Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter.

Thanks so much, guys, for the fantastic reviews! Don't worry about Percy; as I said, I will definitely be exploring him more in further installments of this story.

Okay, a warning about this chapter. I know that in canon, it is clearly stated through the memories that Snape gave Harry that Snape's worst memory happened after the werewolf incident in the Marauders' school days. But in this story, I have made it so that it's reversed. Before DH came out, I always thought it had been Snape's near-death that changed the Marauders, James in particular.

All right, here goes!

Chapter 60: The Pain of Regret

Harry spent the rest of the Christmas break trying to get over Arthur's funeral. Seeing the Weasleys so downcast had been heartbreaking for him, and he knew it would be a long road ahead for his favorite family. He prayed that they'd find the strength to go on.

On the day he was set to head back to Hogwarts, Harry said goodbye to his guardians and got on the train with his friends. He could see that the distant look was still in Ron's eyes; he still looked as shattered and confused as he had the day of the funeral. Ginny looked very, very tired; she had dark circles under her eyes. Fred and George still weren't their normal, chipper selves, and Hermione was doing all she could to console everyone in the family.

The Weasleys had made a joint decision not to tell Harry about the debacle with Percy. Harry had already been through so much; it would be detrimental to him to learn how Percy felt about him. So they pretended, for Harry's sake, that Percy had never shown up at all.

Everyone tried to act normal on the train by playing games of Exploding Snap and munching on chocolate frogs, but the Weasleys' hearts just weren't in it. Harry, Neville, Hermione, and Cho tried everything they could to steer the topic of conversation to happier subjects.

"So," said Cho, "are you guys studying hard for your OWL's at the end of the year?"

"Don't remind me," groaned Ron. "I don't even want to think about it."

"I've still got a little more than a year until I take mine," said Ginny. "But I've already started to study."

"Good for you, Ginny," said Hermione approvingly. "It's always best to get ahead."

"Yeah, 'cause you've been studying since first year, right?" Ron tried to joke.

"Oh, Ronald," Hermione sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

At that moment, the compartment door flew open, and in walked Draco Malfoy with Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson. Harry had a feeling that this altercation was not going to be good.

"So," drawled Malfoy, a horrible smirk on his face. "How were your holidays, Weasleys?"

"I'd shut up if I were you, Malfoy," Neville shot at him.

"I'm not scared of you, Longbottom," Malfoy sneered. "And I'm only asking them a simple, polite question. How were your holidays, Weasleys?"

Ron jumped to his feet, raising his wand. "Get the fuck out of here, Malfoy," he snarled.

"Why, what's the matter, Weasel?" snickered Malfoy. "Missing your old man?" Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy laughed raucously.

"You know what?" Cho said as she got to her feet as well. Harry held Ron back from punching the lights out of Malfoy as she continued, "You are a horrible person, Draco. It's really evil to get pleasure out of other people's pain. You should really think about what you're doing and saying. How would you like it if you lost one of your parents and people made fun of you for it?"

Malfoy just smirked. "Ooh, the crybaby's talking to me," he mocked. "She thinks she can teach me a lesson in morality. Well, go on, Potter. Keep hanging out with these filthy little traitors, and we'll see what happens to them as the Dark Lord's power grows!" And with that, he and his goons walked out of the compartment, grinning and chortling to themselves.

Harry let Ron go, and the redhead threw himself back in his seat. "Bastard," he roared. "I'd like to see his dad snuff it. Then maybe he'll know what it's like!"

"Ron, I know you're angry, but don't say that," implored Hermione.

"Who cares about the right thing right now, Hermione?" shrieked a tearful Ginny. "Malfoy's just a vicious, spiteful bully! And his father ... his father ..."

Harry put an arm around her, knowing that her connection to Lucius Malfoy was a very unpleasant one, because the elder Malfoy was the one who had put the diary in her cauldron and got the whole Tom Riddle shenanigans to start up.

"Calm down, Ginny, Ron," Hermione soothed. "He's just Malfoy."

