A/N: Written for QueenElizabeth3andCourtJeste r, I hope you like it. Takes place during Guilty Realisations. Enjoy!

Survivors Remorse

Lily's POV

I'd been hyper aware of the fact that Potter had been absent all day. I waited all morning for him to saunter into class, bragging to his friends about how he had managed to escape Prefect duty but he didn't go to any of his classes. At first I was annoyed when he didn't turn up for our first class of the day; I thought he was skiving off like he usually did.

When he finally entered the classroom for the last lesson, Transfiguration, I felt all of my anger slide away to be replaced with worry. Potter was incredibly pale and he seemed to be avoiding drawing any attention to himself. He wasn't acting anything like the ego-manic he normally was.

For the first time in my life, I didn't pay any attention to what was going on during the lesson. I spent the entire time turning around in my chair and trying to catch Potter's eye. It was annoying to find out that the one time I wanted Potter to talk to me was the one time he wanted to avoid me.

Eventually, with no other option left, I cornered him outside the classroom as soon as the bell went. McGonagall gave me a strange look; no doubt she had noticed by inattention to the lesson and thought I was acting weirdly. Potter gave me an alarmed look before grabbing my arm and dragging me into a passageway that I hadn't known existed.

"Where are we?" I questioned as soon as Potter faced me.

"Secret passageway," he muttered nervously. "It leads to Hogsmeade."

I glanced down the dark tunnel in surprise. It explained how Potter and his friends could sneak out of school if they knew about secret passageways. I dragged my thoughts back to the night before and spun around to look back at Potter.

"What happened last night?" I demanded. "First you ditched rounds, and then when I found you, you shouted at me to get inside?"

"Nothing," Potter avoided looking me in the eye and shifted awkwardly on the spot. "How did you find me?"

"You dropped your Potions essay," I explained, taking the folded bit of parchment out of my pocket and showing it to him. "You sounded scared last night."

Memories of his shout flashed through my mind; he had sounded terrified and more serious than I'd ever heard him before. It was for that reason that I'd gone back inside when he'd told me to, something I wouldn't normally do.

"It was nothing!" Potter snapped, beginning to get angry with my pressing. He turned away to walk out of the passageway. Acting on instinct, I reached forward and grabbed Potter's shoulder, pulling him so that he was facing me again.

I wasn't expecting the yelp of pain that came from him and I immediately let go of him in case I'd hurt him. It was then that I noticed there was blood on my hand and the only place it could have come from was Potter. "You're bleeding."

"Barely," Potter mumbled, he was holding his left arm stiffly as if it hurt too much to move.

"Let me see," I commanded, pulling out my wand and trying to remember the healing lessons I'd had with Madame Pomfrey.

"Not a chance!" He exclaimed, looking as if I'd asked him to strip and then run around the Great Hall.

I narrowed my eyes at him and raised my wand. Potter grumbled under his breath but the threat was enough to convince him to strip his robes off so that I could see his shoulder. There was a bandage wrapped around it but it was soaked with blood.

"Why haven't you gone to Madame Pomfrey?" I asked, reaching up and gently touching the bandage, taking care not to press too hard and hurt him.

"Don't feel like it," he growled. I was relieved that he didn't seem to notice that I was slowly unwrapping his bandages. As soon as I pulled the last bandage off Potter jerked his shoulder away from me.

There was no denying that the wound was a bite; the skin around it was healing, but I could still see the puncture marks from teeth. Facts burst through my brain quickly and each one made me feel sicker.

"L-last n-night," I stammered. "I-it was a f-full m-moon."

I was hoping desperately that he'd tell me I was wrong, laugh it off and tell me I was being ridiculous, because there was no way James Potter could have been bitten by a werewolf. Especially since the only werewolf at Hogwarts was Remus and Potter should have known better than to go anywhere near where Remus transformed.

"Please," he croaked, shattering all of my hopes. "Please don't tell."

"When you shouted at me," I stated, realizing the truth as I spoke. "You distracted him."

"Please, Lily," he begged. "I'll never bother you again. Please don't tell."

"I won't," I promised solemnly.

"Thank you," Potter said, pulling his robes back on.

"What happened?" I whispered, unsure what I was talking about but needing to hear his answer. I caught his eye and held his gaze as he opened his mouth and told me everything.

My heart went out to him as he spoke about becoming Animagi in his Fifth year, a feat that had never been done before. When he told me what he'd done to protect me, I felt like crying and screaming at him. Why would he do that for me? After all of the times that I'd rejected him and he still risked his life to save me.

"I won't tell," I swore again. He nodded slowly, as if he hadn't meant to tell me everything and was only just realizing what he'd done. Giving me one last glance, he turned around and began leaving the passageway.

"James," I called him back. He looked startled by the fact that I'd used his name but there was no way I couldn't after hearing everything he'd done. I looked down at the bloodied bandages in my hands and twisted them nervously as I spoke. "I'm sorry; it was all my fault."

"No it wasn't," he denied. All of a sudden he was stood in front of me, lifting my head so that I was forced to look into his eyes. "I'd do anything for you." He left quickly before I could reply, leaving me standing alone in the passageway.

Knowing that no one else would find me, I felt safe enough to sit down on the floor with my back against the wall and curl into a ball as tears streamed out of my eyes. The sobs that I'd been holding back broke forth and echoed off of the walls.

Guilt ate away at me as I cried. I felt guilty for so many things; for being the reason that James got hurt, for sticking my nose in where it didn't belong and, most of all, for not taking James seriously all those times that he'd told me he truly cared for me.

It was a couple of hours before I felt well enough to leave the passageway and begin making my way back to Gryffindor Tower. I cast a few concealment charms so that nobody noticed I'd been crying, it must have worked because no one gave me funny looks.

I went straight to my dorm room when I entered the tower, ignoring the questioning looks that Alice threw me. Neither Potter nor his friends were in the common room, but I didn't allow myself to wonder where they were as I collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes.

A/N: Please review! :)