Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter.
Hey all. No, I'm not dead. I'm sorry it's been a week since I updated, but I felt I needed to take a little break. I felt this because I've been trying to plan the rest of this story. But guess what? I think I have it all planned now. I was trying to work out all the details about what I want to do until the end of seventh year. I think I'm all set now! I hope you all had a good week!
Thanks for all the great reviews! To my one reviewer, I'm so glad surgery went well. Going on the operating table is a daunting experience, I've been through it too.
Okay, enjoy this chappie!
Chapter 51: Difficult Conversations
The next morning, Harry and his friends noticed that Ron was in a very foul mood. When they tried to ask him about it, he just muttered, "Detention with Umbridge."
Ron had been thinking, and he decided he'd try to trick Umbridge by writing down on a piece of parchment that he had been made to use a blood quill, and then show it to Harry and Hermione. Unfortunately, that plan fell apart; apparently Umbridge had anticipated this move from Ron. When he tried to write the words, they came out as jibberish. This made Ron even angrier.
"What did she have you do?" asked Hermione sympathetically.
"Lines," said Ron, knowing that he couldn't say anything else; the spell wouldn't let him.
"Well, that isn't so bad," said Harry. Ron snorted; he had no idea.
When they were travelling from breakfast to Slughorn's Potions class, Ron said, "I have to tell you something, guys. I know I was a real prat last year, and I wouldn't listen to reason. But this year I think I want to talk to the Slytherins with you. Not this week, because I have detention, but starting next week."
Needless to say, the others were shocked. Something had really seemed to change in Ron; he was definitely growing up. "Okay," said Harry. "Let's talk to Slughorn after class."
He was really dreading doing this, because he was sure Slughorn would make an extremely big deal out of it. Sure enough, once class was over, Slughorn rubbed his hands together in glee when he saw Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville linger behind.
"Well, well, well!" he boomed. "And what a pleasure it is to have you still here! What may I do for you four?"
"Did Professor Dumbledore ever tell you about S.A.N.E?" asked Hermione seriously.
Slughorn thought for a minute. "Ah, yes!" he said jovially. "I do appreciate your efforts to help my house! Why do you ask?"
"We would like to continue it," replied Neville, smiling.
"How wonderful!" Slughorn beamed. "How about Friday night, that way they won't have to worry about homework if they don't want to? I'll talk to my Slytherins, and you can meet here, in the Potions classroom."
"That's great," declared Ron. "Thank you very much."
"You are most welcome," said Slughorn. "Now, Mr. Potter, Mr. Longbottom, would you stay here a moment, please? Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, you can go."
"We'll wait outside," said Hermione, wondering what the Potions Master wanted with the two boys. Harry and Neville looked at each other in confusion.
"Boys," said Slughorn proudly, "since you are two students I very much underestimated before I met you, and since you have made me very proud, I would like to invite you both to join the Slug Club. This is a club that meets every couple of weeks; we have celebrations and many interesting conversations."
"Uh, no thanks," said Neville shyly, Harry shaking his head also.
"Oh, come on!" boomed Slughorn. "I don't bite! It should be a fascinating experience! Mr. Zabini is in the club, along with Miss Lovegood and many others!"
"No, it's okay," said Harry uncomfortably, not wanting to spend any more extra time with Slughorn than he had to. He turned away from the man, Neville following him. Slughorn looked at them dejectedly as they walked out of the room.
"Well, what was that about?" said Ron as they walked to their next class.
"He wanted us to join the Slug Club," said Neville, going on to explain exactly what that was.
"Oh," said Hermione. "You declined, then?"
"Yeah," Harry answered.
"That was a good move," said Ron. "He'd have probably asked you all kinds of questions you didn't want to answer."
"That's what I was thinking," said Harry. "That's why we said no."
xxx
The next few days passed slowly for the group. Ron remained in a foul mood, having detention all week long. He kept his resolve firm that he would find a way to undo the concealing charm on the back of his hand. Harry was still getting weird looks in the hallways, some of deep mistrust and suspicion, but his friends continuously remained by his side.
On Friday evening, Harry, Neville, Ginny, Hermione, and Cho walked to the Potions classroom. Cedric's absence was felt more than ever as they quietly talked amongst themselves. They would miss his compassionate nature and his honest speeches to the Slytherins.