"He may be just Malfoy, but he doesn't have any right to treat people like that," Harry fumed, keeping his arm around Ginny.

The ride went on in silence, each of the occupants of the compartment mulling in their own pessimistic thoughts. Harry groaned as a little later, the compartment door opened again. Please don't let it be Malfoy coming to taunt us some more, he prayed.

But his face brightened when he saw Helena, the second-year Slytherin, walk into the compartment with her friend Derek. Also trailing them were Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini.

"Don't worry," Helena said right away. "It's not Malfoy. I heard what he did earlier, he was snickering about it. He's a piece of crap. Just don't pay any attention to him."

Nott cleared his throat and looked seriously at the group. "Uh, um, I just wanted to say ..." he said slowly, "that I'm sincerely sorry for your loss over the holidays. I read about it in the Daily Prophet."

"Yeah," Derek chimed in. "That's really horrible. We're really sorry."

Harry exchanged glances with all his friends, and they marveled at how far S.A.N.E had come. A few years ago, it would be almost impossible for a Slytherin to reach out a hand to a grieving Gryffindor and vice versa, but now was different. The houses were truly uniting. "Thank you so much," Harry said sincerely. "That means a lot."

"And we all believe you about You-Know-Who being back," said Helena earnestly. "Is the DA still going to go on?"

"Yeah, it is," Ginny answered. "We'll let you know when the next meeting is. Look on your coin, okay?"

"We will," Derek promised, giving the group a shy smile. With that, the Slytherins left the compartment.

Ron sat with his mouth hanging open. "I never would have thought," he said in a shocked voice. "A bunch of Slytherins being nice to us."

"Well, that just proves again that they're not all bad," said Cho.

"I'm so glad we started S.A.N.E," said Ginny, and Harry fervently agreed.

xxx

The first week back at Hogwarts went as well as could be expected. Umbridge was still doing the same old rubbish, and Harry felt even more hatred towards her than he had the previous year because she and the Ministry were still in denial, even after Arthur's death. Harry was doing all he could to help Ron and Ginny, who were struggling with their concentration when it came to schoolwork. Arthur was always on their mind, and he was on Harry's too. But they did the best they could to survive.

Ron was now looking even more wildly for a way to undo the concealing charm on the back of his hand. Now more than ever, he needed to let the world know what Umbridge had done. Every night that he had no success, his resolve grew even stronger.

On Saturday, Sirius and Remus came for Harry's therapy session. The subject they were going to talk about with Harry had been on their minds for awhile, and little did the two men know that this particular session would truly open their eyes to some of the mistakes they'd made in their youth.

As Harry sat in the Room of Requirement, Remus asked gently, "Harry, remember that I told you in our last session that in this one, we're going to be talking more about your school experiences at the Dursleys."

"Yeah, okay," said Harry uncomfortably, preparing himself for the questions that were going to be asked of him.

"You said last session," said Sirius, "that there was one person who tried to defend you from Dudley's gang while you were there. Can you please tell me more about them?"

"All right," said Harry with a heavy heart. "Her name was Priscilla." he said in a monotone.

"What happened to her? You sound as if something did," said Remus.

"She moved away," said Harry, his head lowered. "To Australia."

"That's awful," said Sirius, bitter feelings of anger surging within his heart. It was just ironic that the only person who'd seemed to defend Harry had to leave the country. What a truly awful life Harry had led. "What was she like?"

"Well, she was scared of Dudley's gang," Harry told his guardians. "But she told them she thought they were bullies, and that she wished they'd stop doing the things they did."

"Did she defend you until the day she left?" asked Remus quietly.

"Yeah," said Harry sadly. "I remember the last day. The boys - Piers was one of them - remember, he came to the zoo with us the day I accidentally let that snake free."

"Yes, I remember you telling us about him," said Sirius. "Go on."

"Well, he and some other boys, along with Dudley, were teasing me," Harry admitted. He hesitated, not wanting to talk about this subject at all because it brought up such painful memories. Priscilla, the only light in his life at Privet Drive, had been taken away so quickly.

