Chapter 2

I couldn't believe my ears; he was saying that I was his soul mate, and that he's been waiting for me to grow up. He said Charlie knew about how he felt about me. I don't give a damn about any of this; I've been alone for a year.

I needed to be away from him. I can't let him in that easily. He left like all the others. I've not seen him or talked to him in years. If he cared so much about me, he would have called, email, or even texted me.

I pushed myself away from his chest making him release his hold on me. I stood and walked into the kitchen.

"I think you need to leave, if you think you can waltz right back into my life that easily you're wrong. You all knew about my abandonment issues, yet each and every one of you abandoned me just like I was nothing," I state with my back turned to him, so he couldn't see how much telling him to leave hurt.

"Isabella, I'll leave for now, but trust me when I say it won't be for good. I've loved you since you were ten years old. I've never had a serious relationship, because it's always been you. I'm almost forty-one, and I'll wait for the rest of my days, if that is what it takes to make you see I'll never leave you again," he responded to my outburst.

I could hear him walk to the door. Once he left, I broke down again. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for what he and his family have done to me. They broke me worse than what my own mother did; when I needed family or even just a friend none of them where there for me.

I pulled myself together and then I went out and got my bags from the back of the truck. I decided that I would just do my best to live my life day to day like I had this past year. I've gotten used to being alone and that is what I want to continue.

After putting everything away, I cooked my dinner, before retiring to my room. I heard the house phone ring. I just let it ring. Later as I lay down to go to sleep, I heard the phone once again. He will slowly learn I don't have a need for him.

He didn't need me and wasn't there when I needed him or anyone at all. My sleep was much like it was each night since Charlie's death; I woke in the middle of the night crying feeling so alone and empty.

I got up and made myself a cup of tea, which I sweetened with honey. As I drank my tea, I thought over all that had happened the day before and it just made it hurt all that much more. As I sat there, I saw the lights of a vehicle go by.

That's weird this is Forks, and the only person out at this time of the night is the Chief or one of his deputies. A few moments later, I saw the lights again, this time they slowly passed. I knew it then that it was Jasper. He was making sure everything was alright here, but it's not and it never will be.

I have learned that I don't need anyone in my life. I can do whatever I want and being alone is what I want. I know that, deep down all this is not what I want, but I'm scared to let anyone in, because I'm scared, they will leave me and it would kill me to be left alone again.

I finished up my cup of tea, turned off the lights, and went back up to bed. I rolled over and the sun was shining brightly through the window. I looked at the clock, and it was already noon. How did I sleep this late? I'm normally up no later than six in the morning.

I showered before going downstairs to fix something to eat. I knew the mail should have come by now so I opened the door to go collect it, there sitting on my porch was a basket of wild flowers. On the handle of the basket was an Angel and in the center of the flowers there were some flowers made into the shape of a dog. They had even pasted eyes onto the flowers.

I looked at it once and I sat it on the table by the front door to continue to go and collect the mail. I found myself drawn to the basket of flowers and this time when I looked at them, I could see a card placed inside the arrangement.

I pulled out the card and it simply said: An Angel for my Angel.

The thought that went through my mind made me cry. As I sat the basket back down, just holding the card, I told myself hell will have to freeze over before I let him in.

For once, I found myself not going upstairs to sit in my rocker. I busied myself around downstairs cleaning and every time I walked by the basket, I found myself reaching out and touching the little angel.

As the day came to an end, I picked up the basket and carried it up the stairs with me. I placed it on top of my dresser, so it would be the first thing I saw as I woke up.

For the first time in over a year, I didn't wake in the middle of the night crying. I felt protected. I still felt alone, but knew I now had someone watching over me. As I woke up the next day, I realized that I had slept in again; it had to be almost noon. The first thing I did was check the mail, since I know for sure that it was delivered for the day. Opening the door once again sitting on the porch was a flower arrangement, this one in a watering can. As I picked it up, I gasped when I saw the butterfly barrette that I had thought was lost since I was twelve.

While taking the barrette out of the arrangement, I saw a card. I picked it up and read:

With doe like eyes, she looks upon the world around her.

The sadness is always there.

The smiles that never reach her eyes.

She feels alone, even though she is not.

What will it take to brighten those doe like eyes of hers?

What will it take to make the sadness go away?

What will it take to make those smiles include her eyes?

Angels watch over her, even though she does not know,

From afar, he watches and waits

What is he doing? Does he think all this will make me let him in? How dare, he hold on to my barrette. It was the first gift I got after moving here. I cried for hours when I lost it. Holding the card with the poem along with the barrette, I cried over everything I had lost again.