When they entered the room, many of the Slytherins within smiled at them. Others, however, looked very worried. Theodore Nott was biting his nails, and Blaise Zabini looked nervous as well. As much as Harry didn't want to talk about this, he knew that many of the students would probably have questions about his encounter with Voldemort. He was absolutely dreading this, but since Voldemort's influence was especially apparent in the Slytherin house, now was the time to get the students to understand that there was a better way of doing things than joining the monster.
"Hello, everyone," greeted Neville as the group once again stood in front of the room. "How are you doing today?"
There were several muttered "fine's" from the assembled students.
"Good," said Cho, clearing her throat. Out of all of them, she and Harry were feeling the absence of their departed friend the most.
Theodore Nott raised his hand, not being able to contain himself any longer. "Excuse me, but is the Dark Lord really back?" he demanded. Several other Slytherins straightened in their chairs, showing that they wanted the question answered as well. "Did he really kill Diggory?"
"Yes, Theodore, he did," Harry answered somberly.
"But I thought the Dark Lord could never return," said Bulstrode. "When he was seen at the World Cup he was nothing but a deformed creature. He can't have regained full power."
"Things aren't always what they seem, Millicent," said Hermione with a very serious look on her face.
Helena put her hand up. "Malfoy's being especially vicious with us now," she said, sounding upset. "He's holding these meetings, just like you are. He's saying all this stuff about power, and how important it is that we show those we don't like who's boss."
"He's all talk and no action," said Ginny, scowling as she thought of the blond-haired Slytherin. "Don't you see how he always has his two goons, Crabbe and Goyle, with him? I have a feeling that if he becomes a Death Eater, he'll realize it's not what it's cracked up to be."
"I have to tell you," said Harry, dread coursing through him as he spoke, "that when I saw Voldemort ..." There was a collective intake of breath, "this June, his Death Eaters had no power at all. They were slaves, guys, slaves to him, and they were all tortured. Voldemort does whatever he wants to them, he doesn't care about their feelings."
Nott shook his head. "My parents told me that the Dark Lord holds all his supporters in high regard, that he makes them feel accepted and as though they belong."
"But as you saw at the World Cup last year, it wasn't what it seemed," said Hermione quietly, walking over to the distraught-looking boy and laying a hand on his shoulder. "You-Know-Who may make you feel that way at first just to rope you in. But once you're in, there's no getting out."
"You made the right choice, Theodore," said Cho, her eyes filling with tears as she remembered how Cedric had helped him come to the decision he had. "You decided not to join him, and not to kill and torture for him. When you think about it, Muggle-borns, Muggles, and half-bloods are human beings, just the same as everyone else."
"How can he be back, though?" said Daphne Greengrass, trying hard to disguise the panic in her voice. "It's impossible."
"He used a very dark potion so that he could return to his body," said Harry, his face expressionless.
"Was Diggory ... was he ... tortured?" asked Helena softly, her face mirroring her sadness and confusion.
"Yeah," answered Harry, looking down to the floor. "I did everything I could to try to help him, but I was tied to a gravestone. There was nothing I could do."
"Why were you tied to a gravestone?" asked Zabini.
"So I couldn't get away," answered Harry, the images of that night playing out in gruesome and vivid detail. "The same thing happened to Cedric. Voldemort used ... used my blood ... to help him return."
Ginny put an arm around him; she could feel Harry shaking with shame and guilt. "It wasn't your fault," she said softly.
"The Dark Lord returned because of you?" demanded Kevin Simmons, a seventh-year Slytherin loudly. Harry shook harder.
"You know Harry didn't want to be there," said Ginny angrily. "Don't think for even a second that it was voluntary." She continued to whisper quiet words to Harry as Hermione got a chair and helped Harry to sit in it.
"As you can see, Harry's very upset by this," said Cho sadly. "So please don't badger him about it. The fact that he's even talking to you about this proves what a strong person he is."
"You were Cedric's girlfriend," muttered Kevin. "How can you not hold Harry responsible?"
"Because Cedric was like his big brother," said Cho fiercely. "And it wouldn't be fair to him if I stopped being his friend. It's not his fault. Can't you see how upset this makes him?"