"Cub, it's okay," Remus soothed. "Just take your time."

"Can I ... would it be okay if you just saw the memory?" Harry asked slowly.

Remus and Sirius exchanged looks. Both of them thought it was better for Harry to get his feelings out by talking, but they could see on the boy's face that it would take a lot out of him. So they decided, for this time, to see the memory. They also had a sneaking suspicion that this memory would make them see things in a whole different way.

"Okay," Sirius agreed softly. Harry always brought his Pensieve to therapy sessions in case his two guardians wanted to see memories. He quickly took out his wand from his pocket, put it to his temple, and withdrew a silvery strand of memory. Then he placed it in the Pensieve.

"Okay, we'll be right back, pup," Sirius said gently, squeezing Harry's hand. Harry lay down on the couch as Sirius and Remus plunged their faces into the memory.

xxx

The two men found themselves standing in a schoolyard on a bright spring day. They saw happy, contented children playing with each other: skipping jumprope, singing songs, and truly having a wonderful time.

"Hey, freak!"

The voice caught Sirius and Remus by surprise, and they whirled around. What they saw made their blood boil: four boys were ganging up on a skinny, bespectacled boy with a mop of messy black hair.

"Please, I don't want any trouble," said Harry. "Please leave me alone."

"Awwww, the wittle baby's going to cwy," mocked one of the boys. "Piers, hold his hands behind his back, won't ya?"

"Sure thing, mate," said Piers. He grabbed Harry's hands. The boy tried to struggle, but no matter how much he did, the other boy was much too strong for him.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

Suddenly, another shout was heard, and a blue-eyed, curly-haired girl came running over. Sirius and Remus had a strange feeling of déja vu: something about this scene seemed extremely familiar.

Piers smiled at the girl. "Hey, Cilla, whatcha doin'?" he said jovially.

"What are you doing to Harry?" the girl, Priscilla, demanded. "What's your problem with him?"

"Ah, just playin' around with the little tike, that's all. No harm done," said another of the boys. "Let us have our fun."

"No, I won't!" exclaimed Priscilla stubbornly. "Get away from him!"

"It's all right, Priscilla," Harry said softly. "I can handle this."

"No, let me help you," Priscilla replied. Turning back to the four bullies, she demanded, "What has he ever done to you to deserve this treatment?" The two men watching the memory suddenly felt a terrible feeling of foreboding.

"Well ..." said Piers slowly, giving Harry a twisted smirk. "It's more the fact that he exists, really."

The two men exchanged a horrified, stricken look. They felt physically ill as they realized what Piers had just said. It was almost exactly what James Potter had said after their Defense Against the Dark Arts written O.W.L, outside at the lake. James and Sirius had been teasing Snape, and Lily had come to his rescue. "What's he done to you?" she had asked, and James, while mussing up his hair, had replied in a contented drawl, "Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean."

Remus and Sirius then realized how completely foolish and awful they'd been in their youth. James must have turned over in his grave if he watched that episode with Harry and the bullies from the afterlife, they both thought. Remus also felt awful and ashamed for not doing anything to stop James and Sirius from their little game. He had heard the common saying that evil flourished if good men did nothing, and this was exactly it.

Suddenly, they didn't want to see anymore of this memory. It had done its duty, after all; it had helped them put things in perspective. They knew that if James were alive now, he'd be mortified.

It was the Shrieking Shack incident, the two men reflected as they told the Pensieve to eject them from the memory, which had made the Marauders grow up. After that episode they had realized just how foolish they were, and they learned not to antagonize Snape anymore. James had even tried to apologize to Snape on the day before their graduation. Snape hadn't accepted the apology, but the other Marauders were proud of James for at least trying.

When they arrived back in the Room of Requirement, both men sat on the couch, and each one of them slipped an arm around Harry. They decided not to tell him about James's antics back in their school days; they knew that revealing this information would hurt Harry tremendously. They dearly hoped that the boy would never learn about it, never learn that Piers's words were almost an exact replica of the words James had used on that hot June day back in 1976. Both Marauders could remember the day after Harry had come into their care, the day they'd told Harry of some of the pranks they'd pulled. They remembered how they'd made light of the whole situation, only telling Harry of the good times. Please let him never find out about the bullying, they prayed.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, cub," said Remus gently. "I know you were trying to fight back."

