#09: The bitter taste of a broken promise

"Hei, Elen…calm down, will you? What's wrong? You won't win being in this kind of state…"

No matter how hard he tried, the girl seemed not to listen to whatever he was saying; she kept on ignoring his advice countless times and he was sure that something bad would happen after the race began. They were only three competitors that remained in the game, since the others were completely incapacitated to participate. Reiji wish to win was strong, but Elen was too angry to think clearly and that race was their last, but there wasn't any normal method to make her listen. She was a stubborn girl that didn't like to do what others told her. Even Byakuran tried to knock some sense into her, at his request, but in was in vain. But Reiji didn't know what had angered her that much in order not to listen to them, to become so mad. Yet, he knew that their chances to win were really low if she didn't calm herself, but from what he heard from Byakuran, Elen would do even the impossible to win, even if that meant losing her life. He was afraid of that outcome, but there was nothing he could do. Reiji had to trust the girl till the end, hoping that nothing bad would happen that his presentment wouldn't be real.

On the other hand, Elen gripped the handles harshly, as if they had done something to her, but that was a way to keep her rage inside. She knew the reason for getting that mad, but thinking about it that much made things worse, yet…why was she getting annoyed by those words? Even if he was right, that wasn't the time to be angry, not when that affected her thinking and put in danger their lives, but she couldn't calm herself. Reiji tried to make her feel better even before they got into the ship, but he failed. Let alone Byakuran, who put his effort in every thing he said to make her give up that race. Elen knew that she was stubborn and that they might be right, but she didn't want to lose. Still, the reason was unknown to her, because why was it that important to prove that she wasn't useless to somebody that hated her and wasn't even there? Was all that for herself or there was another reason? It was hard even for her to say, but how could she even think about that calmly, when Maruko was next to her, her presence fueling her anger? Elen hated the fact that one of the friends she made there was on the verge of death, while the other one wouldn't be able to ever compete? And all that thanks to a moody girl that didn't like to lose.

"Remaining pilots, get ready! The race will start in 3…2…1, GO!"

Elen didn't wait another word to speed and leave before Maruko, who was left behind. The girl knew that it was wrong the way she was acting, but there wasn't anything she could do, since by winning that last race, she would prove that she wasn't useless and could do something without help. What she did next was a stupid thing, since now she couldn't contact anybody anymore. There was still Reiji with her, but he already understood that it was pointless to reason with her or convince the girl that she should slow down and calm herself. Sure, the win was important, but more was their life. What could they do win the victory if they were dead? Absolutely nothing, but in that split of second, Elen didn't think clearly and it looked like the whole race was between Maruko and her. Both girls tried to win, getting in front of one another, even clashing their ships to make the other give up or incapacitate him. But there was no way Elen would give up the victory to somebody like her, so she told Reiji to do something and fire at them. The boy sighed, since all he could do was to get involved as much as he could and maybe then she would calm down and slow, even if it was highly improbable. But there was nothing knew. Elen on the other hand gritted her teeth, because she remembered what happened before they came there and it became more and more unpleasant. How much she wished to strangle that man for thinking that he was the strongest while the others were weaklings that weren't on his level.

-Flashback-

Elen was very nervous about the last race, since a single mistake could not only mean their defeat, but could also cause accidents that could lead to death. They received the map to the last circuit and from what she was, it was quite complicated. If one wasn't careful enough, they would be either pulled out of the game or suffer serious injuries. There were low bridges that they had to pass through, but not even the water there was harmless. It was pure acid, since the competitors had taken care to make the last race as dangerous as they could. That was why she was afraid more about the circuit itself, then by the defeat that they could suffer. A wrong move and everything would be done. Yet, that didn't help too much, she was also excited about that race, because it was their final and Elen wanted to win, but the thrill that the competition brought was making her restless. It wasn't like that was the first time that she was in such a situation, but she just didn't want to lose in front of a cheater. But there was also that promise she made to Byakuran, that she'd return alive and she wanted to prove him that this time, she would survive.