"Fine," said Kevin. "Fine. But how are we supposed to prepare for a war?"
"And what if I have to confront my parents?" asked Nott. "What if I face them in battle someday? Then what?"
"There's no use worrying about that yet," said Hermione soothingly. "And nobody says you actually have to fight in the war. We're protected here at Hogwarts, Dumbledore ..."
"Dumbledore can't fix everything," Nott snarled. "And the way things are going, if we fight we'll lose, because Umbridge isn't teaching us anything!"
"Yeah, why is that?" asked Helena furiously. "Why is she just making us read the stupid textbook all the time?"
"Yeah, speaking of that old codger, what was he thinking hiring an incompetent teacher like her?" drawled Zabini.
"Guys, it isn't Dumbledore's fault," said Harry, who had regained his composure somewhat. "Sirius and Remus told me that he couldn't find anyone to fill in the position of Defense teacher, so the Ministry had to step in."
"And they don't believe what Harry's saying about You-Know-Who, as you know," added Neville.
"Well, I'm going to try to practice the spells whether Umbridge likes it or not," declared Zabini. "If the Dark Lord really is back then we have to do something about it."
They spent a little while longer talking about these matters. Then Harry said, "Starting next week, a new member will be joining our group."
"Who's that?" asked Helena curiously.
"Ron," said Ginny.
"Oh," drawled Nott. "I thought he couldn't be bothered with us. I was under the impression he thought we were all evil losers. What's changed?"
"He's grown up," said Hermione at once. "Sometimes it takes a big event like what happened last year to really get people to understand the bigger picture."
"Well, he'd better prove that he doesn't hate all of our guts," said Zabini bitterly. "Because if he even thinks about hexing us ..."
"He won't, if I have anything to say about it," said Ginny dangerously.
"We know that hard times are ahead," said Harry, looking at the group with solemn, haunted eyes. The look scared some of them, especially the first and second-years. He looked like he'd seen way too much for his age. "Hogwarts needs house unity, not this stupid petty rivalry. Remember what the Sorting Hat said?"
"Yeah," said Derek, a first-year. "It said we all had to be strong and stand united."
"Exactly," said Neville. "So S.A.N.E will do that, won't we?"
Many Slytherins nodded. Some looked panicked, especially Nott. Harry could understand how he felt; how was he supposed to fight Voldemort when he'd practically grown up being brainwashed by his doctrine?
xxx
Harry couldn't have been more right. As Nott left the classroom with Zabini in tow, he was terrified. Nobody seemed to understand what it had been like living in his family, even though Potter and his group could sympathize. They could try to help him all they wanted, and he couldn't help feeling grateful, but at the same time, none of them could really grasp the reality of it. And what would it be like to face his own father in battle, to have the killing curse aimed at him by his own mother? He couldn't help feeling bitter resentment and jealousy when he thought of other people's family relationships.
Nott had always assumed he'd be a Death Eater. It had only been when he'd seen the devastation at the Quidditch World Cup last year that he'd had second thoughts. Just the thought of those two little girls, their eyes staring at the sky, their parents sobbing over them and begging them to wake up, had caused a feeling of tremendous nausea to swell inside of him. Seeing how distraught the parents were, it prompted him to wonder why his family had never been loving like that. If the Dark Lord ordered his mother or father to kill him, they'd do it in a heartbeat, without a second thought. Everything they did was to help the Dark Lord, not to help their son. They had always been stern with him; they'd never given him hugs and kisses or read him bedtime stories. He'd only associated with purebloods growing up, and Hogwarts had been a shock for him.
The summer he'd spent with his aunt was one that caused Nott to think over his life. He now had someone who loved him unconditionally; Aunt Tessa had taken him in and tried to explain how messed up his family really was. He'd always tried to keep his composure, but found himself getting very angry sometimes. Why couldn't she just leave him alone and allow him to sort his own feelings out? He was just so confused right now. He needed space, and time.