"Yeah," said Harry miserably. "They were too big and strong for me, though. They were right; I was pathetic and weak."

"You were not that at all," said Sirius fervently, truly feeling awful. "They were the pathetic ones, Harry. Usually, when people bully others, it means they are not confident about themselves. They try to bring others down so they can feel better."

Looking back, Sirius had to admit that that had been the reason why he'd picked on people back in his youth. He knew better than to make excuses, but he knew it had been because he'd felt horrible about his family situation during fifth year. Walburga and Orion Black had been on the verge of disowning him, saying he was cavorting with mudbloods and blood traitors. Even though he had had his friends, part of him still missed having the love of a parent and was angry that his family treated him the way they did. Unfortunately, he'd taken out that anger on Severus Snape. The pale, sallow-skinned boy had been the representation of everything Sirius hated.

While Sirius thought about this, Remus pondered over the reasons why he hadn't intervened when James and Sirius got up to their antics. He knew it was because he wanted to be liked so badly, and he was scared of his friends getting angry with him if he told them off. So that was why he'd stood by and done nothing, but he felt terrible about it now.

"Do you think so?" Harry asked, snapping his guardians back to the present. "Do you think that's why Dudley and his gang teased me? Because they don't feel good about themselves?"

"I've studied a lot of psychology over the years," Remus explained, "and that's definitely why."

"Why should Dudley feel bad about himself, though?" Harry wondered out loud. "His parents treat him like he is a piece of gold."

"Parents can give their children everything they want, but that doesn't always make their life perfect, pup," Sirius told him gently. "Maybe deep inside, Dudley is angry at his parents, or angry at the world. And he took that anger out on you."

"And it's not right that he did that, not by any means," Remus said seriously. "Please know that, okay?"

"Okay," Harry said, sighing. "I'll try."

"I know it's tough," Remus said softly. "Being bullied is never an easy thing. Never."

xxx

When the two men got home that night, leaving Harry in the safety of Hogwarts, they continued to ruminate on what they had seen that day.

"I wonder sometimes," said Sirius slowly, "about Snape. James had the notion that our bullying of him at school turned him into what he became. Well, it was Snape's own decision to become a Death Eater, but ..." He sighed miserably. "Do you think I helped cause that?"

It was the first time Sirius had really thought about this subject in depth. He'd told James not to be ridiculous when he'd brought it up, claiming that "Snivellus brought it all on himself". After it had been revealed to him that Snape had informed Voldemort of the prophecy, he'd only concentrated on the anger, the fury, the hatred he felt towards the other man. But now, it was as though a heavy block had landed on his heart. Did he have yet another reason to blame himself for James and Lily's deaths?

"Honestly, it's hard to know, Siri," Remus answered. "But you weren't the only one at fault; I was, too. I was a Prefect, and I didn't do anything to stop you."

"Yeah," Sirius said, his head bowed in regret. "What I saw today made me sick. It really made me hate bullies, and hate myself for what I used to be."

"I felt the same," Remus confessed. "But I guess this taught us how to be better people."

"S'pose it did," answered Sirius. "Our Harry's definitely teaching us a lot. I love him more than life itself. He's truly an inspiration"

"Yes." Remus said quietly. "Yes, truly."

"I know I can never make up for what I did back then," said Sirius. "But I pledge an oath to you, Remus, that I'll be better now."

"I know," Remus said, hugging his best friend. "I can see your feelings about this, and I know as well as you do that it's horrible to live with regret. But Siri, we can't go back, as hard as that is. But what we can do is move forward. We've been through a lot together, haven't we? We've come so far, and we've changed a lot. But that's what life's all about."

"Agreed," said Sirius, returning Remus's embrace, his eyes burning. But he knew Remus was right; they needed to move forward now. . "Indeed."