A/N: I may have missed replying to a few reviews. I get confused when I don't reply right away, forgetting which ones I already replied to and which ones I haven't. Apologies.

Chapter 7

He felt awful all the way home. Unlocking his door to find his brother waiting again didn't help. If he had to endure any more guilt he thought he'd just go crazy. Between Naruto and his all-encompassing acceptance, and his brother's tears, and Neji, and everything, he really didn't think he could take anymore.

Itachi stood up at seeing him enter, seemed to debate commenting on his presence, then just went back to his room and shut the door hard.

And that was the final straw, Sasuke decided.

His brother worrying about him till he couldn't even leave the house now without the guy waiting to see if he came back did the job of putting him over the edge. For a moment, he sagged where he stood, leaning his hands on his knees, before turning right around and leaving the apartment again.

Naruto was sound asleep when he felt someone shake his shoulder. Coming off a sleepless night, one that had been fraught with adrenaline and quite a few scares, he only muttered for the person to go away. The hand remained on him. It shook him with increasing insistence, until he finally pried his eyes open and looked over his shoulder. He was wide awake instantly. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke's face held steady for a moment, then crumpled before his eyes.

Naruto scrambled to his knees, but Sasuke was already sliding down the wall to sit. He had one hand clamped over his mouth, the other arm thrown over his face. His head rested on his drawn up knees as he cried. Really cried this time, not like in the convenience store.

Shocked beyond words, Naruto crawled over and sat beside him. Didn't touch him. Didn't say anything. Just sat with him and waited, trying to force his mind into some kind of working order; obviously something had happened that he'd missed. He didn't have a watch or anything, but going by how the sky was turning pink it couldn't be more than ninety minutes since Sasuke had told him to get a life. What could have happened between then and now?

Sasuke didn't enlighten him. He cried harshly for a good thirty minutes at least, without picking his head up. Naruto swallowed. A hundred questions tried to burst free of him, but somehow he knew that Sasuke would leave if he acknowledged what was happening in anyway. He had only to touch the bandage on his neck to remember how Sasuke felt about his previous lapse.

Finally, when the sobbing tapered down to sniffles, and the sniffles to the occasional hiccup, Sasuke scooted down completely and turned on his side.

Naruto looked around his tree house. He supposed Sasuke could sleep up here. He wasn't sure how Iruka would feel about it, but then Iruka never came to wake him up in the mornings. Most likely Hinata would be taking a few days off to see about her cousin, which would mean Iruka would have his hands full with the home. Naruto would be expected to pitch in… A glance at where Sasuke lay snoring softly, firmed Naruto's already unwavering devotion to him. The home was Iruka's business; Sasuke was his. He'd let him stay, and help him as much as he could, with whatever had driven him here.

He came to me, Naruto thought as he lay down beside Sasuke. Me. He's hurting over something and he came to me.

Periodically over the years, some of the smaller kids had shared a bed with him. For added heat, because of a nightmare, or for whatever reason. Naruto had viewed them as warm little balls, something not precisely unpleasant but not too fun either. The little kids slept wildly, and usually wet the bed. Laying himself beside Sasuke was nothing like that. For one, he felt a great deal more for Sasuke than he did for the kids of the home. For another, he never let kids into his tree house. He was very aware of sharing something private with Sasuke just then; something more than their initial visit, when Sasuke had been up here the first time. This was like the convenience store…sort of.

Too sleepy to puzzle it out, Naruto closed his eyes.

Off and on as he slept, Naruto was aware of sound. Kids playing in the yard, his name being called once or twice. He had a hazy memory of Iruka's worried face leaning over him, and food being mentioned, and then nothing. When he finally woke up, it was dark outside. Sasuke was already awake and sitting in his tree house window.

The window was large, taking up nearly one whole wall. The ledge was wide enough to sit on, with a cross bar halfway up that allowed one to lean their mid-section on it if they were sitting on the window ledge, as Sasuke was. His legs dangled outside the tree house as he stared upward. Not much could be seen from the window, but leaves and the backyard below.