To study again the map was useless, because by then she already memorized it, but making an actual strategy was the hardest thing. Maybe it was too much pressure, but she couldn't think at all, no matter how hard she tried, but the girl didn't want to let that race on the hands of fate. Yet, there was something wrong with her, since Elen could think of anything that would help them win or at least avoid all those dangerous obstacles. It was like she had a mental block, but what if that kept happening and they wouldn't be able to find something quick enough to save their lives? The girl shuddered, because she didn't even want to think about that; it was too cruel and to tell the truth, she was scared. Elen feared that possibility, but she didn't want to disappoint Byakuran either. She may not know that much about him, but in that short time they spent together, he gained her trust and she considered him a friend. A precious friend.

That map was useless, that was the reason why Elen burnt it, until nothing remained, but she still couldn't think of anything. It shouldn't be that hard to find a plan for that last race, because since she was little, that bastard of a father she had, put her in many dangerous situation and she developed the ability to make a strategy as soon as she had some information or on the spot, but now…that didn't seem to work. She bite her lip in frustration, because that never happened, but if she thought about it that way, she had been unable even before, when she talked with Rayne, to tell him something useful. Had she lost her touch and now she was an average boss that could do nothing on her own? Elen refused to believe that, but if she was true, then Kyoya Hibari was right and she was nothing but a weakling. If so, she didn't deserve the title of a boss, because there was no way she could help her family without that special ability of hers. It was something that had helped her countless times, but maybe…maybe she was just a normal person now. That was a tensed moment and nothing useful seemed to come out of her head. They could even die if she didn't find out anything.

Puffing her cheeks, Elen stayed on the couch, since there was nothing that could calm her down and being in her bedroom only made her inpatient. Not that her situation was any better now. There were a lot of things on her mind and she didn't want to think about that, but to focus on the race, yet it seemed impossible. To go for a walk that early was a good idea, but if she did that alone, Elen knew that she'd go straight to her ship and exhaust herself right before the race. She tried to keep her energy for the main event, but now it seemed so hard since there were only a few hours that were separating her from it. Letting out a sigh, the girl just laid down on the couch, trying to be positive, but it was so hard with the difficulties they had to surpass and with the kind of player that Maruko was. She understood that they had to be the ones that attacked first if she was anywhere near them, because if she did that first, they'd have to switch on defense and that could cause a great slow down. That could also determinate the winner of the race. Of course that it was good if Makoto won, but she wanted the first place for herself, yet the girl was aware that not even by having Reiji, a great shooter, with her could help them, if they would give Maruko the opportunity to come with an offensive plan before them.

"Elen-chan~" Being so deep in thought, Elen jumped slightly when she heard Byakuran's voice and she noticed another problem. She scoffed, being aware of the fact that she needed to start training again or in her current state, she would be an easy target for all the mafia families. She could ask Lal and even if that meant pure suicide, Colonello as well. "Why are you thinking so hard? It isn't like you to be like this before a race.~" She frowned, because once again he was right, but there was an explanation, right? That was the last race and she was worried thanks to her inability of making a strategy, but what if she could come with it during the race? That would be wonderful, but deep inside, Elen knew that Hibari had been right. She was useless, but what bothered her even more was…why was he on her mind that much? They meet only a couple of times and even then all they did was to insult each other and he even hit her. But all her random thoughts had to stop, since she still had to respond to Byakuran, but once again, he didn't give her the change to do that, interrupting her before the girl managed to open her mouth. "Somebody asked to speak with you and guess what?~ It's Dino-kun~ you said before that you wanted to speak with him, right?"

That was a real surprise, because Elen wanted for a while to talk with Dino but never had the time to call him, since she was either tired or it was too late in Italy to call. There was no way she would refuse to speak with him, but that really was a good thing, because maybe after they spoke, she would be able to come up with a good strategy, but now she had so many things to ask him and also apologize about that certain incident from Hibari's house. But thinking about that, she couldn't help but blush, yet the girl didn't understand why, because they hated each other to death. That was proved from the very moment they met. But that was enough, since thinking about Kyoya would only make her madder. She took in a deep breath, before thanking Byakuran for announcing her and into his office to talk with Dino. It was hard to admit, but she was at loss of words, because she left without speaking to him and there was also the problem with Xanxus. What would happen once she got back if Lussuria came to convince her that it was a mistake? Sure, she wouldn't forgive them that easily, but she wanted to avoid that at any cost.

