. I'd rather be in my training uniform or anything else comfortable. But I know the importance of this for gathering up sponsors so when my name is called I paste a bright smile on my face and go out to charm Caesar and the audience.

I think I succeed. Well enough anyway. SO I get off and now I have the perfect reason for waiting around, for waiting for her. It's important to see how the others measure up, what they say and what they do. We've been taught to pick up clues as to skills and hidden talents. But I'm really not paying attention to the others. I'm waiting for Katniss.

Oh my GOD there she is. I had always thought that the idea of your heart skipping a beat because of some incredible sight was just stupid but I was wrong. Mine didn't just skip one beat; it stopped.

I just drink her in. She's more gorgeous than I have even dreamed even in the middle of the night. Her long hair on top of her head and her slender body clad in a red sparkling dress that fits to every curve of her. I can barely stop myself from running out on to the stage and seizing her. She twirls and I am aroused just at the slight glimpse of her legs and the expression on her face.

Then she talks about her sister and something that has been growing inside of me crystalizes. I come to a decision and file it away in the deepest reaches of my soul. I won't tell it to anyone, not even her. But calmness settles over me and I know my decision is correct; for her and for me.

All too soon it's over and they guide us back to the tower. We have a late snack before bed. I catch Cato studying me and meet his stare with an upraised eyebrow. He smiles grimly.

"I don't know what just happened but it's good to have you back." I nod.

It's off to bed but of course sleep eludes me, no matter how clear my mind is now. Then I remember what we were told about the tower and its features and I spring from under the covers. Hastily I dress in loose exercise clothing and slip from the suite. I find the entrance to the stairs and start up them. Eleven flights are no problem at all for me especially in my mood now. I'm not breathing hard at all when I reach the top and crack open the door.

There's murmur of voices so I move as quietly as possible into the shadows. One is Katniss the other must be her fellow District Twelve Tribute. I can't remember his name right now. But I'm deeply grateful to him a few minutes later when he bids her goodnight and leaves. She remains, looking out at the city.

I approach on bare feet. "I didn't think he would ever leave," I say softly.

Somehow she must have known I was there. She doesn't start, she doesn't jump. She simply turns around.

"But he has."

It takes forever and yet no time at all and we are together, my mouth seeking hers. The kiss is everything, warm and soft and passionate and wanting all at the same time. It connects us, joins us, makes us one. It goes on and on and yet I find the breath and the time to whisper to her.

"I love you Katniss."

"I know." She takes my face in both hands, the rough work hardened palms incredibly gentle against my cheeks and showers little sweet kisses all over. "I love you too Clove."

"But..." I start to say.

"Shhhhhh," she cuts me off and there is all the wisdom and warmth in the world in her voice. "I know that too." She continues as though she can read my thoughts in my eyes that she searches with her own. "But tonight let it just be us."

Her lips shift from my face to the side of my neck. They explore my skin, dancing over my throat and then back again, settling over my hammering pulse point. Her hands slip under my top and lift. I hold my arms over my head, regretting the loss of her kisses even for the instant it takes for her to not only rid me of my top but of hers as well.

I fumble at her slacks. They give way and fall around her ankles. She steps out of them while giving a tug on mine. Now not even thin cloth prevents the molding of our bodies together as we sink to the floor, needing nothing more than our discarded clothing to pillow us.

The other night our unbelievable attraction was tempered by a need to be in charge, to be in control. Tonight the only thing that matters is to be with her, to make her happy, to hear her cries of joy and share them with me and give mine back to her. I hold her tight, as tightly as she holds me. The urgency we feel now is to lose ourselves in each other.

Fingers graze, nipples harden, breath becomes short. Hearts beat as one, her dampness grows and mine grows with it as she presses to me and I press to her. I tighten my grip on her firm taut bottom and she grips my shoulder blades with an intensity that feeds the fire burning in me. Kisses are frantic as I build, as my Katniss builds as we come together in one incredible fusion that blends us together as we both explode with orgasms that would shatter us if we didn't have each other as a cushion. We float away together on a sweet cloud that wraps us away from the rest of the world and keeps us safe.

But eventually we come back to earth. Even then her arms hold me in a way I have felt before. Before I can stop myself I blurt it out.

"I never knew it could be like this."

The beautiful girl beside me giggles. "Are you trying to tell me you ve never done this before?"

Unbelievably I blush. There's something else new! I laugh softly. Such a night of new experiences. I touch her cheek, barely grazing the smooth skin with my fingertips.

"Not THIS. I admit it Katniss, I ve had sex before, perhaps too much but," I grope for the words, "but this is new to me. Completely."

"How?" she asks softly.

"Because I've never made love before," I tell her. "And I've never been in love before."

We lie together quietly. The glow of the city drowns out the stars overhead but I, but we, know the hour grows late. Every second is precious but the time we have together is about gone. Finally we dress and come together one last time.

When she reaches the door to the stairs I speak to her once more.

"Katniss? No matter what you think you see beginning tomorrow I want you to trust me. And know that I love you. Now. Always. Forever."

(To be continued)