Nothing was said as Naruto climbed up beside him. He slouched against the cross bar with a yawn, and crossed his arms so that his hands came up and grabbed the bar beneath his chin. A few times, he risked a peek in Sasuke's direction. Sasuke's face seemed pensive, as if he were thinking hard about something. Then he realized that Sasuke could see the moon through the leaves. When he turned to look up at it as well, he saw that it was full. He was idly staring at the craters, counting them, when Sasuke's voice floated to him on the summer breeze:

"I killed my parents."

Naruto was glad of the cross bar holding him up. He didn't dare move or comment. Hardly dared to breathe, as a cold shiver passed over his skin. He had the presence of mind to know that Sasuke was confiding in him, telling him something from deep within himself, and so kept his eyes on the moon. Maybe, if he was very quiet, and very still, he would learn just why Sasuke was the way he was.

-oOo-

The silence encouraged Sasuke, who'd glanced aside to find nothing but distant interest on Naruto's face. No shock or disgust. Just those blue eyes glittering with moonlight as they stared upward. Even so, his nerve failed him. He sat swallowing and quivering, also gazing heavenward, for what seemed like an eternity. Several times, he felt as if the words were there, ready to be spoken after ten long years, only to have them dry up the moment he opened his mouth.

He just couldn't do it.

As if sensing his difficulty, Naruto's hand dropped to the space separating their hips, and wormed its way into his. It was as sweaty as his own hand was. He returned the panicky squeeze Naruto gave, and just held it without looking at him. The contact signified that Naruto's friendship was still his. That it hadn't buckled beneath the weight of the revelation. That he could continue, and get the tale out, and the hand would still be there. For this Sasuke was absurdly grateful.

"It was a burglary," he said some time later. "Itachi and I came home and found the place wrecked, and our parents hurt. On the floor. Itachi told me to stay with them while he went for help, but I…I thought I could help them myself. They'd been shot. Entry wounds seemed straight-forward enough, and they were still alive…BPs were holding steady, so I-"

He had to swallow and bear down against the surge of guilt.

"But I messed up. I was seven, and it was the living room floor instead of an operating room, and I messed up. Killed them. They'd have been fine if I'd just waited for Itachi to come back with help. I killed them."

Naruto's hand held on tightly, squeezing hard as fresh tears left hot little trails on his cheeks.

It was a long while before he could go on. Many minutes, where the sound of his hitched breathing and wet sniffles were all that were heard. A glance showed Naruto's eyes to be downcast now, staring at the ground in attentive silence. Waiting for him to go on.

"Both my parents were doctors, you know. Mom was in Peds, and Dad…he was in Cardio. I was their prodigy, they said. Their genius kid." Sasuke felt a blush heating his cheeks, but pressed on. "I'm…smart. Like, freakishly smart. Photographic memory. I wanted to be a surgeon. They used to take me up to the hospital with them all the time, and I'd get to spend hours in the library while they worked. Mom said I should be in school, but Dad said that was my school. At night, my bedtime stories consisted of them pretending to be patients. They'd recite their symptoms and I'd diagnose them. Sometimes…sometimes Dad let me watch surgeries. More often, he or mom let me work on cadavers or practice the basics on them. Drawing blood, putting in a central line, suturing. That sort of thing. Once the director found out about me, he started this program at the hospital for gifted children, one that singled out medically inclined individuals. There was only one other kid in the program. Girl named Sakura. My age. We had to take exams, though, and go to med school before we'd be allowed to actually operate. When…I was studying for my MCATs when my parents…"

Another period of silence fell between them.

Sasuke cleared his throat. "The director blamed me for the loss of his two best doctors. Said children shouldn't be practicing medicine anyway. Shut the program down. Don't know what became of the girl, but I heard whispers at the funeral. All those doctors. Looking at me from behind their hands. Saying how I'd killed my parents. Itachi was the only one who stood by me. We had an uncle come to stay with us afterward, but he thought I'd killed them too, I could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at me. He was right. They all were. I was smart, but I was cocky. I was seven. And I killed them."