He didn't know what it was that had told him he should keep going to S.A.N.E. He wasn't used to people treating him kindly, and the hard facts he had learned about the Death Eaters had really made him see them in a new light. When he'd seen Diggory's body lying on the Quidditch pitch, he'd been in shock. The boy had done nothing but be a good, honest person, and he was killed. It wasn't fair. Something in his mind and heart told him that the right thing to do was prevent more supporters of the Dark Lord from emerging. He was uncomfortable around Potter and his friends, but the support Zabini gave him helped him feel more reassured. It was difficult for him to change his mind about Potter, but it was slowly happening. Throughout his life, he'd heard that the boy was nothing but an arrogant little prick who deserved nothing better than to be done in by the Dark Lord. But he'd seen the haunted, faraway look in Harry's eyes and knew he was far from arrogant. Seeing the death of a best friend right in front of your eyes must be the hardest thing to ever go through.
As Nott and Zabini entered the Slytherin common room, they were confronted by Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson. Not again, thought Nott tiredly. Why can't they just leave us alone?
"So," said Malfoy viciously, standing right in front of the two. Some S.A.N.E members saw what was going on and stood with Nott and Zabini, ready to lend a helping hand if they had to. "Had fun in your stupid little meeting? Do you really think pathetic Potter will win over the Dark Lord?"
"Malfoy, just leave us alone," Blaise said, sounding as tired as Nott felt.
"We don't follow the order of traitors. Right, boys?" smirked Malfoy, looking at Crabbe and Goyle.
"That's right," the two thugs replied, clenching and unclenching their fists.
"Harry's nice to us," said Helena fiercely. "But you, Malfoy, ever since I met you you've done nothing but try to have us obey you. Harry doesn't treat us like servants."
"How dare you!" yelled Malfoy. "This is the house of Salazar Slytherin! Our doctrine is to follow the most powerful wizard in the world, not a pathetic crybaby!"
"Oh, so you're calling You-Know-Who a crybaby," Derek said bravely, standing next to Helena. "Perhaps you get it, after all."
Crabbe and Goyle raised their fists, ready to pound Derek, but Helena put herself in his spot. "We are a noble house," she said firmly. "But that does not mean we have to follow a murderer. Cedric was a good person, he didn't deserve what he got."
"Bullshit," snarled Malfoy. "He was a blood traitor. All blood traitors deserve to die."
Derek aimed a punch at Malfoy, but before he could deliver it, Professor Slughorn entered the room. He saw everyone with glares on their faces and demanded, "What's going on here, what's going on?"
"Malfoy's being a foul, disgusting git," Helena said contemptuously. All could see that she was frightened; she was shorter than Malfoy and knew that Crabbe and Goyle could punch her lights out, but she was going to stand up for what was right. Slytherin wasn't going to be known as the evil house anymore if she had anything to do with it.
"Now, now," said Slughorn. "There's no need for all this fighting. This is Hogwarts; we should all get along! Those of you who went to the meeting with Harry and his friends, how was it?"
"It was good, Professor," said Derek, his face breaking into a smile. "I like him."
"Good, good!" bellowed Slughorn. "Now, I think it's time you all went to bed. You've got another big day tomorrow! Off you go! Don't dawdle!"
He left the room, and the group began to go up the stairs to their dormitories. As Nott started to go to where he was staying with the same group of boys he'd stayed with last year when he'd moved from his old dormitory, Malfoy sneered at the S.A.N.E members, "When the Dark Lord wins and Potter lies dead at his feet, you'll regret this and wish you were on the winning side. You'll get what's coming to you, you filthy traitors."
"Well, when a dementor sucks out your soul, YOU'LL be the one to regret being on the losing side," said Helena angrily. It was plain to see that the girl who had once been so shy had really come out of her shell.
Malfoy just gave the S.A.N.E members a smirk and disappeared into his room, Crabbe and Goyle following. As Nott went into his own, he thought of how divided the Slytherin house was now. He partly blamed Potter for this, but his conscience niggled at him and told him not to. Potter was only doing the right thing, after all.
And Nott vowed to himself, his resolve remaining strong, that no matter what, he couldn't be forced to serve a sociopath who murdered innocent seventeen-year-old boys, tortured and killed younger children, and even murdered his own supporters if they betrayed him. He was still terrified at the thought of one day battling his own parents who had raised him, fed him, and given him a roof over his head, but he couldn't think about that now. All he knew now was that the Dark Lord had to be stopped, because he had totally destroyed his parents' souls.
And the monster would pay for that.