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Chapter 2 Tears

Jocelyn stood on the back porch, her blonde hair blowing in the wind. Her brown eyes clouded in worry as she looked out over the ocean that was practically in their back yard. As Judy walked into the kitchen, she found her granddaughter staring out in the distance making her seem much older than her eight years. She was a lot brighter than most other kids her age. There was something special about her, Judy knew God had a plan for this child.

Her daughter, Quinn, had been through so much in her life. First, teen pregnancy with Beth, her estrangement from the family, the accident. Yale had been the best thing for her. But, she got pregnant in her first year there. She didn't like to talk about it much, but Judy had a feeling it happened on her Spring Break when she had went to California for the first time with some friends.

Judy, unwilling to let her child drop out of college, moved down to Connecticut to help out and raise Jocelyn so Quinn could focus on her studies. Being a single mom and attending college full time wasn't easy, but she did it. After graduating with honors, Quinn took Jocelyn, picked up everything and moved to California to live after she was offered a high paying position at a company. The job allowed her to be home on weekends and nights so she could spend more time with Jocelyn; Judy moved back home to Ohio, unwilling to go that far away, too scared to go that far away from the familiar path she walked. Quinn was like super woman to Judy.

Sometimes, though, Judy missed her husband. He'd be so proud of all that Quinn had overcome if only he'd quit being so stubborn and open his eyes to the wonder that was Jocelyn. She was funny, smart, talented, a true joy. She was polite, respectful.

Smiling, Judy stepped out on the deck to stand next to Jocelyn. "The sunset's pretty, isn't it?" she commented. The different hues of red, orange, yellow, and blue splashed along the horizon like paint on a never ending canvas.

Jocelyn turned to give a weak smile towards her grandma. "Mommy and I like to sit out in the sand and watch the sunset. She said it was our special time. A time when we could be at peace with the world. Peace is good, you know."

Judy chuckled. "You're right on that."

The doorbell rang just then, and Jocelyn ran to the door, hoping it was her mommy. Though, if it truly was, the doorbell wouldn't have rung. Quinn would have just come in. Quinn was due to come home any time now. She hadn't called since before she left, which was unusual for her, but Judy blew it off as just being to busy and tired to do it.

Following Jocelyn into the house, she found it was Noah Puckerman, the boy who had knocked up Quinn the first time. Noah liked to visit Quinn and he helped her out a lot if she went on business trips. He lived in San Francisco, which was about a two hour drive. He was a good friend to Quinn. His pool cleaning business had really paid off, and he was doing very well for himself, which surprised Judy the most. He hadn't been the brightest teenager in the group back in high school. She hadn't been real fond of the idea of him and Quinn being so close when she had first moved down to Pacific Grove, but after a few visits and seeing how good he was with Jocelyn, she could hardly hate him.

Her heart was beating rather quickly. Quinn's plane was supposed to have arrived in San Francisco, and Noah was supposed to give her a ride home. So, where was Quinn? Why wasn't she with him now? Was she still in the car, getting her luggage? But, why hadn't Noah helped carry anything? Why had come empty handed?

His face was grim, set. Jocelyn picked up right away that something was wrong. "Uncle Noah, why do you look so sad? What happened?"

He looked down at her, dropping to one knee so he was at her level. "Why don't you go finish watching the sunset? It's almost completely set."

She cocked her head to one side as though she wanted to question him. But, as if she sensed he wanted to be alone with Judy, she nodded before walking solemnly out the patio door and went to chairs on the deck to watch the sky, though the sun was nearly disappearing behind the horizon.

Judy took a step forward as Puck stood up again. "Noah, where's Quinn?" she asked, skipping straight to the reason he was here. There was no time for formalities and idle chit chat at the moment.

His eyes were wet, and there was a lump in his throat that made speaking rather difficult. How was he supposed to get the words out? How was he supposed to ruin the happiness Quinn had built here? "Quinn, uh," his voice was shaking, refusing to cooperate. "The plane she was supposed to fly out in… it crashed into a field." There. The words were out. But, that didn't stop the tears.

Judy shook her head. "No. Quinn missed the flight. She can't have been on there. No. She's just stranded somewhere trying to get home." The hysterics weren't far behind now. Denial was clouding her every being. But, there was a part of her heart that knew what Noah was saying. Knew he was right. He wouldn't lie about this.

"Judy, haven't you seen the news?" he asked seriously. She shook her head. She didn't like to watch TV a whole lot, and when she did, the news wasn't her priority. "It's been all over the news for the past two days. It took them a long time to get the victim's names out to the families. But, I was listed as her emergency contact, and that's why you weren't notified." Of course Noah was the emergency contact. He was the closest. She'd never be able to get to California in time in case there was a real emergency.

She shook her head again. "She can't be gone. Can't be dead." She dropped to her knees when they would no longer hold her upright. Her head fell to her hands and she sobbed heavily. "No no no," she kept repeating those words over and over again. But, that didn't make it any less true.

Puck, unsure of how to comfort the grieving woman, knelt down next to her, rubbing her shoulders. He was still processing what he knew. The phone call had been nothing but earth shattering for him. He had been dating Quinn for awhile now, and he was just considering asking her marry him. He had waited too long.

"Is Mommy hurt?" Jocelyn's voice cut into the room like a knife, bringing a whole new flood of tears into Judy. How could God have done this to her? Jocelyn was only eight. Quinn had barely begun to live. Her life had so many tragedies. Why did God have to add to the list?

