Chapter 5: Nightmares

Lily woke up with a scream, beads of sweat running down her neck. She was absolutely sure this had been the worst nightmare she'd ever had. Sure she usually had tones of nightmares lately, the death of her father in a car accident two years ago and her mother falling into such a deep depression that made her sick caused all those nightmares. But this one was even worse. She dreamt of Lord Voldemort- her father still alive and her mother in good conditions- attacking her family in front of her, she was couldn't move or scream, she couldn't even blink. Voldemort killed them in front of her, she was unable to save them, and when he was done burning their bodies he turned to watch her and said You're next, mudblood.

Her heart was racing and it took a few minutes to calm her breathing and stop shaking. She took a shower and got changed and raced to de Great Hall to have breakfast. None of his 7th year Gryffindor classmates was there. Five minutes after, Cristina sat down next to her.

"Good morning Lil- aaaah!" she screamed when Lily turned to see her. "Merlin, Lily, you look terrible! Didn't you get some sleep last night?"

Lily shook her head and took a bite of her waffle. "You don't look so great either."

Cristina sighed, wanting to tell her about her nightmare, but having to recall all those flashbacks from her past made her sick.

"I didn't get much sleep" she recognized. "Just some stupid nightmare, but nothing to worry about" she said, dismissing it with her hand.

"Me too" Lily agreed, trying to not to look affected by it, but failed.

They both let out a sigh and stared at each other.

"Wanna talk about it?" Lily asked.

Cristina remained silent for a moment, trying to think if it would be a good idea to tell her. Then all of the sudden it hit her, Lily also wanted to share her nightmare with her, and if it was just a silly nightmare she wouldn't look so affected by it, so it must have been something dark too. She finally nodded and opened her mouth to say something when Lily cut her off.

"Meet me in my bedroom after lessons" Lily said, pointing with her head at the entrance to the Great Hall that The Marauders were trespassing.

"Morning, ladies" Sirius greeted sitting in front of Cristina with a huge grin on his face which banished when he saw Cristina's looks.

The rest of the boys sat down without a clue of what had been going on.

"Are you okay?" Sirius whispered to Cristina, a look of worry on his face.

She started nodding, but stopped and whispered back, "No, truth I'm not."

"Whatever it was, don't worry about it, it was just a nightmare" Sirius said, trying to make her feel better.

The others stopped talking to listen to their conversation.

"No, it wasn't just a nightmare Sirius" Cristina said, her tone rising as the words came out of her mouth and she stood up. "I've been dealing with this kind of nightmares half of my life and I assure you it wasn't just a nightmare. I have night terrors, fucking night terrors!"

With that, she sat back down and focused on her plate while trying to avoid the stares from her friends and other people in the Great Hall that had heard her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" Sirius tried to say but she cut him off.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I'm used to it. I usually have them. Before it was almost every single night, but they have stopped a little now" she said, trying to calm her voice. "I know I should've told you guys that I had night terrors, and I know that you'll possibly get tired of hearing me scream like crazy. But I figured I'd rather put you through this knowing you might understand than letting those chicks from the girls dorm talk about me being a freak behind my back."

James, who was at her other side stroked her hair and patted her back a little.

"I know I'm not in this dorm anymore, but I'm sure the guys won't mind" he said in a hushed tone, trying to not get more attention than they already had from other tables. "So, what happened to you, Lil's? You look horrible too."

Lily froze at the nickname. It was the one his father used to call her before passing away. She couldn't take it. That and the fact that he just dared to say she looked horrible.

"Don't you dare call me that, Potter."

James was suddenly taken aback by her comment.

"What?" he just said, completely blank.

"You and I have no kind of friendly relationship where you are allowed to use that nickname" she spat.

"What the hell is wrong with you? I thought that we were friends!" James cried out loud. "Why are you suddenly acting like a bitch to me again?!"

"Oh, so now I'm acting like a bitch when you were the one to tease, prank and make fun of me since first year?!" Lily yelled, jumping off her seat. "You have no right to call me a bitch for just hating you for everything you did to me during those previous years! Plus, I am NOT the manwhore in here!"

"A manwhore?!" James screamed. "Did you just call me a bloody manwhore?!"

"Yes! I Just did! And you are!" She said, leaning in closer to him so she could scream right in his face. "I am not the one who's spent his free time since fourth year chasing after girls, pulling them in broom closets and fucking them just to leave them right after a goddamned shag!"

"At least I'm not a bloody book-worm nerdy girl whose idea of having fun is sitting by herself next to the lake reading Tale of Two Cities and only eating three tiny squares of the chocolate bar you always hide in your fucking nightstand!"

Now it was Lily's turn to be taken aback by the other's comment. "H-How did you know about this?"