Closing the door behind her, Elen sat into Byakuran's chair and tried to calm herself, because it was only Dino, a friend she had for some years, but she would lie if she said that she wasn't disappointed to see that he was actually helping Squalo and Lussuria talk to her. Why would they even want to speak with her, since Xanxus said everything the last time they meet? It was enough; she didn't want to be humiliated anymore, because she knew that sooner or later, Hibari, who was the one who informed her about what happened there, from Vongola's order, to…make their relation better, would make her feel even worse that she felt, by seeing those two and that wasn't the thing she really needed. "What do you want? I think that Xanxus make everything clear before I left Italy. If you try to make me forgive you, you waste your time." Elen might have been cruel, but it was time for them to learn that she wasn't a puppet or somebody that could be treated as they wanted without consequences. But that talk made it worse, because in that moment, she felt her heart beating harder and it would be even harder to concentrate on the race.

"Ma~ but boss didn't want to act like that! You should know how he gets in th-" Elen frowned, because she had enough of that crap and couldn't stand listening anymore. She gritted her teeth and didn't care if she interrupted Lussuria, because there was no way she cared about being polite in that moment. She was angry with them, especially because they had the guts to talk to her like nothing had happened! Elen didn't like that attitude, so if that was all what Dino wanted to tell her, she didn't mind hanging up. "I don't care! If that's all you wanted by calling me, then don't call me anymore! I'm hanging up!" It wasn't the best attitude to have, but what could she do? Elen didn't want to listen to any of them, because she was still mad and it wasn't like doubting her was just a small mistake. As much as she wanted, there was no way the girl could forgive them so easily. She felt…hurt. And the fact that she was going to have her last race wasn't helping, because the pressure along with the sight of them wasn't a good combination. Elen didn't want to doubt herself, but with her lack of finding a strategy on the spot, once she saw the circuit, there was a chance that she would lose or die.

Even if Elen still wanted to talk with Dino, she was mad because he actually helped the Varia get in touch with her and she preferred not to speak with him then fight. It was true that she still cared, but that should serve as a lesson in order not to doubt her again, when she never did something to make them think so. She let out a sigh, before choosing to see who the other person that called her was and she hoped that it wouldn't be…Hibari Kyoya. From what it looked, it was her bad day, because not only the Varia, but also the cloud guardian had to speak with her and the most annoying thing was that they had to do that one after another. Despite feeling bad by then, Elen tried to look as if nothing happened, but it seemed that her strategy had failed miserably. She couldn't help but question herself that was happening? It was weird, because it was the first time she had that problem and it was…unusual, since the most common thing that happened to her was to be confused, not to be sure what to do anymore and so on, but in the end, she still managed to hide everything was happening, but now…she was failing. Was that related to what happened in other parallel worlds? Byakuran warned her about every accident, so maybe…maybe she was going to die, but if not, what was going to happen? Would she remain the same weak, pathetic girl or would she be able to surpass that? Even thinking of that outcome was scaring her. But if that was what it was needed for her to become stronger, Elen was willing to take that risk.

"What do you want? I doubt you called me out of courtesy." She tried to seem normal and as bitter as she always was when they talked, but even her voice seemed to crack. That didn't go unnoticed by Hibari, who smirked in return and she frowned. Everything was over once he managed to read her so easily, because he held an advantage over her. Elen hoped that he would go straight to the point and then hang up, but she knew it wasn't going to happen. From the moment they meet, their relation had been a bitter one, where both changed insults and mocked the other, so why would he be that kind and spar her? "Oh? Something the matter, herbivore? You look as pathetic as you really are. Have you realized how useless you are and gave up that façade with which you tried to fool us?" Elen gritted her teeth, because she was afraid to admit that she was partly right. She wasn't that strong as she seemed to be and the fact that she managed to injure him was pure luck. She wasn't something special like the other bosses. She was aware of the fact that she was nothing more then a girl that wasn't suited to become part of the mafia, but nonetheless got involved in that world where she didn't belong. "Herbivore, instead of relaxing there, you'd better come and take care of this situation. It's your father, no? Hm, or are you such a coward and a weakling that you can't do anything?"