Naruto's hand shifted on his, but didn't let go. Their hands were so wet now that sweat squelched between their palms, but Naruto's grip was steely. Sasuke went on.

"Itachi had my back, but I gave it all up. Medicine, studying, everything. Know what he said to me?" Sasuke didn't wait for an answer. "He said, 'Well, if you won't pursue your dream, I'll pursue it for you.' He's been studying medicine ever since. He's hopeless at it, too. God…I hated him for that, for being so good to me. For not blaming me. I deserved to be blamed. It was…it was…"

Words finally failed him, but Naruto picked up the tale. "It was the only thing that made your guilt bearable," he said in a low voice.

Sasuke nodded. "But he never blamed me. Never. Always been there for me, and I hate him for that. Then he sent me to school, and I hated him even more. He's the whole reason I started cutting classes and staying out at night." Sasuke took a breath. "You want to know the reason I came to this stupid place? This home? Because he finally gave up on me. Told me to go and stay gone. It's his fault I'm-"

"No, it's not."

Sasuke looked at him sharply, before a sneer contorted his face. "Oh, so now you're an expert? Huh? You think you-"

"I think," Naruto said slowly, "that you started being an asshole in an effort to shoulder the guilt. Hurting people makes your own hurt go away. And you think you're a bad person, so you stopped trying to be good. It's easier for you. Easier than facing what happened. It's easier for you to wallow in self-pity than actually move on and make something of yourself."

Sasuke snatched his hand free. "This the part where you tell me it wasn't my fault? That I didn't kill them?"

Naruto thought for a long time, staring at where his bare feet swung slowly back and forth. "There's a lot of ugly in the world. I may not get out much, but I know that. I see. I listen. A hospital has to be one of those places where most of the ugliness lives. I can imagine docs doing their best to save people and sometimes failing. Or people going there for help, hoping to get better, and dying anyway. Medicine has to be one of the few places where all the unfairness in the world just gathers and piles up." He turned his head so that his cheek rested on the cross bar. Facing Sasuke, but not looking at him. "You're a doctor. A healer. It's not what you do, it's who you are. In your blood. You helped me when you didn't even like me, and you helped those thugs in Oto after they tried to kill us. It's who you are. And if that's the case, then I have to believe you know, on some level, that people just…die. No matter how much skill a doc has, or if the procedure is routine, people just die. And if you know that, then I don't have to tell you it's not your fault. You already know. Maybe you should have waited for your brother to come back, and maybe they did die on your watch. Doesn't mean you killed them. My mom died having me, but I didn't kill her."

Now the blue eyes found his and held there. Sasuke couldn't look away.

"You know something?" Naruto went on after some minutes. "You are the most fucked up person I have ever known. I've seen some real jerks volunteer at the home, but you're the worst. The absolute worst… And you saved those guys' lives tonight. You saved the people who shot at us. Saved Neji's life. Sasuke… it gives. Me. Chills… to think what you could be like on a good day. To know what you could accomplish if you'd just get out of your own way long enough to see yourself the way I do. Gives me chills." He shook his head at the end of this, stretched, and stood up.

Sasuke had to swallow several times before his dry mouth was capable of speech. "Where you going?"

"Food. I'm starving." Naruto stepped up onto the cross bar, then casually stepped out into the air. Sasuke watched him do a lazy somersault that landed him neatly on both feet. "You coming?" Naruto called up.

The residents of the home were sound asleep. Sasuke saw by a dusty clock on the wall that it was nearing midnight. In the kitchen, Naruto found two chipped bowls and a half-eaten box of Frosted Flakes. He poured for them both, drowned their cereal in milk, and produced to plastic spoons.

For a while, they only ate. Sasuke kept sneaking peaks at Naruto, trying to gauge if he'd meant his words or if he was bluffing. Naruto seemed intent on his cereal, though. Not as if he'd just heard the deepest darkest secret of Sasuke's life. Neither did he seem particularly enthralled with Sasuke, the way his 'give me chills' statement suggested. Seemed like things were business as usual for Naruto, and the business at hand was another bowl of flakes.