Puck's head shot up and he motioned for the girl to come into his arms for a hug. "Your mama's in a very special place right now," he told her. "She's up in heaven. She told you about heaven, right?" When Jocelyn nodded, he continued, "She's in a happy place. Watching over you."

"She's coming back, though, right?" her brown eyes were big and round, staring up at Puck's patiently.

"No, Joce. She's not coming back." He wanted to tell her that everything would be fine. But how could he say that if he wasn't sure about that himself? He couldn't lie to her. She deserved the truth. "She's dead." The finality of the words hit Judy harder than anything he'd said thus far, and she wailed, unable to hold back in front of the little girl.

Jocelyn, scared and uncertain, began to cry. Her mommy couldn't be dead. Couldn't be gone never to come back. She promised she'd be home to tuck her in tonight. She promised. And, mommy never broke her promise. Never.

Puck held Jocelyn tightly to him, stroking her hair with his hand. The three of them sat on the floor, crying and hugging, until exhaustion hit them. Judy took Jocelyn into her room and laid with her, cuddling real close. Neither wanted to be alone that night. Puck took the couch. But, no one slept that night. No one slept for a good many nights thereafter.

Puck knew he had to call Quinn's lawyers and get things squared away. Jocelyn would have to be put up for adoption if he or Judy didn't take her. And Puck wasn't so stupid as to know that older kids had a harder time trying to find a loving family. Everyone wanted younger kids. Judy was too old to take care of Jocelyn, although, if worse came to worse, she'd take her before letting her become a ward to the state. Puck would take her, keep her safe. It wouldn't be ideal, but it was better than losing her forever.

Jocelyn was just like a daughter to him. He'd been with her since she was three, when he'd gotten in touch with Quinn again. In the beginning, he came about once a week to Pacific Grove, staying in the guest bedroom. As the years went on, he came more often. Every other weekend to nearly every weekend. He was considering moving down here permanently. His pool cleaning business was slowing down, and he figured he could get a job down at the docks.

Why did time always seem to be the problem? Everyone always said time healed all. But, there was never enough time. It was elusive. Sighing, he thought back to the good old days to when Quinn and him had been together in high school and all the friends he'd made. He'd have to call all of them to let them know what happened. But, how did he think he was going to be able to break the news to them? It wouldn't be easy for anyone. They were all so scattered now. But, maybe this could bring them together again.

~.~.~.~.~.~

"Daddy!" Bryan yelled from inside the house. "Phone for you!" he called out, holding up Finn's cellphone, which Finn had left on the kitchen countertop.

Getting up from his spot on the picnic blanket, he hurried up the porch steps and intercepted the phone from his son on the deck. "Go eat with Mom," he smiled at his son, who had only gone in the house to use the restroom. Bryan didn't need to be told twice, and he hurried down to sit with his brother and mother.

"Who was on the phone, sweetie?" Rachel asked him.

"Uncle Puck!" Bryan replied. "He sounded really sad, though." Bryan grabbed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and took a bite.

After the idle chit chat was out of the way, Puck dove right in. "Quinn's dead, Finn." The blow of what he just learned took away his breath. Quinn? His Quinn? The first girl he'd loved? The woman who left to go to Yale? Who had so much ahead of her? When had he seen her last? Probably eight years ago when he had been stationed in California. But, that was another matter all together. He talked to her every once and while when Rachel would hand off the phone to him during holidays or something, but they'd kept their distance since that day eight years ago.

"Her plane crash landed in the Pacific Ocean on its way up to Washington to a business conference or something she had. But, Finn, that's not even the worst part," Puck told him. Finn shook his head. What could possibly be worse than that? "She had a daughter. A little girl who's been left behind without a mother."

Finn would have fainted right then and there. Sure he and Quinn weren't on the most normal of terms, but surely she would have brought up the fact that she had a kid. That was a little hard to hide. Something not many people would make an effort to keep secret. "How old is she?" he asked. It was the only coherent thought he was able to speak.

"She just turned eight," Puck replied.

Eight? When he had met up with her eight years ago, he was sure she hadn't been pregnant. But, maybe it had been the early stages where no one could tell. But, what if… No, he wouldn't think like that. He couldn't think like that.

"There's more, Finn," Puck took a deep breath, and suddenly Finn wasn't so sure he wanted to find out the more.

Rachel wondered what the news could be. But, she focused her attention on the boys, not wanting them to be worried about good old Uncle Puck. Michael was petting Mufasa on the head and Bryan was reaching for a treat to give the retriever. "Don't give him too many, Bryan. You don't want to spoil him too much."

"Yes, mama," Bryan nodded and took a smaller portion out of the bag.

Rachel looked up and over the boys' heads to where Finn was standing. She could see him in the kitchen now, pacing back in forth. He looked so sad, too. What was going on. He closed the phone and just stared at it. His head slumped over. He looked up finally and caught Rachel's eyes. He motioned with his head for him to come in. He was going to tell her the news, finally.

"I'll be right back, you boys finish eating," she told them before hurrying into the house. "Finn, what's going on? What did Noah have to say?"

He didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at the ground. Finally, he looked up and into her eyes. "We need to talk."

The words shook her very core. What could have Finn behaving like this? What would make him look so confused, hurt, defeated all at the same time? A part of her was too afraid to find out.

Continue?

Next chapter you'll find out a bit more about what's going on. Though, it was implied a bit in this one.

Did you guys like it? Should I continue?