That annoyed her that much, that Elen hang him up, without caring that by acting like that, she gave him satisfaction, but in the end…he was right. Beside that, she didn't understand why his words stuck her so much, since they hated each other. She wasn't supposed to care what he just said or how bad Hibari had insulted her, but she did. That was the thing that bothered Elen, because even if she was that weak, no matter who offended her, she didn't think twice about those words and focused on what was important, but why was he on her mind? The girl scoffed, because that was strange, yet she couldn't help but agree with him, no matter how much it hurt. What did she have to do to change, even a bit, in order to become stronger and not so useless? Closing her eyes for a moment, Elen realized that beside her feelings that tormented her, she was angry, because she let him, Hibari Kyoya make her feel like that in only a few seconds. It wasn't supposed to be like that, because that was her role, to make him mad and mock him, yet she let herself being treated like that. No, that wasn't right and Elen wanted to use that last race to prove herself that she wasn't how Hibari described her and also that she could make a strategy on the spot. That she didn't lose her talent.

-End of flashback-

Why was that important for her to prove Kyoya that she wasn't how he described her? Elen tried to convince herself that it was because she wanted to show him that he wasn't the only one that was exceptionally good, but was that the real reason? In that moment she couldn't think clear, but kept speeding off, like her life depended on it, but it would have been wise to slow down. The girl didn't want to do that and for Makoto, who was behind, become more difficult to keep the pace with them. It seemed that not only Elen, who was a mess even before the race, but also Maruko were that crazy to drive with that speed in that kind of circuit. Not only that it was dangerous, but it looked like that wasn't a competition anymore, but something private. Not even Reiji, who tried to calm Elen down, succeeded in doing so, because this time, she was more stubborn then ever and saying Julie's name was a mistake. The girl became angrier when she remembered what Makoto told them, instead of slowing and thinking that she could have been killed them both. It had been a wrong move, but Reiji tried at least, yet he was out of ideas, because nothing could make Elen react and act like a responsible person, like the one she really was. To be honest, he didn't even know what was happening with her.

Reiji felt the color drain from his face, when he saw that they had to pass through one of those lower bridges and that under them was pure acid. He gulped, but almost fell from his chair when Elen lowered the ship so suddenly and sped without warning him. It was true, she wasn't driving like before, because now it was worse, but at least, they didn't die there. Or so he thought. On the screen appeared that something from the ship was damaged, but now wasn't the time to verify, but Reiji wanted to keep trusting Elen, since she was a great pilot, but he failed to understand what made her like that. Even at their first meeting she had been a pleasant person, that didn't judge him on the sport and tried to get along with him, even if their personalities would have been the opposite. Who had such an impact on her to cause so much anger to surface? Before he had time to even think about something to make her react and calm down, Elen accelerated even more and he was sure that they would die this time. Gulping, Reiji closed his eyes, thinking of something to make her react, because she seemed to be caught in her own anger, failing to notice that more than three times and they would definitely die in an explosion. The ship was badly damaged.

"Why don't you fucking calm down, you stupid girl? Why are you so mad in the first place?! If it's because I told you that you're crazy for driving like this, I'm sorry, ok?! You're a great pilot!" He thought that his words would finally calm her down, but she didn't hear him anymore. Yet, Reiji didn't know what to do, because if they kept with that peace, their death was something more than sure. He hit the keyboard in front of him, because not even his stupid try could have calmed her down, but what if somebody from outside could? He remembered that she had left one day with a white haired guy that came with her everytime they had a race, so what if he was able to make her react?! That was the biggest problem, because it seemed that their communication system was ruined and it would take a while to contact his manager. For him it wasn't a problem to try to repair some things from there so that way he could talk with somebody that maybe would be able to calm her, but with the current style she was using, it was too hard. Reiji tried to recall every moment they spoke, thinking that he may have offended her, but nothing came to him. Her anger wasn't something caused by Maruko either, because in the other racers, she would try to pull her out of the game or give her an advantage, before making her taste defeat, but now…now Elen was being reckless and put their lives in danger.

What it over? None of them could actually think if that was the end, because Reiji was too worried about how to get in contact with their manager, but Elen kept driving even more recklessly, not caring if they collided with something. Her mind was a mess and she couldn't get out those words out of her head. She hated herself for caring and actually agreeing with Hibari Kyoya, because it didn't take long for him to read her. He was right with everything and she was more scared of not being able to stop her step father, Egil into achieving what he wanted. She didn't even know what he was up to, because her strategies have failed and now it seemed that it wasn't an exception. Maybe Byakuran was right and she should have withdrawn, but she had been too stubborn for her own good, the victory being the only thing that was on her mind. But now…was there any chance for them to have the first place or they would fail miserably? Elen was mad at herself, almost on the verge of tears, because none of her strategies was working and kept failing. The reason for that was unknown and that frustrated her. If she couldn't do that, how was she supposed to defeat that man? It was impossible, because he was by far experienced than them and not even the Vongola boss would be able to find something to completely defeat him.