"As if it matters to you anyways!" He replied. "It doesn't matter how hard I try to be nice to you, how much I change, because I'll be always be a fucking prankster man-whore to you! But you know what? It's okay with me, I don't fucking want to be friends with someone so damn annoying and know-it-all like you!"

Annoying? Did he just call her annoying? She barely talked to people and he was the one calling her annoying, when he was the one who spent five years trying to take her out to Hogsmeade? She was done. She had enough of hearing him.

"Fuck you, Potter."

With that, she turned to her heels and ran off, trying to hold back her tears.
Cristina stood up and looked at James. Oh man, was she mad!

"Why the hell did you have to call her a bitch and all those other things?!" she told him off.

"She started it!" James protested, sitting back, his mind only playing the last image he had of her: vulnerable, hurt, and about to break down.

"No she didn't James! She just asked you to not call her Lil's!" Peter retorted.

"She wasn't very friendly while saying it" James tried to make them see his point of view,

"Maybe because it might affect her when people call her that" Cristina explained. "Maybe she doesn't like it when people call her Lil's because that's the nickname someone very special to her uses."

James mouth made the shape of an O and words didn't come out of his mouth. He wanted to apologize but he was still mad at her. Why did she have to call him a man-whore. And what's even worse, why did she say they didn't have any kind of friendly relationship?

After classes, Cristina went to Lily's bedroom just to find her sitting next to the window, reading a book with red puffy eyes. Cristina knocked on the door twice before letting herself in.

"How are you feeling?" She asked her.

Lily closed her book and left it on her desk, then she sat on her bed and gestured for her to do so. Cristina closed the distance and sat next to her, looking at her warily.

"Listen, Lily, I just came here to say that there's no need to talk about anything if you don't want to or feel comfortable talking about it."

Lily shook her head and stared at her.

"It's- It's okay" she insisted. "It's the first time I've skipped classes in my whole life and it made me think. I guess I could use a friend right now, someone to talk to. And Cristina, from all the people I've met these years, you're the only one I feel comfortable enough to talk to."

Cristina's face lit up with a smile when she heard those words.

"Who's first?" Cristina asked, still smiling.

"Me" Lily insisted. "I guess you might be wondering why I reacted so bad when Potter called me Lil's..." she breathed in and sighed out loud, trying not to shake. "Well, it was what my dad used to call me, Lil's. He was the only one aloud to call me that. During the previous summer to sixth year he was killed in a car crash. We had a massive argument hours before the accident. He was telling me off for picking a fight with my sister- who refuses to talk to me because I'm the only witch in the family and thinks I'm a freak- when he decided to ground me for two weeks with no friends, or TV, or swimming pool, or even reading books! But you know what's the worst thing about it all?"

"What?" Cristina asked, cautiously, noticing the tears forming in her eyes with every word she spoke.

"Before he left the house, to find some peace in himself, I told him he was the worse dad on Earth and that I hated him. Hours later we received a phone call from the policemen. He was dead. I didn't get to say I'm sorry and apologize, I didn't get to take back all those things I said to him because I never really thought that way, I didn't get to say how much I loved him on last time. I didn't even get to say goodbye."

With this, she broke down and shoved Cristina into a friendly hug, asking for console. She hugged her back, running her hand down her back, realizing how Lily and her were so alike. They were in similar situations and they both hid it from everyone.

"I know how you feel, Lily" she mumbled. "I really do."

Lily broke off their hug and looked back at her. She hadn't finished telling her everything.

"Mum fell into depression after his death and now she's very sick. And now, my sister Petunia is engaged to Vernon and they are getting married in two months and are going to live on their own house. Which means they are going to leave my mother alone. And she can't be, she's so sick, so paranoid..."

She burst into tears again and they repeated the hugging process. "Holy shit" Cristina thought. "She really is going through a hard time!"

"Last night's nightmare was-" she gulped loudly and tried not to choke on her own words. "I saw Voldemort killing my family in front of me and I was unable to do anything to stop him from doing so. It was just terrible... But it wasn't until he looked at me and said 'You're next, mudblood' that I got really scared..."

"Merlin, what a night you've been th- wait. Can you repeat what he said?"

"'You're next, mudblood.'"

Cristina froze instantly. Lily couldn't tell why she did, but the look on her face made Lily scared.

"Cristina, what's wrong?"

"I- I heard those same words on my last night's nightmare too" she choked, gasping for air.

Suddenly, they both felt too cold, taking into account that they were both fully dressed and the heating was on. It was as if the room darkened and they saw a shadow staring at them through the window.

With a scream, they both jumped off of bed and ran to Gryffindor's common room and into the boy's dormitory.