Sasuke cleared his throat, suddenly unable to stand the quiet. "Today was my first day of summer school. Blew it, I guess."

Naruto looked up, milk dribbling from his chin. "Summer school? I saw on TV that's for people like m…uh, people who aren't too bright. What do you need it for?"

Sasuke told how he never went to class if he could help it. "But I want to be free of this place. Itachi told me to go, and I'm going. Can't have juvie on my ass or the Academy sniffing at my heels. I want to make a clean break, have my shit in order. So I have to make up the work in order to get my damn diploma, even though I passed all my finals."

"Oh. But…that should be easy for you, right?"

"It is," Sasuke hedged, not quite able to believe they were speaking about something so ordinary as summer school after what he'd revealed. "But there are only so many hours in the day. The amount of work they're giving me, I'll be lucky if I have time to take a shit. I know I'll be failing at least two classes. P.E. and Math."

"What's P.E.?"

"Physical Education. Gym class."

Naruto snorted a laugh and ended up choking. "Dude," he wheezed. "How can you fail something like that?"

"By not being athletically inclined. I can't even pass a ball."

Naruto stared at him. "And Math? What about your photographic memory? Don't doctors have to be good at Math?"

"My memory doesn't help. I just don't get math. Me and numbers don't mix. They don't make sense."

Shaking his head, Naruto slurped the last of the milk in his bowl. "Numbers are the only thing that make sense."

Finally unable to take the suspense anymore, Sasuke set his own bowl down hard and pinned Naruto with an unblinking stare. "Look, I have to know."

"Know what?"

"If what I said out there…what you said…I mean-"

Naruto gave an odd half-smile. "What. If I still want to be your friend?"

Sasuke nodded, face reddening.

"Well," Naruto said, frowning as if the question were of the utmost importance. "Seems to me like you said you don't want a friend. Come to think of it…didn't you tell me to get a life?" He got up to wash his bowl at the sink, giving Sasuke his back.

Fuck. "Yeah, I did say that, but-"

"You also said I make you sick. Matter of fact, every time I try to get close to you, you push me away."

Sasuke drummed his fingers on the table top, thinking. "Well, I…things are different now."

"They are?" Naruto reached over and snagged Sasuke's bowl to set it in the sink. "How so?"

"I mean I came back, didn't I? Shared and all that?" He watched Naruto rinsing his bowl and setting it in the drain board beside the other one. "You think I'd have told just anybody all that?"

Naruto shut the faucet off and leaned his hands on the sink. "So what are you saying?"

"Huh? Nothing." Sasuke abruptly got up to leave, now mortified on top of everything else. "Forget I said anything."

"You really are dumb, but at least now I know why. You've never had a friend. Probably don't even know how to be normal."

Sasuke swung back and found Naruto leaning his ass against the sink, arms crossed. "What-!"

"You think I'd tell someone what you told me?" Naruto straightened and began walking toward him. "If I'm not going to tell how you stabbed some guy, or cried, or saved fifty people tonight, I'm not going to tell your private business. I don't care what you tell me," Naruto said as he bumped Sasuke's chest with his own. "I'm not letting you go." They were nose to nose for a second, before Naruto shoved again with his body, this time pushing Sasuke out of the way so he could walk past him and go back out to the tree house. He held the screen door open for Sasuke to follow. "Looks like you're stuck with me as a friend whether you like it or not."

To his dismay, Sasuke needed several seconds to recover from that brief, but lightning hot contact with Naruto's body. The touch had been like shoving a fork into an electrical outlet; sizzling and completely unexpected.

-oOo-

At the tree house, he and Naruto stretched out on the floor once more. "You, uh…mind if I hang here for a few days?" Sasuke asked after awhile. "Don't feel like going home."

"Not at all. Iruka might, though. And your brother."

But Sasuke thought he could handle Iruka. Itachi was another matter, but whatever. Feeling oddly content of a sudden, Sasuke let himself drift to sleep.