Only Human

Penelope Garcia

You know when you first see Ashley walk through the glass doors that it is too early for her to be back. That she should have taken more time off, but according to Hotch she passed her psych evaluation, so there was nothing he could do to keep her home longer. Ashley is dressed in jeans and a big hoodie – not very work like and it makes her look small. You can see the bruise on her throat that Hotch had told you about, but you can't see the ones on her wrist, because she has pulled the sleeves down over her hands. You shiver when you think back on the moment Hotch told you what had happened. Morgan had gotten mad. Dave and Reid had looked shocked at Hotch, while you had covered your face in your hands and started crying. Emily had also found it difficult to hold back her tears even though what Hotch had revealed wasn't new to her.

Ashley walks quietly to her desk and you notice that all of you are looking at her. "It's good to have you back," Morgan says with a smile. Ashley smiles back at him as she puts her bag under her desk and sits down, but where Morgan's smile was genuine, hers is stiff and doesn't reach her eyes. It makes you want to hug her, but you know better. You know it will freak her out.

"So we got a case?" she asks moving her hair behind her ears and you can now see the bruises on her throat much clearer.

"Yeah, we are meeting in the conference room in 5 minutes, but-" Emily doesn't get to say anymore, because Ashley get's up with another fake smile on her lips. "Good, then let's go," she says and walks away. You sigh. You know that Emily had been about to tell Ashley that Hotch didn't want her on this case.

While the others gather their things you walk to the conference room by yourself. You have already brought everything you need up there, so you don't have to stop by your office. When you reach the conference room you notice that the door is open and you can see Ashley sitting on one of the chairs with her legs pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. You can't see her face, because it is hidden behind her hair, but you know she is crying. Her shoulders are shaking and you don't know what to do, but then you hear the others coming. You know Ashley would hate if they also got to see her cry, so you walk over to her and lay a hand on her shoulder. Ashley flinches and moves away from your touch.

"The others are coming now," you say and tilt your head to the side. "Are you okay?"

She lets go of her legs and wipes the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hands. "I'm fine," she says and lets her hair fall in front of her face just in time to cover her red eyes and tear stained cheeks from the others as they walk into the conference room and take a seat at the round table – Hotch on one side of her and Emily on the other.

"Morris County, New Jersey is asking for our help. Over the last two months three women have gone missing." You click on the remote once and a picture of a blonde woman appears on the screen. "First victim is Autumn Owens, 32. She left her apartment on a Friday night around 8pm to meet her boyfriend, but never showed up. Four days later her body was found in a small alley." You click on the remote again and a picture from the crime scene appears along with a picture of a smiling woman with light brown hair and another crime scene photo. You notice Ashley looks away from the screen now and you wish you could turn it off. Emily lays a hand on Ashley's knee and Hotch keeps looking her way instead of yours. "Monica Peary, 30, same thing. Went missing on a Friday night and found four days in an alley. Both women had been manual strangled and had bruises around their wrists, but there was no evidence of sexual assault on either of them."

You click on the remote one last time and sit down as Hotch takes over. "And last night 27 year-old Julie McNeil went missing, which means we only have three days to find her alive."

When they start going over the case you don't really listen to what they are saying, you just keep looking at Ashley. It's like she has changed. A moment ago she could not even look at the crime scene photos and before that you found her crying. Now no emotions are shown on her face and she acts likes all of this doesn't affect her anymore and you now know how she passed her psych evaluation. But it scares you how she can just shift like that and how good she is at it.

"Plane leaves in 30 minutes," Hotch tells them and Morgan, Emily and Reid walk out of the conference room. Ashley stays and you wonder how she could know that Hotch wanted to talk to her, but just as Hotch is about to say something Ashley beats him to it. "I'm not coming with you on this case."

"Why not?"

You spend more time than necessary packing your things together, because you want to hear her answer.

"I have an important appointment at the hospital at noon and I really don't want to cancel it. So if it's okay, then I would like to work the case from here with Garcia," she says and looks from Hotch to you.

"That's fine with me." You smile. "We will have a lot of fun together."

Ashley forces a smile and Hotch nods. "Then it's settled. You will work from here, but only half days." Ashley is about to protest, but Hotch holds up hands signaling her to keep quiet. "You will work half days this case or you won't work it at all. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

Hotch leaves and so do you, but before walking out you look back over your shoulder just in time to see Ashley sink down into her chair with tears falling down her cheeks once again. Keeping a brave face is hard and you wonder how long she will be able to do it.