It was so annoying, that she didn't pay attention of how close to the wall she was, hitting it with such force, that the left wing of the ship had been blow apart, now being harder to pilot the ship. The only good thing was that she still had the speed advantage, but for how long? With that disadvantage, Maruko would catch up with them really soon and it would be over, that was why she had to make even more efforts to win. At the cost of her life if that was necessary. She was too caught up in all that fucked up strategy, that when she finally heard Byakuran's voice, when the connection had been reestablished, Elen's eyes widened, because she finally came to her senses. What was what she had been doing? Leading them to their deaths, but now it was nothing she could do to stop that. "Elen-chan…what do you think your doing? You told me that you never broke your promises, yet…your actions show the opposite." His words make her realize even more how foolish she had been, that she played so recklessly with their lives for nothing. He was right…she had been doing only risky things and now they were in danger of dying, thanks to the leaking combustible. Why had she been that mad at the beginning of the race? It wasn't because Hibari talked to her like that or she spoke with the Varia. Elen was aware of that. The real reason was that she didn't like to owe anything to Hibari Kyoya who made her realize her own weakness.

"Sorry, Reiji…I'm been stupid and doing reckless things. I can't guarantee that we'll win or that we'll even survive, but I promise that I'll try to finish this race without destroying the ship even more." This time, her voice was calm and she had finally reacted. The bad thing was that if she got to go back to Italy alive, she would have to thank that could guardian, but for now, the girl had to focus on the remaining circuit, since now what the most important part. It would be even more difficult with how their ship was, but she had to try, because it would be pointless to give up in the middle and beside…she wasn't the only one thinking like that. "I'm glad that you finally calmed down…but let's win this. If Maruko gets the first place, other players will get crushed like what happened to Julie and Kotaro. You're the only one who can do this since we have an advantage in front of them." Elen smiled, before agreeing with him and thanking Byakuran for waking her up, but now she realized that she broke her promise with him. There was no way they would come back unharmed. The race had been so crazy until then and something was about too happen once she passed the finish line. She was sure, because now that all her senses returned, that accuracy to make plans returned and she chose the most secure option, in which they had chances to live. They were small, almost to none, but it was worth the try. That or they would die losing and she couldn't afford that now.

As expected, Maruko caught up with them, but Elen felt like laughing, since she didn't know what happened, but her ship was as bad as theirs. She tried not to do that and let that girl pass near her, thinking that she has won, but she was more careful this time. There were infrared sensors and if Snapper and Shoichi didn't install that feature on her ship, she wouldn't know either. It was almost easy to win, but so hard to keep the ship in one peace, but Maruko also had troubles, since she kept destroyed her ship more and more. At that Elen couldn't help but contact her to mock the girl, before passing the obstacle as well. But…both her and Reiji knew that it wasn't the end and that they would probably suffer some serious injures, because even if they stopped, their time was limited and would still get up in the explosion. "Let's do this! Out of all options we have, I chose the most dangerous one, but with this…we have chances to live! Let's hope that we won't die in hospital." Her voice showed her new found strength, before Elen actually turned on the turbo motors. The most stupid thing a pilot could do when the ship was nothing more than rubbish, but it seemed that she had a backup plan.

Even Maruko was surprised by what she did and followed her, since she wasn't going to let anyone defeat her, but it was too late. For both of them. Elen smirked in the last seconds, before actually closing her eyes and hoping that it would work, because at least Reiji had to be alive. "Sorry Byakuran…I broke my promise…If I'll be alive, I'll make up to you…" Then all the communication broke down and nobody responded. At that Elen took in a deep breath, before lighting the flame from her ring, hoping that it would be enough to protect them, even if it was barely. She closed her eyes, because as she expected, their ship exploded, along with Maruko's behind, but the crash hadn't been a gentle one. Her eyes opened suddenly when she felt something pierce her abdomen and that even made her laugh bitterly. It was over. But at least, she managed to protect Reiji, because he didn't seem that injured. Too bad that she didn't feel anything anymore, because until then, everything had been so fun and she wouldn't be able to say goodbye…Such a pity, but there was nothing that could be done.

"I'm sorry for being so reckless…"